"Please tell me about homeschooling." How would you answer?

[purpleowl]

What would you say in response if someone said "please tell me about homeschooling"? 

 

Let's say the person is genuinely interested, maybe considering it for their own child, and you have plenty of time available for discussion. How do you answer? 

 

 

 

(This is partly a spinoff from several current threads, and partly because someone has actually asked me to set up a meeting where I can tell them about homeschooling, and I'm not sure where to start!)

[Critterfixer]

Clarify first. I would ask them what they wanted to know and proceed from there.

[Ellie]

What would you say in response if someone said "please tell me about homeschooling"? 

 

Let's say the person is genuinely interested, maybe considering it for their own child, and you have plenty of time available for discussion. How do you answer? 

 

 

 

(This is partly a spinoff from several current threads, and partly because someone has actually asked me to set up a meeting where I can tell them about homeschooling, and I'm not sure where to start!)

 

If it's a one-on-one conversation, I usually start by asking questions about her own situation, why she's asking, that kind of thing. And then I go from there.

[purpleowl]

In this case, it's a PhD student who had a chance to observe my children and a few other homeschooled children in a fun-but-still-academic setting (where I am the leader and he is a newly recruited helper). Afterward, he told me that he has a four-year-old and wonders if homeschooling would be a good choice, so he wants to know more about homeschooling in general.

 

He is from another country, where (if the internet can be trusted) homeschooling does not seem at all common.

[lanalouwho]

I agree. That question is too general. But they probably don't know what they should be asking.

I would start with briefly explaining your state regulations and requirements. Follow that with questions to try to discern what sort of information they are looking for. What are their reasons for considering homeschool? Do they know their educational philosophy? Do they even know what an educational philosophy is? What is their teaching style? Their kids' learning styles? Any particular concerns?

 

There is just way too much to answer that question. And you don't want to bore or overwhelm them with too much information.

 

Sent from my HTCD200LVW using Tapatalk

[Farrar]

I feel like I've had this conversation several times and it always goes differently. It's so individual. I tend to toss out a little, then a little more, then a little more, and let people ask questions. It's always hard for me to gauge what people want to know and how much they want to know. In initial conversations, I have found that people often have trouble even knowing what they want to know. Like, they ask weird questions, or are really only asking for confirmation bias (school only really takes an hour, right? and then they don't hear that yes, sometimes, but it depends and so on and so forth). It's a weird conversation every time for me.

[Arcadia]

What does his wife think about homeschooling? How well do you know his four year old?

 

I had "advise" my kid's former teacher on homeschooling. I know her husband and her child. Her child is willing to stay with me when she needs to go to the public restroom or take a call. It took many hours and then her emailing me more questions as it arise. Her son is in early intervention and likely 2E.

[purpleowl]

I feel like I've had this conversation several times and it always goes differently. It's so individual. I tend to toss out a little, then a little more, then a little more, and let people ask questions. It's always hard for me to gauge what people want to know and how much they want to know. In initial conversations, I have found that people often have trouble even knowing what they want to know. Like, they ask weird questions, or are really only asking for confirmation bias (school only really takes an hour, right? and then they don't hear that yes, sometimes, but it depends and so on and so forth). It's a weird conversation every time for me.

 

Okay, that's good to know--makes me feel less weird for feeling like it's going to be weird, lol! He did ask me whether we have a specific time frame that has to be "school time" every day, and I think he expected the answer to be yes. So maybe I can start by explaining more thoroughly what our days look like?

 

What does his wife think about homeschooling? How well do you know his four year old?

 

I had "advise" my kid's former teacher on homeschooling. I know her husband and her child. Her child is willing to stay with me when she needs to go to the public restroom or take a call. It took many hours and then her emailing me more questions as it arise. Her son is in early intervention and likely 2E.

 

I haven't met his wife or daughter. I only met him that same evening that he asked me to meet with him--we'd emailed before about the plans for the activity, but I hadn't met him in person before then. I am hoping his wife can also come whenever we meet up. 

[MotherGoose]

I explain why I chose to homeschool, and the reasons it works for my family. My reasons aren't really "public schools are the spawn of Satan" or whatever, so it's something most people, even people who think public schools are fine for them, can relate to. I use lots of "I statements" or "we." As in well I knew that my 5 year old would be an exhausted mess if she was in school all day without a rest--she needs her sleep and down time. Also my 5 year old taught herself to read very well , so k wouldn't have fit for us. And then talk about the positives without disparaging brick and mortar schools.

