Stephanie, I hear your concerns for the overall situation and, especially, the child invilved. Please know - really deeply understand - that it is *normal* for the non-abusive parent to side with the abusive parent over the child. The equivocation is the same as completely blaming the child. It is so incredibly common that it's a trope among the people who deal with abused children. It's also not uncommon for the stepchildren to be abused even as the half-siblings are not. In my professional life, I have dealt with this exact scenario more times than I can count. Again, the abused child's bio-parent rarely, if ever, defends the abused child. I can't understand it and you probably can't, either, because we don't think or operate like that. Don't try to understand or temporate the situation. And PLEASE DON'T talk to that child's bio-parent, especially given what you know about the reaction to the choking incident. That will only serve to bring about the isolation you fear.

Yes. However, I would *not* mention it to the bioparent. At all. Unfortunately, Katy is correct; non-abusive parents very rarely side with their kids against the abuser, especially if they are also being abused.

Same as others - charging on my bedside table with various notifications turned off, except for designated important numbers.

Wow! How exciting! Good luck to him... ...and you!

We'll try to go easy on you. <cough> #welcometothedarkside

Can I interrupt for a sec here? (Sorry Bill!) My 14 yo dd will begin early morning swim practices (5:45-7:30) tomorrow. <gulp!> What would you recommend for her [ETA: to eat] before practice? We can do just about anything and she has no food allergies/intolerances. We had the snack/dinner combo down for the girls' evening practices. Sigh.

Non-negotiable. The morbidity and mortality are too great to skip this vaccine. I'm kind of surprised your dd's uni doesn't require students to have the vax prior to living in the dorms.

Well, bless their heart...

To bring my initial reply from the more abstract to the more practical, you both can have your way with regard to homeschooling, to a point. It's perfectly fine for your dh to want to homeschool to graduation as an ideal and it's also perfectly fine for you to want to make the decision about whether or not to hs for each kid each year. You both need to agree to consider each other's POV. I'm on my phone and can't see your kids' ages, but, assuming they're early elem and younger, neither of you really need to make set in stone educational plans right now. That's borrowing trouble you don't need. As far as your dh wanting your kids to "be advanced" have you asked him what that specifically looks like? How advanced? One grade level? Two? Ten? Algebra in 6th grade? Reading and understanding Dostoyevsky by 5th grade? I think you both need to sit down and talk about each of your specific expectations and reasonings.

I'm a huge proponent of meeting my kids' educational needs and wants. So, if your elementary kiddo needs/wants more than what you're currently doing, be willing to reach with him. If your 4 yo truly isn't ready or interested in reading, fine. But don't make the mistake of conflating snuggling with teaching. They actually mesh very well, especially at the younger ages. It isn't a zero sum game. Many parents of only young children think they couldn't possibly teach middle school or high school. Then they reach those grades and either realize that truly it's just the next step or decide that a b&m school is best for their situations. Neither is absolutely right or wrong. Just make sure your decisions about whether or not you should accelerate your kids come from a place of rest, confidence, and striving to meet your kids' needs and not from a place of only thinking about your comfort level or fear about an unknowable future. My youngers spend between 15 minutes to 4-5 hours per day on their school work, depending on age/grade. My middle schooler spends about 5-6 hours per day and my high schoolers put in a full day's work. Whatever you decide you'll do fine. :) - signed a mom of 6: 2 (!) high schoolers, 1 middle schooler, 2 elementary schoolers, & 1 pre-K'er.

Oh. Dear. God. < brehon faints dead away, but whether from the blood loss or the shock of that information is unclear >

Tap, like others I think you're choosing to handle this issue very well and you're also providing a good example for the bf of how an adult should behave.

I have that ability, too. It's actually rather a useful skill to have.

Weren't there a couple of threads here at the time where some posters were almost apoplectic that the German government was absolutely *persecuting* that family. Ugh! Any information about German sovereignty, democracy, Germany not being beholden to American laws, etc was met with cries of "parental rights!", "religious persecution!", and other such pearl clutching.

