Meal responsibilities when hosting family

[Kassia]

11 minutes ago, Malory said:

One common soup to both cultures that I can think of is chicken soup with cut up veggies thrown in. You can serve it with boiled eggs, lime wedges, rice and/or noodles on the side. Just google Indonesian chicken soup to get some ideas on how to season the soup. 

Thank you.  It just figures because I HATE soup.  There was just a thread recently about soup where I posted how much I hate it.  I know most people like it, but I really don't.  I'm vegetarian anyway, so I wouldn't eat chicken soup but it's certainly something I can serve if needed.  

[katilac]

On 5/18/2024 at 2:29 PM, Clarita said:

My honest opinion having and having used both types. The amazing Asian styles ones are amazing and do bring subtle differences to the rice cooking. If you aren't a rice foodie and really aren't going to use the rice cooker for the other functions, you can be pretty happy with a cheap stainless steel rice cooker. They will still be easy to clean and last a long time.

I am dazzled and intrigued by the idea of cooking rice and having it stay warm on the counter for days. 

We eat a lot of rice, but no, I will not be noticing subtle differences. 

I'll look at the stainless steel ones, though. My cheap one cooks up rice fine, but is not that easy to clean. Not terrible, but it does have some black scorch-looking marks on the inside bottom of the actual rice cooker that make me think it's not long for this world. 

[SKL]

Probably going to hell for this, but ... there are also microwave rice cookers.  We've been microwaving our rice for many years now.  Tastes the same to me.

[lauraw4321]

Oof, this is so fraught. 

When my SIL's in-laws came from Oman (they are of Indian origin) to stay with my in-laws for 3 weeks, my in-laws simply turned the kitchen over to them. They are vegetarian, and have dietary restrictions similar to Jainism. There was no meat, eggs, dairy, potatoes, onions, garlic in the main kitchen. 

My in-laws have a second refrigerator, and they did keep some meat in that freezer. This arrangement was discussed and agreed to. It resulted in the guests doing 95% of the cooking. But all were happy with this arrangement because it was simply too difficult otherwise.

My MIL definitely stressed out about this a lot, but this was a great solution. My MIL did enjoy visiting us one day while they were in town and going out for a steak.  

[Clarita]

16 minutes ago, SKL said:

Probably going to hell for this, but ... there are also microwave rice cookers.  We've been microwaving our rice for many years now.  Tastes the same to me.

My Asian mother loved hers. Makes decent rice. I would say the biggest difference is how much rice you can make. (At least my mom's couldn't make 10cups of rice, but more than enough for our family of 3.)

[Arcadia]

52 minutes ago, SKL said:

Probably going to hell for this, but ... there are also microwave rice cookers.  We've been microwaving our rice for many years now.  Tastes the same to me.

DS19 learned to cook rice on the stovetop way before we bought a pressure cooker and use the rice function. Since we tend to stay in hotel rooms with kitchenettes, it makes sense to learn to cook rice on a stovetop. My husband doesn’t like microwave rice and he is the least picky eater. He will still finish all the rice. 

[SKL]

50 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

DS19 learned to cook rice on the stovetop way before we bought a pressure cooker and use the rice function. Since we tend to stay in hotel rooms with kitchenettes, it makes sense to learn to cook rice on a stovetop. My husband doesn’t like microwave rice and he is the least picky eater. He will still finish all the rice. 

I learned cooking in the late 1970s, so rice was cooked on the stove.  But cooking rice perfectly on the stove requires a lot more care than using a rice cooker.  And I'm lazy.  😛  A rice cooker makes sense if a family is having rice relatively often.

Bonus, you can also use a microwave rice cooker to boil veggies and other things.  (I don't remember all the details, but it's supposed to work well.)

[annandatje]

On 5/19/2024 at 8:17 AM, Kassia said:

Thank you.  It just figures because I HATE soup.  There was just a thread recently about soup where I posted how much I hate it.  I know most people like it, but I really don't.  I'm vegetarian anyway, so I wouldn't eat chicken soup but it's certainly something I can serve if needed.  

When I make Thai chicken soup, I do two separate batches in order to have vegetarian option since I do not generally like taste and texture of meat.  For the vegetarian option, I omit the chicken, use vegetable broth instead of chicken broth and add more mushrooms and red bell pepper.  Although we do not add noodles to our Thai chicken or vegetable soups,  you could add zucchini spirals.

