To homeschool for K or not -- please help! (sorry, long post)

[Mama2Three]

I’ve been going through way too much angst in my decision about whether to officially homeschool my DD in the fall. The pluses are obvious – instilling a love of learning, positive environment, teaching the student where she is, lots of time reading quality literature, more time with mommy, and all the other great things about homeschooling. The curricula I have picked out for her is MFW K as a spine, plus extra phonics and math, art, and nature journaling.

 

 

However, I’m having a hard time finalizing the decision for a few reasons.

 

1. DD is a worrier and often has trouble separating from me, so the “socialization” argument comes up. Right now for 4 mornings each week she’s in a small play-based cooperative preschool, but she sometimes gets sad during the day because she misses me, and her teacher is concerned that she tends to travel from group to group and doesn't have a best friend there. Of course, we would do lots of field trips, library trips, and some sort of weekly group, but I do wonder whether it would be good for her to have her own time away from me to gain more confidence in herself and come into her own.

 

2. Little DS is a handful right now, and takes a lot of my time – I can’t imagine that this will get much better when he turns 2. I have special activities for him, try to include him as much as possible, and I focus on DD during his naptime, but still -- you know how crazy it can be with a toddler running around.

 

3. Older DS is in public school (better fit for him and our family right now), and DD really wants to go to his school. DH wouldn’t say no to full-time homeschooling, but he’s of the mindset that she’d be just fine at ps, too, and wonders why I would want to take it on. So family support is so-so at best.

 

 

DD is a “perfect Paula” who would love to sit and read, do crafts, and complete her workbook pages. She just turned 5 and is probably working on at least a first grade level, so I’m not worried about her academically. The ps she would attend has been very supportive of my DS and I have been (mostly) impressed with what I've seen there. Biggest negative for me: they teach reading using more of a whole language approach than I would prefer. And it's a full-day K program so she'd be gone from 7:45 to 3. If she did go to ps I would supplement with phonics, math, and writing before school, like I do with her big brother. I have it planned out both ways (homeschooling and ps), arggh!

 

 

I am second-guessing myself and wondering, with all of these issues, whether she might have more fun in ps and in some ways get more out of it. Please help! :confused:

Edited April 20, 2009 by Mama2Three

[Chris in VA]

Just my opinion--

 

I'd either keep her home, or send her but don't before school. Personally, I think before schooling and then adding on a 7:45-3:00 day is too much.

 

Home option--

 

First, the academics. You are already, according to your siggy, doing K at home, pretty much. Going "full time" would mean adding--what? Science or some sort of history/geog/cultural studies? It wouldn't be much more work, and even with a 2yo around, if you can do what you are currently doing and add just slightly more, you'd be fine.

 

Second--the socialization part. For me, teaching kids to separate by forcing them to participate in group activities without Mom is like teaching a kid to swim by strapping a Chlorox bottle on his back and throwing him in the deep end. Instead of sending her to school to gain confidence, why not fill her up and let her chose when she's had enough of you? Why stress her out? You can more gently ease her into feeling confident. If she's manipulating you into staying with her because of some power trip thing (now, doesn't that sound a bit ridiculous?), then you can set a boundary--start a group activity with her, then leave for 10 minutes, then come back and finish--stuff like that.

 

K is golden time--it's relaxed, it's fun, it isn't "crucial," and it's great bonding time with sibs and parents. Enjoy it.

[Aggie]

She might have more fun at ps, but is that your long term goal for her education?

 

If she is working on a first grade level, what will she learn in K?

 

As for the home front, it is my experience that a toddler will be much happier with a sibling at home. A toddler doesn't make school easy, but your dd and ds will have the opportunity to develop a strong relationship during the year.

 

As for the first reason you mention, I don't believe her confidence will come from time away from you. Rather, it will come from your relationship with her. I think "best friends" are way over rated at this young age.

 

FWIW, I am a *strong* believer in home educating. Even if I weren't, though, your situation just seems to point to keeping her home. You'll have a wonderful year!

