So? She owns her responses/reactions. Your only responsibility is owning your behaviors and reactions. Your responses in this thread really say to me that you're afraid to live your own life. This is what is so unhealthy and *will* truly adversely affect your kids' lives as they grow up. Truly, the best thing you can do for your kids is recognize that this isn't about dresses or dogs or any other particular issue your mother may bring up. It's about living a healthy life and modeling how to place and enforce healthy boundaries with unhealthy people.

Yes, I would. My mom doesn't guilt me, manipulate me, or otherwise inappropriately insert herself into my and my family's lives. When she visits (and she'll usually stay for a couple weeks), she integrates herself into our lives. If your mother has a true allergy to dog dander, putting it outside, crating it, vacuuming, etc wouldn't matter. She absolutely couldn't be at your house. The fact that she has been in your house and the dog has been inside means her allergy isn't so bad that a trip to the ER isn't necessary. I do hope you are successful in finding a good counselor. Hopefully, you can find one with experience treating the victims of NPD. It's not that people don't sympathize; it's more than likely that they completely understand because of their own experiences and are trying to help you see that the way your mother has treated you, continues to treat you, and will start to treat your precious kids (if she hasn't started in already) is wrong. Full stop. To extend your friend's analogy a bit, if you as the liver don't find a healthy way to detox, the organism (i.e., you and your immediate family - which doesn't include your mother) will suffer even more.

The Name of the Rose - Eco The Eight - Neville Dodger - Pratchett John Adams - McCullough

Ayup. Coffee or tea for me until lunch. I've never liked breakfast. Still drives my mom BSC.

I sure wish my dh would get up and fix my cooler of food for me to take to work. 😉 I usually get a kiss in my general direction and a muffled "luv ya" as he rolls over in bed for another hour of sleep. My kids are very good about packing leftovers for me as they clean up the kitchen after supper; so, all I have to do is reach in the icebox and put the containers in my cooler.

Thank you! I was poking around in my closet and actually have a pair of slack that (a) look nice, (b) fit me <ahem>, and © look nice on me. I don't have a decent blouse, though. I'm going to hit the local thrift store this weekend and see if I can find a nice blouse and maybe a blazer.

Thank you both. I think y'all are right about the slacks and blouse. MedicMom, my system still mostly follows the traditional 24/48 hr schedule and we run ~36000 calls per year. We also have demand trucks which run 12 hours shifts. You're right - it is hard. After 20 years on the streets I simply do not recover as easily when my unit runs all night. One thing EMS as a profession is really bad at is having good career tracks for people who want to stay in the profession, but can't work on the units any more and can't afford the pay cut that is inevitable when you lose the guaranteed overtime inherent in the 24 hr schedule. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors!!

Thanks for the replies. MedicMom, I honestly don't know what the preference is. The position is opened externally to the system; so, any outside candidates won't have Class As. Or, rather, won't have my system's dress uniform. And, in fact, I don't have full Class As, either. Just dress pants and a long sleeved uniform shirt which is currently the field staff's version of a dress uniform. Diana, part of the higher administration/executive staff (my system tends to use those terms interchangeably, though they really aren't) -- the director, deputy director (the position for which I'm applying), and division commanders -- wear the same basic daily uniform as the field staff. This consists of dress or EMS pants (lots of pockets) and a short sleeved uniform shirt. I wouldn't think this would be appropriate for an interview. I think I'll head to the thrift store this weekend to see if there are some nice looking slacks and blouses. I really appreciate both of your thoughts.

I have a chance to promote to an executive level position within my organization. Problem is that I've worn uniforms for all of my working life and don't have business attire. *IF* I were to be chosen to fill the position, I would still wear a uniform similar to what I wear now. I need help with what to wear to the interview. I've looked at business suits, executive business wear, etc and feel completely overwhelmed. What are some suggestions for interview attire? Links would be very handy, too. I prefer not spending a huge amount of money, either. Thanks!

