Declutter inspiration

[Ausmumof3]

Things are getting cluttered here again. I’ve done flylady. I’ve done life changing magic. I’ve done a slob comes clean. Doing the same system again doesn’t work for my brain I need a new approach. The biggest issue is I get into declutter mode but then the budget gets super tight and I want to hang on to stuff because I’m worried I’ll need it. (Throwing out clothes with holes and stains wasn’t a great flylady decision for me as we farm). 

[Brittany1116]

Hmm. Sounds like you probably wouldn't benefit from Swedish death cleaning right now. 

Do you think container method helps? You can keep the ratty clothes you know you'll farm in, so long as they don't overflow this drawer. 

[Arcadia]

1 minute ago, Ausmumof3 said:

The biggest issue is I get into declutter mode but then the budget gets super tight and I want to hang on to stuff because I’m worried I’ll need it.

My husband has a similar issue and I get irritated by clutter. Our solution was to put the stuff into our dining room which serve primarily as a store room. However, there is finite space in our dining room so I do have to set a limit to “hoarding”. We were very broke when we relocated here and had to be penny pinching on clothes, outerwear and shoes as the money my parents gave us to help us out went to groceries and medical bills.  So when we were more stable financially, my husband would keep buying me spare outerwear, clothes and shoes. I have more than 50 pairs of shoes and my husband was still worried that I don’t have enough. I made him count the shoe boxes and it finally sink in that I have enough shoes for years (I usually wear out 3 pairs per quarter). I don’t have much spare clothing but I did have to make my husband count and sort the outerwear I have for him to feel that I really have enough. 
So decluttering is both a space issue and a psychological issue. For my in-laws, they like to look like they can afford to own a lot of stuff so it is really hard to stop them hoarding. For my husband, he is just afraid we can’t afford to replace what we throw away so  setting limits on what is enough per category and then donating or throwing the rest works. 

[Ausmumof3]

24 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

My husband has a similar issue and I get irritated by clutter. Our solution was to put the stuff into our dining room which serve primarily as a store room. However, there is finite space in our dining room so I do have to set a limit to “hoarding”. We were very broke when we relocated here and had to be penny pinching on clothes, outerwear and shoes as the money my parents gave us to help us out went to groceries and medical bills.  So when we were more stable financially, my husband would keep buying me spare outerwear, clothes and shoes. I have more than 50 pairs of shoes and my husband was still worried that I don’t have enough. I made him count the shoe boxes and it finally sink in that I have enough shoes for years (I usually wear out 3 pairs per quarter). I don’t have much spare clothing but I did have to make my husband count and sort the outerwear I have for him to feel that I really have enough. 
So decluttering is both a space issue and a psychological issue. For my in-laws, they like to look like they can afford to own a lot of stuff so it is really hard to stop them hoarding. For my husband, he is just afraid we can’t afford to replace what we throw away so  setting limits on what is enough per category and then donating or throwing the rest works. 

I don’t think it’s quite like that for me. I have about 12 pairs of shoes. But a couple of those don’t really fit and one are dress shoes in really poor condition. But I probably don’t have the funds to replace if I need dress shoes in a hurry. So I am keeping stuff that most people would think is clutter because it’s worn out but it’s not like I have multiple versions of the same thing. I should probably throw them and trust I can use an op shop if I really need to replace them?

[Ausmumof3]

35 minutes ago, Brittany1116 said:

Hmm. Sounds like you probably wouldn't benefit from Swedish death cleaning right now. 

Do you think container method helps? You can keep the ratty clothes you know you'll farm in, so long as they don't overflow this drawer. 

Yeah maybe. I’m not super good at stacking and storing so if I’m not minimalist my storage ends up chaotic.

[regentrude]

Marie Kondo. Take everything out and only put back what sparks joy. Donate or trash the rest.

I found the concept of thinking about what to KeEP instead of what to toss very effective. 

[Arcadia]

4 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I should probably throw them and trust I can use an op shop if I really need to replace them?

I had zero dress shoes and wore a long dress to hide the fact I was wearing formal boots on one occasion. How much would a pair of dress shoes typically cost at an op shop? For me, AU$20 would be my break point between touching up a worn out pair that is comfortable and hunting for a new pair on sale. For shoes, I would want to keep at least a pair of dress shoes, a pair of work boots, and a pair of slippers/sandals. I find that on the rare occasions that I need those, I don’t have the time to run out and buy a comfortable pair. 
 

17 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Yeah maybe. I’m not super good at stacking and storing so if I’m not minimalist my storage ends up chaotic.

I bought a stack of shoebox size plastic containers for less than a dollar each in bulk packs. I do tend to store my things like a warehouse because I am visual oriented when storing and retrieving stuff. 