[Alice]

This probably isn't helpful but from what you descibe I'd say either sounds fine. If you dd wants to go to ps with her brother and you are happy with the school I think that's fine. There have been some recent posts about how K especially can be really fun done in public school.

 

But I wouldn't NOT homeschool her because of the separation/socialization thing. I have a 5 yr old ds who sound very similar to your dd. At the beginning of this year he was still pretty nervous about separating from me. My theory is similar to Chris in Va, I let him have the time he needed to separate. I picked some very safe activities for him to try and gain his confidence in (a class where parents watched and he could see me the whole time, Sunday school with a best friend's parent as the teacher, a homeschool soccer league that is a co-op so I was always nearby but not his coach). I've seen a HUGE increase in his confidence and willingness to try new things and be away from me this year. It probably would be the same if he had gone to K. But I don't think he was hurt by being allowed to take it slow.

 

Not sure that's helpful, but I'd say do what is best for your family as a whole. Your dd will likely be fine either way.

[In The Great White North]

:iagree: I think 7:45 -3 is too much for a kindergartner to start with, without adding in before schooling. Supplementing all day kindergarten, with phonics, writing and math is making her do kindergarten twice. Having sent my dc to a Waldorf school, where they don't do any phonics, writing or math at all, I couldn't imagine it. (They also had a "rest period" ie. nap in 1st and 2nd.)

 

If you are concerned about their emphasis on whole language in first grade, why don't you keep her home for K, and wait til she has a good grasp of phonics and reading? A whole language approach can't cause nearly as much harm after she's learned to read.

 

I also agree with not doing the sink or swim method with socialization. Ds had a teacher whose philosophy was that the children in the class were like rocks in a rock tumbler - they would knock the rough edges off each other and polish each other up. The problem is that some rocks crack in the process and others are unrecognizable when they're done.

[Tabrett]

However, I’m having a hard time finalizing the decision for a few reasons.

 

1. DD is a worrier and often has trouble separating from me, so the “socialization” argument comes up. Right now for 4 mornings each week she’s in a small play-based cooperative preschool, but she sometimes gets sad during the day because she misses me, and her teacher is concerned that she tends to travel from group to group and doesn't have a best friend there. Of course, we would do lots of field trips, library trips, and some sort of weekly group, but I do wonder whether it would be good for her to have her own time away from me to gain more confidence in herself and come into her own.

This can easily be solved with dance, girl scouts, church activities, sports, ect... there are lots of activities she could do that would allow her some time away from mommy and socialize.

 

 

2. Little DS is a handful right now, and takes a lot of my time – I can’t imagine that this will get much better when he turns 2. I have special activities for him, try to include him as much as possible, and I focus on DD during his naptime, but still -- you know how crazy it can be with a toddler running around.

It does get better. My ds will be 2 tomorrow and I really think he gets a little better day by day. My older son started joining in "school" with his sister when he was about 2.6 yo. He would do things like the HWT's songs and wooden letters, play dough, ect... I think you might be suprised, this fall, how much of the "hands on" school stuff your little one can join in.

 

 

3. Older DS is in public school (better fit for him and our family right now), and DD really wants to go to his school. DH wouldn’t say no to full-time homeschooling, but he’s of the mindset that she’d be just fine at ps, too, and wonders why I would want to take it on. So family support is so-so at best.

Is there a way to join a co-op homeschool activity group and call it school or is there a school that you could send her to for half a day? I know my 5yo dd would love to go to school, but I really don't care! She would be put into K (October b-day) and be very bored, which would cause her to get into trouble. They teach whole language and Everyday Math. I can't sacrafice her education for her "wants".

A new elementary school is opening this fall and you can see it form my house!! I know, KNOW she is going to want to go!

 

 

DD is a “perfect Paula” who would love to sit and read, do crafts, and complete her workbook pages. She just turned 5 and is probably working on at least a first grade level, so I’m not worried about her academically. The ps she would attend has been very supportive of my DS and I have been (mostly) impressed with what I've seen there. Biggest negative for me: they teach reading using more of a whole language approach than I would prefer. And it's a full-day K program so she'd be gone from 7:45 to 3. If she did go to ps I would supplement with phonics, math, and writing before school, like I do with her big brother. I have it planned out both ways (homeschooling and ps), arggh!