Your dss' experience proves my point about different areas having different pay scales which either do or do not allow any individual paramedic, FF, LEO to support a family. In my state, also a very strong right-to-work state with a generally weak union presence, most paramedics, firefighters, and officers are able to support a family on government pay. In fact, in my area, the public service unions have negotiated pay and benefits for their members which put several area departments at the top of the league tables for the entire very large state. These departments are almost all city departments, not county departments. In full disclosure, I am NOT part of a union and don't have that option. My system isn't even civil service. I completely understand being vested in a county system as I vested many years ago in my county system and would probably not be willing to give that up were I to need to change systems. For me, at least, that's a lot of seniority, pay, and, even more importantly, retirement bennies to give up. Paramedics bridging to nursing or another allied health profession is very common and a great way to serve people and support families. I also agree about private ambulance personnel generally not being very well trained or having decent equipment. I have strong opinions about private ambulance companies, but that's neither here nor there. I hope your dss is successful in his studies!

I want to say, though, speaking as a 20 year street paramedic, the ability to work in public safety (especially EMS) and fully support a family is entirely area dependent. I am the sole provider for my family of eight. I work for a third service county EMS system (i.e., not a private company and not part of the fire department). I am extremely well paid and have what can be reasonably said to be great benefits. We certainly aren't rolling in wealth and have to budget, but neither are we pinching pennies wondering which bill to pay. I live in medium to high COL area. Unfortunately, private EMS services (e.g. private companies) are notorious for paying well below the industry average and offering poor bennies. Equally unfortunate is the fact that in certain areas the only EMS option is a corporate one. EMS services that are rolled into an area's FD are treated much better in terms of pay and bennies, usually due to union negotiating. Third service EMS agencies (county, hospital-district, etc) are also treated very well, at least in my area, and tend to be the most progressive in terms of practicing medicine. It *is* true that being a paramedic (FF, LEO) is extremely wearing physically and mentally. It is incredibly easy to sustain a career ending injury. I help train our new employees and always emphasize that they need to invest in their lives and have a back-up plan. A significant percentage of the medics in my system are taking college classes (UG and graduate level) in many different areas, both healthcare and non-healthcare related. If anyone's kids are interested in public service, I recommend putting a lot of research into the area of interest - average pay in the locale, benefits, retirement package, working conditions, COL, etc. Know, however, that people can and do have great careers in public service and are also well compensated for the work they do.

Medic Mom, you and I are separated by a large geographical distance and I'm seeing the same things you are. Treat a patient, bring them back from the brink of death, take them to the ER, and treat them again 4 hours later. It can be a never ending cycle. We're also seeing the heroin cut with fentanyl. And it's massive amounts of fentanyl per little bit of heroin. Absolutely fatal. I just wonder when the inevitable national backorder is going occur.

Yes. 1550s-1560s #ren/medgeek

They don't. Or, at least, they don't have enough quality sleep. In your area, Sparkly, public schools very well may not assign that much homework per night. However, having hours of HW every night *is* SOP in my area for many hs kids in many districts. (There are 4 average sized to large ISDs in my area.) Bear in mind that these schools by and large aren't top tier public schools; they're average to poor public high schools. And, yes, many of these kids are involved in myriad ECs. I'm a bit older than you and I had an average of 2-5 hours of HW per night, more by my senior year. And I was involved in several ECs, too. One thing I do remember is constantly falling asleep on the school buses which took us to the various UIL contests and games. I certainly couldn't follow that type of schedule now. Lol.

Hey Creekland! Generally speaking a poor or variable pleth wave (the SpO2's waveform) means that the reading is not accurate. This is definitely true for EMS & hospitals (which pay attention to such things <ahem>) with our high dollar monitors. If you're fingers are cold, that will also affect the accuracy.

Do you see just a number or do you also see a waveform with the SpO2 reading?

After the Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve (so, nearly 2 in the morning - in downtown) dh and I are loading up the kids and someone grabs me from behind as I was turning around. Before anyone could react the "poor" man sustained a left cross to the face and I was just about to apply my knee to his family jewels. He managed to croak out that he was a parishioner who wanted a word with dh about some Knights of Columbus thing. Dh, who recognized him, told him the take home lesson is to never grab a woman from behind. Ever. Especially if she's worked on the streets in emergency services for two decades. Apparently, he complained to the rector. Meh. Although, to be fair, when he heard what really happened, the rector sided with me.