[TX Native]

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Edited April 30, 2017 by TX native

[Arcadia]

I have a neighbor mom friend who asked if she could come to my home and shadow my kids for a day or two just to see our routine. She is a nice lady who understands personal space and boundaries, but hubby says no.

 

This guy has seen homeschooling kids in a homeschool class setting. If he or his wife ask to shadow you at home would you or your husband be okay with that?

[Desert Strawberry]

I get this all the time. 

First I give a quick explanation that state regulations are extremely loose and highly variable. I give some highlights/examples from my current state's laws. I explain briefly that homeschooling cover a vast range of teaching styles and approaches. Everything from school-at-home to radical unschooling. 

 

I might hit on some of my personal reasons for homeschooling, or if I know that child in question, some possible benefits of homeschooling for that child. 
 

Then I would ask what exactly the parent wants to know, and allow them to steer the conversation in whatever way they need to get their answers. 

[Desert Strawberry]

I have a neighbor mom friend who asked if she could come to my home and shadow my kids for a day or two just to see our routine. She is a nice lady who understands personal space and boundaries, but hubby says no.

 

This guy has seen homeschooling kids in a homeschool class setting. If he or his wife ask to shadow you at home would you or your husband be okay with that?

I have both shadowed, and been shadowed. I'm cool with it. It really is super helpful. 

[Guest]

I just got this from a church friend who grew up in a fairly remote village and was used to pretty much just direct instruction or distance learning with a teacher over satellite. She has waffled about homeschooling and her husband was worried it couldn't be academically sufficient, but neither had any real experience with it and her preschooler is starting to try counting and sounding out.

 

I gave her a quick rundown of what I do for those ages and why (timberdoodle and kumon workbooks to develop hand eye coordination and pre-reading skills like sequencing, mazes, and simple grouping/logic skills; art and play activities with puzzles, paints, and string).

 

I moved forward to my two main kinder programs and why I like them but not in great detail, and then offered her my copy of The Well Trained Mind and Cathy Duffy's guide after that.

 

My thinking is that with a toddler and preschooler I want her to understand educational excellence in homeschooling holistically first, and then after she has decided which parts really ring true for her she can approach my own resources or the general recommendations given from the experienced crowd with some degree of confidence as to what may work for her and her kids. There is such a plethora of materials and so many methods, I wanted her understanding the basic goals and concepts before we dig into anything specific. She had a few years still.

 

If she likes the WTM text I'm directing her here next. But I think the message board is better suited to be nuts and bolts of day to day teaching than what she needs right now which is a conceptual overview from the ground up. And Susan does a fantastic job of that. I think she and her husband just need to see that Christians can homeschool with academic excellence and that it isn't impossible, but it also doesn't look much like the educational setup they came from in a remote Alaskan village :)

Edited September 27, 2016 by Arctic Mama

[Guest]

I'd probably suggest a couple of books, including TWTM! :)

[Hunter]

For decades, the majority of people that engage me in drawn out conversation are in some kind of trouble. That is where we start. At the trouble.

 

And for ME, we usually very quickly hit radical oldschooling vs modern mainstream homeSCHOOLING. I feel them out and proceed with which is appropriate for THEM.

 

I tell stories. If people have never been exposed to homeschooling, they need some context and example. This is alien to them. Totally alien. So I just tell some funny stories and entertain them for awhile.

 

When my oldest hit college, we suddenly had worried blue-collar men literally showing up on our lawn asking to talk to exH. They had met my older son or heard about him. The schools were transitioning to high-stakes testing and lots of little boys were being sacrificed. Moms wanted to pull the boys and dads were so scared their boys couldn't grow to be men, blue-collar men, that knew how to fart and scratch and squeeze. These men knew exH knew how to be blue-collar. :lol: Older son was at the college, paying his own way through, squawking about taxes, and knew how to fart, scratch, spit, and squeeze when shaking hands and whatever else was so critical to those men. So they came to exH. And exH sent them to me.

 

Some of them said it outloud; some just implied it. Unlike here, many of these men wanted their boys to grow up to be like themselves. They did not want, "girly college-boys." They didn't want upward mobility. Sure their sons paying their own way through the local CC was okay, but...these guys...they just were not like you all.

 

They were scared. Meeting older son gave them hope. Those men needed to hear about radical oldschooling.

 

Younger son was 2E. I've had people of all types come to me about 2E kids. Many of them are best served by homeSCHOOLING.

 

People have been sent my way because of poverty and homelessness. Often oldschooling is all they CAN do.

 

People in other countries, things need to be adapted. Sometimes a LOT.

