As for THSC I agree with Texasmom33 - they have completely aligned themselves to the patriarchal, dominionist, fundamentalist version of Christianity. More's the pity.

Ravin, just want to say that while Anglo slave owners did want to keep their slave plantations, the TX Revolution was about much, much more than slavery. There were many Tejanos (Mexicans) who sided with the Texicans (and considered themselves Texicans). My TX history course in 7th grade was actually very comprehensive, thanks, and not mythology. There certainly is misunderstanding about the motives of the TX revolution; however, those misunderstandings tend to lie on all sides of the issue as many people tend to start learning the history around 1830 and ignore the previous couple of centuries.

Oh, I would also recommend both you and your dh read "Being Mortal", if you haven't already. There are very good insights there on elder end of life care and decisions.

So, let me ask this. Who has MPOA, DPOA, etc? Is it shared between the sibs or does one sib have one and another sib have the other? The reason I ask is not because I think that a POA needs to be (or even could legally be) invoked right now; rather, I'm looking at the bigger picture. As your MIL declines further and her mental and physical health deteriorates, who will have the legal authority to make the medical and other decisions for her? Your MIL's dementia seems to track how my grandfather's dementia progressed. I won't bore you with all the details; however, suffice it to say that denial ain't just a river in Egypt, as Mark Twain so aptly said. I still bear a few scars from how I was treated by some of my grandparents' children. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I think a clear email to Pill (thanks TG) stating just what Carol suggested and ignoring everything else is probably your best course of action. Or you could make your SIL's texts/emails into a drinking game - a sip of wine or whatever whenever you read certain words or phrases. Won't help your liver, but might make the next bit of time more bearable. :-/

Working. And hoping I can stay inside in the A/C and the good citizens stay sober and safe.

Nope. Sorry. Little kids don't have some implicit right to attend every event out there. It's not negatively discriminatory to restrict any event to certain ages. Maybe where you live there are so many events for older kids and teens that this isn't an issue. I have a hard enough time finding things for my older kids to do without having to worry that some parent thinks their wunderkind is entitled to participate in everything. Having lots of littles at an event ostensibly for older kids (by subject matter if not by age) just kills the fun for the older kids.

I've noticed this in my own state. Texas is big, really big. And it takes a long time to drive from Amarillo to Brownsville or Houston to El Paso - well over 12 hours on the interstates. And driving across Austin during rush hour? Sheesh! Better pack a picnic. Many people are amazed that they really don't have time to leisurely visit both north Texas and central Texas in the same three day or so trip if they're driving.

Well, the "graduating to iced tea" rite had nothing to do with health concerns in my family and everything to do with "you're now in double digits". I mean, that pitcher of Kool-aid I mentioned had, what, a cup or more of sugar in it and sat out on the counter all day. Of course, this was <ahem> decades ago. I think the bigger question in my mind is should young children drink more than an occasional glass of iced tea regardless of how it's brewed. I brew sun tea, though not on the scale my mom did, and let my younger kids (under 10) drink the occasional glass. My t(w)eens mainly choose water, though they'll drink iced tea at supper. For me, this isn't high on my list of concerns; but, everyone has different thoughts and comfort levels and, like most things, there isn't one right way. :)

Gee, Tap, I never answered your question. My family used/uses mainly Lipton for iced tea, sometimes Luzianne.

I remember my mom and grandmother making sun tea every day when I was a child. They would have a batch already to go in the icebox and a batch sitting on the back porch brewing. They could drink iced tea like no one's business. In fact, now that I think on it, my mom used to make a batch of sun tea and a pitcher of Kool-aid everyday. The original style of Kool-aid, none of this sugar free stuff. This is what my brother and I and any friends who came over drank. <brehon gets lost in good memories for a while> Anyway, no one ever became sick because of sun tea in my family. One of the rites of passage while growing up was graduating from Kool-aid to iced tea around, oh, say 10 or so.