But is she is already reading and doing math, what is she going to do all day? Would it cause her to be bored?

 

 

I am second-guessing myself and wondering, with all of these issues, whether she might have more fun in ps and in some ways get more out of it. Please help! :confused:

.

[lllll]

You might also want to think about the less-than-desirable behaviors she is likely to pick up. Behaviors which you will have to waste time undoing, should you decide to bring her back home at some point.

 

I never got past that point, personally, when I tried to hs my oldest (ps'ed) ds when he was 14yo. I only made it 6 months and then put him back in ps.

 

HTH

[ElizabethB]

If you do decide to send her to school, I would over teach phonetically the sight words (not just by themselves, but with other words in their same class.) For example, teach the sight words "big, did, in, him, sit, it, if" along with some short i words that aren't Dolch Sight words, like hip, bib, and tiff. (I wouldn't do word families, and eventually I would mix all short vowels together.)

 

Even children with a good phonics foundation can regress if taught too many sight words as wholes before they have become fluent readers.

 

Here's my sight word page with the Dolch Sight Words arranged by phonetic pattern:

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/sightwords.html

 

Personally, the sight words would be enough for me to keep my child at home until they were reading very well and would not be influenced by whole word teaching. You'll have to teach twice as much phonics to prevent whole word guessing, so you'll be spending enough time after-schooling to do math and phonics at home if you want to make sure she doesn't develop guessing habits.

 

That's a long day for a 5 year old.

[Impish]

Personally, I don't plan to send any of my kidlets to school, ever again.

 

I know what you mean about having littles underfoot. Diva is 10, and homeschooling. Tazzie is 4, and Princess 2.5. It gets pretty chaotic at times, and I imagine it will get even more so when Tazzie starts 'formally' schooling, and then Princess joins the fray.

 

If you're a person of faith, I'd suggest you pray/seek guidance about it.

 

Do what you believe right for your family. That's what we're all doing, in the end. What we believe is the right thing for our children.

[DawnM]

The socialization thing comes up with who????? Throwing a child into a room with 25 other 5 year oldes does not "socialize" anyone. What do we say to our children as we send them to school? We say, "listen to your teacher, don't talk in class, you aren't there to socialize, you are there to learn!" :lol: And yet, these same folks argue they need to be there for "socialization!"

 

There is nothing wrong with a decision to send your child to school, I am of the firm opinion that it has to be right for your family, I just don't think the socilization thing is the issue.....

 

Dawn

 

 

 

 

However, I’m having a hard time finalizing the decision for a few reasons.

 

1. DD is a worrier and often has trouble separating from me, so the “socialization†argument comes up. Right now for 4 mornings each week she’s in a small play-based cooperative preschool, but she sometimes gets sad during the day because she misses me, and her teacher is concerned that she tends to travel from group to group and doesn't have a best friend there. Of course, we would do lots of field trips, library trips, and some sort of weekly group, but I do wonder whether it would be good for her to have her own time away from me to gain more confidence in herself and come into her own.

 

! :confused:

[Mama2Three]

Just my opinion--

 

I'd either keep her home, or send her but don't before school. Personally, I think before schooling and then adding on a 7:45-3:00 day is too much.

 

 

I guess I hadn't thought about it like that, but you are right, it would make for a long day. I guess I was thinking of ps as the fun part, and what I did with her at home as the academic part. To which I would add LOL if I weren't still stressing about the decision.

 

Second--the socialization part. For me, teaching kids to separate by forcing them to participate in group activities without Mom is like teaching a kid to swim by strapping a Chlorox bottle on his back and throwing him in the deep end. Instead of sending her to school to gain confidence, why not fill her up and let her chose when she's had enough of you? Why stress her out? You can more gently ease her into feeling confident. If she's manipulating you into staying with her because of some power trip thing (now, doesn't that sound a bit ridiculous?), then you can set a boundary--start a group activity with her, then leave for 10 minutes, then come back and finish--stuff like that.