[Arcadia]

@Kassia if you are the only vegetarian in the house, you could dish out your portion of the soup before adding chicken drumsticks or fish. I have not had to use chicken (or any meat) stock for my soups.

e.g. of fish soups

https://www.tasteatlas.com/sup-kepala-ikan

https://www.tasteatlas.com/tekwan

https://www.tasteatlas.com/pempek/recipe

[Kassia]

@Arcadia thanks, but I really hate soup.  I won't eat it (unless I have to for some reason) with or without meat!  Dd doesn't like it either and DH wouldn't eat fish soup for sure.  Ds3's new wife is welcome to make it here though and serve it to herself and anyone else who would want it.  

[Arcadia]

@Kassia sorry, forgot you are not into soups. My side of the family use soup as collagen and calcium boosters. I have a few relatives who are vegetarian so got used to serving them their portions before adding any meat to dishes.

[Kassia]

15 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

@Kassia sorry, forgot you are not into soups. My side of the family use soup as collagen and calcium boosters. I have a few relatives who are vegetarian so got used to serving them their portions before adding any meat to dishes.

not a problem at all!  I appreciate your help so much!  

Not only do I dislike soup, but it's also an emotional trigger for me due to childhood trauma.  Just bad all around for me, but I know so many people love it and it is even considered a comfort food.  It's natural that people would suggest it.  🙂 

[73349]

I think it would be good if you can have her make a curry sauce on the side, and together you could make a bunch of vegetarian items to put on the table (and meat/fish separately if it's wanted) and let people take what they want.

So in addition to rice, you might ask your DS if it would be helpful for you to have some shelf-stable ingredients (canned coconut milk or cream? canned jackfruit? canned mango? peanuts? egg noodles? What kind of tea/coffee?). These won't take up any fridge space.

And then once she's here, they/y'all could shop for fresh/frozen items--eggs, mushrooms, leafy greens, sweet potatoes if there's a kind she'd like or would be open to trying, bananas and other fruit, tofu, tomatoes, any meat/fish she'd like to serve on the side.

Anybody else who would like to contribute to dishes should join in the shopping/cooking as well. A table of little dishes should work for everyone.

 

[Kassia]

22 minutes ago, 73349 said:

 

So in addition to rice, you might ask your DS if it would be helpful for you to have some shelf-stable ingredients (canned coconut milk or cream? canned jackfruit? canned mango? peanuts? egg noodles? What kind of tea/coffee?). These won't take up any fridge space.

 

Anybody else who would like to contribute to dishes should join in the shopping/cooking as well. A table of little dishes should work for everyone.

 

I did ask him for a grocery shopping list and also told him to bring anything special in a cooler and we'd reimburse them for any food they bring.  And I made sure to tell him that the kitchen will be available anytime for them to prepare whatever they'd like.  

[kbutton]

On 5/18/2024 at 2:01 AM, Kassia said:

I remember one time she said the food upset her stomach because she wasn't used to eating that kind of food, so it was definitely different than what she was used to at home.

I have a family member that used to get an upset stomach from all new foods, and even water from a new source (in the US) could cause major GI issues.

On 5/20/2024 at 11:24 AM, SKL said:

Probably going to hell for this, but ... there are also microwave rice cookers.  We've been microwaving our rice for many years now.  Tastes the same to me.

Before the latch broke, I had a Pampered Chef microwave rice cooker. It’s the only way I’ve found to reliably make really good short grain brown rice—when done in the microwave cooker, it was my absolute favorite rice. 

[Catwoman]

48 minutes ago, Kassia said:

I did ask him for a grocery shopping list and also told him to bring anything special in a cooler and we'd reimburse them for any food they bring.  And I made sure to tell him that the kitchen will be available anytime for them to prepare whatever they'd like.  

I think that's a good way to handle it, and I also don't think there's anything wrong with telling your son that you're concerned about having enough foods available that his fiancee will like, so he can be prepared to take her out for some meals if he thinks she might want something different from what you're serving. And it's not like you won't be able to change things on the fly if it seems like things aren't working out as planned, because this is only a short visit.

I'm sure it will all turn out fine in the end, and the fiancee might even end up not being picky at all when she's at your house. Don't forget, she's probably going to be trying to make as good an impression on you as she can, so I'll bet she will be a much easier guest than you might be thinking. 

[Kassia]

42 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

 

I'm sure it will all turn out fine in the end, and the fiancee might even end up not being picky at all when she's at your house. Don't forget, she's probably going to be trying to make as good an impression on you as she can, so I'll bet she will be a much easier guest than you might be thinking. 