Oh, Aimee, how awful! I've seen this and at one point cemented my reputation as the family bitch by doing *exactly* what Monstermama said. I do hope the social worker and home health are on the ball because all these overly dramatic, "concerned" friends and relatives will NOT be the ones to call you. (As an aside, I'm Italian on my dad's side; I understand exactly the histrionics you and your dh put up with. 🙄) I second the suggestion of decluttering by putting lots of stuff in storage. You'll still have an infestation in those boxes, etc (unless you can somehow fumigate them prior to putting them in storage), but your FIL's stuff will be safer from concerned friends and relatives. <ahem, just saying> Good luck with everything.

Oh, that's rough. There's nothing you can do for this person because they don't want to be helped...by anyone, it sounds like, not just you. Truly, jumping out of slow moving car to avoid going to an ER implies, to me at least, that he knows he has serious health issues and doesn't care enough about living to take care of them. I'm very sorry.

One of the main differences between "stable" and "unstable" angina is when/how it occurs: stable usually occurs during (strenuous) activity; unstable usually occurs while at rest. Angina is angina otherwise (for the most part). It's the heart's way of saying that one or more coronary arteries aren't getting enough oxygen. Multiple episodes of angina generally heralds an impending heart attack, especially with a family history of same. Your friend may or may not be correct about what ultimately would happen if he were to go to an ER. There's no way to know unless he goes to an ER or sees a cardiologist. Heck, even a primary can run an ECG and then refer out. There are a number of people with on-going cardiac chest pain who have "clean caths" and will not have stents placed because there are no blockages. Most people, however, do end up having blockages and have one or more stents placed. There is also a condition called low EF (or ejection fraction) that basically measures how much blood is pumped out of the left ventricle. (There's more to it than just that.) Unfortunately, sometimes people with very sick hearts and low EFs can't have stents placed and aren't candidates for bypass surgery. Until and unless friend is willing to either go to an ER during one of these episodes or make an appointment with a cardiologist for a full cardiac work-up (labs, 12-lead ECG, echocardiogram, and stress test), there isn't much anyone can do except keep encouraging him. Aspirin is, of course, helpful during angina, but isn't a panacea.

Oh, Aimee! How difficult for everyone! Of course your FIL is mad and of course your dh is near to tears. There is nothing about this situation that is or will be easy. I was afraid your FIL might have some dementia based on some of what you wrote. Even early stage dementia can bring on anger like you wouldn't believe. As hard as it is your dh needs to understand this and not take it personally. And, although I understand why you're willing to be the fall guy right now, you can't continue in that role if you're the caregiver. I'm afraid your FIL is frailer than anyone, perhaps even he, knows. Another poster had a very good thought about UTIs. Get him checked for one soon. Most elderly people are dehydrated anyway and a UTI just absolutely does a number on their entire body, including mentally. Many doctors I've talked to who specialize in geriatrics say that elderly + altered mental status (to mean not at the patient's normal baseline) = UTI even in the absence of a fever. Given his forgetfulness and stubbornness please don't let him be in charge of his medications. I know, it seems counterintuitive. I understand he's very independent and doesn't want to be a burden. Just kindly and firmly take charge of them anyway. Trust me on this. And don't forget your oxygen mask. Eat healthy, drink plenty of water, and get some time alone for you. Elder care is difficult enough and all consuming on its own; you also have three kids, at least one of whom is also difficult and all consuming in his own beloved way.

Erm, no, Apple does not do this. Thank goodness.

I think CAP is your best bet for near your home (unless you live near Harlingen which is where the MMA that TG mentioned is). Maybe JROTC for those old enough. Just know that not all CAP squadrons are created equally - the one my eldest is a part of is fantastic. They have lots of activities and meet once a week. My son is going to a week long communications school in June. The other squadron in the area isn't nearly as active and they only meet once every month, I think. If you have a choice of squadrons, be sure to check them out. Your kids would probably be interested in Basic Encampment, if they want a taste of military life. :)