 

 

 

I keep going back and forth about encouraging her to be more independent. Part of me says the more she is with me, the more I can "fill her cup" so to speak, so she can take off when she is ready. But then there is the part that is saying, how can she learn to be independent when she has me as a crutch. I'm sure that there is no power trip going on (95% of the time, and I can tell the other 5%), this can be a serious need for her. When she becomes too stressed (the issues vary), she starts stuttering and it can take a day or a month for her speak normally again.

[Mama2Three]

If you do decide to send her to school, I would over teach phonetically the sight words (not just by themselves, but with other words in their same class.) For example, teach the sight words "big, did, in, him, sit, it, if" along with some short i words that aren't Dolch Sight words, like hip, bib, and tiff. (I wouldn't do word families, and eventually I would mix all short vowels together.)

 

Even children with a good phonics foundation can regress if taught too many sight words as wholes before they have become fluent readers.

 

 

 

Thanks for this thought, Elizabeth. I really like your site and am slowly adding Webster's syllabary to the phonics mix. The whole language thing is a big concern for me. Even though I'm trying to overdo phonics with my DC, my ps'd DS does have a guessing problem, even with words that he has the tools to sound out. Learning syllables has helped him tackle longer words, but it's something that we're still working on.

[Mama2Three]

This probably isn't helpful but from what you descibe I'd say either sounds fine. If you dd wants to go to ps with her brother and you are happy with the school I think that's fine. There have been some recent posts about how K especially can be really fun done in public school.

 

But I wouldn't NOT homeschool her because of the separation/socialization thing. I have a 5 yr old ds who sound very similar to your dd. At the beginning of this year he was still pretty nervous about separating from me. My theory is similar to Chris in Va, I let him have the time he needed to separate. I picked some very safe activities for him to try and gain his confidence in (a class where parents watched and he could see me the whole time, Sunday school with a best friend's parent as the teacher, a homeschool soccer league that is a co-op so I was always nearby but not his coach). I've seen a HUGE increase in his confidence and willingness to try new things and be away from me this year. It probably would be the same if he had gone to K. But I don't think he was hurt by being allowed to take it slow.

 

Not sure that's helpful, but I'd say do what is best for your family as a whole. Your dd will likely be fine either way.

 

Thanks for saying this -- and to op's who have expressed this sentiment. I'm sure she'll be ok either way, too, but it's really nice to hear. :)

[lllll]

Personally, the sight words would be enough for me to keep my child at home until they were reading very well and would not be influenced by whole word teaching. You'll have to teach twice as much phonics to prevent whole word guessing, so you'll be spending enough time after-schooling to do math and phonics at home if you want to make sure she doesn't develop guessing habits.

 

 

Yes, my now 34yos was taught whole word/sight reading in K. When I took him out to hs him at 14yo, 9th grade, he was reading at 6th grade level. :eek: Lousy comprehension, horrible composition skills, etc. I was horrified and was later told by someone in the guidance dept. that they kept moving them ahead until they were more than 2 years behind grade level.:ack2: They suggested I have him tested for LD's. I did. He had none. He just couldn't read! :glare: I'm not sure he ever actually caught up.

[LaxMom]

I guess I hadn't thought about it like that, but you are right, it would make for a long day. I guess I was thinking of ps as the fun part, and what I did with her at home as the academic part. To which I would add LOL if I weren't still stressing about the decision.

 

 

 

I keep going back and forth about encouraging her to be more independent. Part of me says the more she is with me, the more I can "fill her cup" so to speak, so she can take off when she is ready. But then there is the part that is saying, how can she learn to be independent when she has me as a crutch. I'm sure that there is no power trip going on (95% of the time, and I can tell the other 5%), this can be a serious need for her. When she becomes too stressed (the issues vary), she starts stuttering and it can take a day or a month for her speak normally again.

Social maturity comes with, well, maturing, not from being forced into a situation we're not ready to handle. Given the warm, delightful behaviour (<- blatant sarcasm) toward one another that the kids who walk past my house from the bus stop display, I would be even more hesitant to force the issue if she has stress induced stuttering.

