Guest Katia Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 In one week, I and my dd have been the recipient of, in my perception, rudeness involving texting and Facebook. First, my dd invited one of her friends along with her mom to go with dd and I to a concert. This was a very special outing. Great performance. Well, on the hour drive there we were all having good conversations (adult to adult and kid to kid). However, the weather turned nasty while we were enjoying the performance and the drive home was dicey. I was driving but managed to remain calm and tried to keep the conversation flowing....but the other mom sat there right beside me and spent the hour texting with her dh and ds. To me, it could not have been more rude than if she had just put the phone to her ear and talked to them while ignoring me. And she was fine with this. Obviously saw no problem. Then, during our Wednesday night church youth meeting, one girl brought her laptop and turned on Facebook and stayed glued to it the entire hour. She and my dd are friends, and they are the the only girls in this group....so dd kept trying to visit with and engage her....but she was so wrapped up in Facebook that dd was wondering why she even bothered to come. These are people that I would have never thought would do something like this. But, they seem to think it is socially acceptable behavior. Is it, and perhaps I was not sent the memo? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 In one week, I and my dd have been the recipient of, in my perception, rudeness involving texting and Facebook...These are people that I would have never thought would do something like this. But, they seem to think it is socially acceptable behavior. Is it, and perhaps I was not sent the memo? It's totally unacceptable and you're the sane one for recognizing that. I think what's happening is that we're getting ahead of ourselves, technologically. So much is happening, so quickly, and many are hell-bent on embracing the latest fads with no regard to the cost-benefit analysis. Right along with that is the lack of social grace that some of these people ~ of all ages, in all places ~ display. And no one is telling them that hey, their addictive behaviors actually aren't kosher. Sad and scary all at once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 I found it interesting that that sort of texting behaviour is perfectly acceptable in Deaf culture, but not hearing culture. I do think that might be changing though. I think both the scenarios you described were impolite. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oak Knoll Mom Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 People who text while we're having a conversations drives me batty. Just last week I stopped talking mid-sentence so my friend could finish texting and she looked at me like I was crazy. Apparently she feels she can text and have an engaging conversation with me at the same time. So rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Then, during our Wednesday night church youth meeting, one girl brought her laptop and turned on Facebook and stayed glued to it the entire hour. She and my dd are friends, and they are the the only girls in this group....so dd kept trying to visit with and engage her....but she was so wrapped up in Facebook that dd was wondering why she even bothered to come. These are people that I would have never thought would do something like this. But, they seem to think it is socially acceptable behavior. Is it, and perhaps I was not sent the memo? Why come to a church meeting, where the purpose is to engage socially with those present, and bring along a laptop to engage socially with people elsewhere, while ignoring present company? If I were the youth leader, I would have a general request that laptops and other such devices not be brought, and cell phones not used during the event. (Except, of course, for urgent matters) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 at dd's youth group, cell phones are not allowed to be used (no-one has ever dared to bring a laptop lol). Also, when they go on retreats, no ipods, cell phones, etc. Except if parents , like me, request that their child has their cell phone in case of emergency. But then, the youth leader said that the cell phone has to be OFF at all times or he will keep it. But like I said, even at their weekly meetings they are not allowed to use their cell phones, until after the meeting is over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Maybe the other mom was trying (in a clumsy fashion) to let you concentrate on driving rather than having to converse with her since the conditions were difficult? Or she could just have been rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 No you've not missed a memo. If I recall correctly, it is also considered rude to place a social phone call on that archaic piece of technology, the home telephone, while interacting with people who are present. Choosing to interact with a device while ignoring the people you're with is rude. I found it interesting that that sort of texting behaviour is perfectly acceptable in Deaf culture, but not hearing culture. I do think that might be changing though. That is interesting. It seems that, in a culture where the primary mode of interpersonal communication is visual, that would be hugely rude, like turning away from someone while they're signing. On the other hand, outside of Deaf culture (or Maffia movies), it is generally considered poor form to refer to people using their most prominent physical feature, so... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 It is very inconsiderate to text while in the social company of others. However it is considered a cultural norm, which means that it will continue to happen despite the antisocial behavior it exhibits. Ironic to ignore person you accompany in order to socialize with friend via phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Text of make a phone call in the middle of conversation with me and I will tell you that you are being rude, I love fb but I don't do it when I have company. A lot of people don't even realize they are doing it or that others think it rude. I have found that when I point it out most people put away their phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 Thanks for the support gals. I was thinking there was something really wrong with my perception of 'rude'...and dd was feeling the same way. When I lead our youth group, I watch as all turn off their cell phones, etc. before we begin. However, this semester, the other girl's mom is directing the youth and she just let her dd keep her laptop on! If this continues to be the norm, I'm sure my dd will stop going to youth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayfromcleveland Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 People are increasingly living in their own little virtual worlds. Ironically, they call this "social media," but it does is make people more anti-social than ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhM Posted January 23, 2009 Share Posted January 23, 2009 We had to make a rule in girl scouts - be with who you're with. That is, if you're with your girl scout troop, you're not going to be messaging someone else. If you'd prefer to message someone else, stay home and message to your heart's content! I've shared this story to make the point: The Three Questions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 I remember this debate when one would have company and turn the TV on. :lol: I guess I'm dating myself now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Starr! That's funny! I'm always offended when I go to my in-laws and they won't turn off the (blaring because they're hard of hearing) tv or radio! I guess this debate has been going on longer than we realized... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Choosing to interact with a device while ignoring the people you're with is rude. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 That is interesting. It seems that, in a culture where the primary mode of interpersonal communication is visual, that would be hugely rude, like turning away from someone while they're signing. You'd think so, wouldn't you. From what I can tell, they're very big on keeping in touch, and because they *are* in touch with you because you are right there, you drop down the priority list. I still think it's rude, especially because you can't "listen" and text at the same time which hearing people can. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 No you've not missed a memo. If I recall correctly, it is also considered rude to place a social phone call on that archaic piece of technology, the home telephone, while interacting with people who are present. Choosing to interact with a device while ignoring the people you're with is rude. I have friends who do this repeatedly. Makes me think it is more about the person and less about the technology. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 I remember this debate when one would have company and turn the TV on. :lol: I guess I'm dating myself now! See, I still think that's really rude. And with the advent of cell phones and laptops, these same people are no longer limited to being rude at home. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 I think it's sad that this is where we're headed. I have a good friend that surfs the web while she's talking to me on the phone. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted January 24, 2009 Share Posted January 24, 2009 Whether it's TV, a cell phone, laptop, or whatever, it's rude to ignore someone who's speaking to you. Especially when you sought out their "company". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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