When is a friend really an ENEMY?

[Doran]

When they give you a batch of FRIENDSHIP BREAD, that's when!!!

 

Dangit!! The last time I had this stuff, I put it on my dryer, along with about 2 years worth of unfolded laundry and sewing projects. It was winter. And raining. And, my kids were maybe two and four. I ran the dryer while naked children ran crying through my kitchen. And, the bag of embryoninc bread? It exploded on top of my dryer, spewed all over everything I had stored there, all down the front of the machine, onto my slippers and my toddler. Sweet, sticky, fermented, premature bread, nastiness. Blech!!

 

So, why, I ask you, do people feel friendly when they give this stuff away? "Here!", she said, as she handed me the pink gift bag, with a hint of something manical in her eyes. "I've brought you some bread (liar!) and some duck soup (a bribe for agreeing to take the other stuff)."

 

And, why, oh why do I feel like a real curmudgeon if I simply toss the little devil of a Ziploc into the trash -- now!

 

 

Doran

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

Do it. Throw it away. End the madness. Don't contemplate for two weeks while it multiplies and makes you miserable.

 

See, only a Good Friend would give you permission to do this very easy thing.

 

[Whisperlily]

Aack! I'd be tempted to pass it along to someone else... in friendship, of course.

 

Then the maniacal look could be in your eye. ;)

[*anj*]

Now see, just recently I was thinking I should mix up another batch of that stuff. We're going to a new church now and I thought I could surprise a bunch of ladies with a little bag o' bread embryo.

 

Are you trying to tell me that's not a good idea? Are you telling me "no"? Inconceivable!

 

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

[abbeyej]

Weren't you guys going gluten-free? ;) Isn't that a reason to toss the stuff?

[Doran]

Weren't you guys going gluten-free? ;) Isn't that a reason to toss the stuff?

 

 

Yes, gluten-free. That's good.

 

 

 

But, the larger question is --

 

 

 

Why do I think I need a reason!!!???

 

 

:o

 

Doran

[Leah]

I consider it to be a service to mankind to politely refuse to take any of it. I will not be guilted into taking any of that stuff off of anyone else's counter-we all just need to learn to happily throw it away.

 

:p

[Unicorn.]

I'll be your friend and you could give it to me! Really. I love the stuff, but sadly don't have the recipe for the starter. :( Oh, and I only pass on the finished product, not the embryo. Now aren't I a good friend? :)

[Crissy]

 

Why do I think I need a reason!!!???

 

 

:o

 

Doran

 

You Do Not Need A Reason! THROW IT AWAY!! :D

[Nicole M]

What the heck are you talking about?!?!

 

What IS it? And why hasn't anyone ever given me any of this, uh, friendly friendship?

[Amy in Orlando]

ROFL - doesn't MamaBear call it frenemy bread? She's so right.

[Janet in WA]

Premature bread? *snicker*

[Ellie]

even though it may mean I'm no longer welcome here [*evil grin*]

 

What the heck are you talking about?!?!

 

What IS it? And why hasn't anyone ever given me any of this, uh, friendly friendship?

 

It's Amish Friendship Bread. Here's the recipe:

 

 

Amish Friendship Bread Starter

 

 

Don’t use metal spoons or equipment. Do not refrigerate. Use only glazed ceramic or plastic bowls or containers:

1 pkg. active dry yeast

2 ½ cups warm water

2 cups flour

1 tablespoon sugar

Dissolve yeast in 1 cup of the warm water. Stir in remaining warm water, flour and sugar, beat until smooth. Place in a glass bowl on the countertop and do not refrigerate. Cover with plastic wrap.

After the starter has fermented for 10 days, you’re ready to begin the next 10 days. Make sure you don’t miss a day! Mixture might become bubbly, and that’s okay.

 

Day 1: Begin or receive starter

Day 2: Stir

Day 3: Stir

Day 4: Stir

Day 5: Add 1 cup sugar, 1 cup flour, 1 cup milk

Day 6: Stir

Day 7: Stir

Day 8: Do nothing

Day 9: Do nothing

Day 10: Add 1 cup sugar, 1 cup flour, 1 cup milk

 

After all 10 days are completed, put 1 cup of the starter in four separate containers. Give three to your friends and keep one for yourself to bake with later. You can give the starters in Ziplock bags, but make sure your friends "burp" the bag each day to keep excess air out.

 

When you give the starter to them, they’re ready to begin the Day 1 instructions immediately.

 

 

Amish Friendship Bread

 

 

Next, when you’re ready to bake the bread, add the following ingredients to 1 cup of starter:

1 cup oil

1 cup sugar

2 cups flour

1 ½ teaspoons baking powder

3 eggs

1 large box or two small (5.1 oz.)boxes vanilla pudding mix

2 teaspoons cinnamon

½ teaspoon salt

Beat by hand until well blended. If desired, add one cup raisins, nuts or chocolate chips. Grease two loaf pans and sprinkle with sugar. Bake at 325 degrees for one hour or until a toothpick in the center comes out clean.

 

Variations: If you’d like to try a different recipe, replace the cinnamon and vanilla pudding with one of the following: poppy seeds and lemon pudding, chocolate pudding and mini chocolate chips or banana pudding and chopped walnuts.

