Christians- let's talk "quiet times"

[battlemaiden]

I used to really try to have a morning quiet time of Bible reading, prayer, and sometimes even journaling. As time has worn on and the kid count has grown I have been more unconventional-by my standard of course- in my time with God.

 

Honestly, while my husband was gone and the baby arrived I didn't give it much thought- I was on the minute by minute plan.:D

 

So I recently read a book by a Christian homeschooler (don't ask, the book will remain un-named) that suggests abandoning the notion of set quiet times away from our children- primarily because we are rarely, if ever, away from our kids and it isn't realistic- particularly for large families. Instead we should bring our selves before God in the midst of our daily tasks- this seems very Brother Lawrence as he wrote in the Practice of the Presence of God. I appreciate this.

 

But I also like the thought of discipline in meeting with God alone and in quiet, even if it rarely happens.

 

Soooo.......

 

I have the book Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster in front of me as well as Brother Lawrence's small book. I'm at a crossroads. I would love to know your thoughts and how you have handled this as your demands from home and school have increased.

 

Thanks.

 

Jo

 

ETA: Obviously stepping *awaaaaay* from Facebook is where to start....because it. is. evil. :lol:

 

I am off to run errands and will look forward to reading the responses when I get back. You can also PM me if you would prefer to make your opinions known there.

Edited February 18, 2009 by battlemaiden

[Guest]

... a Christian homeschooler that suggests abandoning the notion of set quiet times away from our children- primarily because we are rarely, if ever, away from our kids and it isn't realistic- particularly for large families.

 

My priorities in life are

1. God

2. Husband

3. Children

4. Church

 

I would personally take a book that presented this idea and chuck it. I'm sorry my blood pressure rose just reading that line!

 

Personally, I strongly disagree with that statement. I believe first and foremost that my relationship with God is personal and that I need to carve out a time between me and Him each day. Yes, I want Him to be a part of all my day and all that I do, but *I* believe and need a dedicated, one-on-one time with Him daily. If this means sacrificing sleep time, computer time or anything else, I strive to make it my #1 priority in my day. I am not familiar with the other two books that you mentioned.

 

Just my $.02!

Edited February 18, 2009 by Guest

[battlemaiden]

My priorities in life are

1. God

2. Husband

3. Children

4. Church

 

I would personally take a book that presented this idea and chuck it. I'm sorry my blood pressure rose just reading that line!

 

Personally, I strongly disagree with that statement. I believe first and foremost that my relationship with God is personal and that I need to carve out a time between me and Him each day. Yes, I want Him to be a part of all my day and all that I do, but *I* believe and need a dedicated, one-on-one time with Him daily. If this means sacrificing sleep time, computer time or anything else, I strive to make it my #1 priority in my day. I am not familiar with the other two books that you mentioned.

 

Just my $.02!

 

I appreciate your thoughts. I didn't give an entire synopsis of the book. I'm sorry if I misrepresented the theory this author gives. She is very strong in her opinion that God should be first, however she doesn't think in this season we should comparmentalize. That is too simplistic of an explanation, but hopefully it redeems her reputation a little. I am not in her camp in this area, I just wanted to use her notion as a jumping off point.

 

And although I value your input it may be hard for you to relate entirely considering the ages of your two children.

[Aubrey]

I agree w/ everything you posted. And I don't have an answer.

 

Here's where I am right now. Prayer has become natural, like breathing. I wake up praying. I talk to God while I do the dishes. I listen while I vacuum.

 

BUT...this *can* mean that there's less depth. It usually means that I feel guilty. After all, I (personally) didn't do any better before children. And I think of the stories of children growing up seeing their parents praying--do mine see enough of that?

 

When I worry about it, I find that I'm less likely to do anything. When I embrace this season of life, I find that I'm able to be more on-purpose about my sink-time prayers, if that makes sense.

 

Dh had to memorize about 30-40 Bible verses for one of his classes last semester. I told him I'd do it w/ him, & I wrote them out on index cards one night while I was up feeding the baby. I'm planning to hang them in the bathroom, by the sink, etc. to help w/ more time in the word.

 

And you know, it's a funny thing. The more I *do* it, the more I don't mind & then want to.

 

But I also find excuses. You know why I haven't hung my verses? Because I want to illustrate them first, AND I haven't thought of good illustrations. :lol:

 

I also try to think of my whole life as a prayer. I try to remember that whatever we do for the least of these, we do for Christ & offer my family food & clean clothes & diapers w/ that attitude. Well. I remember doing that at least once. ;)

 

But I do think our ideas of quiet times are a) man-made & b) too finite. Otoh, the idea that prevails is a good one & prevails for a reason.

 

In conclusion, I guess I'd say that I embrace the traditional view of quiet times but try not to let those parameters become the object of my worship.

 

Gotta go now. I feel the need to clean something & maybe bake something. Holiness, right? ;) :D

[Guest]

And although I value your input it may be hard for you to relate entirely considering the ages of your two children.

 

Fwiw - I wasn't directing my response to your situation. I wasn't trying to give advice, I was just giving an opinion. I misread what you were trying to ask, I guess.

 

I would love to know your thoughts and how you have handled this as your demands from home and school have increased.

 

To me, the last 4 years have been about growing and changing. *I* have found that it is imperative for ME to have a quiet time. That's all I was trying to say. I do recognize that I don't have near the experience mothering or homeschooling that the rest of you have.

Edited February 18, 2009 by Guest

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't do quiet times - as in a private devotional (we do have quiet time as a family after lunch but that's when I take a nap:lol: which is not what you had in mind!)

 

What I do: I pray a lot. I pray when I wake up - I'm alone then and it's quiet (dh gets up at 4:30 am - I stay in bed). I pray during the day - kind of a internal on-going conversation.

 

We just naturally talk about God a lot. We relate him to our studies too but not in an artificial way.

 

At night we are studying "The Stranger on the Road to Emmaus" as a family. It is a book/DVD that takes you through the over-arching story of the Bible. I find myself thinking/meditating on things from this study a lot.

