Indigo Blue Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 (edited) Deleted Edited September 2, 2023 by Indigo Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted September 1, 2023 Author Share Posted September 1, 2023 I meant to add…. Please don’t quote!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 A reasonable person would not believe they are in imminent danger from someone outside their home, knocking on the door or ringing the doorbell. What a reasonable person would believe is the question. Here’s a link when I googled stand your ground there: https://bannisterandwyatt.com/stand-your-ground-law-in-south-carolina/ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted September 1, 2023 Author Share Posted September 1, 2023 I meant to add…. Please don’t quote!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted September 1, 2023 Author Share Posted September 1, 2023 Thanks, Katy. That is my basic understanding of things. You could even be threatened outside in your front yard and be vindicated for defending yourself. It says you need to show intent of harm. Of course that will be picked apart in court. I do not see where it says you can shoot when they are banging on your door, as in that it is written into the law that you would be justified in that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 The story I read said that the young man broke the front door window in his attempts to get into the house. Regardless of his intentions, that certainly increases the likelihood the person in the home will assume harm is intended. Investigators determined Donofrio “mistakenly went to the wrong home and attempted to enter by repeatedly knocking, banging, and kicking at the front door while manipulating the door handle,” the release said. A woman who lived in the home called 911 while a man who lived there retrieved a firearm, police said. As the woman was on the phone with dispatchers, Donofrio broke the front door glass window and reached inside to manipulate the doorknob,” the release says. The man then fired a single shot through the broken window, hitting Donofrio, police said. “The investigation also determined that the homeowner was not prohibited from possessing a firearm and he legally owned the firearm for the purpose of personal and home protection,” the release said. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 The guy didn't shoot when he was just banging on the door. He shot when he broke a window. I also wouldn't shoot with banging on the door=but braking a window or busting into my house by breaking the door is a completely other situation. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartstrings Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 4 minutes ago, klmama said: As the woman was on the phone with dispatchers, Donofrio broke the front door glass window and reached inside to manipulate the doorknob,” the release says. I think this makes a huge difference. Once his hand is inside the house Within reach of the door knob I don’t think the homeowner has a responsibility to wait additional seconds until the door swings open. Once the door is breached the intruder is fair game. Shooting a man through a closed door is a while different thing than shooting through a door that has been breached. 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted September 1, 2023 Author Share Posted September 1, 2023 (edited) . Edited September 2, 2023 by Indigo Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 I mean in some areas the dispatcher would tell someone it’s okay to shoot once the arm is inside. I’ve been focused on hurricane news the past several days and didn’t realize this was an actual case. It sounds like this person got very confused by conservative media. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 Interestingly, the story I heard didn't include the broken window either. I felt there must be more to the story, because they said they made their decision based on evidence the investigators found inside the home. I'm sorry, it sucks, but make sure it's your own house before you bust the window to unlock the door and let yourself in. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 Katy, why are you blaming the media for confusing the homeowner??? It sounds like he correctly understood the laws in his state. The investigators found he should not be charged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterPan Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 Please tell me this person has no access to firearms? Their judgment seems to be impaired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 3 minutes ago, klmama said: Katy, why are you blaming the media for confusing the homeowner??? It sounds like he correctly understood the laws in his state. The investigators found he should not be charged. I think she means the person that the OP was conversing with, who was convinced it was okay to shoot *just from hearing banging* and said they heard it on TV. *NOT* the person who did the shooting. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 1 minute ago, TheReader said: I think she means the person that the OP was conversing with, who was convinced it was okay to shoot *just from hearing banging* and said they heard it on TV. *NOT* the person who did the shooting. Ah. Okay, that makes more sense. Sorry, Katy! Still, several here didn't know about the broken window part at first, either, so I don't think it's fair to blame just conservative media, unless that's all people here watch/read, too. Leaving out key details is rampant among all media, it seems to me. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 So-called journalists who choose inflammatory language to incite anger are not doing the country any favors. The headlines, if any, should read "man shot after violently busting into a house that wasn't his." 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartstrings Posted September 1, 2023 Share Posted September 1, 2023 30 minutes ago, klmama said: Ah. Okay, that makes more sense. Sorry, Katy! Still, several here didn't know about the broken window part at first, either, so I don't think it's fair to blame just conservative media, unless that's all people here watch/read, too. Leaving out key details is rampant among all media, it seems to me. I hate to defend conservative media, as a left leaning person, but I feel like I have to here. Just from the sounds of it, it seems more likely to have been a liberal news source who messed up. Decrying excessive force by armed home owners is a usual liberal media thing. Usually it’s something more like “homeowner shoots teen for knocking on door” type story. Some of the cases in recent months have been nuts, like someone being shot for turning around in someone’s driveway. Trying to make this situation, where the door was broken into, fit that narrative is terrible reporting and cheapens the horror of the times that armed home owners do shoot people for ridiculous reasons. My “side” is probably the “side” that did a poor job of reporting here and it’s not ok. Shooting a teen for knocking on your door to pick up siblings is egregious. (Recent case) Shooting someone actively busting your door down is justifiable defense. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted September 1, 2023 Author Share Posted September 1, 2023 1 hour ago, SKL said: Interestingly, the story I heard didn't include the broken window either. I felt there must be more to the story, because they said they made their decision based on evidence the investigators found inside the home. I'm sorry, it sucks, but make sure it's your own house before you bust the window to unlock the door and let yourself in. Ok that makes me wonder what version they heard and were telling me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted September 1, 2023 Author Share Posted September 1, 2023 Well now I want to ask if the part about trying to breach the door and breaking glass was the version they heard. The best thing is not to bring it up again, though. The whole thing will just get started again. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted September 2, 2023 Share Posted September 2, 2023 Generally speaking, you can’t shoot anybody unless you are military or LE and then you have to only shoot within the parameters of your job. IOW, if you shoot someone, you are getting booked. If your case is defensible, you stand a good chance of not going to prison, though. It does sound to me like this case is defensible, due to Castle law. I don’t think there are many good reasons to shoot someone if you are not military or LE, however, someone breaking down my door stands a good chance of being shot. I wouldn’t want that to happen but someone breaking my door window would be assumed to have intent to do harm so…yeah. I live in a state with strict gun laws but you are still allowed to have a handgun if you follow the laws. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted September 3, 2023 Share Posted September 3, 2023 On 9/1/2023 at 8:04 PM, Ginevra said: Generally speaking, you can’t shoot anybody unless you are military or LE and then you have to only shoot within the parameters of your job. IOW, if you shoot someone, you are getting booked. Texas has entered the chat . . . It is definitely not always true that you will be getting booked if you shoot someone. You will always be questioned, or at least I certainly hope so, but why would they take you into custody and book you unless they think you broke a law? A quick search brought up several cases where the media quickly reported that the police stated the shooter would not be charged. Not just that they hadn't been charged, but that they would not be charged, that they were within their rights, that the shooting was justified, and so on. I'm poking fun at Texas above, but I live in Louisiana and I can tell you that I've never heard of someone being arrested for shooting an intruder. Not even if they kill them. If they're found to be lying, then yes, of course they will be arrested and booked, but a genuine intruder situation? I don't even think Texas and Louisiana are that unusual in not routinely booking them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted September 3, 2023 Share Posted September 3, 2023 On 9/1/2023 at 12:26 PM, Heartstrings said: Trying to make this situation, where the door was broken into, fit that narrative is terrible reporting and cheapens the horror of the times that armed home owners do shoot people for ridiculous reasons. My “side” is probably the “side” that did a poor job of reporting here and it’s not ok. To be fair, the original statement from police, which was released on Saturday the 26th, did not mention anything about a broken window, it just said that a student had been shot "when he attempted to enter the wrong home." It wasn't until Wednesday the 30th that police released an updated report that mentioned the broken window. So I don't think there was a purposeful attempt by the media to spin the story a certain way, reporters were just relaying the limited details they had before police had interviewed all the witnesses, looked at surveillance video, and released the details of the investigation several days later. That may also explain why the person OP mentioned thought it was legal to shoot someone for banging on a door, if she only heard the story as it was first reported and then later heard that the shooter wasn't charged but didn't know the additional details. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted September 3, 2023 Author Share Posted September 3, 2023 @Corraleno I guess it really isn’t important now, but she began stating that the news said that the law says you could shoot a person who is banging on your door when I began to contradict her by saying I didn’t think that could be true. She replied that “well, they said it three times. Plain and clear” (her voice raising and getting defensive). She doesn’t like to be corrected. It’s possible she was inventing things to say to support what she thought she heard so she could be right. She does that. It was hard for me to not to contradict her, because I was really trying to get her to see how you just can’t shoot people like that. Or so I was pretty sure….so I came home and looked up the story and tried to find where any law says anything that. It’s likely she could have been either confused or doubling down….. who knows. @PeterPanNo firearms in that home, to my best knowledge. I’m always checking stuff like this, even if I don’t discuss it with her. She has always been really bad about getting facts mixed up and then being argumentative about it. It’s getting worse with age, but age certainly has not been the cause of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted September 3, 2023 Author Share Posted September 3, 2023 And I might as well say that she was also bringing up the movie theater that she claims that exists (on my route home) that does not exist. Again. This makes the third time. She caught me off guard. “Have they built any new houses over there by that movie theater?” “What movie theater?” “The one on hwy xyz on your way home.” “There’s not a movie theatre on my way home.” “Yes, there is.” “Oh, do you mean the one you were talking (arguing) about bef….” “Yes. That one. When you drive home, you make a right onto xyz hwy. It’s right there on the left.” At this point, I can’t decide how to undo this. She is getting angry and defiant, wanting to pick a fight about it. I feel I’m being bullied and cornered. Again. For the third time, about this movie theater. “There’s not a …..Never mind. Do you know the name of it?” “XYZ….something.” ”Yes, there’s a XYZ theater on that highway, but it’s in the opposite direction, close to abc hwy, as we discussed before.” I pulled out my phone and showed her the location. “See it’s way down here, by Lowe’s. It’s not on my way home when I make a right onto xyz hwy.” ”I never said it was on the highway right after you make that right to go home.” (It’s not dementia. She changed it up right after she saw the location on my phone and saw that she was wrong). ”Mom, you literally just said that it was on my way home.” ”No, I didn’t. I just said it was on that highway.” I said, no they aren’t building new houses down there, and then I changed topics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted September 3, 2023 Share Posted September 3, 2023 4 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said: At this point, I can’t decide how to undo this. She is getting angry and defiant, wanting to pick a fight about it. I feel I’m being bullied and cornered. Genuine question, not being snarky: Why do you engage with her at all? Is it a sense of obligation? Is there still some small, irrational hope in the back of your mind that she'll eventually change? (Spoiler: she won't.) You do not have to allow yourself to be continually bullied and cornered and gaslit. You can restrict contact to phone calls and hang up the minute she starts in with this bullshit. You don't have to see or speak to her at all if you don't want to. No one is obligated to let an abuser continue to abuse them — any "right" to be honored or respected as a parent is forfeited if that parent is abusive. You do have the power to break this cycle; what do you think is holding you back? 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indigo Blue Posted September 3, 2023 Author Share Posted September 3, 2023 (edited) @Corralenomost always I don’t let it go that far. Sometimes it just slips up, and I head down a path that seems safe and all, then it gets bumpy. Truly, I have decided for myself that what I will allow in my life is a visit every few weeks for a couple hours. I visit my brother, too, as he lives there. I have decided to do what I can to meet the basic needs of both my aging parents, stopping short of having them move in with me. I will support both siblings in any other way that they need me to, barring moving in with me. I have seen her being a bit more bullying to my (golden child brother) than I have ever seen before. I truly feel sorry for both my brothers. Anyway, I have also made a promise to myself that these are the things I will do, but if she ever screams in my face again, that’s it. ETA: I do think shortening visits even more might be a good idea. Edited September 3, 2023 by Indigo Blue 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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