Op I don't post that often anymore since my kids are grown. I've read the thread and your updates trying to decide if I should contribute. My dh has mental issues. We have had some really god awful years. ONLY someone that has lived day to day with someone with mental instability can understand.
I don't want to give advise cause I dont' know what you can handle or your dh's extremes. YOU are the only one that can decide.
I will tell you as someone that stayed married. We celebrate 27 years this summer. I can say with all honestly the last 5 are the only completely nonstress good years for me. There were so many bad/hard years. I had so many times making my exit plan but then he would change thing would be good. Its was a roller coaster way to live.
I protected the kids and gave them stability even when dh was having outburst.
The thing I couldn't change was they learned how to tip-toe around him. We all changed our behavior to keep him in control.
Since he has been stable the past 5 eyars. He is a totally different person now but I honestly have a lifetime of resentment cause I feel like my happy was stolen kwim
My guys are adults now and we discuss a lot of stuff. Then thing that they both say is they are glad we stayed. They love there dad and without us they know his life could of been so different.
So just letting you know as someone that lived it. I pretty much felt like I lived thorugh years of emotional abuse. I don't know if that was really the best decision for my kids. I'm a Christian so I felt like God wanted me stay. When thing were tough he always gave me peace.
I also forgot to mention my dh went through the hyper sex stuff around age 30. It was before texting and internet so his stuff was going to strip club. He also did the prostitute thing. He paid for oral but he said somewhere in his mind he couldn't' do the whole thing. He knew he was off but couldn't help himself. This was not him. He was never a sleep around kind of guy. THe behavior was irrational to him. I'm glad some part of his sick mind kept him from the whole thing. It was rough for me. I know at that time if I would of had any support I would of left. I had a little baby, sick husband and made like 7 dollars an hour He has had other episodes but with the internet the porn got him through it . He has now been stable enough no porn or anything for about 8 years.
Its hard sharing our history but I felt like you need to know someone has walked in you shoes. I know whatever you decide is hard staying or going. God loves you.