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So this happened. DNA test


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#101 maize

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Posted 28 September 2017 - 08:22 PM

What do you mean he could be adopted? she is still related to him in a first cousin level....


If he were adopted his family tree might not be accurate (i.e. he could in fact be related to your mom's dad (unknown child of dad's aunt or uncle who was adopted out) without that being apparent from the tree)


Based on the other information you have given (relatives of dad have tested but are not showing up as matches) that seems an unlikely explanation though.

#102 Callie

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Posted 28 September 2017 - 08:36 PM

I don't think this is unusual at all. I know someone very close to me who is probably not related to her "dad." I think all the people involved know it, but none of them has ever mentioned it around me. I won't be encouraging that person to do the DNA tests. :p


I also don't think it is unusual. Both my mil & fil found out as older adults that who they thought were their fathers were not.

My dh did not know his stepfather wasn't his bio father until he was 13. It has to be more common than we think.

#103 Scarlett

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Posted 28 September 2017 - 08:40 PM

If he were adopted his family tree might not be accurate (i.e. he could in fact be related to your mom's dad (unknown child of dad's aunt or uncle who was adopted out) without that being apparent from the tree)


Based on the other information you have given (relatives of dad have tested but are not showing up as matches) that seems an unlikely explanation though.


Right. He is not the only one showing up as related, just the closest. And no 'known' relatives on paternal side are showing

At this point it is statistically impossible that her dad is her bio dad.

#104 Scarlett

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Posted 20 October 2017 - 09:02 PM

My mom called me today. She said she was so glad I was her daughter. And she was glad we have our faith and that she had been truthful to me.

Lomg story short, she connected with a half sister through the DNA Match. The half sister who is in her 80s is sure my mom is her half sister. My mom has 14 half siblings.

Unreal.

Please. Don't lie to your children.

Edited by A Red Color, 20 October 2017 - 09:03 PM.

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#105 maize

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Posted 20 October 2017 - 10:37 PM

wow, that would be a shocking discovery for sure!

So she has a name for her bio dad now?

Edited by maize, 20 October 2017 - 10:38 PM.


#106 Scarlett

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 07:39 AM

wow, that would be a shocking discovery for sure!

So she has a name for her bio dad now?

Yes. The half sister knows a lot and mom was able to piece together even more details.

Edited by A Red Color, 21 October 2017 - 08:04 AM.

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#107 reefgazer

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 09:50 AM

Nm

No he isn't in the data base, but his probable nephew is. It tells how much dna they share.

 


Edited by reefgazer, 21 October 2017 - 09:59 AM.


#108 KungFuPanda

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 10:23 AM

I think these DNA tests are 99 percent about morbid curiosity and maybe 1% about people obtaining health information that actually effects their medical treatment. Knowing you have heart disease on your father's side and being able to DO anything about it that you wouldn't do otherwise are two different things. I'm not a conscpiracy theorist about ANYTHING, but I can see health insurance companies using this information to jack up rates. My health insurance company tried to offer us free fit bits where they had access to the information so they could give us discounts. WHO is taking them up on this? Can you just imagine if a kid who deposited to a sperm bank in college ends up on the hook for child support over this one day? Laws change and information is powerful in the wrong hands. I'm starting to think that the only way you can maintain genetic privacy is to never do these commercial tests. People who won't do Facebook because they feel too publically exposed are doing these mail order genetic tests and it's turning into its own form of social media.
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#109 Scarlett

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 05:00 PM

My mom did not do it for the health info. She wanted to know.

Edited by A Red Color, 21 October 2017 - 05:54 PM.

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#110 Seasider

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 05:07 PM

My mom called me today. She said she was so glad I was her daughter. And she was glad we have our faith and that she had been truthful to me.

Lomg story short, she connected with a half sister through the DNA Match. The half sister who is in her 80s is sure my mom is her half sister. My mom has 14 half siblings.

Unreal.

Please. Don't lie to your children.


FOURTEEN?!!!

Oh my goodness. That's a baseball team and then some.
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#111 Seasider

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 05:09 PM

Yes. The half sister knows a lot and mom was able to piece together even more details.


Are those fourteen scattered, or did others grow up in a sibling group(s)?

#112 Scarlett

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 05:54 PM

I think one from a young marriage, 7 from a second marriage, then my mom, then a last marriage of 6.
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#113 Moxie

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 06:24 PM

I think these DNA tests are 99 percent about morbid curiosity and maybe 1% about people obtaining health information that actually effects their medical treatment. Knowing you have heart disease on your father's side and being able to DO anything about it that you wouldn't do otherwise are two different things. I'm not a conscpiracy theorist about ANYTHING, but I can see health insurance companies using this information to jack up rates. My health insurance company tried to offer us free fit bits where they had access to the information so they could give us discounts. WHO is taking them up on this? Can you just imagine if a kid who deposited to a sperm bank in college ends up on the hook for child support over this one day? Laws change and information is powerful in the wrong hands. I'm starting to think that the only way you can maintain genetic privacy is to never do these commercial tests. People who won't do Facebook because they feel too publically exposed are doing these mail order genetic tests and it's turning into its own form of social media.


I agree. This seems like a bad idea. I said it upthread and my mind hasn’t been changed, some secrets should stay secret. I’m not a fan of truth for the sake of it.
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#114 Scarlett

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 07:18 PM

I agree. This seems like a bad idea. I said it upthread and my mind hasn’t been changed, some secrets should stay secret. I’m not a fan of truth for the sake of it.


As I said up thread I believe the truth is always best.

Edited by A Red Color, 21 October 2017 - 07:18 PM.

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#115 StartingOver

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 08:50 PM

I agree that the truth is always best. You can not understand the need to know who your parent/parents/siblings/etc are unless you have walked in the shoes of one who doesn't know. 


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#116 Scarlett

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 08:58 PM

I agree that the truth is always best. You can not understand the need to know who your parent/parents/siblings/etc are unless you have walked in the shoes of one who doesn't know.


Absolutely. I have lived a life with awkward truths and devastating lies. The lies have always been the most painful.

Even this thing with my long dead grandmother. I question everything now. We really never knew her.

#117 StartingOver

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Posted 21 October 2017 - 09:13 PM

Absolutely. I have lived a life with awkward truths and devastating lies. The lies have always been the most painful.

Even this thing with my long dead grandmother. I question everything now. We really never knew her

 

So many lies, so many secrets. Just be honest.  I am on a search for an unnamed father, not my own but someone very close. I just found a great grandmother I had been searching for, for over 20 years, it was all through DNA. 

 

Anyone who doesn't understand why these tests would be done could visit DNA Detectives on Facebook, run by CeCe from the Long Lost Family show. You will see all sides of the issue and what DNA is bringing to it. 

 

I am thankful for my DNA health results too. It proves my suspicion about many preventative medical issues. 


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