 

When we "decided" to homeschool, what we really decided was that we would keep my now 8 y.o. home for K. Because, really, how badly could we mess up kindergarten? And we had twin toddlers at the time.

 

Of course you will make the right decision for your family. That goes without saying. That's just my personal input, nothing more.

[Carol in Cal.]

I think that planning to teach academics after an already quite long school day is unrealistic.

 

If you want the social experience and maybe some fun times with crafts and so forth, why don't you look for an afternoon kindergarten and school the academics in the morning? Around here, anyway, schools are thrilled if someone WANTS an afternoon schedule for their kindergartener--there are so many parents who ONLY want a morning schedule.

 

I think, though, that the school will take up more of your time and her energy than you think, and that if she is already at the first grade level you should really consider whether she will be bored and maybe even a troublemaker there. A good mixed age/mixed level program (maybe Waldorf or Montessori-based, or developmentally oriented?) might be good...or a purely fun content rather than skills-oriented one.

[Erica in PA]

I’ve been going through way too much angst in my decision about whether to officially homeschool my DD in the fall. The pluses are obvious – instilling a love of learning, positive environment, teaching the student where she is, lots of time reading quality literature, more time with mommy, and all the other great things about homeschooling. The curricula I have picked out for her is MFW K as a spine, plus extra phonics and math, art, and nature journaling.

 

 

However, I’m having a hard time finalizing the decision for a few reasons.

 

1. DD is a worrier and often has trouble separating from me, so the “socialization†argument comes up. Right now for 4 mornings each week she’s in a small play-based cooperative preschool, but she sometimes gets sad during the day because she misses me, and her teacher is concerned that she tends to travel from group to group and doesn't have a best friend there. Of course, we would do lots of field trips, library trips, and some sort of weekly group, but I do wonder whether it would be good for her to have her own time away from me to gain more confidence in herself and come into her own.

 

2. Little DS is a handful right now, and takes a lot of my time – I can’t imagine that this will get much better when he turns 2. I have special activities for him, try to include him as much as possible, and I focus on DD during his naptime, but still -- you know how crazy it can be with a toddler running around.

 

3. Older DS is in public school (better fit for him and our family right now), and DD really wants to go to his school. DH wouldn’t say no to full-time homeschooling, but he’s of the mindset that she’d be just fine at ps, too, and wonders why I would want to take it on. So family support is so-so at best.

 

 

DD is a “perfect Paula†who would love to sit and read, do crafts, and complete her workbook pages. She just turned 5 and is probably working on at least a first grade level, so I’m not worried about her academically. The ps she would attend has been very supportive of my DS and I have been (mostly) impressed with what I've seen there. Biggest negative for me: they teach reading using more of a whole language approach than I would prefer. And it's a full-day K program so she'd be gone from 7:45 to 3. If she did go to ps I would supplement with phonics, math, and writing before school, like I do with her big brother. I have it planned out both ways (homeschooling and ps), arggh!

 

 

I am second-guessing myself and wondering, with all of these issues, whether she might have more fun in ps and in some ways get more out of it. Please help! :confused:

 

Well, I really believe in homeschooling as a wonderful option, unless there is a particular reason why it would not be best for a particular child or situation, and I don't see anything in your case that would make me think homeschooling wouldn't be great for your dd. A five year old is still a very young child, and I think it's great for children to be with their parents and siblings as much as possible. I think it makes kids more secure, not less, and I have read studies that have supported the idea that homeschooled kids tend to have higher self-esteem and confidence than public schooled kids. It sounds like your dd would really enjoy homeschooling, and would do well. You sound like you would be a good homeschooling mother who would be diligent about the academics, and about scheduling activities to meet her social needs. As far as missing you while she's at playgroup, I don't think it's at all unusual for a five year old to miss her mother, especially when she's away from her four mornings per week. And the fact that she doesn't have a best friend there wouldn't bother me.

 

So I would say give homeschooling a go! I think you could have a really nice year of K at home together, and your dd could learn much more than she would at school.

