why candy rewards?!

[CalicoKat]

Why is it people feel the need to reward kids with candy for Bible verses said, number of times they practic piano, etc. ?

 

One little baggie of skittles has completely undone my dd 8. AHHHHHHHH!!!!! She is wigged out and outta control. She's called me names twice today. Tempertantrums. I. hate. ADHD. How can I parent this child when her meds are completely overridden by a stooopid package of skittles. She knows better, but she's just a kid and she did it any way. We've tried 5 diff. kinds of med and this is the only one that doesn't put her in a foggy funk, space cadet academy. It works. It works, best, most effectively when we keep a HFCS, preservative free, and artificial colors free diet. There is absolutely no way to talk with this child and get her to cooperate when she's wild.

 

:banghead:

 

I spoke with the piano teacher and told her about the problems it causes and asked her to NOT offer candy to any of my kids as a reward. I told her that I'd bring some OK candy for my kids for her to have on hand. She was like, oh, well I'm not going to take it out of the basket.....

 

Frustrated. Although all the kids are doing piano mostly it's for dd8. She's the one totally interested, practicing, and inspired. But we won't be able to continue with this teacher if there's in appropriate candy rewards being given.

[Mom-ninja.]

I get frustrated as well with candy used as rewards all the time.

 

So what exactly did the teacher mean with that response?

[Strawberry Queen]

I think it's totally irresponsible, especially in a culture that is going the way of a tub of lard. Extra sugar not required! Having candy rewards is the reason why I didn't enroll my dds in a local awana. There they are rewarded every week with candy. I don't mind every once in a while but why condition my kids to memorize for candy when they do it at my house as a part of life. :confused:

 

Our piano teacher does give out candy treats at holidays but other than that it's stickers. She would avoid candy if I had a problem with it.

[Harriet Vane]

I too have been extremely frustrated with the influx of candy and cheap plastic trinkets!!! There is really NO need for it--in the old days a child's reward was praise from her teacher.

 

I am so sorry about your dd's struggles. I faced a little bit of that when the family didn't really believe my ds is lactose intolerant. They came around when he had an incident that drove us to the urgent care center because we thought he might have appendicitis--turned out there was dehydrated milk in his oatmeal.

 

:grouphug:

[scrapbookbuzz]

My kiddos aren't ADHD, although I suspect one may be slightly ADD, but I can totally relate on the WHY do they give out candy question. What is the point?? I know kids like it but, really, if you've been told NOT to give it to certain kids, than DON'T. Why are parents requests so often questioned???

[AndyJoy]

My piano teacher gave stickers and music-themed pencils only. Maybe you could suggest this to your teacher or give her some to give to your kids?

[hillfarm]

I get very frustrated with this also. One boy in our church had a terrible time with this. I don't know all the details, but I believe he had ADHD and sugar was a real trigger for him. The poor kid would come into the sanctuary from Sunday School with his cheeks and pockets bulging with gum and candy. And then, surprise, he had major problems being able to sit still and interact appropriately with others.

 

FWIW, he eventually started outgrowing this problem and a few weeks ago used it as the sweetest witness. A young mother was visiting with her two children and nervously commented to us that her ds had ADHA and she was afraid to come, that he would be too disruptive. The now teen boy spoke up and gently told her that he had been the same way and that the child care ladies and congregation were wonderful and that there was nothing that her boy could try that he hadn't already done and that they still loved him. The young mother almost wept with relief.

 

I really don't get all the food rewards. Perhaps in an area where there were fears about malnutrition, but in our area that is definitely NOT the case. Why is it assumed that any child older than a toddler can't go one short hour without a snack? (Excepting of course, those with specific medical conditions) And it is not only churches. Why is snack time an integral part of so many children's organizations--Scouts, 4-H, etc. We decided against snacks in our 4-H club from the very beginning and, this may shock people, we haven't lost a single kid! And our meetings are long, often 2 hours including play time. But we have a drinking fountain and they just have to make do.

[BakersDozen]

I love our Awana group! The kids get one piece of sugar-free candy when they check in, then a group snack at the end which always includes fruit. No rewards for verses in the form of candy! We have never used candy for any kind of reward (potty training, etc.) so the use of it really bothers me. Praise is huge for a child and, IMO, the best reward.

[musicianmom]

It annoys me when dd gets a sucker at gymnastics class. What's wrong with a sticker or a stamp? That's all she gets at ballet and the kids are fine with that!

[gardening momma]

I love our Awana group! The kids get one piece of sugar-free candy when they check in, then a group snack at the end which always includes fruit. No rewards for verses in the form of candy! We have never used candy for any kind of reward (potty training, etc.) so the use of it really bothers me. Praise is huge for a child and, IMO, the best reward.

Does that Awana club let the parents know they are giving out sugar free candy? It bugs me when people give kids sugar free stuff without informing the parents--I have several relatives who are allergic to artificial sweeteners. I'm sure they are vigilant about what they and their kids eat, but I'd assume candy being given out is the sugar-type, not sugar free.

[Jumping In Puddles]

I don't get it either. :confused:

 

A few weeks ago, the guy pumping our gas gave my kids lollipops through their open back windows! @#$#%!!

[stripe]

So....someone with whom you have an ongoing relationship (daughter's piano teacher) has been informed that eating the candy causes massive problems for you and your child later on, and doesn't care. If it's that bad, I'd tell her to decide: get rid of the candy or you leave. I think it's kind of scary that someone is causing these problems for you. Your child should not be the only line of defense expected to say "no," and you should not have to constantly pop up like an angry police officer.

 

I think at one time in this culture, candy actually were a rare treat (think of people getting one orange a year, as a Christmas present, or the peppermint candies in "Ox Cart Man," and so on) -- very, very rare. But they are literally everywhere nowadays, and it's not exactly rare, so not really quite so thrilling!

 

I think Marion Nestle is right on in her analysis of "children's food" in this country. I think there is an element of trying to sabotage the parent-child relationship when kids are being taught to INSIST, against their parents' wishes, on certain neon colored foods.