 

I am starting to teach Sunday school. Personally, I do my best in-depth study when I have to pull it together and summarize it for a class.

 

This is what works for me and my personality. My relationship with God is alive and well and I'm growing in my spiritual walk. I felt stagnated and strangulated when I was told by my church growing up that I had to relate to God in a certain way - read x number of chapters, in this order etc. I know that's not what you mean - I guess what I'm saying is that there isn't going to be a "one size fits all" answer to this.

[WTMCassandra]

I am familiar with both resources and like both of them. I think the hsing mom is speaking against the condemnation moms can feel if the devil pinches her littles ;) when she tries to get up early for a quiet time. I think you should take the principle of making your relationship with God a priority. Personally, I try to cultivate Bro. Lawrence habits and add in formal quiet times as I can. It's a lot easier now that my children are older.

 

I think it is both/and rather than either/or. And if you have a large family, you need to do what keeps you sane and helps you avoid snarling at your littles for interrupting your quiet time. Just remember that communing with God somehow, anyhow, will be the #1 best way to stay sane.

Edited February 19, 2009 by WTMCassandra

[WTMCassandra]

I highly recommend the blog titled Holy Experience. It's Bro. Lawrence style but very deep and edifying.

 

Edited to make the link live now that I'm home and on my computer.

Edited February 19, 2009 by WTMCassandra

[mommaduck]

We go through seasons in our life and I have to agree that there is NOWHERE in Scripture that states you have to spend so x amount of time each. and. every. day in "quiet time". Yes, it's ideal...no, it's not realistic (and if someone says it is, then they either have very few children, a maid, or live in some dream world where dishes do themselves and children are perfectly behaved at all times and never needy).

 

I do believe that regardless of a set quiet time, that we should be worshiping, speaking to or listening to, and taking joy in Gd throughout out day and activities. THAT is where our focus should be. For some people, they need that "quiet time" to get their minds there. For others, the activity reminds them and draws them there. But we must be careful when we have our minds so mixed up elsewhere, that sometimes we may need to just find a quiet corner, even for 3 minutes, and place our focus back to where it should be.

 

 

 

Funny, I noticed our children line up almost exactly.

Edited February 19, 2009 by mommaduck

[Guest janainaz]

I have no structure in my relationship with God. I don't set quiet times because often even if I HAVE the time, my mind is racing with so much stuff i just can't slow down. Like others said, it's just an ongoing communication and I don't see God as being offended that I have not met Him in "quiet times". However, Jesus did get away from the crowds and went off alone and I think sometimes we need to be aware of our need to do this (when and IF possible). It is something our spirit needs sometimes because life can suck the life out of us if we let it. I believe it's more of a mentality about life, it's brevity and it's meaning.

[Colleen in NS]

I agree w/ everything you posted. And I don't have an answer.

 

Here's where I am right now. Prayer has become natural, like breathing. I wake up praying. I talk to God while I do the dishes. I listen while I vacuum.

 

BUT...this *can* mean that there's less depth. It usually means that I feel guilty. After all, I (personally) didn't do any better before children. And I think of the stories of children growing up seeing their parents praying--do mine see enough of that?

 

When I worry about it, I find that I'm less likely to do anything. When I embrace this season of life, I find that I'm able to be more on-purpose about my sink-time prayers, if that makes sense.

 

Dh had to memorize about 30-40 Bible verses for one of his classes last semester. I told him I'd do it w/ him, & I wrote them out on index cards one night while I was up feeding the baby. I'm planning to hang them in the bathroom, by the sink, etc. to help w/ more time in the word.

 

And you know, it's a funny thing. The more I *do* it, the more I don't mind & then want to.

 

But I also find excuses. You know why I haven't hung my verses? Because I want to illustrate them first, AND I haven't thought of good illustrations. :lol:

 

I also try to think of my whole life as a prayer. I try to remember that whatever we do for the least of these, we do for Christ & offer my family food & clean clothes & diapers w/ that attitude. Well. I remember doing that at least once. ;)

 

But I do think our ideas of quiet times are a) man-made & b) too finite. Otoh, the idea that prevails is a good one & prevails for a reason.

 

In conclusion, I guess I'd say that I embrace the traditional view of quiet times but try not to let those parameters become the object of my worship.

 

Gotta go now. I feel the need to clean something & maybe bake something. Holiness, right? ;) :D

 

Aubrey, I really appreciate everything you wrote here. I just read some of your other posts on a thread to do with Calvinism, and I think you have such a great way of talking about how God interacts in your everyday life no matter how messy it gets. There's a Bible verse that says something like God takes care of those with young to care for, and that's how I picture Him interacting in your life.

 

About the OP - just today in the middle of me slumping down on the couch with a Spanish lesson with ds who has a miserable cold, I threw my hands into the air and spontaneously said, "Oh, God, help me. Help me to do the teaching job that I so desperately want to do for them. Help us not to go insane." or something like that, and my daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, you're crazy!!" with a big grin on her face. I gave up on scheduled quiet times a long time ago, have suffered a lot of guilt for it, and have gotten more comfortable with praying-out-loud-on-the-spot in front of my kids.

 

I don't know, either. This is just the life *I'm* living right now, though.

 

EDIT: Oh, but I sure would welcome a weekend in a quiet retreat center to just think, read, be quiet, and look at God's creation without interruption.

[Colleen in NS]

To me, the last 4 years have been about growing and changing. *I* have found that it is imperative for ME to have a quiet time.

 

The first little while of mothering can be life changing, can't it. It's like you have to find a "new normal," or some new equilibrium or something.

[Lucy in Australia]

I think you have to find what works for you; our lives all have such different rhythms, that you couldn't really say "You have to do this, for this amount of time, at such a time in your day".