[Mama2Three]

Thanks, everyone, for all the responses. You've given me things to mull over and share with DH. Time for bed now...

[Supertechmom]

I know I am jumping in late but may I tell you my story? (And I am in no way suggestting this is what you have done or anything - Just that the solution to my problem may give you some confidence concerning the momma connection :001_smile:)

 

My oldest was born. At 6 months,he began crying when left at his daycare (at home care 5 kids total same lady who had kept him from birth and we went to church with her) At 9 months, if he did not see me, he would go into hysterics. True screaming hysterical I'm going to die hysterics. Even if I was holding him. HE HAD TO SEE ME. 24/7.The daycare lady often had to call me to come get him because he would cry himself sick. He stood in his crib gripping the rail an entire night and screamed himself hoarse from us following the well meaning advise to let him cry it out. "Be strong, he'll cave." Nope, he snagged a trip to the drs office for severe laryngitis. While there, I turned him around so he couldn't see me (still holding him in my lap). What the dr witnessed made her say "he's got a problem. that's not normal. Let me make some calls." :glare:

 

She called later and said he had a severe case of separation anxiety disorder. I could schedule time with the Psyche dept but she said in a nutshell, we had two routes. ONE - Continue what we were doing and develop a nervous, anxiety ridden child that would react like this for years to come. Ever seen a 7 year old melt down because Momma left them? I had. I knew that wasn't what I wanted. TWO- Be with him 24/7. Never let me out of his sight even at night. Put him in bed with me. Take him to the bathroom, etc........ The Psyche guy said children given this level of access to mom fill their cup so to speak. They actually become more confident, stronger leaders, and more doers than children under option 1. And that at some point, at some magical point in time, his cup would fill, run over, and he would simply move on without me.

 

I quit work. I put him in bed with us. He would fall asleep gripping my face between his hands with his nose pressed against me. SHEER DESPERATION in every fiber of his body. I learned to pee in the bathroom with a wide eyed little baby staring me down. Life was interesting. I walked the halls at church with him. I sat in his Sunday School class and refused to leave even when told how much I was harming him by refusing to leave him. I endured sneers, hateful looks, snarky comments by grandmas, hubby endured along with me since the child wouldn't even stay with him. I had to work so I worked part time weekends so hubby could stay with him on his days off. He did cry buckets at first but he did ease up and stop crying with hubby. Progress was measured in teeny tiny steps. The day he stopped crying after half the day with hubby. The day he turned around, lost sight of me and didn't scream. The time I stepped out of the room and he didn't cry. The day he didn't cry when I left for work on Sats. The day I peed alone in the bathroom with the door shut. The day he rode in the car seat and didn't scream in terror. The day he went in a stroller. When he slept alone in his own bed ( 10 very long months later). I've told you all this horrible story because the ending is just awesome!!!!!

 

And then the magic point in time came. The very magical moment came. He was 3.5 years old. He had the very week before in Sunday school refused to stay without me. We were so in tune by this point, that I could tell just by the way he stood that leaving would result in disaster. I had tried not a month earlier and the results were just horrific. I still was very much 24/7. Then the next Sunday came. He walked to the door, greeted the door guy with a happy little "Hi", walked beside me to his classroom, and said

 

"Bye Mom! See ya later!" And he walked in and shut the door. :svengo: The sunday school teacher looked at me through the window with the look of what ???? I stood absolutely lost in the hall. I went to SS and my hubby nearly fell out of his seat. I had not been in 3 years.

 

He's never looked back since. He's now turning 12. He is very much the leader of his peers. He does his own thing. Independent Leader is an understatement. And no one, not a single person has ever, ever imagined that this child ever needed me like that.

 

I told that story so you would know that someone out there had a far worse case of separating from mom than you could possibly imagine. And that it was treated with 24/7 non stop mom and mom and mom time. ANd that the child did really indeed leave my side and move out of my shadow to shine his own light. Not because I pushed him into his own group but because I let him come into his own , in his own time, under my ever loving wing. He knew he wasn't rejected, knew I was there, knew somebody had his back. When she is ready, when her cup is full, she will soar all on her own.