For stuff that are in the throw but may come in useful category, do you have funds set aside for replacing? For example, I donated my work blazers when I stopped working after DS18 was born. I do have some money set aside for buying work clothes if I were to re-enter the workforce. 

[Ausmumof3]

5 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

I had zero dress shoes and wore a long dress to hide the fact I was wearing formal boots on one occasion. How much would a pair of dress shoes typically cost at an op shop? For me, AU$20 would be my break point between touching up a worn out pair that is comfortable and hunting for a new pair on sale. For shoes, I would want to keep at least a pair of dress shoes, a pair of work boots, and a pair of slippers/sandals. I find that on the rare occasions that I need those, I don’t have the time to run out and buy a comfortable pair. 
 

I bought a stack of shoebox size plastic containers for less than a dollar each in bulk packs. I do tend to store my things like a warehouse because I am visual oriented when storing and retrieving stuff. 

For stuff that are in the throw but may come in useful category, do you have funds set aside for replacing? For example, I donated my work blazers when I stopped working after DS18 was born. I do have some money set aside for buying work clothes if I were to re-enter the workforce. 

No. If I need stuff urgently we would put it on the credit card and try to do extra overtime/shifts to pay it off. We also have old cars/scrap metal etc we could sell. DH is more comfortable with that scenario than I am but after 20 years it’s unlikely to change. Thankfully for my current work I am able to wear black jeans and a uniform polo so other than replacing jeans it has been good. We also wear semi dressy stuff to church so at a push I could use that.

Edited August 10, 2023 by Ausmumof3

[Ausmumof3]

21 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Marie Kondo. Take everything out and only put back what sparks joy. Donate or trash the rest.

I found the concept of thinking about what to KeEP instead of what to toss very effective. 

It definitely worked best for me and I had no regrets unlike Flylady decluttering. But I have recluttered and don’t seem to have the mental energy for the bulk approach now. 

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Things are getting cluttered here again. 

 

36 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I should probably throw them and trust I can use an op shop if I really need to replace them?

Is the issue with the shoes REALLY what is making your house feel cluttered? It seems like you're starting with decluttering stuff you have to talk yourself into rather than starting with stuff you KNOW is excess or time to go.

It sounds like you've gotten burnt in the past by decluttering stuff other people thought should go that you knew you needed for your lifestyle. Sometimes what works for that is to have a moving pen. Move things to the pen and then move them out if you don't use them in 6 months to a use. 

I find for me, after a year or two, I'm tired of xyz thing anyway, even if I liked it. So there's a point where you just need to let it go anyway. 

Just now, Ausmumof3 said:

But I have recluttered and don’t seem to have the mental energy for the bulk approach now. 

Maybe instead of decluttering you need some self care? What if you decluttered a place where you could create a rest nest? 

[Ausmumof3]

1 minute ago, PeterPan said:

 

Is the issue with the shoes REALLY what is making your house feel cluttered? It seems like you're starting with decluttering stuff you have to talk yourself into rather than starting with stuff you KNOW is excess or time to go.

It sounds like you've gotten burnt in the past by decluttering stuff other people thought should go that you knew you needed for your lifestyle. Sometimes what works for that is to have a moving pen. Move things to the pen and then move them out if you don't use them in 6 months to a use. 

I find for me, after a year or two, I'm tired of xyz thing anyway, even if I liked it. So there's a point where you just need to let it go anyway. 

Maybe instead of decluttering you need some self care? What if you decluttered a place where you could create a rest nest? 

No but it’s an example of the problem everywhere. Leggings that drive me nuts because they fall down. Old pencils that break when you sharpen them. Sheets with tired elastic. Stuff that you can get by with if you have to but you don’t like… but you can’t replace it all! 

[PeterPan]

When I get to that point, sometimes I need some self care. For me, the ability to declutter is connected to my mental health and mental mojo. Are you taking care of yourself? Is there anything you need to do for yourself? 

I'll just say, of all those things, I would pick on, probably the bedroom. I can put up with a lot if my BED is clean and proper. I don't know if you've noticed, but I seem to get pneumonia and get whomped down rather frequently, at least a couple times a year. I just got done with a long antibiotic for my most recent round, and the house got SO bad. It takes a LONG TIME to dig out of a messy house when you've let things go! I was trying to clean, and just sweeping was making me sick with the dust. 🤣 So much sneezing, sigh.

So when that happens and I get buried, I try work on one room at a time. One room for the whole week. In my little 5 minute spurts, because that's the Flylady thing. Even recovering from really bad pneumonia I can do 5 minutes. And I set really finite, modest, small goals like that. And yeah that means it takes a couple months to get my house back in order, haha, but eventually gets there.