 

My own experience is that when I got serious & got up 1/2 hour before everyone else in the house, made my coffee and read my Bible and prayed, the rest of the day was generally smooth sailing. I really noticed that when I took the time to commit the day, my thoughts and my actions to the Lord, He was in charge. This doesn't mean I don't pray during the rest of the day, just that that particular quiet time helps me to prepare for the day & gets my priorities right. And I really notice the difference when I skip this time :thumbdown:

[Colleen]

I have no structure in my relationship with God. I don't set quiet times because often even if I HAVE the time, my mind is racing with so much stuff i just can't slow down. Like others said, it's just an ongoing communication and I don't see God as being offended that I have not met Him in "quiet times". However, Jesus did get away from the crowds and went off alone and I think sometimes we need to be aware of our need to do this (when and IF possible). It is something our spirit needs sometimes because life can suck the life out of us if we let it. I believe it's more of a mentality about life, it's brevity and it's meaning.

 

Well said. When I moved to this highly-churched town, I wondered if I shouldn't try to follow in the footsteps of so many around me. Quiet times in the morning, family devotions, women's Bible studies, etc. I soon discovered it didn't suit me well. It all felt too forced ~ especially the intentional "quiet time". My spiritual life never feels more frustrating then when I'm trying to force myself to intentionally "spend time with God" at this or that given time.

 

So I guess my answer to you, Jo, is a fairly useless, "Do what works for you.":tongue_smilie:

[Susan in KY]

YMMV on my answer because I only have 2 kids, and I have no idea what my life would look like with more! That said, I am a busy person. I have a lot of outside stuff I do—one volunteer position that is like a p/t job, writing the occasional article, plus teaching a class with our hs co-op—and my plate is full.

 

My short answer is that I encourage you to do both!

 

I have found that intentional time alone with God has to be a priority, otherwise things go haywire quickly. I do like Brother Lawrence's ideas and have incorporated many of them into my life, but Jesus himself had to get away alone with God and I thought I should make it a priority, as well.

 

I embarked in January on an experiment to spend an hour a day in prayer. Some days I do, some days I don't, but that's what I aim to do. Sometimes my kids interrupt me. Sometimes they grab their Bibles and sit quietly with me. I just decided to do the best I could at it. Susanna Wesley had a whole slew of kids (19, of whom 10 survived infancy), and she used to throw her apron over her head to get some alone time with God! :D I figured if she could manage it and raise the likes of John and Charles, I could at least give it a whirl.

 

Well, I have reached the two month mark. I've not arrived, but I can report some wonderful results of my imperfect prayer path. I am a better parent for it. I am calmer, I have more of a tendency to practice God's presence in the everyday events precisely because I got alone with him—not always first thing in the morning, mind you, but I try. Things don't go unconfessed more than a day. If there's something I need to deal with, it gets done. I ask for (and receive!) daily direction. It's been good, and I will continue my quest. I think the best part is that the internet is no longer a drain on my time. I do get online, but I'm more circumspect in how much time I am on. It's taken its proper place, at the bottom of my pile of things to do.

 

If you're interested, I have a tool I use called a prayer wheel to help keep me focused. There are 12 different activities of prayer and worship, and I spend between 3 and seven minutes on each. I don't know who came up with it (my pastor gave it to me), but I love it. I posted it on my website, or you can pm me and I can send it as a PDF via email.

 

Hope this helps you a little.

Susan

Edited February 19, 2009 by Susan in KY
I managed to get the picture onto my blog.

[Aubrey]

My own experience is that when I got serious & got up 1/2 hour before everyone else in the house, made my coffee and read my Bible and prayed, the rest of the day was generally smooth sailing. I really noticed that when I took the time to commit the day, my thoughts and my actions to the Lord, He was in charge.

 

See, this time doesn't really exist for me. Dh *has* to wake up first, because we don't really jive well together in the AMs. Plus, I have an infant who likes to nurse around 5:30-6:30ish. And finally, my 8yo wakes up around 4:30AM. At least, as far as anyone knows. That's the earliest dh & I ever get up, & we've found him already on the sofa, reading. Because early on, we insisted that he do quiet things when he wakes up at the crack of (pre) dawn. :lol:

 

And in a small house w/ lots of dc, when one person gets up, everybody usually follows. :D

[Jean in Wisc]

I had a regular quiet time for years prior to having children. It was a wonderful time of quiet first thing in the morning with reading The One Year Bible several years in a row, memorization, journaling, reading good books...

 

Then the children came along and I just could not get out of bed before the children. (They always were there. Always.) So I went to reading my Bible while nursing the baby, leaving devotionals in the bathroom, having my Bible by the edge of my bed so that I could fall asleep on the page when I fell into bed...where ever I could get a bit here and there I left materials available for me in case I was alert enough to want it. :D

 

Then I hit homeschool burnout and that is when I learned about the powers of meditation. I sat in the big green chair next to the window in my bedroom and closed my eyes. I had times of silence, of staring down the lane at green trees, of falling asleep in the middle of the day, and of telling God my innermost innermost. The moments usually did not last long, and one of the kids would find me soon enough, but those little quiet moments helped hold me together.

 

Now my youngest is 16. I'm back to getting a little (little, little) more schedule in my day. I hope to continue to grow that time in the morning again (but since I'm getting up each night to give pain meds and help my post-surgery teen, it may be a while yet). What I have learned through the years is that God is there--wherever you are. Quiet meditation while you throw your apron over your head for 30 seconds is just as real as an hour of Bible study. He understands and he is there. There are lessons to learn in the busy stages of life just as there are in the slower stages. Allow yourself the chance to learn what is being offered today--under whatever circumstances you find yourself. It will not always be this way.

 

Jean

Edited February 19, 2009 by Jean in Wisc

[JudoMom]

Like others, I pray to and give thought to God throughout my day.

 

However, I do think a "quiet time" is beneficial. For me, that means in the morning before I do anything else. Before I open my laptop. Before I empty the dishwasher. Before I exercise. After I make my coffee, but that's all I do.

 

I'f I'm not reading His word, if I don't spend time immersing myself in Him, how will I know him? When I pray and think about God at other times, my mind isn't solely focused on Him. It's focused on God & Math & Phonics & History & Laundry & Dinner & Dishes & Diapers & The Noise & On & On & On.

 

But if I start my day out with Him, an early morning meeting if you will, then I'm slowly getting to know my God.