 

Printed in the August 2000 issue of Rural Missouri.

[Tap]

When I see this version of the "Amish" bread, it always makes me think

 

Hmmmmm, Amish and boxed pudding? Doesn't seem to fit to me! LOL

[Unicorn.]

Well I was going to post a big thank you, but that is soooooooo NOT the recipe I had. No pudding in the one I used to make, and a LOT more cinnamon. Sigh, I wish I could remember who gave it to me.

[Ellie]

Well I was going to post a big thank you, but that is soooooooo NOT the recipe I had. No pudding in the one I used to make, and a LOT more cinnamon. Sigh, I wish I could remember who gave it to me.

 

I'll bet you could go sleuthing on the Internet and find it. I'd be happy to have another one that didn't include boxed pudding:D

[Unicorn.]

:D It's very similar to yours, but no pudding. I found this in my recipe box, so I think this is it ( I haven't made this in at least 8 yrs!)

 

Amish Friendship bread recipe- no pudding!! ( but not the starter) I guess I could just use your starter recipe? Anyway, here it is:

 

Amish Friendship Bread

 

Day 1, do nothing

 

Days 2, 3, 4- stir, but don't use a metal spoon

 

Day5- Add 1 cup each: fllour, sugar, milk. stir

 

Days 6-9- stir, do not use a metal spoon

 

Day 10 Add 1 cup each, flour, sugar, milk. Stir. Pour 1 cup each into 3 containers and give to 3 friends (not! :) )

 

To remaining batter add 2/3 cup oil, 2 cps flour, 1 1/2 cps sugar, 1 1/4 tsp baking powder, 3 eggs, 2 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp vanilla, 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp baking soda. You may also add candied fruits,nuts, raisins, 1 cup apples, pecans, etc.

Pour into well greased and sugared laf pans or one bundt pan. Bake 40 min @350 degrees. Cool 10 min before removing from pans. Store bread in a plastic container. May be refrigerated.

 

I always made mine in muffin tins, and sprinkled cinn/sugar on top.

[Mrs. Readsalot]

Given you history with the nasty stuff I would absolutely trash it.

Out of sight out of mind.

[Doran]

What the heck are you talking about?!?!

 

What IS it? And why hasn't anyone ever given me any of this, uh, friendly friendship?

 

 

...Enemies! The only reason you've never been given any of this stuff is because no one has it in for you like they do for me. Consider yourself blessed.

 

And, I figured out why I'm reluctanct to toss this spew. Because her what gave it to me said, "I might have to get a batch back from you when I get back from Costa Rica."

 

 

The evil witch.

 

 

 

 

Believe it or not, I TOLD her about the dryer episode. She simply laughed. See...she knew what she was doing to me.

 

I might need to arrange a dryer accident. Today

 

 

Doran

[*anj*]

 

And, I figured out why I'm reluctant to toss this spew. Because her what gave it to me said, "I might have to get a batch back from you when I get back from Costa Rica."

 

 

The evil witch.

 

You are totally cracking me up!

 

You know, when "her what gave it to you" gets back maybe you can just mix up a batch of the spew itself and give it to her, but you can throw away the one she gave you. OR you could just give her back what she gave you. Freeze it. How long will she be gone, anyway?

[*anj*]

You know what I think I'll do?

I think I'll let my dd8 make up a batch and give it to HER friends!

Isn't that awesome? The girls will think it's a blast, and the moms won't be able to say no. And hey, it's science, right?

[Sandy in Indy]

Now see, just recently I was thinking I should mix up another batch of that stuff. We're going to a new church now and I thought I could surprise a bunch of ladies with a little bag o' bread embryo.

 

Are you trying to tell me that's not a good idea? Are you telling me "no"? Inconceivable!

 

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

 

 

So...do you know how to start it?? I had some years ago and would enjoy having it again.

 

(the rest of you can throw eggs now)

[Nicole M]

Well, you know, our next door neighbor did give us a baked loaf of what she called friendship bread, because my hubby always makes sure her trash can is out every week. So really it was for him, he will insist. I had a nibble and I nearly went into insulin shock. My word. I wonder if it's the same stuff? Living in what my boys call Whole Grain Organic House, it, well.... wasn't our usual fare.

 

Yes, by all means, have a dryer accident. When she gets back from Costa Rica, just laugh right back at her!

[Doran]

You know what I think I'll do?

I think I'll let my dd8 make up a batch and give it to HER friends!

Isn't that awesome? The girls will think it's a blast, and the moms won't be able to say no. And hey, it's science, right?

 

And, I'm being relatively serious about this. What would be way cool, and then you could call it math AND science...would be for your kids to make up a batch with a recipe that enables you to have only ONE recipe if you choose. I'm not a baker (much), but I'd guess if you made bread with the original goo before day six, which is when this recipe suggests you add one cup each of flour, milk, and sugar -- I'd bet that could be the end of it. And, if you only wanted one child, not five, because you really didn't think you could afford five without public assistance...well, then, you'd have your one and life would be good, and you would not contribute to national obesity, and you might still have some friends at the end of the day.