And if the person deserved to be murdered, I'm almost positive that's not considered a mortal sin. I'm sure I read that in The Confessions of St Augustine. Or was that the Summa...

First, and most important, you need to do what's best for you and your family. Whatever you decide will be fine, though not perfect because nothing ever is. With what I type below please know that I'm not trying to sway you one way or the other. I have six kids - 15 to 4. As someone who probably worked the eldest too hard when he was in pre-K/K and came to realize and fix that error in my thinking with the other kids, I want you to know that at those ages (so, 4-6 or so) short lessons consistently done (5-10 minutes per subject) is almost always better than 10-15 minutes when someone (usually me, truth be told) loses focus. Yes, the basics are important. What I've learned is that my youngers learn(ed) quicker and *enjoy(ed)* "doing school" whereas my eldest certainly learned, but truly didn't enjoy learning for many years. He's now in high school and has finally come to really enjoy his classes and learning. I sometimes really want to smack my younger self. Anyway, best of luck to you and yours whatever you decide! And congrats on the newest little one!

We're a family if 8; so, I think a tiny house is a non-starter for us. I'd be OK with no electricity; running water (or at least sewage) is a must. However, I must have space. I become twitchy in my own house if I can't have time & space to myself. In my younger years I participated in a paleontological dig or otherwise lived rough for weeks on end and it was fine.

My first thoughts are 1) this cold took *a lot* out her and she's not recovering as quickly because of age; 2) she's still dehydrated and probably doesn't realize it and is not drinking enough water - my former medical director (a GP who specialized in geriatrics) always said that elderly people are usually at least "a pint low"; 3) a secondary infection, especially a UTI even if she doesn't have the typocal symptoms; 4) some combination of the above.

I can commiserate; though, from the opposite side of the coin. I set up a google calendar for the family and linked everyone's phone. On dh's computer I then set the calendar to automatically open in a tab when he gets on the internet. Bless his heart - the man constantly RSVPs for events or schedules appointments *WITHOUT* even bothering to look at the calendar. Then he doesn't tell me so I can enter them on the calendar. Argh! I detest missing appointments without reason and being late - things that have happened more than once due to this issue.

Lol! I completely understand the long-time-member, low-post-count phenomenon. I've been here well over a decade and look at my post count. Congrats on the achievement!

I've shared here before about my periods. Sometime after the birth of my 4th or 5th kid my periods became more like pyroclastic flow - thick, heavy, and lasting a long time. I was in my late 30s/early 40s at the time. I had to use the heaviest, thickest pad available on the market along with Depends, especially when I was at work. My periods (defined as active bleeding, not spotting) would last 7-10 days. And I changed pads every hour. After the birth of my sixth child in my early 40s my periods changed again to very, very heavy with lots of huge clots lasting 5-6 days. I still wore the heaviest pads with Depends and had to change pads every 60-90 minutes. I'm now in my mid-40s (just turned 45, actually) and *still* have very heavy, clotty periods which last 5-6 days. <sigh> I've perfected the thick pad/adult diaper combo. <woot. yea me.> However, the pyroclastic flow has diminished to a faucet-turned-up-all-the-way flow which doesn't last quite as long. It's still super annoying, especially when I'm at work. Nothing beats having to effect a quick pad/diaper change at stupid-thirty in the morning before going on a 911 call. And then having one's male partner ask what took so long. My mom & grandmother both had hysterectomies in their mid-30s; so, I have no idea what's normal in my family. The Ibuprofen trick works somewhat. But I think it's losing its effectiveness. All my labs over this time frame have been well within lab normal ranges, not even on the low normal side. So, I have nothing but empathy for you. My childbearing days are over and I'm beyond ready for the faucet to turn off.

But, but, but!!! FOOTBALL!!!! The entire reason UT exists. Because we're such a powerhouse and win lots of national championships, duh. Oh, wait. --brehon, a UT alum whose eyes just rolled right out of her head