 

So, to answer your question, I do my best to spend at least 15 minutes with God in the morning. Right now I'm reading Proverbs and the book Respectable Sins. I pray. I worship in the stillness and the quietness.

Edited February 19, 2009 by JudoMom

[Tami]

of God's Word. Line by line, precept by precept. God speaks, instructs, counsels, and reproves us in His Word. Without serious study, it is too easy to go off and make a "god" to suit ourselve and our culture, that is nothing like the God of the Bible.

 

I don't know about "quiet time." I have Bible study, that as meaty and in-depth as I can muster. Discipline is part of this - in a way, it is not different from exercising the body. If I waited until I "felt led" to exercise my body with aerobics, or my spirit with Bible study, I would be waiting a long time, indeed! Having a time set aside for study of God's Word is a spiritual discipline that will renew your mind, keep you from error, encourage your spirit, and strengthen your faith.

 

During the day, I am conscious of God's presence in all I do. There is the Divine Presence there with me, and it is a pleasure and joy to commune with Him. It is so hard to explain, but I do believe that we do everything for God, whether dishes, homeschooling, or meal prep. He is with me whatever I do, but without the Scriptures, I would have no idea of Who He really is, what His purposes are, or what He requires of me. He left us His Word for a reason, and I cannot afford to neglect it.

 

I haven't read the other posts, so not sure where my opinion lands, but, there you go!

[Hillary in KS]

I haven't read *all* the posts, but from the ones I have read it seems like you've gotten some good posts. As other posters have said, you can find time to pray throughout the day. You find ways to weave God into your children's lives throughout the day.

 

However, it is very important not to neglect your time in the Word. We learn to know God through His Word. We hide His Word in our hearts so that we might not sin against Him.

 

It seems we put expectations on our time in the Word: Read the Bible in a tear! Journal and read! Buy this devotional! Buy that study guide! Spend an hour a day!

 

But really, we just need to read it. And pray over it. And meditate on what we've read throughout the day. And allow the Holy Spirit to minister to us.

 

I would suggest to start by reading a small passage. Read it two or three times. Pray over it. Think about it. A lot. Ask God to reveal Himself to you. If you want to write down 2-3 sentences, then do.

 

Tomorrow, do it again with the next small chunk. And then next day.

 

It doesn't have to be a huge chunk of time. Set the clock for 15 minutes earlier, and do it while the house it quiet. Or while everyone is eating breakfast, maybe sneak away.

 

The most important thing is to do it.:001_smile:

[Colleen]

Without serious study, it is too easy to go off and make a "god" to suit ourselve and our culture, that is nothing like the God of the Bible...Discipline is part of this - in a way, it is not different from exercising the body. If I waited until I "felt led" to exercise my body with aerobics, or my spirit with Bible study, I would be waiting a long time, indeed! Having a time set aside for study of God's Word is a spiritual discipline that will renew your mind, keep you from error, encourage your spirit, and strengthen your faith.

 

I certainly can't disagree with the suggestion that studying God's Word is a valuable use of time. What bothers me is your assumption that those who aren't "seriously" studying Bible are in greater danger of misinterpretation and being led astray. To extend your analogy, I don't assume that those who don't run 35 miles a week are in danger of physical deterioration.;)

[Staci in FL]

Battlemaiden-

 

I know EXACTLY which book you are talking about. I read the same section and gave myself permission to abandon my times with God, which included 30 minutes of intensive Bible study and 30 minutes of prayer every morning at 4:00 am. The result? Disaster.

 

Here's the thing: I can pray all. the. live. long. day. And I do. That is how I depend upon God...by praying. But I get FED by spending some serious time reading His word and some good commentaries on the section of the Bible I'm reading.

 

I'm back to getting up at 4:00 am because I came unravelled when I was getting that extra hour of sleep. Those are my thoughts on the matter. Bottom line is that I need that separate time with God. And then, I get to talk to him the whole rest of the live long day!

 

Staci

[Tami]

I would suggest to start by reading a small passage. Read it two or three times. Pray over it. Think about it. A lot.

 

I like this idea. I have also found it helpful to memorize and meditate on portions of Scripture. Write it out and hang it on the frig. Perhaps a whole chapter that you learn line by line. Think about it, pray it, and study what the meaning of it is.

 

Another idea is to utilize an audio bible. You can listen to a particular book or chapter over and over again, and you will get new shades of meaning and understanding. BibleGatway has an audio feature, and I use it all the time.

 

Right now I am memorizing Hebrews 4. Working on memorizing whole chapters is very simple to fit into your day: just work on a verse at a time, and study as you go along.

[battlemaiden]

I think I have further clarification about what I'm looking for/asking/thinking out loud about.....:D

 

I have never had less time to sit quietly before God and I have never needed it more.

 

The need is for, as Jean said, *meditation*. Richard Foster calls it solitude. I have time studying the Bible with the kids, I even get a reasonably good amount of time studying God's word myself. I even get chances to pray- you know...with the family at meals, in the shower, folding laundry, etc....;)

 

But it takes me such an incredibly long time to slow my mind down and quiet my spirit! I think I need to retrain my mind to enter into that rest again.

 

I appreciate everyone's comments so much. It all adds to my thought process. Thanks.

 

Jo

[squirtymomma]

One other option is to add rhythms into your day. Maybe just 15 minutes reading scripture in the morning. 15 minutes journaling before bed to sort out the day, confess and give thanks. Another 15 minutes in the middle of the day to sit outside and get a little quiet... or something like that. These are the kinds of routines I'm working on personally.

[WTMCassandra]

I have never had less time to sit quietly before God and I have never needed it more. . . The need is for, as Jean said, *meditation*. . . But it takes me such an incredibly long time to slow my mind down and quiet my spirit! I think I need to retrain my mind to enter into that rest again.

 

 

May I offer one suggestion? Have you considered the discipline of the individual retreat? My husband tries to give me 2-3 opportunities per year to go on a private retreat 3-4 days in length. It doesn't always happen, but it is *golden* when I get it.