My senior year English teacher was from England. She had attended Oxford and obtained a first from her college in Medieval literature or Medieval English literature. (It's been <ahem> several decades since I graduated high school.) She always used the British spellings of words when giving written critiques on our papers. Even today I am as likely to use a British spelling of certain words as an American spelling, as are many of my fellow classmates who took the class with me. So, here's to you Dr. Meyers! You had an awesome British literature class and were an amazing teacher.

When my youngest was baptised Father apparently used an extra measure of the Chrism oil and just gently rubbed it in for a while. DS was so incredibly fussy until that point and Father kept rubbing the oil and murmuring French to him. Lo and behold, DS finally looked up at him, sighed deeply, and went to sleep. Even though that priest moved to a different parish a year ago, (so, three years after the youngest's baptism) my ds still refers to him as "The Father". Every other priest, including the new (for a year now) rector, is Father [name]. And ds also smelled of Chrism oil for weeks afterward. I was loathe to bathe him. Congratulations! The whole event - ceremony plus celebratory meal - sounds just lovely.

Rabbit trail moment as I sit drinking my morning joe - when my brother and I were young we'd go to Mass with our grandparents when we visited them. I remember an old Irish priest always "Givin' tanks to God." <sigh - happy memories>

No, I'm not a crier. I have been accused of being aloof, cold, and heartless, though.

Have you our own 8Fill's Homeschooling at the Helm? It's not book which tells you which courses you should choose for your kids; rather, it gives you a method for designing classes and coursework that are tailored for your kids' interests. The link to buy her book is in her signature.

Sadie, I obviously can't speak for everyone/everywhere; however, in the church I attend, a fair number of women wear a mantilla, chapel veil, or other cover during Mass. This is during an NO Mass at an urban church. I'm sure more women cover at the church's Latin Mass. That said when my family has attended Mass at other churches I've really only seen very few, if any, women wearing a mantilla. Incidentally, my family prefers to receive on the tongue and we've been surprised how apparently unusual this is when we've attended other churches, too. Not sure if there is a relationship between covering and receiving or not. And I certainly wouldn't say my family is very conservative or pious, either.

Although I have a favorite architectural style, truly my only dream requirement is the 2 story library (minimum) with the rolling ladders. Bonus points for a nice secluded nook with a tea kettle and a snack stash.

I suppose I'm having a difficult time with your examples. In the milk scenario, dh would shrug and say ok, hopefully next time there will be glass bottles (to the extent that he cared at all). In the second scenario, well, it wouldn't arise in my house. If I were working, he would watch the baby and not even ask me to interrupt my work so he could play a game. Both your scenarios posit a man who is being an ass. Whereas in my house and, I dare say, many Hivers' homes the spouses are respectful and considerate of each other, regardless of whether or not headship (in whatever form) is practiced.

In my household (RC with me working full-time & dh a SAHD), for small decisions where no one is greatly impacted or affected or one spouse simply doesn't hold a strong opinion one way or the other, the decision is left to the one who has the stronger opinion. For large decisions which would affect the family (like your investment decision), if we can't come to an agreement, the "no" is the decision. So, OP, given my answer above I think I can fairly say that my dh and I do NOT adhere to traditional marriage roles. Certainly neither of us believe that a spouse can be defiant or insubordinate toward the other. Really, we're both adults and we treat each other as such.

I have not driven home from my work (various EMS stations) after my shift ended if I felt too tired. None of the stations in my system is more than 45 minutes away from my house and most are under 20 minutes. I crash in a recliner or on the couch for a couple of hours. All of my colleagues are encouraged to do the same. It would be a tragedy to my family and friends if I killed myself if a wreck. It would be unforgivable if I injured or killed innocent people while driving

Ah! You're right, VC! I was trying to place the Renaissance and for some reason misremembered where it was. Sorry, OP. Congress Ave bridge is downtown. Fond memories of Amy's here, too.