heartlikealion Posted July 28 Author Share Posted July 28 My old neighbor and I spoke about planet fitness. She works there. Their classic membership just went up but there’s no commitment and I want to get back into fitness. She suggested I sign up for the black card membership with zero enrollment fee then downgrade to classic before the billing period. The place I swim doesn’t appear to have a fitness center but I’ll keep going there for the pool. So I signed up by the deadline for the zero enrollment fee and if I decide it’s not worth it I’ll cancel after a month or so. It’s open 24 hours several days a week. I figured since I’m dropping a couple bills it’s not that crazy to pay a gym fee. This is my self care. I didn’t do it before because it wasn’t close enough to my home. Ds got to fish a little today. It got rained out at one point. Dd and I killed time in my library while he did that. He caught three little ones. It was his first time fishing and I was just happy to offer him the experience. The kids finally made it to Smoothie King. I had a buy one get one free coupon. There was some issue with a notary date or something so xh said the paperwork needs redone for ds to take his learner permit test 🤷🏻♀️ Ds got to witness me parallel park last night. That made me feel accomplished 😂😂 9 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 28 Author Share Posted July 28 Got a text today from xh saying they need MY signature too (for permit thing). Seriously?? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 28 Share Posted July 28 37 minutes ago, heartlikealion said: Got a text today from xh saying they need MY signature too (for permit thing). Seriously?? I’m not surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 28 Author Share Posted July 28 17 minutes ago, Scarlett said: I’m not surprised. Xh told me a week or more ago there was an issue. He didn’t say he needed my signature. It took them how long to figure this out? And I’m not the custodial parent so I’m surprised they need my signature, too. Ds is trying to learn Spanish since his new grandma doesn’t speak English. I cannot find my Getting Started With Spanish book. He’s been using Duolingo and I told him he can access Mango Languages with his library card. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 28 Author Share Posted July 28 (edited) There was a small chance I’d get my security deposit back. I forfeited it by breaking the lease but he said if we secured an Aug tenant I could get it. I think he was asking too much and I see the price has dropped some since it was listed. I never expected all of it as there’s a weird crack in a door and I don’t know when/how that happened. Edited July 28 by heartlikealion 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 29 Author Share Posted July 29 The paper needed to be notarized for ds to take his permit test. They didn’t know initially. Then xh thought he needed my signature but read it more closely and it’s only needed if I drive with ds in MS and want to hold some accountability. I said I was fine signing but he didn’t bring the paper form and showed me on the phone screen that divorce will excuse him from needing my signature. 🤦🏻♀️ so whatever. Eventually he’ll go to the bank and get it notarized. Oh and the permit does not grant ds permission to drive outside MS. had my intro therapy session. I’ll meet with her again in 2 weeks. I think she’ll be a good fit (hope so). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw4321 Posted July 29 Share Posted July 29 4 minutes ago, heartlikealion said: The paper needed to be notarized for ds to take his permit test. They didn’t know initially. Then xh thought he needed my signature but read it more closely and it’s only needed if I drive with ds in MS and want to hold some accountability. I said I was fine signing but he didn’t bring the paper form and showed me on the phone screen that divorce will excuse him from needing my signature. 🤦🏻♀️ so whatever. Eventually he’ll go to the bank and get it notarized. Oh and the permit does not grant ds permission to drive outside MS. had my intro therapy session. I’ll meet with her again in 2 weeks. I think she’ll be a good fit (hope so). I'm fairly certain that he can drive in Louisiana with his permit, so long as he follows the requirements of the permit itself. Random google search showed: https://1800lionlaw.com/drive-in-another-state-with-a-learners-permit/ 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted July 30 Share Posted July 30 7 hours ago, lauraw4321 said: I'm fairly certain that he can drive in Louisiana with his permit, so long as he follows the requirements of the permit itself. Random google search showed: https://1800lionlaw.com/drive-in-another-state-with-a-learners-permit/ Yes, I believe you are right. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 30 Author Share Posted July 30 I’m still trying to get the new house in order. Apparently I get dd this weekend. Well at least I don’t have to ask my boss to change my Saturdays. My off Sat lines up with her visit. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted July 31 Author Share Posted July 31 I got a cash advance the other day to pay the mechanic. The other day the bank called me to confirm the amount. They put the wrong amount on my acct. I logged in and it was not corrected. Now about 2 days from the phone call they haven’t reversed that wrong charge but added a new one for the correct amount 🤦🏻♀️ I’ll probably have to go inside the bank to clear this up as half the time you can’t get a local human. As with pretty much every place I’ve lived, I’m seeing roaches. I know I have diatomaceous earth somewhere. Ugh I just want to one day move into a home that is precleaned, doesn’t have the previous tenant’s stuff still in it, and pest free. The last place I moved in, the cabinets looked dirty and I wiped them down before putting dishes inside. When my kitchen isn’t clean I don’t want to cook. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 1 Author Share Posted August 1 I did my best but I don’t feel confident in this shower rod. The top is already wanting to pull itself out of the drywall. I couldn’t find a stud that would work for either side. It’s got anchors but…. As for the thing on the wall, it’s a suction thing with closure. I wish there was a way to screw it in. I’m scared to use it. The shower head/hose might fall. The tile only goes up so far. I should probably add a second shower liner to protect that part of the wall. My friend wants to come over and mow and do laundry today (yeah I thought he said he wasn’t gonna do laundry here after I moved in… ). I will be at work part if not the whole time. I said ok. I was up late last night finishing up with the old home. Too bad we didn’t secure an August tenant. No sec deposit for me. But I’m sure that landlord will leave a good reference if I need it. Yesterday my car did a weird thing. I texted the mechanic and described it and asked if that could be strut-related or not (because I’ll get struts done soon). He said he’d need to see it. I am swamped and can’t easily get the car seen. I hope it doesn’t act up going to pick up dd. Ds doesn’t plan to come. I wonder if he feels disloyal to his dad when he comes if not mandated. Or if he just still dislikes me that much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 11 minutes ago, heartlikealion said: I did my best but I don’t feel confident in this shower rod. The top is already wanting to pull itself out of the drywall. I couldn’t find a stud that would work for either side. It’s got anchors but…. As for the thing on the wall, it’s a suction thing with closure. I wish there was a way to screw it in. I’m scared to use it. The shower head/hose might fall. The tile only goes up so far. I should probably add a second shower liner to protect that part of the wall. My friend wants to come over and mow and do laundry today (yeah I thought he said he wasn’t gonna do laundry here after I moved in… ). I will be at work part if not the whole time. I said ok. I was up late last night finishing up with the old home. Too bad we didn’t secure an August tenant. No sec deposit for me. But I’m sure that landlord will leave a good reference if I need it. Yesterday my car did a weird thing. I texted the mechanic and described it and asked if that could be strut-related or not (because I’ll get struts done soon). He said he’d need to see it. I am swamped and can’t easily get the car seen. I hope it doesn’t act up going to pick up dd. Ds doesn’t plan to come. I wonder if he feels disloyal to his dad when he comes if not mandated. Or if he just still dislikes me that much. I wouldn't over think it with ds. Teens are weird, and moody. He may also be processing the fact that his life is changing yet again because a step grandparent he really doesn't have any connection to is moving him, displacing him, and potentially making his home life upheaved yet again. He knows you love him. It is hard on teens to do the back and forth thing. My nephews withdrew emotionally from BOTH of their parents after the divorce, but as adults developed a close relationship with their mom which was much deserved on her part. They barely tolerate 10 minutes with their dad, and are for the most part estranged, also much deserved by my stupid brother and his evil wife. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 (edited) For the shower rod, you might consider adding a ceiling support on the other side, something like this (you'd need to find the right length and circumference) https://www.amazon.com/Shower-Curtain-Ceiling-Support-Polished/dp/B06XQ5DW58/ref=asc_df_B06XQ5DW58/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693071387701&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=796394264949560955&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9029679&hvtargid=pla-636185321649&psc=1&mcid=17e18dd0d4543b579f0ab197a806dcd5&gad_source=1. I'd be nervous with that set up as well. Edited August 1 by maize 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 1 Share Posted August 1 16 minutes ago, Faith-manor said: I wouldn't over think it with ds. Teens are weird, and moody. He may also be processing the fact that his life is changing yet again because a step grandparent he really doesn't have any connection to is moving him, displacing him, and potentially making his home life upheaved yet again. He knows you love him. It is hard on teens to do the back and forth thing. My nephews withdrew emotionally from BOTH of their parents after the divorce, but as adults developed a close relationship with their mom which was much deserved on her part. They barely tolerate 10 minutes with their dad, and are for the most part estranged, also much deserved by my stupid brother and his evil wife. I agree. Teens are weird. He also may have friends and all and things going on and just not wish to disrupt his normal life. My mantra with teens is don’t overthink, don’t take it personally. He knows who’s dependable and adult. I guarantee it. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 1 Author Share Posted August 1 I originally looked at one shower rod that hung from the ceiling on one side but I felt nervous about installing it and also making so many holes. I definitely won’t hang towels on this thing. I took the shower hose down after the shower so it’s not continuously applying weight to the wall piece. ds, yeah who knows. But he doesn’t actually hang out with anyone local and he and his boyfriend broke up so I don’t think friends impact the visits too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 2 Author Share Posted August 2 (edited) Spoke to the bank and the manager at that branch is out but they will try to address it asap. Not only did they not update the wrong withdrawal amount — they added the right amount to the first withdrawal!! So it says my cc balance is even higher. How stupid. At least it’s not my debit account. a WTM boardie sent me an Amazon gift card… but I can’t pinpoint the username to thank them. If you did this please shoot me a DM. It’s much appreciated! I get dd tonight and the kids returned to school today. I’m hoping she can eat more foods this weekend and isn’t in pain. I’ll see about adding reinforcements to the shower bar. my friend/landlord and I did not run into each other yesterday but he left me extra goodies in the fridge. And he invited me to goth night tonight. I think that man is confused lol I was not planning to go out tonight anyway and told him I’m getting dd. He asked if he could come by Sat and work on the a/c unit (he’s insulating around one of them). I said yes. Last time I saw him he did sword fighting with dd with foam sword/shield props and I had to stop them because dd wasn’t allowed to do any horseplaying as she heals. They were so cute interacting though. Edited August 2 by heartlikealion shower not towel bar 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 3 Author Share Posted August 3 Dd is more or less at 100%. No swimming for a bit but diet-wise able to eat regularly. She’s eating hot food again and is permitted to eat citrus. She told me she ate Doritos the other day (!) so must be all right lol. She said breathing through her nose and smelling is better than before surgery. Dad said her snoring has decreased. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 58 minutes ago, heartlikealion said: Dd is more or less at 100%. No swimming for a bit but diet-wise able to eat regularly. She’s eating hot food again and is permitted to eat citrus. She told me she ate Doritos the other day (!) so must be all right lol. She said breathing through her nose and smelling is better than before surgery. Dad said her snoring has decreased. I hope she continues to see improvement. I can imagine that once that throat completely heals, there will be a huge difference in sleep quality without all of the swelling. My nephew had his tonsils out when he was 8 or 9, and his life improved so much! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 3 Author Share Posted August 3 It’s so dark in my living room. I have a couple floor lamps. Thinking of hanging a couple spider lamps from the beams 😂 They weren’t in stock when I looked yesterday. It’s fine in the day and I open the window shades but at night it’s dark. excuse the disarray as I move in. The dining room is basically Calico Critter city lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 You can get extra-bright bulbs to light up a dark space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 3 Author Share Posted August 3 4 hours ago, maize said: You can get extra-bright bulbs to light up a dark space. There’s no overhead lighting and the lamps don’t take bulbs. They are remote controlled with varying brightness. They are good but I’d like more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 In that situation, I'd be sorely tempted to go with Christmas string lights up around the ceiling perimeter. My ds and his wife did that in their first apartment. Sure, it looks dorm-like, but it also added a ton of ambient light that was needed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 I've used this kind of bulb https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09M6FPFXH/ref=sspa_mw_detail_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9kZXRhaWw In a lamp like this one https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08Z36X6B4/ref=vp_m_vp_m_fuw_pd_pd?_encoding=UTF8&pf_rd_p=d8233622-2cfc-4033-be18-a25cde8f3c28&pf_rd_r=HQS3M7RG927AVD7MT0ER&pd_rd_wg=gtanz&pd_rd_i=B08Z36X6B4&pd_rd_w=gEbkm&content-id=amzn1.sym.d8233622-2cfc-4033-be18-a25cde8f3c28&pd_rd_r=0ab18625-0087-4738-838d-149ba020352c&psc=1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 The bulb I had was more lumens than that, you can get them up to 1000 lumens or more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 1 hour ago, Harriet Vane said: In that situation, I'd be sorely tempted to go with Christmas string lights up around the ceiling perimeter. My ds and his wife did that in their first apartment. Sure, it looks dorm-like, but it also added a ton of ambient light that was needed. I like this idea. For a little more streamlined look, you can get LED strip lights pretty inexpensively on Amazon now. Very easy to put up without damaging the walls because they’re so lightweight. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 4 Author Share Posted August 4 Oooh ok I’ll look more into these light ideas. Lately I’ve been leaving a lamp on all day because when I get home it’s pitch black and I feel sorry for the poor cat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 11 hours ago, Harriet Vane said: In that situation, I'd be sorely tempted to go with Christmas string lights up around the ceiling perimeter. My ds and his wife did that in their first apartment. Sure, it looks dorm-like, but it also added a ton of ambient light that was needed. This. Or another idea is camping lights. We have a couple of strands that are probably 10-12 bulbs per 10ft strand. They make them in all kinds of themes, but the ones that look just like Edison bulbs are quite bright. Warm white LEDS look pretty nice. I think they would be a fun addition to the house. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Mainstays-30-Count-Warm-White-LED-Edison-Bulb-Outdoor-String-Lights-with-Black-Wire/1620307485?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=1798&gclsrc=aw.ds&adid=222222222771620307485_117755028669_12420145346&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=t&wl3=501107745824&wl4=pla-394283752452&wl5=9017148&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=1620307485&veh=sem_LIA&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwzby1BhCQARIsAJ_0t5OSQ4FHJsLaaEQlzO1SjT-qfNqOBHHhUIVIsXy2Lv5oKWMpPFV_ylsaArlWEALw_wcB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 8 Author Share Posted August 8 One of the lights went on sale and I ordered it. Should arrive Monday. A little wall lamp I ordered arrived but I haven’t had time to mount it. I gave myself a challenge. I’m very deadline driven. 100 days of fitness (allowing for rest days). The goal is to hit it around Thanksgiving but if not, then hopefully by end of this year. Today is day 3 and I used the treadmill at the gym. Day 1 I swam laps and day 2 I did the stationary bike at home. I’m debating a warehouse membership… I need to view their gas station prices. The sign up fee right now is reasonable. It’s on my way to/from work, so I’d actually use it. Waiting on quote for car parts to get struts done. Car is riding rough off and on… I don’t know if that’s the only issue or not. I might have to wait til morning to buy car parts after pay check clears. Mechanic would come to my house to work on the car. I’m off Friday. Ds really wants to go to the gym but we can’t bring dd. And planet fitness is free for teens through Aug 31 so I told him to either sign up there and see if my dad will take him sometime (he can’t seem to get a ride with dad or stepmom) or come here and I can drop him off for an hour or so. He actually got out of the car Sun to chat with me when I dropped off dd. I can tell he’s really into exercising right now and that’s something we bond over. (can’t see if this post went through) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 9 Author Share Posted August 9 I’m wondering if I’m a fool at this point for keeping the car but maybe it will be worth it. in 2024 my car has gotten new battery & oil change ($519) March 4 new tires & alignment ($615) July brake pads & front hub bearings (~$500) July today I bought parts and am waiting on labor quote for struts & shocks ($500+) Aug my neighbor pointed out that a couple of my brake lights are out. I went to buy bulbs and the clerk said the one above the trunk requires a kit and assembly. He had no price and I don’t know if that’s something my mechanic does so I just bought the bulb for the lower light that’s out. 🤦🏻♀️ Also my trunk doesn’t work and I keep replacing the duct tape so the part doesn’t dangle. I don’t know what that will cost to fix but it’s low priority. The mechanic will be here soon. I’ll probably have to go back to Firestone after I get the struts and ask them to redo the alignment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted August 9 Share Posted August 9 5 minutes ago, heartlikealion said: I’m wondering if I’m a fool at this point for keeping the car but maybe it will be worth it. in 2024 my car has gotten new battery & oil change ($519) March 4 new tires & alignment ($615) July brake pads & front hub bearings (~$500) July today I bought parts and am waiting on labor quote for struts & shocks ($500+) Aug my neighbor pointed out that a couple of my brake lights are out. I went to buy bulbs and the clerk said the one above the trunk requires a kit and assembly. He had no price and I don’t know if that’s something my mechanic does so I just bought the bulb for the lower light that’s out. 🤦🏻♀️ Also my trunk doesn’t work and I keep replacing the duct tape so the part doesn’t dangle. I don’t know what that will cost to fix but it’s low priority. The mechanic will be here soon. I’ll probably have to go back to Firestone after I get the struts and ask them to redo the alignment. Ouch, that is a lot. Older used cars can be quite the money pit. On the other hand, the cost of newer cars and the insurance for them is also awful. Sorry this is happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 9 Author Share Posted August 9 1 minute ago, Faith-manor said: Ouch, that is a lot. Older used cars can be quite the money pit. On the other hand, the cost of newer cars and the insurance for them is also awful. Sorry this is happening. I debated about buying a used car that works but researching cars overwhelms me. And I’d need the money in one lump sum to purchase. Right now I’ve got essentially 2 maxed out ccs and the Firestone card that I’ve only made one payment on so far. I am trying to pay down these ccs (one has zero interest at the moment) but crap keeps happening. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted August 9 Share Posted August 9 22 minutes ago, heartlikealion said: I debated about buying a used car that works but researching cars overwhelms me. And I’d need the money in one lump sum to purchase. Right now I’ve got essentially 2 maxed out ccs and the Firestone card that I’ve only made one payment on so far. I am trying to pay down these ccs (one has zero interest at the moment) but crap keeps happening. I am so sorry girl. Car situations are the worst. Our oldest son just spent $9000 to repair a truck we sold him a year ago for $8000. Crazy, but he was stuck between a rock and a hard place since he owed so much on it. (He had rolled the balance of another car that broke into the truck loan) his grandmother loaned him the money for repair costs at 1% interest which will save him a lot over time but he is still maxed out every month. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 9 Author Share Posted August 9 At least I don’t have to drive near the state line every weekend since school started. I’ll be more open for sitter agency jobs if they pop up, too. I threw my name in the hat for an out of state sitter job (agency pays travel & accommodations) but I don’t know if I’ll get to do it. I would do it if travel means plane… not my car! lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 9 Author Share Posted August 9 I don’t think the mechanic replaced things for no reason but unfortunately my car sometimes still gets the shakes and we can’t figure out why. I asked him to drive it today but it didn’t do it for him. He doesn’t think the struts should affect my recent alignment but said I can always ask Firestone to check since the alignment should be under warranty. I’m not even sure if it works that way with them. So $825 gone today and my car still isn’t done. Next time he’ll do suspension belt? That was on the needs attention list from Firestone. He said maybe the shaking is a motor issue. My mind went “!?!$$!!!” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted August 9 Share Posted August 9 1 hour ago, heartlikealion said: I don’t think the mechanic replaced things for no reason but unfortunately my car sometimes still gets the shakes and we can’t figure out why. I asked him to drive it today but it didn’t do it for him. When that happened to me, it was a scratch on the drive plate. (I know nothing about mechanics, so that might have been a dumbed down explanation.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 10 Share Posted August 10 5 hours ago, heartlikealion said: I don’t think the mechanic replaced things for no reason but unfortunately my car sometimes still gets the shakes and we can’t figure out why. I asked him to drive it today but it didn’t do it for him. He doesn’t think the struts should affect my recent alignment but said I can always ask Firestone to check since the alignment should be under warranty. I’m not even sure if it works that way with them. So $825 gone today and my car still isn’t done. Next time he’ll do suspension belt? That was on the needs attention list from Firestone. He said maybe the shaking is a motor issue. My mind went “!?!$$!!!” Motor mounts. That’s what happened to our car. The motor mounts were shot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 10 Author Share Posted August 10 47 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said: Motor mounts. That’s what happened to our car. The motor mounts were shot. I just googled the price 😧 Throw the whole vehicle away at this point!! Good grief 😭😭😭 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 10 Author Share Posted August 10 Well there are many possibilities I guess. https://www.crownkia.com/blogs/370/uncategorized/why-is-my-car-shaking/ The mechanic only takes cash and I put part of the parts on the remainder of my cc. Next check goes to rent and possibly the belt issue. I don’t know. I’m getting discouraged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 11 Author Share Posted August 11 The mechanic always shows and leaves behind old car parts. I don’t want to deal with them. Guess I need to see if I can dispose of them next Sat at the place I take glass. Or maybe there’s somewhere else. I signed up for the $25 warehouse membership. The gas is definitely cheaper. I looked at the local prices. I’ll buy certain items there, too. I’m relieved there is so much within a reasonable driving distance. I used to drive 45 min to the nearest running shoe store (when I was in a rural area). Today I tried on new shoes and it didn't eat up my whole afternoon. Shoes + new inserts (brand I’d never tried) which I will purchase soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 13 Author Share Posted August 13 I can’t remember what I said about ds last but he did spend time chatting with me at the last drop off (said he didn’t come because he wanted to attend church with the family… I did not ask). He was very interested in exercising. Recently we discussed the free teen summer pass at Planet fFitness. He seemed to