[Farrar]

Okay, that's good to know--makes me feel less weird for feeling like it's going to be weird, lol! He did ask me whether we have a specific time frame that has to be "school time" every day, and I think he expected the answer to be yes. So maybe I can start by explaining more thoroughly what our days look like?

 

Sure. I've done it that way. I really find it's hard to know what people are going to bite about. Sometimes I'll throw out a bunch of different thoughts - there's so many ways to do it, it's not what people expect, it changes your whole lifestyle, there are huge social benefits sometimes, we have a great community and there are lots of opportunities around here, the legal requirements are really easy, you don't have to stay aligned with the schools at all... And usually people seize on something in there.

[Garga]

Look at post #3 on this thread.  I have copied and pasted this post into my own personal files (thank you Homeschool Mom in AZ) and pull it out for people from time to time.  

 

It's a beautiful primer on All Things Homeschool.  Honestly, I cannot stress enough that this is worth a read.

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/513028-i-want-to-buy-everything/

Edited September 28, 2016 by Garga

[73349]

I start with the state law, because that's the framework everybody here is working within. (And the good news is with a 4yo, the law doesn't even apply to you yet--but it's still good to know what you're going to need to do.) I think it's especially important for parents to know that they are the ones who choose and obtain the curriculum; many people seem to be thinking that homeschoolers are given the state-selected textbooks.

[blue daisy]

I've received this question a lot lately since most people we know IRL do not homeschool and do not know anyone who homeschools. So we're a bit of a novelty in our circles. LOL Everyone has been asking me how homeschooling is going and usually they want to know why we chose to homeschool.  I keep it pretty general (everything is going well, we're enjoying our time together, we liked our public school but just wanted more time together as a family and more flexibility, etc.).  Inevitably, they ask more questions, specific to what they want to know. (A lot of people want to know how I know what to teach, or where I got my curriculum, etc. so I mention state requirements, that boxed curriculum is available as needed, but that I also researched homeschooling for so long before my husband actually agreed to it that I was able to select various programs for each of my kids based on their strengths and needs, etc.)

 

I'm sure he is coming to you with his own questions, so that will guide a lot of your discussion.

[blue daisy]

I start with the state law, because that's the framework everybody here is working within. (And the good news is with a 4yo, the law doesn't even apply to you yet--but it's still good to know what you're going to need to do.) I think it's especially important for parents to know that they are the ones who choose and obtain the curriculum; many people seem to be thinking that homeschoolers are given the state-selected textbooks.

 

This - so many people are amazed that I chose my own curriculum.  They want to know where I even found it, and they're surprised that there is such a huge market for homeschool programs.  (This is where I usually mention TWTM forums and how I learned pretty much everything here.  :lol: )

[purpleowl]

Thanks so much for all the thoughts and ideas! I feel better about being able to have this conversation. I'll report back whenever it happens and let you know if I babbled like an idiot or not.  :lol:

[BlsdMama]

What would you say in response if someone said "please tell me about homeschooling"? 

 

Let's say the person is genuinely interested, maybe considering it for their own child, and you have plenty of time available for discussion. How do you answer? 

 

 

 

(This is partly a spinoff from several current threads, and partly because someone has actually asked me to set up a meeting where I can tell them about homeschooling, and I'm not sure where to start!)

 

 

I'd ask her what, specifically, she wants to understand.  I once was explaining to someone different theories of home educating when they just really wanted some curriculum suggestions to get started.  Their eyes kind of glazed over and I realized I was trying to give a crash course to someone that took me years of learning, evolving, etc.  She just needed to START schooling the next week and it was way too much.  There was time for the "more" over her years of schooling, kwim, if she goes there.

 

So, you can best help your friend if you answer her specific questions.  Maybe she wants to know what grammar curriculum, how many hours, what your day looks like, do people do it differently, school involvement, etc., and the best thing you could do is answer her specific wonderings.

[Rebel Yell]

I have a neighbor mom friend who asked if she could come to my home and shadow my kids for a day or two just to see our routine. She is a nice lady who understands personal space and boundaries, but hubby says no.

This guy has seen homeschooling kids in a homeschool class setting. If he or his wife ask to shadow you at home would you or your husband be okay with that?

No, but that's because it would be a waste of time.

My senior reads her books, does the lessons, and puts her work in a pile for me to check. Then she goes to a class, rehearsal, work, or friend's.

My sophomore reads her books or watches her dvd lesson, does her lesson, and puts her work in a pile for me to check. Then she goes to the gym.

