:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Sometimes when people convince themselves that a person was at least partly to blame for their own misfortune, they want to feel that if they continue making what they believe to be wise decisions, the same tragedy will not happen to them. Many people take a network of stable functional family and friends as a given in life. That is not reality for a lot of people; perhaps this woman had spent her lifetime surrounded by a criminal subculture so that an assault conviction would not raise a red flag for her. It is hard to say because no one here knows her circumstances unless they knew her in real life. At any rate, I'd rather live in a world where compassion was the response instead of scrutiny of her lifestyle to determine that she was somehow partially culpable in her child's death.

In our home.

I have been hit on at all my jobs one time or another. Surprisingly the professionals were every bit as crude as the working classes. I have not been hit on the job. However, I did fear that a foster child's BPD maternal grandmother would assault me at dropoff for visitation. The dropoff was supposed to be supervised but there were no caseworkers at Juvenile Hall when we arrived. Fortunately my husband was with me. The grandmother had a criminal history of assault on adults

Frankly I would have found it odd if someone bought a pumpkin for a six week old infant. Doing the rough mental math, your son would have been about 3 1/2 - 4 months old at Christmas last year and about 16 months old this Christmas. Again, it seems odd to me to buy an ornament for a young infant or toddler. Could it be that your bil is just being practical and thinking what is point of getting such a young baby or young tot a gift unless they are in need of baby items? Why not wait until they're a little older and will consciously enjoy receiving gift? I'm guessing that next Christmas the gifts will be roughly even since your son will then be 2 years old. If not, you could either mention it then or even up the situation yourselves. I would not say anything now.

Given the constraints you described and your husband's understanding compassionate attitude, stay home and enjoy your solitude while he and the kids attend the reunion.

:iagree: However, our family's parenting style seems to be more relaxed in general than what the mainstream appears to be for forum members. Thus, what looks harsh to me may be par for course to someone else. Shaky nonparallel analogies are a fact of forum life.

:iagree:

:iagree:

This was my story too. Unfortunately my mother passed away at a relatively young age when I was a young adult.

:iagree: Both prosper when they ignore one another.

The curriculum we used required memorization of states and their capitals in the 5th grade. I am drawing a blank if/when it required memorizing presidents.

:iagree: I am very concerned for Elizabeth in MN. We privately discussed the long term psychological effects of relentless extreme poverty, particularly when it is coupled with other life stressors. I have no doubt whatsoever that she is authentic and that at least part of the misunderstanding is due to cultural differences that probably very few people here are familiar with. It is difficult to explain succinctly, especially when I lack eloquence and do not want to share certain private information. Her grandmother came up in abject spirit-crushing poverty in the area where I spent my early childhood years. The poster was in a crisis period. Elizabeth, I'll light a candle for you and your family.

"Modesty is a must" is a vague command. The director should have provided a mandatory dress code if she felt she could not trust parents' judgment.

:bigear: My NPD is passive aggressive.

I have an old freestanding convection oven that I adore, especially for roasting and baking.

Exactly. If people sent whiny letters, we would be posting how annoyed we are about those.

I do not understand that worry either. You are not required to include personal identifying information other than your name, nor are you required to post a photo. Common sense dictates that you would not post in advance that you will be away from home or post vacation photos while your home is unoccupied. My motto is that whatever you are unwilling to shout out on public street corner should not be posted on fb. But then I am one of those who has thus far been unwilling to look into how to set up special groups. I am neutral toward facebook. I keep it because that is way some people choose to contact me, and I do like that fb sends me an email notification when I have a private message. Once in awhile, I enjoy looking at links my smart witty friends have posted.

Probably true. Many employers are now on facebook, twitter, and linked in and encourage their employees to link to their pages. Of course, employee has to sign an internet usage policy, which many have had to do already anyway. A certain large publicly held entertainment and lodging company recently used facebook to recruit a couple people from our firm to work for them.

I would eat it.

Unfortunately this appears to have been experience of my mentally ill sibling although sibling supposedly has had access to high quality care from a variety of qualified respected medical professionals.

It is lovely! I have had lifelong fascination with miniatures. Have you ever had a chance to visit miniatures exhibit at Art Institute of Chicago?

How awful for you! I wonder how the troublemaker got your password. Is your virus software up to date?