cougarmom4 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Hi there, everyone. I am new--well, I've been lurking here and gathering a lot of great ideas from you these past few months and now I need to come out and ask for your help! I've been a bit hesitant to post as I'm not an official homeschooler and to some that may be an issue. My dh and I are wrestling with the decision to take the plunge and bring our ds11 home to school for the rest of the school year...and, hopefully, beyond. I have always been a homeschooler-at-heart and I get more excited about it the more I research & plan, while Dh is less enthusiastic...not about homeschooling itself, but mostly because ds11 has mixed feelings on the issue and we are struggling to know if this is the right thing for us at this time. At times ds has been excited about being homeschooled (we've talked of it for quite some time) and sees all of the benefits and agrees it will be a good thing. But, on the other hand, he is just so sad to miss out on the 'fun' side of school. He's sad about leaving his class at school and not being able to play football with his buddies at recess. He's sad to miss out on orchestra, and the Hershey track meet, and field trips. None of these issues are necessarily the most important factor in our educational decision-making process, however, I realize these are real feelings for him. And I'm not sure how to help him through these feelings. And so, I'm wondering how those of you who have BTDT have handled this? Do you have any suggestions for me? My dh wants us to do a trial week of homeschooling. Before officially withdrawing ds from our charter school, taking him out of school for the week and doing homeschool as I've planned out for us. Did any of you do anything similar? What was your experience? What are some ways you have helped your dh grow in understanding about homeschooling? Thanks for any suggestions... Diana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Hi there, everyone. I am new--well, I've been lurking here and gathering a lot of great ideas from you these past few months and now I need to come out and ask for your help! I've been a bit hesitant to post as I'm not an official homeschooler and to some that may be an issue. My dh wants us to do a trial week of homeschooling. Before officially withdrawing ds from our charter school, taking him out of school for the week and doing homeschool as I've planned out for us. Did any of you do anything similar? What was your experience? What are some ways you have helped your dh grow in understanding about homeschooling? Thanks for any suggestions... Diana I don't really think you can evaluate much after a single week. I took my son out of public school after 5th grade. We've been homeschooling until he just graduated from high school this past December. I am glad we did it and I have never regretted it. I would at least take one whole school year. If it turns out to be a disaster for you all, he can easily return to school. If you both love it, continue. I tested every year to know that we were on track and dh took these tests as evidence that we were not just playing all day. Dh also helped out with science now and then. Perhaps you can get your dh involved if he could teach a subject he likes and knows well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 (edited) I pulled my oldest daughter out of middle school at 12. It was a great decision for all of us. Middle school is really fun. I thought so anyway, and my dd says that she's so glad that she was home for those two years. Do your reasons for homeschooling preclude continued participation in orchestra and track? Some school districts allow homeschoolers to participate in extra-curricular activities or even take a class at the school (if orchestra is a class subject instead of extracurricular). My dd struggled with the social aspect of being homeschooled, so we made a firm commitment to supporting the friendships she's already made. That helped with her main concern. I'm not sure a trial week is long enough to give you a sense of what homeschooling will really be like. IMO, a week is just not enough time to get a sense of the huge differences between learning at home and learning in a group environment. What has sold, and continues to sell, my dh on the idea of homeschooling is that the entire education is individualized. Not just for the academic piece, but individualized for learning style, family style, interests, needs, flexibility. We adjusted and adjusted and adjusted again as we felt our way through the first months of homeschooling. Would your dh (and ds) be willing to consider the rest of this school year as a trial period? That would give your ds some time to adjust to a different pace of learning and for the two of you to get to know one another's teaching and learning styles. Cat Edited January 7, 2009 by myfunnybunch error Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cougarmom4 Posted January 7, 2009 Author Share Posted January 7, 2009 That's exactly how I felt about the trial week idea...that's not enough time to make it work! The point of adjusting, adjusting, and adjusting some more is well taken...I can see that discovering our homeschooling way would be a process. I think Dh's idea was mostly so that *I* would see what it was going to take to teach and do all the other mom stuff I do...which is most certainly going to bring many changes. Maybe he thinks I'd give up too easily! I need to check with our school to see if we can continue orchestra and track; although at this point I'm a little afraid to let them know I'm even considering leaving. (If we lose our 'spot' at this school, the process to get back in is quite lengthy). I appreciate the comments... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamommy Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 We pulled our children home when they were in 6th, 4th, and K from public school. It was difficult for my dh who is a p/s teacher by profession. Our older girls were apprehensive at first for many of the reasons you described. They were nervous about losing social time as well as missing out on some extra-curriculars. I think that finding an opportunity for them to continue with some of those activities would be important. You can check with your local school district and see what their policy is. One our private schools locally will also allow homeschoolers to join their various art and music programs for a pretty reasonable fee. If you're in an area with lots of homeschoolers there are probably many opportunities locally. In our case I had no idea how much was available until I 'plugged in'. Perhaps getting in touch with some local veterans in your area would give you an idea of what might be available. I agree with others who said that a trial week would not be very helpful. When we pulled out we committed to a year. It took a whole semester or so to really find our stride and truly get acclimated to our new lifestyle. I can understand how potentially losing a charter school spot could up the ante a bit. Good luck with your decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Have you talked to your school district to find out what the policy is about homeschoolers participating in sports (you mentioned track) and orchestra? We live in PA and I know lots of families whose kids homeschool but participate in such activities. Perhaps this might be an option for you? Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Hi Diana, A couple things. First, it is natural to miss something about a prior experience no matter what it is. There is almost always something good about even horrendous things. And it sounds as if ds's school isn't just horrendous so of course he'll miss some things. I think I'd approach that as "natural." Second, most things kids like in school are an option from home in some way. There are often homeschool co-ops for cool science experiements with other kids, field trips to neat places, music options, etc. If something is important to him and not available, it may be possible to start something, replace it with something else, or even use a public or private school. Third, there is no way that you will even get a taste of homeschooling in a week or even a couple months. It takes MUCH longer than that to figure the situation out. There will be great things this coming semester, but there will be plenty you feel you need to tweak also. It takes time for it all to come together, for your style choices to be ironed out, for curriculum options to be worked on, for a different kind of discipline, etc. This group (on this and the other WTM boards) is wonderful and we'll help you brainstorm and figure as you engage us to. We'll gladly help. But please understand it will take a little time :) Hope you join us soon :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 We pulled our children out last year, after Thanksgiving. They were in 5th, 4th, and three 3rd graders. Children were apprehensive, at best, about leaving school--all for social reasons. We highlighted the positive side of hs, allowed them to sleep in (8-ish) for awhile. The extra sleep was a big selling point for the 5th grader. :) Plan a couple great field trips for the spring. Make sure DS can still play football, but maybe do it after school. Maybe arrange a pick-up game in the park? Four of my five kiddos do not want to return to ps. They enjoy the perks of learning more info, typically a shorter day, and can sleep a bit later than they would otherwise (7-ish). The one who would like to return prefers to be contrary to her siblings. LOL If they wanted to return, she'd request to stay home. :tongue_smilie: It's been a wonderful experience thus far. Don't know how long we'll continue. Taking it a semester at a time. Good luck with your decision. You'll find the right answer for your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 My children are in a homeschool orchestra. There are all kinds of organized sports teams. A friend's DD participated in a rigorous track program. These teams are able to compete against local private schools and do come to the attention of college recruiters. (just saying that to let you know that they are serious) If your public schools do not allow your homeschooler to participate in sports/orchestra (TX does not), check with your local private schools and see if they would allow your DS to participate with them. My DD misses the social aspect of school, but I have made a concerted effort this year to get her connected with friends and that has made a big difference in her attitude. Oh, and a week is not nearly enough. I would give it at least a year. HTH! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pqr Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Concur with all above. A week is nowhere near long enough. We were in an odd position in that the school was so bad that we quite simply did not have a choice. Even so a year is about the minimum that you would need to make a fully informed decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 :iagree: Outside of a really bad schooling situation, though, I would be hesitant to pull him out mid-year. There is a certain period of adjustment that every kids will go through, no matter what their school experience has been; his experience is that, when not in school, he is on vacation and he will need time to get past that mental hump. If it were me, I would start doing some "after-schooling" in the spring, then ramp up and continue through the summer. Then, you can evaluate whether you're on the track you'd like to be on, whether you need tweaking or going back to school in the fall is best. Really, only you can decide what is best for you. I know that's not so helpful, but it's true. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 We pulled our dds ages 11 and 8 mid-October of this year. My dd 11 was NOT happy with the decision because she's a very social person. However, after a month or so, she really likes being homeschooled. She's found that she can STILL see her friends (the ones that mattered anyway) she can still volunteer at the school's raptor center, and she can move at her own pace with schoolwork without all the unnecessary fluff. There are tons of 'social' options out there for homeschoolers. Even in our rural area we've been able to locate so many things to do, it makes it hard to choose. I agree though that a week is not nearly enough for a trail run. We've been at it for several months now, and I feel like we are just now getting settled enough to get an idea of what it's really like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I hs my 3 dc, but more importantly, I was hsed on and off growing up. I've gone to public,and private school also. I am an only child. I can tell you that I never lacked for social and fun things to do while hsing. These were some of best times of my life. As long as you as the parent make the effort to look for, and make opportunities (most schools do allow hsers to participate in extra curricular activities; plus there are even more things that he can be involved in because his schedule will be so flexible) there should be no problems in this area. I guess what I'm saying is, if the social thing is your biggest worry, go for it. Start off with being the home that welcomes all of his friends providing lots of snacks, and fun things to do :). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 A week is not enough time for an accurate evaluation. We pulled our kids out right before the new school year. We took the summer to make the decision. We did not do any heavy learning over the summer but we talked about homeschooling and they participated in the Hogwarts Correspondence School so that I could get a feel for if I would be a good teacher for my children. Over the summer we went to some local homeschool events so we could meet other homeschoolers. So far, the decision to homeschool has been one of the best decisions we made. At first they did have a little seeing my friends all the time withdrawl but they soon realized that they see their school friends after school and on weekends. The only thing that really changed was they no longer had to wait for the rest of the class, they did not have to do busy work, and their were no more bullies during the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 I throw in my vote with everyone else: a week is waaay too little time to make any kind of judgment. I'd say a good six months is needed to make that kind of decision. The first few months can be rough while you and ds get your feet wet and make all the (sometimes major) changes that will have to be made to accomodate educating a child at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 :iagree: Outside of a really bad schooling situation, though, I would be hesitant to pull him out mid-year. There is a certain period of adjustment that every kids will go through, no matter what their school experience has been; his experience is that, when not in school, he is on vacation and he will need time to get past that mental hump. If it were me, I would start doing some "after-schooling" in the spring, then ramp up and continue through the summer. Then, you can evaluate whether you're on the track you'd like to be on, whether you need tweaking or going back to school in the fall is best. Really, only you can decide what is best for you. I know that's not so helpful, but it's true. It sounds like you want to homeschool, but are generally happy with your current situation, so I'd wait until the fall while you get things lined up both socially and emotionally. Undertaking this is not something that you just start one day. I'd start checking out local homeschool groups and other opportunities. I'd have it all laid out and work to get your DH more supportive if you can. Doing some afterschooling and starting a few things this summer will allow you an easy trial that may win him over, but I'd also re-enroll in school for the fall if your DH feels better about that as a backup. My DH has always been supportive, but he wants to know that I'm organized and that all the pieces are in place on an ongoing basis. Otherwise he leaves the details to me ;). You also need to be prepared for a change in your relationship with your child. Being a mom and being a mom/teacher are slightly different. If you cannot teach and motivate your child academically, homeschooling will not go well. The transition to that frankly may take months, which is something that your family needs to be prepared for as well. We have always homeschooled, but I have one child that was difficult in the early grades to the point that DH sometimes came home at lunch to straighten things out. Now that child is very self-motivated and does outstanding work, but it took several years to get to that point. I'll note too that neither of my children enjoy school, but they know that it's expected of them, so they deal with it. That has taken awhile to work out too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBH Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 We pulled our dc out in January of 2002. It was the best decision we could make concerning their education and well-being. While waiting for the curriculum to arrive, I spent a month reading to them. It gave us a chance to bond as we discovered great books together. It took 6 months before my dh and other relatives noticed the blessings of homeschooling. Of course dc were upset at first concerning the socialization factor, but now everyone in our household agrees that homeschooling is the right choice for us. I know you can do it. If I can, so can you. Go for it. You will be amazed at how homeschooling will free your ds to express his creativity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Are you in PA? You should be able to continue with the extracurriculars, so long as they are not given letter grades. HTH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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