 

First of all, I'm an introverted homeschooler, and like you, I have trouble quieting my spirit for short periods inbetween all of my responsibilities. In addition, being a woman and never being able to leave my place of work to go home--since my home is my workplace :D--I'm always seeing things that I need to do when I try to sit down and have extended periods with the Lord.

 

I try my best at home, but there's something about those individual retreats that feeds me in a special way. This practice is not as common in the Protestant world, but I think it's a valuable one. I have used hotels (not as preferred), Catholic retreat centers (awesome), and other people's houses (housesitting--can be nice).

 

Anyway, it's a thought, and it's a very useful "tool" in my toolbox of ways to keep a close relationship with God. I thought it might be of help to you.

[nova mama]

of God's Word. Line by line, precept by precept. God speaks, instructs, counsels, and reproves us in His Word. Without serious study, it is too easy to go off and make a "god" to suit ourselve and our culture, that is nothing like the God of the Bible.

 

 

And I'll just add from 2 Timothy 3:16-17:

16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

 

 

I'm not saying I study the Bible as deeply or as often as I know I should. I have three kids myself (one in PS) and a part-time job. (I also spend an inordinate amount of time online and watching TV.) I know it's hard to find time when you're dealing with round-the-clock feedings and diaper changes (my youngest is three now). A good friend once suggested trying to do some reading/study while I was nursing. Another friend would just keep the Bible open on the dining table and read whenever she could.

 

No judgment or condemnation from me. I pray you find time somewhere in the day to get into His Word.

[nova mama]

The need is for, as Jean said, *meditation*. Richard Foster calls it solitude. I have time studying the Bible with the kids, I even get a reasonably good amount of time studying God's word myself. I even get chances to pray- you know...with the family at meals, in the shower, folding laundry, etc....;)

 

But it takes me such an incredibly long time to slow my mind down and quiet my spirit! I think I need to retrain my mind to enter into that rest again.

 

It looks like you have Bible study taken care of!

[MamaT]

I try to read my Bible while the dc are doing their Bible study in the mornings. I want them to see me reading it, and know it is important to me.

 

My prayer times have changed throughout the years with the ages of the children. Lately, I seem to wake up about 1:00 or 1:30 wide awake (premenopause my Dr. says) and I take that time to pray. I don't know if it's premenopause or a habit I got into when my second son was in Iraq - I would wake terrified for him and knew the only thing I could do was pray. I pray as I go during the day also and make sure that when the dc have a problem, we ask for wisdom and pray about it.

[Chris in VA]

I'm not very good at any kind of discipline. I view my quiet time with God a little like date night with hubby--we don't really do a weekly date night, tho I can see the benefit. When I realize I'm treating hubby more like a roommate than a lover/husband, then I know I need more time with him. When I spend that time, I always "remember" how much I enjoy him, and long for more time.

Kinda the same with God.

 

I adore the book, Celebration of Discipline. Discipline--something to celebrate. THe concept was totally new to me, because, as I said, being disciplined is not something I embrace willingly--but when I remember that the word is related to disciple, well, that makes all the diff, because I love being Jesus' disciple. I'm all about spending time with friends and teachers. I love Foster's point of saying discipline flows from relationship. I guess that's connected to quiet time--if I never spend deep, quiet time with God, then how can I have a deep relationship? At our church, we have "coffee hour" after the service. Very brief, "how you doin'" conversations. If that were the only conversations I had with these dear friends, I'd be unable to consider them either dear or friends!

Kinda the same with God.

 

Two other little things--

 

I want to give God the best of the day, not the dregs--I don't want to fit him into my busy schedule, find him a slice of time, etc. If he comes first, then there is time for everything else important. But I need to know what that everything else truly is for the day, so sitting at his feet helps me do that. I also don't pay much attention to the clock--even as a homeschooler, I'd rather have a rhythm to my day than a (clock-driven) routine. So sometimes, God can say what he needs to to my listening heart, very quickly--maybe 10 minutes. Sometimes I need a whole bunch of time, like at a retreat, to really hear him. (Sometimes the message is like those automatic air fresheners--sprays at intervals all day cause I'm stinkin' up the place with my own refusal to hear! lol) Getting rid of the clock helped me really be quiet.

 

Enough from me.

[momofkhm]

Take this with a grain of salt - I have less than a half of the children you have. And my dh is home all the time. I believe you have a very different life from mine and as I would love to offer "this is what I do, do it" it just may not work for you.

 

I have my quiet time first thing in the morning. Before I go downstairs, I have my quiet time. It consists of a day-by-day type devotional, prayer, Bible study and then separate Bible reading. At different times in my life, I would have considered any one of those plus prayer time sufficient. There are times I've only prayed, nothing else.

 

The devotional is because it gives me insights I just don't see. And I just love Beth Moore!. Prayer is, well, prayer. Bible study is the one I bought so that the kids and I are all studying the same scripture at the same time for school. I find if I do it during my quiet time, it gets done. Otherwise it doesn't. The Bible reading is just for me. It's a plan from my church.

 

If the book you are talking about is the one I'm thinking of (and it will remain nameless as you wish), I found it unhelpful for me as well. I'm not at the stage where little ones will interrupt me in quiet time. They all know I have quiet time and what it looks like. Actually, I moved where I have quiet time and they haven't quite figured it out yet but I can still look at them and say "I'm having quiet time" and they either leave or sit quietly. I think the author's point is that at some stages you can't expect to have an uninterrupted time with God. At those points, incorporate your children if possible. (Again assuming that we are thinking of the same book.)

 

There is no single answer for everyone. I have a very good friend and spiritual mentor who wouldn't think of having quiet time in the morning. She has hers at night.

 

Now I don't know if I've rambled or helped. I hope I've helped.

[Alice]

I didn't read all the responses as I need to go and start school.

 

For me, I think quiet times are valuable. I get up early and usually have time reading the Bible and right now I'm reading through Calvin's Institutes. When I walk, I usually spend time in prayer then. I think they are important and valuable.