 

 

 

I think her spell has kicked in. I'm delirious.

 

Doran

[shell in SC]

Anj - if it's been awhile since it's passed through your circle of friends, it might not be so bad! DH loves the recipe with pudding so I don't mind getting it *occasionally*, but I do not like being inundated with it.

 

just my .02

 

shell

[nuthouse]

Are you trying to tell me that's not a good idea? Are you telling me "no"? Inconceivable!

 

QUOTE]

 

Don't you be spreadin' that bread in a baggy stuff around here. Dh is in total control in the kitchen and bread ain't been on the menu in six weeks....neither are greens or fresh veggies, but that's a whole nuther discussion. :D:D:D

[momo4]

I felt obligated to make up a batch and was faithful to add and add on the right days. My kids loved it, but way too much white flour and sugar. I would never make it again, no matter who gave it too me. Just like those emails that threaten about all the good things you will miss out on if you don't forward it, I delete it. Delete that bread and be at peace.:) You are right, you don't need a reason. But here is a good one... because you want to.:D

[*anj*]

Are you trying to tell me that's not a good idea? Are you telling me "no"? Inconceivable!

 

QUOTE]

 

Don't you be spreadin' that bread in a baggy stuff around here. Dh is in total control in the kitchen and bread ain't been on the menu in six weeks....neither are greens or fresh veggies, but that's a whole nuther discussion.

 

Oh honey, I would never spread that to you while you're in packing mode. It might end up in a box bound for Europe! Can you imagine?

 

Oh, and while I've got you, please pass along the recipe for those Most Awesome Cookies!!! They were really, really delicious, we all loved them.

 

And don't even bother pming me with it because there are lots of people eavesdropping on our conversation right now and they will want the recipe too!

[*anj*]

I felt obligated to make up a batch and was faithful to add and add on the right days. My kids loved it, but way too much white flour and sugar. I would never make it again, no matter who gave it too me. Just like those emails that threaten about all the good things you will miss out on if you don't forward it, I delete it. Delete that bread and be at peace.:) You are right, you don't need a reason. But here is a good one... because you want to.:D

 

But see, I'm going to use freshly milled whole wheat pastry flour. I have to figure out what to do about the sugar part. I'll bet you could cut it back somewhat. I also wonder if using a little honey instead could work. I know honey is still sugar, but it's better sugar. Hmmm....

[*anj*]

Anj - if it's been awhile since it's passed through your circle of friends, it might not be so bad! DH loves the recipe with pudding so I don't mind getting it *occasionally*, but I do not like being inundated with it.

 

just my .02

 

shell

 

Okay, so what's your address? Looks like I've got a customer for a little soggy baggy of bread embryo!

 

Shell

some house

some town, SC zipcode here! :D

[*anj*]

And, if you only wanted one child, not five, because you really didn't think you could afford five without public assistance...well, then, you'd have your one and life would be good, and you would not contribute to national obesity, and you might still have some friends at the end of the day.

 

 

 

I think her spell has kicked in. I'm delirious.

 

Doran

 

You are too funny! And that's a really good idea. We'll have to ponder that....

[nuthouse]

 

 

Oh, and while I've got you, please pass along the recipe for those Most Awesome Cookies!!! They were really, really delicious, we all loved them.

 

And don't even bother pming me with it because there are lots of people eavesdropping on our conversation right now and they will want the recipe too!

 

 

Cookies......ohhhhh allright, but I'll blog it later today. Sometime in nearer the evening. Love. Ms. D

[OnTheBrink]

The only thing worse than a friend giving you that cra...er, stuff, is when your psycho MIL gives it to you, then calls daily to see if you've stirred, added whatever, etc. And, your H thinks it's such a wonderful thing his beloved mommy shared that with you and he can't WAIT for some delicious bread.

 

It's a tyrannical plot to control people. It is.

[Doran]

Okay, so what's your address? Looks like I've got a customer for a little soggy baggy of bread embryo!

 

Shell

some house

some town, SC zipcode here! :D

 

 

Done! One soggy baggy of ferment is on its way to SC...and I don't mean Santa Claus! :p

 

Doran

[kdeno]

I threw mine away.

 

K

[kdeno]

The only thing worse than a friend giving you that cra...er, stuff, is when your psycho MIL gives it to you, then calls daily to see if you've stirred, added whatever, etc. And, your H thinks it's such a wonderful thing his beloved mommy shared that with you and he can't WAIT for some delicious bread.

 

It's a tyrannical plot to control people. It is.

 

Keep your chin up~ that is rough:eek:

[PrairieAir]

I wrote a blog post about this, but I guess I'm coming at it from the other side. Why do people act like you're trying to give them the plague when you ask if they'd like a bag? Oh, Doran! You are just like my mother-in-law aren't you?:p

[Robin Hood]

My sister just dropped a bag off a couple of days ago. I haven't made this stuff since the before the invention of the zip lock bag. Back then, we used jars. I am keeping it because my 2 dd are getting a kick out of how it works, but I am liking the idea more and more of passing the "bread embyro" to my "friends". (snicker, snicker, sly grin)

 

btw, Doran, how do you get those cute smileys?