think he couldn’t get his other parents to take him. I told him since it’s valid through Aug 31 I could drop him off (but not workout with him because dd is too young to even stay in the lobby) sometime on the remaining weekends of Aug if he came to town… alternatively he could press his other parents to get him there or possibly I could get my dad to try. Ds chose to sign up today with my local gym. So pretty sure he’s coming this Friday. He knows he can trust me to get him to the gym. I know his other parents work but.. I think it’s sad no one would get him there at all this summer? Did he even ask? I’m not sure but he either got shot down or they would drag their feet I guess. He also has my ex FIL in town but I’m sure he wouldn’t agree to chauffeur. Last time I saw xh school had began and ds still needed something notarized for his dual enrollment classes 🙄 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 3 hours ago, heartlikealion said: I can’t remember what I said about ds last but he did spend time chatting with me at the last drop off (said he didn’t come because he wanted to attend church with the family… I did not ask). He was very interested in exercising. Recently we discussed the free teen summer pass at Planet fFitness. He seemed to think he couldn’t get his other parents to take him. I told him since it’s valid through Aug 31 I could drop him off (but not workout with him because dd is too young to even stay in the lobby) sometime on the remaining weekends of Aug if he came to town… alternatively he could press his other parents to get him there or possibly I could get my dad to try. Ds chose to sign up today with my local gym. So pretty sure he’s coming this Friday. He knows he can trust me to get him to the gym. I know his other parents work but.. I think it’s sad no one would get him there at all this summer? Did he even ask? I’m not sure but he either got shot down or they would drag their feet I guess. He also has my ex FIL in town but I’m sure he wouldn’t agree to chauffeur. Last time I saw xh school had began and ds still needed something notarized for his dual enrollment classes 🙄 You kids ultimately know you are the safe parent, you are the responsible parent, you are the on that cares about their best interests. Time, adulthood, and perspective, and they will get it. My nephews really turned on their mom because of the lies my brother fed them as teens. But now as adult men, they are super close to their mom, and can see how their dad manipulated them. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 1 hour ago, Faith-manor said: You kids ultimately know you are the safe parent, you are the responsible parent, you are the on that cares about their best interests. Time, adulthood, and perspective, and they will get it. My nephews really turned on their mom because of the lies my brother fed them as teens. But now as adult men, they are super close to their mom, and can see how their dad manipulated them. I try to give credit where credit is due and maybe dad has his act together in some ways but I’m confident I’ll get over my hump(s) (financial and stability with homes. I know I’ll have to move again in 6 months to a year) and keep improving and continue to be reliable to the kids. I actually did talk to my dad recently about ds and he said he’s out of town still and with his schedule and ds’ school it would be hard to get him to the gym but he at least was trying to see if he could help. This was before ds signed up at my gym location. I suggested maybe they share dumbbells at my dad’s house sometime. My dad has a whole set. If ds wants to, I’ll take him to the place that does free outdoor activities again (canoeing, kayaking and fishing). 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 I don’t normally do this but I canceled a Dr appt. I was supposed to see a dermatologist today. Another dr scheduled it for me months ago. The particular thing that was bothering me comes & goes and I’ve seen 2 doctors about it. They suggested a dermatologist as both were unable to see or do anything. I prefer a female but maybe I didn’t specify. I just realized last night when I saw the dr’s first name that it was a man. When I was filling out the paperwork I saw the copay for today would be $45. I have a gym membership fee that will come out soon and inevitably I’ll need to fill up my tank again soon (yay I have the warehouse club gas prices now) plus spend at least some on food when the kids come. I canceled in the portal and couldn’t see anything about a cancelation fee. I hope one does not apply. The babysitter agency couldn't update me on that out-of-state job as they are waiting on a client to sign something. I wish they would have at least told me if my name was still in the running. I used the gym yesterday for strength training. I miss doing that. I’ll try to do that 2-3x a week if I can. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 Since I didn’t go to the dr I decided to swim… but I showed up at the wrong time for lap swim and ended up in a water aerobics class 😂 that was nice, though. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 Firestone said the shaking should not be related to alignment. Pulling vs shaking. When I told him I got new brake pads he asked if I got rotors(?) too… I said I don’t think so. He said you typically get those together. I don’t know if the brake pads came with that. They would run a diagnostic for $100 he said even though the last quote was higher. But right now I want to avoid that ugh!! Now I gotta ask my current mechanic about rotors? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 Rotors are a separate thing from brake pads. Rotors are discs attached to the axles of your car. The brake pads are slipped into calipers. When you brake, they push against the rotors, slowing the vehicle. Rotors made of carbon ceramic usually last the lifetime of the vehicle, others usually wear out about every 80,000 miles or so. Depending on how you drive, and if your car is exposed to road salt (or salty marine air), they will wear out faster. Most vehicles have steel rotors. Pads fail faster, so you dont do your rotors every time you do your pads, but you do do your pads every time you do your rotors. Your mechanic would have had his eyes on your rotors when he did your pads. Plus, shaking would only be when you brake. Is the shaking only when the car is moving or does it happen when you are in park also? 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 Fwiw, if it’s not your tires, and it sounds like they are newer, I would be think cv joint or drive shaft before motor mounts. I havent read through all of your car posts, but I wanted to toss that tidbit out there. The definitive sound for a cv joint is shaking while driving and clicking when turning. But, all of that should have been visible when he was doing the brake pads as it is the same general area. We have had to replace motor mounts before…we did them two at a time as we could afford them, but it was in a vehicle with a lot of salt exposure and 150,000 miles on it. Because it was a Honda, I was willing to do it as they drive forever and I already knew well the car’s overall condition. We drove it six more years after that. Honestly, I’d really think about what is necessary as a repair for safe driving (and the ability to brake is key), but I’d really not plan on this car being reliable. I would be cutting every single unnecessary expense to get yourself into a more stable position and keeping your eye on the used car market to get a sense of prices while keeping your fingers crossed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted August 14 Author Share Posted August 14 Last year or earlier this year I got a new cv joint. It’s not doing that stuff. The shaking is random, various speeds and not while braking. I trusted the mechanic to prioritize the car parts… he and his gf are sweet to me. But… I’m not even sure how urgent the last repair was since it wasn’t on the Firestone “address soon” list. But driving around potholes etc I can imagine the struts & shocks were probably warranted. I know accessory belt is on the list but Firestone said that shouldn’t be the shaking culprit. I have 2 maxed out ccs. The Firestone one isn’t but I don’t want to add to it. My Amex is empty - I pay off immediately if I use it since it has high interest. I pay on the ccs as I can… but next check will go to rent, bills (at least one more energy & water bill) and potentially more car. I might postpone car this pay day. The car is breaking me. And the mechanic only takes cash for labor. I don’t do lavish spending, the kids were getting picked up every single weekend in summer so my fuel went up. And groceries. I don’t feel like there’s much I can do except throw money at the debt as I get paid. There’s not much of anything to cut back on. The only new expenses are the gym and therapist and I only did that because my rent went down. I’m comfortable with the gym fee. The therapist takes a copay. The sam’s club membership was a one time fee to cover year. I don’t have any streaming services. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinRTX Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 I once had a problem with my car shaking as I drove it. I had just had new tires put on it. We next replaced ball bearings (I think but it was about 27 years ago). The shaking continued. It turns out the tires were not balanced properly when they were put on. I would have whoever replaced the tires check the balance. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted August 14 Share Posted August 14 (edited) Please don't quote, as I'll edit out my personal stuff in a minute... --- I'm talking about that level of discipline in spending because I think you're coming up on a major crisis re: your car and you are already tapped out financially. I wouldn't be doing shocks and struts this pay check as long as you're still able to maintain control of the car when it shakes. The accessory belt--which they refer here to as a serpentine belt--is a must do if it's showing signs of wear. The serpentine belt controls your water pump, alternator, and a bunch of other stuff. If your water pump isn't working, that's goodbye car as it will overheat and take out the engine. It should be a cheap fix--$100ish for the belt, and not much in labor as it should be less than an hour to do so with an experienced mechanic. It can be a five minute fix on a car where it's easy to access. (It's also something that you can DIY if you are handy.) Therapy and gym are good for you--I'm not saying quit those, especially as they help you to be healthy in the long term--but I'd be super tight with the rest. Edited August 14 by prairiewindmomma 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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