 

BUT...I think too often the idea of a quiet time can become a legalistic thing or even almost an idol in to itself. I've read a lot of Christian literature directed at women in particular or been to conferences where the idea of a quiet time is presented as something that if you aren't doing you should be guilty about. I think so often it turns into something on a checklist instead of something that is really desired. I'm just not sure that's what God intends. I think God wants us to seek Him and spend time with Him but I think God also knows our situations and that at different times in our lives we will have different "quiet times". Right now, getting up early works but it doesn't always. When I had a little nursing baby I would often find my best prayer time was in the middle of the night when I got up to nurse. It wasn't really a traditional quiet time but I was spending time with God.

 

I'm not saying this particularly well...I guess for me bottom line is that I think quiet times/devotions are really helpful and important but I also think that God meets us where we are. I think the danger is in having any particular activity become so important that we forget the reason why we are doing it or make others feel guilty for not doing it.

 

And as an aside, I love Celebration of Discipline or just about anything by Richard Foster.

[6packofun]

Christ is my example in all things and He went off alone to be with the Father sometimes so that's good enough for me. If my relationship with Him IS a priority then I will not let anything be a distraction to me achieving solitude with Him if that's what I need at the moment. Not my husband, even though God put dh in my life; not my children, although God gave them to me...yes, they can be a distraction from getting together with God and so I do try to find time alone. That is how I maintain that spiritual priority in my day many times!

 

I see all too often the "it's a season of life" mommy line as an excuse to make things easier for me, and most of the time easier does not mean better or more fulfilling. Sometimes the harder things IS the best thing. And I believe that many moms struggle with rearranging their lives and priorities around motherhood, raising it to a certain holiness that was never meant to replace the holiness of being a child themselves--a child of God.

 

Do I talk with God all throughout the day? Sure. But I cannot compare the "small talk" with the deeper connection and oneness that I receive when I get alone with my Father and Friend. It's possible to aim for both, even if it doesn't happen every day. :)

[mommaduck]

Christ is my example in all things and He went off alone to be with the Father sometimes so that's good enough for me. If my relationship with Him IS a priority then I will not let anything be a distraction to me achieving solitude with Him if that's what I need at the moment. Not my husband, even though God put dh in my life; not my children, although God gave them to me...yes, they can be a distraction from getting together with God and so I do try to find time alone. That is how I maintain that spiritual priority in my day many times!

 

I see all too often the "it's a season of life" mommy line as an excuse to make things easier for me, and most of the time easier does not mean better or more fulfilling. Sometimes the harder things IS the best thing. And I believe that many moms struggle with rearranging their lives and priorities around motherhood, raising it to a certain holiness that was never meant to replace the holiness of being a child themselves--a child of God.

 

Do I talk with God all throughout the day? Sure. But I cannot compare the "small talk" with the deeper connection and oneness that I receive when I get alone with my Father and Friend. It's possible to aim for both, even if it doesn't happen every day. :)

 

Thanks, glad to hear that I'm a complete and wayward failure. Didn't realise that sitting in one spot was more meaningful than talking with God throughout the day. Guess I should tell my kids that I'll talk with them in the morning for 30 min and the rest of the day is just meaningless "small talk" and they shouldn't feel any deeper connections from it.

[6packofun]

Awww, poor thing, you didn't seem to really read my post. I didn't say "instead of" anywhere, nor did I put a timeframe on that alone and still time. If you really, truly can't get alone with God once in a while (get up 10 minutes earlier? go to bed 10 minutes later?), and you don't mind that, then fabulous. You can find your guilt somewhere else because it shouldn't have been found in what I said. I'm simply saying that *I* think it's something to strive for and so, even though I have 6 children and care for my dh's 85yo grandmother with Alzheimer's, I do TRY. No one's trying to create a spiritual formula here, but I'm not going to apologize for trying to imitate habits that Christ had in whatever way I can.

[Joanne]

Christ is my example in all things and He went off alone to be with the Father sometimes so that's good enough for me. If my relationship with Him IS a priority then I will not let anything be a distraction to me achieving solitude with Him if that's what I need at the moment. Not my husband, even though God put dh in my life; not my children, although God gave them to me...yes, they can be a distraction from getting together with God and so I do try to find time alone. That is how I maintain that spiritual priority in my day many times!

 

I see all too often the "it's a season of life" mommy line as an excuse to make things easier for me, and most of the time easier does not mean better or more fulfilling. Sometimes the harder things IS the best thing. And I believe that many moms struggle with rearranging their lives and priorities around motherhood, raising it to a certain holiness that was never meant to replace the holiness of being a child themselves--a child of God.

 

Do I talk with God all throughout the day? Sure. But I cannot compare the "small talk" with the deeper connection and oneness that I receive when I get alone with my Father and Friend. It's possible to aim for both, even if it doesn't happen every day. :)

 

 

Ok, I know this is snarky. But Jesus was a single man with no children.;) Going off to pray, to retreat, to have a decent "block" of time was much easier.

 

I have literally spent time crying over this issue. The "idol" of quiet time has been so burdonsome. I feel shame, I feel inadequate, I feel unworthy.

 

The *truth* is that I tried to get up early. And my young children had "mommy 'dar" where they would get up as well. Retreating while littles were awake was not workable. Devotional at night was possible, but I was braindead.

 

Excuse? Maybe. Except that when I went to God, literally and figuratively on my knees, the clear answer I got at the time was "Joanne...I would rather have several short minutes throughout the day than the block of time you are waiting for that never happens."

 

Today, my kids are older (and other circumstances are an issue), but I could have regular devotion time. But when they were young, grace abounded and legalism was not necessary.

 

 

And as an aside, I love Celebration of Discipline or just about anything by Richard Foster.

 

Me, too!

Edited February 19, 2009 by Joanne

[mommaduck]

Ok, I know this is snarky. But Jesus was a single man with no children.;) Going off to pray, to retreat, to have a decent "block" of time was much easier.

 

I have literally spent time crying over this issue. The "idol" of quiet time has been so burdonsome. I feel shame, I feel inadequate, I feel unworthy.

 

The *truth* is that I tried to get up early. And my young children had "mommy 'dar" where they would get up as well. Retreating while littles were awake was not workable. Devotional at night was possible, but I was braindead.