But anyone is welcome to hang out with me or look over any books we use. 😎

 

For the OP,

For the situation you're describing, I would emphasize learning at the child's pace, meaning not being slowed down by the pace of the classmates or pushed along when more time is needed. And that each subject area can progress differently... For one of mine at ages 4-7 comprehension in science and math was far above her reading level, and far beyond her capacity for writing, so she could still learn without having to write everything down. Eventually it all evened out, but in a school setting she would have been completely frustrated.

 

I might also include (for the OPs situation) some info about being aware of what would typically be taught in whatever local school the child could end up placed in, in case they do switch in the future. Probably not as much of a concern in elementary years, or middle/high school if the child is working ahead of grade level. More potential for problems in high school if the student hasn't done a typical series of subjects. (For us, we don't follow the typical high school science classes of Bio, Chem, Physics, so would be harder to jump into school in, say, grade 10) So basically, finding balance between the child's pace and interests and being prepared to join age-mates Ina traditional school setting if that is a strong possibility.

[HS Mom in NC]

 I have a new homeschoolers packet I'm happy to send anyone interested.  PM and I can send it to you as a message here at TWTM or you can send me your email and get it that way. 

 

It covers:

1. Evaluating Your Own Education

This guides the parents into discussing what was good, bad and lacking in their own education as a reference point.  The goal is to help them articulate what they want for their kids.

 

2. Three Homeschooling Mindsets

This is a brief rundown of the extremely generalized categories of motivation for homeschooling: Pioneers, Settlers and Refugees.  It explains the difference between Pioneers/philosophical homeschoolers who believe children were designed by God/nature to learn in the context of a family, the Settlers who found homeschooling their preferred of many valid educational options, and Refugees who are fleeing their preferred situation because it turned out to be a bad fit for whatever reason.

 

3. The 8 Different Approaches to Education

 

This is a very simplified bird's eye view of different educational philosophies: Traditional School, Unschooling A & B, Unit Studies, Living Books, Classical Education A, B &C. Listed after each description are commonly used curricula and resources.

4. Academic Decisions for Preschool & Early Elementary School

This one explains the different uses of the term preschool: the time before academics is introduced and early academics for kids under 6.  Several questions are asked to get a the reader to decide which camp they lean towards and how that looks on a day to day basis.

Read alouds are discussed and resources for finding quality books listed.

 

Phonics and whole language are explained and parents are encouraged to familiarize themselves with the differences before seeking out reading curriculum.

The difference in exclusively symbolic math and math manipulatives is briefly described.
 

Writing to general categories: mechanics and composition.  Several questions ask the parent what their goals are for handwriting and then narrations are explained as a foundation for teaching writing. 

A simple explanation of the difference between homeschooling and school at home is given and is followed by questions asking the parent how much of each they prefer.  Other questions about how they envision their learning and their days (hands on, books, interests, projects, etc.) are listed. 

[HS Mom in NC]

I have a neighbor mom friend who asked if she could come to my home and shadow my kids for a day or two just to see our routine. She is a nice lady who understands personal space and boundaries, but hubby says no.

 

This guy has seen homeschooling kids in a homeschool class setting. If he or his wife ask to shadow you at home would you or your husband be okay with that?

 

A thousand times NO!!!!

 

I really discourage that when people suggest it.  It's part of a recent trend in evangelical Christianity to have a "mentor."  It's also, as previously described upthread, a complete waste of time at best and at worst, I'll tell you, it can be a distortion of reality for the person observing. 

 

Homeschooling is so highly individual and the dynamics between each homeschooling parent and each homeschooling kid so variable, that there's no way observing can prepare someone else for their own homeschooling scenario.  Observation will also alter the normal dynamic in the host's home.  

 

It tells those considering homeschooling that they need to be trained by someone else-not at all true.  They're perfectly capable adults who can figure out how to manage their own homeschools. 

 

I do recommend people talk with as many homeschoolers as they can about general differences and consider them, but an in home observation is invasive and counter productive.

[purpleowl]

Yeah, nobody's coming in to watch my homeschooling. My house stays too messy for that.  :lol: Plus I don't see it being terribly helpful; we've grown into our routine, and what works for us will be different from what works for others. But I was figuring I could bring along the spiral notebooks where I write down each kid's work for the day, just to help show how I loosely structure things.

 

I don't have much in the way of curriculum to show him for his DD's level (what I used at that level is A Beka, and I would be very surprised if he is Christian). I can certainly show him TWTM. Any books I had on other styles/approaches, I've already passed on to other moms.

 

Homeschool Mom in AZ, I will PM you for that resource.