I hope it doesn't seem like I'm judging her for not being more adventurous in her diet because I'm not at all.  I'm the last person who can comment on someone else's food choices because I am picky myself.  I just want her to feel comfortable and welcomed unconditionally.  

As far as restaurants/food choices - there's not a lot where I live.  I'm in a semi-rural area in the Midwest - right on the border of Amish country.  But we'll figure it all out as time goes by.  

Edited May 22 by Kassia

[Arcadia]

3 minutes ago, Kassia said:

I just want her to feel comfortable and welcome unconditionally.  

Your other children would be there too so don't feel like it all falls on you to make her feel welcome even if its at your home 🙂 I'm sure his siblings would do their part to welcome her into the fold.

[Catwoman]

13 hours ago, Kassia said:

I hope it doesn't seem like I'm judging her for not being more adventurous in her diet because I'm not at all.  I'm the last person who can comment on someone else's food choices because I am picky myself.  I just want her to feel comfortable and welcomed unconditionally.  

As far as restaurants/food choices - there's not a lot where I live.  I'm in a semi-rural area in the Midwest - right on the border of Amish country.  But we'll figure it all out as time goes by.  

I didn’t think you sounded judgmental at all! If you were being judgmental, you wouldn’t have been so concerned about accommodating her and making her feel comfortable.

I wouldn’t worry about the restaurants, either, because if she is going to be in the US for any amount of time, she will have to adapt to the food options here being different from her home country. The selection might not be her first choice, but there’s usually a way to find something to order.

[Alice]

I skimmed through the replies so this has probably already been said in some fashion but what we do to accommodate a variety of food preferences is to do some modification of what we call a "bowl" meal. A starch base like white rice, some kind of protein, some kind of veggies. And then lots of various toppings. You can buy a lot of Asian sauces online or you could ask them to bring favorite toppings/sauces. So then everyone is eating the same meal base (like (rice, chicken, peppers and onions) but with the different toppings it might be Tex-Mex (add salsa, cheese, sour cream) or Chinese (add Hoisin sauce or soy sauce and sesame oil and some sesame seeds) or Greek (add feta and Greek yogurt), etc. 

I also think asking her to cook one night is a great idea. It's a way for her to share her culture...and you all try her food which you may not like. 

This thread also reminds me of when I visited my college boyfriend's house for the first time to meet his parents. The entire weekend we ate lemon things. Lemon blueberry bread. Lemon chicken. Lemon muffins, etc. I thought it was weird but then I discovered that his Mom had asked what I liked to eat and the only thing he said was "lemons". It's true I do like lemons a lot. At the time I thought it was kind of funny but now I have much more sympathy and appreciation for the poor woman who was faced with meeting a girlfriend and trying to feed her for three days with only "lemons" to work with. 

Edited May 23 by Alice

[Kassia]

4 hours ago, Alice said:

I skimmed through the replies so this has probably already been said in some fashion but what we do to accommodate a variety of food preferences is to do some modification of what we call a "bowl" meal. A starch base like white rice, some kind of protein, some kind of veggies. And then lots of various toppings. You can buy a lot of Asian sauces online or you could ask them to bring favorite toppings/sauces. So then everyone is eating the same meal base (like (rice, chicken, peppers and onions) but with the different toppings it might be Tex-Mex (add salsa, cheese, sour cream) or Chinese (add Hoisin sauce or soy sauce and sesame oil and some sesame seeds) or Greek (add feta and Greek yogurt), etc. 

I also think asking her to cook one night is a great idea. It's a way for her to share her culture...and you all try her food which you may not like. 

This thread also reminds me of when I visited my college boyfriend's house for the first time to meet his parents. The entire weekend we ate lemon things. Lemon blueberry bread. Lemon chicken. Lemon muffins, etc. I thought it was weird but then I discovered that his Mom had asked what I liked to eat and the only thing he said was "lemons". It's true I do like lemons a lot. At the time I thought it was kind of funny but now I have much more sympathy and appreciation for the poor woman who was faced with meeting a girlfriend and trying to feed her for three days with only "lemons" to work with. 

Thank you!  This is almost exactly what my kids do for lunches when they are home - always brown rice/peppers and onions/ground turkey and then they add their own seasonings or whatever.  My daughter prefers lentils/chicken/broccoli and she'll cook a bunch at once and eat it for several days.  

LOVE the lemon story.  How sweet of the mom.  And the bf's answer was about the same amount of info as my sons tell me!  Not much to work with! 

Edited May 23 by Kassia