 

Excuse? Maybe. Except that when I went to God, literally and figuratively on my knees, the clear answer I got at the time was "Joanne...I would rather have several short minutes throughout the day than the block of time you are waiting for that never happens."

 

Today, my kids are older (and other circumstances are an issue), but I could have regular devotion time. But when they were young, grace abounded and legalism was not necessary.

 

 

 

 

Me, too!

 

Thank you for this, Joanne...you put what I was feeling into words. There was a time where I could set aside an hour or so for study (for me, this is what it takes for me to get into the meat of it...I dig for things). But life for me right now is exactly as you described. I also deal with insomnia, a child that nurses throughout the night still, and I finally did learn that there is no "it has to be this" for it to be right. For me, the most important thing is having my mind on him throughout the day. Some can get that through a set time in the morning, and yes that is wonderful. But I tend to neglect if I'm waiting to be able to accomplish that and I fail in that area because it's unrealistic for my life at this time. However, there are other things that help me refocus, other ways I can meditate on Scripture, prayer and worshiping Gd that can happen throughout my day. That takes effort also, but it works in my circumstances.

[Aubrey]

Ladies, please don't do this. Especially not here. Jesus *is* our example, & he's supposed to be. He was also a single man w/out children.

 

Getting away for a quiet time is a good thing. I think we've all agreed to that. Feeling guilt & condemnation when we can't or don't is a bad thing. We all agree about that, too.

 

If you think it's important to fight for that time everyday, very good. If you're busy caring for the family God has given you, very good. If you think another woman would benefit from the insight that you have, be it making sure you have that time or letting go of that expectation, please, please be gentle. And if someone comes across on the harsh side, try to hear the encouragement in her words instead of judgement.

 

Because above all, I believe that our job is to *help* ea other follow Christ. Offer suggestions for ways we can find more time. Offer to trade babysitting for the first 1/2 hr of ea day. But let us be known by our love for one another, not fighting.

[Colleen in NS]

I have never had less time to sit quietly before God and I have never needed it more.

 

But it takes me such an incredibly long time to slow my mind down and quiet my spirit! I think I need to retrain my mind to enter into that rest again.

 

Didn't your dh just get home from being away for a long time? Any chance you can get away overnight by yourself periodically? (I'd love to be able to do this, like WTMCassandra mentioned!!)

Edited February 19, 2009 by Colleen in NS

[mommaduck]

Aubrey, I'm sorry, but I heard nothing but judgment in this part of her post

I see all too often the "it's a season of life" mommy line as an excuse

Scripture even shows us that there are seasons in our lives. Gd shows us that we can meet with Him throughout, not just in a place off by ourselves, because for some of us "by ourselves" and "quiet" rarely, if ever, exists at this point in our lives. Scripture states that we should always keep a prayerful/worshipful countenance. Yes, it's good to take time every so often to go off by ourselves, but Scripture doesn't even state how often Christ did this, nor does it state that He didn't continue in prayer throughout daily life. There is no checklist that is going to make one more spiritual or more neglectful than the next person. It's more of how do you keep YOUR focus throughout the day? What works for you, in your family, in your circumstances?

 

There are good ideas listed. Meeting with Him, alone in the morning, being one of them. However, we have seen in the modern Christian subculture, ideas taken to the extent of idolatry (you aren't spiritual if you aren't doing xyz this way). That was what bothered me, was the way it was stated. Believe me, one of the best things that happened to me was when I was at one of my most desperate times, like when Christ went to the Garden, and a friend sat me in a chair, handed me a Bible, and took my children outside to play.

 

 

6pack: if you didn't mean it the way it came across to me, then I apologise for taking offense. It is a touchy subject, because I've seen too many women feel defeated before even getting anywhere due to real life circumstances and advice limited to only one way of doing things.

Edited February 19, 2009 by mommaduck

[WTMCassandra]

The *truth* is that I tried to get up early. And my young children had "mommy 'dar" where they would get up as well. Retreating while littles were awake was not workable. Devotional at night was possible, but I was braindead.

 

Excuse? Maybe. Except that when I went to God, literally and figuratively on my knees, the clear answer I got at the time was "Joanne...I would rather have several short minutes throughout the day than the block of time you are waiting for that never happens."

 

Today, my kids are older (and other circumstances are an issue), but I could have regular devotion time. But when they were young, grace abounded and legalism was not necessary.

 

I believe this is the spirit in which the nameless book ; ) was trying to tell diligent Moms with many young children not to beat themselves up over this issue.

[mommaduck]

Would someone PM me the name of the book?

[Colleen]

I have never had less time to sit quietly before God and I have never needed it more. The need is for, as Jean said, *meditation*. Richard Foster calls it solitude. I have time studying the Bible with the kids, I even get a reasonably good amount of time studying God's word myself. I even get chances to pray- you know...with the family at meals, in the shower, folding laundry, etc....;)

 

But it takes me such an incredibly long time to slow my mind down and quiet my spirit! I think I need to retrain my mind to enter into that rest again.

 

Gotcha. What you're getting at is kinda related to something Amy loves Bud posted the other day: As life gets busier (read: children and more children!;)), as we're pulled in multiple directions at once, as "multi-tasking" becomes our norm ~ our ability to focus on any one single thing may decrease. We may find it difficult to just settle. To just...be. And that "just...be" is often what's missing from our spiritual lives. We might hear wonderful, expositional preaching; we might study His word; we may have devotions with our families; perhaps we pray at specific times or in a "pray as you go" approach. All of these things are well and good.

 

But.

 

None of the aforementioned satisfies a desire for true, meditative rest. A time of solitude, of quiet, during which we can genuinely empty ourselves and allow the Peace that passes all understanding to permeate our hearts, minds, and souls.

 

I understand you. And I am there with you. I can't find that kind of rest, and the accompanying spiritual nourishment, at home in the midst of this thing called Life. Which is not to say all is noise and chaos. But rare are the times of true quiet in the mornings on a farm. Seldom are the moments, even late at night (like now), when I'm not keenly aware of an undone task.