 

My two cents worth.:D

[Lovedtodeath]

I put DD in K for a few months and it taught her to question my authority as a teacher. You are already doing enough work for K. That is a LONG day. It was horrible having DD away for that long when she was 5. It was also a lot of trouble to get her to school, more than homeschooling really.

 

So, I advise against it. MFW K is great for making memories! You might supplement with more/different phonics though.

[Chris in VA]

Servin,

THAT was beautiful. You sacrificed appropriately for your child, something that is rare. Much was demanded of you, and you rose to the occasion. What peace you gave your child. What a life long gift--the idea of security, trust, safety. Wow.

[Mama2Three]

Servin, thank you for your response. No matter how difficult it seems, there is always someone who's BTDT even more. I'm a firm believer in attachment parenting and have become a much "crunchier" mom than I would have expected... babywearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding longer than I'd publicly admit, etc, really trying to let DC separate from me when they are/were ready. My first DS I couldn't put down. He was fine as long as he was in my arms or sleeping with me, but otherwise he would scream. Being that he was my first, I thought this was normal, so I just carried him in a sling 24/7, unless I was sleeping beside him. I quit work (a job I LOVED) because even though he was in an on-site daycare and I came to nurse him a few times a day, he wasn't eating or sleeping well and he caught every germ that came in the door. My DM said that I was ruining him, the same week I quit my job. He is 7yo now, and my most outgoing DC.

 

So even though I'm no stranger to attachment parenting, it seems like my DD is just taking longer to get there, and I'm having some doubts. I have to trust that she will soar when she's ready, it's just hard sometimes when I feel like I've been swimming upstream forever and the world is saying to do it the easy, "better" way. I really appreciate your success story.

 

I will say that it's almost certain that I'll homeschool her in the fall. You all have helped me to see that staying the course will be the best thing for her in the long run. Thank you!

Edited April 23, 2009 by Mama2Three

[Supertechmom]

Servin,

THAT was beautiful. You sacrificed appropriately for your child, something that is rare. Much was demanded of you, and you rose to the occasion. What peace you gave your child. What a life long gift--the idea of security, trust, safety. Wow.

 

NOw NOW!! I'm no saint. I needed sleep!!:001_smile: (but thanks!)

 

Servin, thank you for your response. No matter how difficult it seems, there is always someone who's BTDT even more. I'm a firm believer in attachment parenting and have become a much "crunchier" mom than I would have expected... babywearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding longer than I'd publicly admit, etc, really trying to let DC separate from me when they are/were ready. My first DS I couldn't put down. He was fine as long as he was in my arms or sleeping with me, but otherwise he would scream. Being that he was my first, I thought this was normal, so I just carried him in a sling 24/7, unless I was sleeping beside him. I quit work (a job I LOVED) because even though he was in an on-site daycare and I came to nurse him a few times a day, he wasn't eating or sleeping well and he caught every germ that came in the door. My DM said that I was ruining him, the same week I quit my job. He is 7yo now, and my most outgoing DC.

 

So even though I'm no stranger to attachment parenting, it seems like my DD is just taking longer to get there, and I'm having some doubts. I have to trust that she will soar when she's ready, it's just hard sometimes when I feel like I've been swimming upstream forever and the world is saying to do it the easy, "better" way. I really appreciate your success story.

 

I will say that it's almost certain that I'll homeschool her in the fall. You all have helped me to see that staying the course will be the best thing for her in the long run. Thank you!

 

I've noticed that in having more children, I actually spent less time with each one ,even though I am with them I just feel they didn't get that same kind of commitment the first one did. And the other two have seemed to take longer to let go. My middle is 8 and is still prone to stay in my lap if given the choice. I'm having to let go of the idea tht he should be past this and dote on him more. Perhaps some cups are bigger than others and take more??? Or else I have grown impatient and am ready for that stage to be gone?? It is a hard line to know when it's enough and when it is not. :) But I do know you wil have fun homeschooling K. It was a great year!