Please don't underestimate how difficult it is to care for an elderly person - physically, emotionally, and every other way. It is incredibly easy for the primary caregiver to have significant burn-out, especially when also parenting young (and in your case) medically challenging children. Again, I don't want to be Ms Debby Downer; I have [ETA: personal and professional] experience with this, though. And WTH?? Three weeks?!? That's absolutely inexcusable. I'm outraged on your family's behalf. I'd plant my steel toed work boots in someone's rear end, if I found out that had happened to one of my family members. Ugh!! You mentioned asking the nurse if she would recommend that your FIL's PCP would come out. Did I understand that correctly? If so, I think I'd just tell her that FIL/you need a consult prior to moving. Is this PCP *fully* apprised of your FIL's resistance to leaving his house? And that he hadn't been taking prescribed heart medication because he didn't understand that he needed to? And his recent living conditions? In other words, how well does the PCP know what's been happening or not with your FIL over the past several weeks to months? Personally, I would request a mild sedative or an anti-anxiety medication for trip home. Erm, for your FIL, not you, LOL.

First, hugs to you. This is never easy. Never. Trying to figure out and do what is best for a person who is legally competent, but realistically just isn't able to live on their own and manage their affairs just isn't for the faint of heart. Second, how in the hell has his living conditions NOT already been reported to his state's version of APS? He's had at least one, if not more, health care workers (aka mandated reporters) in that house. And a maid?! What the hell has this person been doing? Who would be taking on of the bulk of his care at your house? Hospice? Will he let them? You already have an overly full plate right now. FT elder care is beyond difficult. Also, if his neighborhood is as bad as you've said, what are the odds the house will be burgled while he's in SC? It's not that I don't think taking him into your home is a bad idea. On the contrary, it's a wonderful and loving act. I just want you to be as prepared as you can be. Is there any way to start the cleaning process on his house - pest control, carpets, that sort of thing?

Laura, your description of your amah sounds heavenly. I've decided that what my family needs is a Mrs Bird (Byrd?). (My youngers have been listening to "Paddington Bear" recently.) Carol, both my grandmothers (who lived very different lives) had maids come in once a week. My mom had the same until my parents divorced and she could no longer afford it.

Teenaged boy here, too. Whining still happening here.

For work: Word (2013) as a part of Office 365 (?). The county for which I work just finished upgrading all the county's computers to Windows7 (and are staring to upgrade to Windows10) and we use 365. It actually works really well for sharing documents/projects. As a confirmed Luddite I've actually really enjoyed using the 365 suite for my work projects. Home: we use Macs and have an older version of Pages & Numbers (09, I think). I like it well enough probably because I'm used to it more than anything. I used to use Open Office before the county upgraded its systems and it also woked well.

We usually have two griwing seasons each year that we take advantage of: spring-summer and fall-winter. Unfortunately, this year we weren't able to plant tge spring-summer garden due to life getting in the way of our plans. We've already started seeds for the fall garden, though. For my family having a garden does generally save money. We took the time to talk with the Master Gardeners and county extension office for tips and tricks. We actually don't have great soil naturally because of our location. It's generally too alkaline for many crops. Lots of amending and green compost have helped. We also compost all our fruit & veg peelings/scraps and chicken waste. Sparkly, has your dh asked questions of the master gardners and extension agents for your area? These are the people to talk to for the inside scooby.

Two of my kids had such severe colic/GERD that they were on medications for most of their first years. They were exclusively breastfed and I removed all of the common and many of the uncommon allergens from my diet. It was a miserable several years.

My paternal grandfather joined the Army Air Corps voluntarily in WWII, then went Air Force and had another 30+ year service. My maternal grandfather taught Navy pilots during WWII, but wasn't in the service himself. My dad was NROTC in the early 60s, became a Marine officer, & served in Vietnam. He actually was in-country before my grandfather (which ticked him {my grandfather} off no end). None of my uncles were drafted: one was in university; one was too young; and one either was a draft dodger or would have been, if his number had come up. An interesting fact: my grandfather was stationed at the airbase just outside the town where the Tet Offensive started. I think Ravin hit most of the salient points about why a draft wouldn't work today.

I deal with several people both in my family and at work for whom the slightest disagreement with their stated opinion means that the person with the differing opinion is "disrespecting" them or doesn't like them or whatever. Frankly, I'm tired of dealing with it and call it out when it happens.