 

I most often find the solitude of which you speak when I am breathing in the natural world. On a long trail run, overlooking the islands. Sitting on a chairlift, being transported up the side of a snowy mountain. Hiking that same mountain in late summer, amidst alpine meadows. Walking along the river that borders our farm. These are the times, the places, when my mind and spirit are most at ease. When the Word I've been hearing and reading, the prayers I've been so fitfully offering, the lessons I've been learning (or not) and teaching ~ when it all comes to fruition.

 

Best to you, friend, as you seek out those moments of rest.

[Colleen in NS]

 

Gotcha. What you're getting at is kinda related to something Amy loves Bud posted the other day: As life gets busier (read: children and more children!;)), as we're pulled in multiple directions at once, as "multi-tasking" becomes our norm ~ our ability to focus on any one single thing may decrease. We may find it difficult to just settle. To just...be. And that "just...be" is often what's missing from our spiritual lives. We might hear wonderful, expositional preaching; we might study His word; we may have devotions with our families; perhaps we pray at specific times or in a "pray as you go" approach. All of these things are well and good.

 

But.

 

None of the aforementioned satisfies a desire for true, meditative rest. A time of solitude, of quiet, during which we can genuinely empty ourselves and allow the Peace that passes all understanding to permeate our hearts, minds, and souls.

 

I understand you. And I am there with you. I can't find that kind of rest, and the accompanying spiritual nourishment, at home in the midst of this thing called Life. Which is not to say all is noise and chaos. But rare are the times of true quiet in the mornings on a farm. Seldom are the moments, even late at night (like now), when I'm not keenly aware of an undone task.

 

I most often find the solitude of which you speak when I am breathing in the natural world. On a long trail run, overlooking the islands. Sitting on a chairlift, being transported up the side of a snowy mountain. Hiking that same mountain in late summer, amidst alpine meadows. Walking along the river that borders our farm. These are the times, the places, when my mind and spirit are most at ease. When the Word I've been hearing and reading, the prayers I've been so fitfully offering, the lessons I've been learning (or not) and teaching ~ when it all comes to fruition.

 

Best to you, friend, as you seek out those moments of rest.

 

That was so refreshing to read. Thank you. This is the kind of stuff I miss, too.

[WTMCassandra]

 

Gotcha. What you're getting at is kinda related to something Amy loves Bud posted the other day: As life gets busier (read: children and more children!;)), as we're pulled in multiple directions at once, as "multi-tasking" becomes our norm ~ our ability to focus on any one single thing may decrease. We may find it difficult to just settle. To just...be. And that "just...be" is often what's missing from our spiritual lives. We might hear wonderful, expositional preaching; we might study His word; we may have devotions with our families; perhaps we pray at specific times or in a "pray as you go" approach. All of these things are well and good.

 

But.

 

None of the aforementioned satisfies a desire for true, meditative rest. A time of solitude, of quiet, during which we can genuinely empty ourselves and allow the Peace that passes all understanding to permeate our hearts, minds, and souls.

 

I understand you. And I am there with you. I can't find that kind of rest, and the accompanying spiritual nourishment, at home in the midst of this thing called Life. Which is not to say all is noise and chaos. But rare are the times of true quiet in the mornings on a farm. Seldom are the moments, even late at night (like now), when I'm not keenly aware of an undone task.

 

I most often find the solitude of which you speak when I am breathing in the natural world. On a long trail run, overlooking the islands. Sitting on a chairlift, being transported up the side of a snowy mountain. Hiking that same mountain in late summer, amidst alpine meadows. Walking along the river that borders our farm. These are the times, the places, when my mind and spirit are most at ease. When the Word I've been hearing and reading, the prayers I've been so fitfully offering, the lessons I've been learning (or not) and teaching ~ when it all comes to fruition.

 

Best to you, friend, as you seek out those moments of rest.

 

This is wonderful, Colleen. You're right, being out in nature really helps me "settle." Sometimes I take my Bible and go to a nearby park and sit under a big tree near the river and just "be" for a couple of hours.

[Johanna]

Would someone PM me the name of the book?

 

me too! :-)

[Lizzie in Ma]

I have always tried to have a quiet time, before anyone else gets up, that is mine. It has worked some years, not others, the minute by minute plan should have it's own dispensation for Mom's. :)

For devotions, prayer, journaling and when they were young it wasn't too hard. Then email and the email prayer chain (which I run) and my blog entered the mix and time got shorter. Now I am overweight and am trying to work out in the morning too and now there just never seems to be enough time.

 

I am trying to stay away from the computer now (I agree Facebook is evil :D) and discipline myself for the most important things.

 

I do think there is value in the "mom's prayers" sent up during the day as needed. I think to bring our selves before God in the midst of our daily tasks is sometimes the only way we are able to commune with Him. And I think quiet time any time we are able is also both rejuvenating and pleasing to the Father. He knows your heart Jo and knows you yearn for that time when it is more possible to spend quiet time with Him.

 

I admire you a great deal, I think you have a lot of blessings on your plate and I hope you find a balance that works for you. I know how hard it is and most likely we will be trying to find that balance many times over in our lives.

[LNC]

I haven't read all of the other replies, so this is probably similar. I know the book you mentioned. I appreciated what she shared. I have time with God every day - prayer and bible study. Yet, my times with God are never alone or quiet. I don't have a very large family, but I have special needs children. I wake up in the night with them, watch over them, and then wake up early with my son with mild mr and autism. I read and pray while he watches dvr'd Little Bear or Franklin. I get up several times to get his oatmeal & crackers, care for my older son's medical needs, help him go potty or whatever.

 

I used to have visions of a lifetime of waking up hours before my family. I would sit in a lovely room reading/praying with a hot drink in a china cup. Um, no! But, I have a lifetime of fellowship with a faithful God who draws so near to me as I draw near to Him. I think that is the point. I call my times with the Lord, noisy times. It's kind of a joke, but if I waited for those totally quiet and peaceful moments to read the Bible/pray - I would be waiting a long time!!