I'm a huge fan of clean toilets. If you have a small fetish or thing that makes your space feel intolerable, definitely attend to it. I'm a fan of chunking and intentional ignoring. 

6 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Leggings that drive me nuts because they fall down.

Why are you wearing leggings if they don't work for you? I'll just nose in here, really really nose in, and you can just laugh/ignore/whatever. My dh and I are very different in how we think through money and finally I was like give me money, I do my thing, you do yours. It works for us. If your leggings are old because your dh's brain says to prioritize some things and get around to leggings when you get around to them, maybe that doesn't work for you. Maybe you'd rather have money that you can then handle frugally to up-prioritize leggings WHEN YOU WANT THEM NOT WHEN HE GETS AROUND TO THEM. 

Like I said, none of my business. I just think you can't solve the real problem till you realize the real problem. If you have old pencils and old leggings because of the way your finances are handled and differences in prioritizes, then that's the real issue. You'd have thrown them away and replaced if you had the power. When we're at home and they're working, sometimes the power differential gets a little off and puts us in awkward, unempowered positions. We might not earn a paycheck, but we are valuable and do need some ability to take care of ourselves the way we see. 

Whatever, ignore, no clue if that applies. If it doesn't, go back to your decluttering. Anything you want to do is fine. I try to Dave Ramsey my house when it gets really bad. He says pay off the smallest bill first to get some success, right? Well I pick the EASIEST room and start there. 😂

[Arcadia]

2 minutes ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Stuff that you can get by with if you have to but you don’t like… but you can’t replace it all! 

Buy one throw/donate two or something to that effect. When we relocated here and could not afford winter clothes, I bought size XL puffer coats because they were cheap on sale while the XS to M were close to or at full retail price. A year or two later, we managed to find smaller sizes on sale so would buy a M and donate two XLs to warm coat donation bins at my local library. Many years later, we were able to splurge a little and pay more for XS so I could donate the Ms. 

I can’t sew well but I can mend. For leggings and the sheets, would it make financial sense to change the elastic bands yourself? I have to throw away leggings that are out of shape but I do change the elastic bands for pants that are in good condition other than the elastic waistband. 

[PeterPan]

Btw, I'm not meaning to be insensitive on the budget thing. If it's tight, you could try your thrift store and see if you can find some replacements that are in happier condition. Then you'd toss the old to make way for the replacements. There's also Freecycle or other free sharing local connections through FB. 

[Ausmumof3]

10 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

When I get to that point, sometimes I need some self care. For me, the ability to declutter is connected to my mental health and mental mojo. Are you taking care of yourself? Is there anything you need to do for yourself? 

I'll just say, of all those things, I would pick on, probably the bedroom. I can put up with a lot if my BED is clean and proper. I don't know if you've noticed, but I seem to get pneumonia and get whomped down rather frequently, at least a couple times a year. I just got done with a long antibiotic for my most recent round, and the house got SO bad. It takes a LONG TIME to dig out of a messy house when you've let things go! I was trying to clean, and just sweeping was making me sick with the dust. 🤣 So much sneezing, sigh.

So when that happens and I get buried, I try work on one room at a time. One room for the whole week. In my little 5 minute spurts, because that's the Flylady thing. Even recovering from really bad pneumonia I can do 5 minutes. And I set really finite, modest, small goals like that. And yeah that means it takes a couple months to get my house back in order, haha, but eventually gets there.

I'm a huge fan of clean toilets. If you have a small fetish or thing that makes your space feel intolerable, definitely attend to it. I'm a fan of chunking and intentional ignoring. 

Why are you wearing leggings if they don't work for you? I'll just nose in here, really really nose in, and you can just laugh/ignore/whatever. My dh and I are very different in how we think through money and finally I was like give me money, I do my thing, you do yours. It works for us. If your leggings are old because your dh's brain says to prioritize some things and get around to leggings when you get around to them, maybe that doesn't work for you. Maybe you'd rather have money that you can then handle frugally to up-prioritize leggings WHEN YOU WANT THEM NOT WHEN HE GETS AROUND TO THEM. 

Like I said, none of my business. I just think you can't solve the real problem till you realize the real problem. If you have old pencils and old leggings because of the way your finances are handled and differences in prioritizes, then that's the real issue. You'd have thrown them away and replaced if you had the power. When we're at home and they're working, sometimes the power differential gets a little off and puts us in awkward, unempowered positions. We might not earn a paycheck, but we are valuable and do need some ability to take care of ourselves the way we see. 

Whatever, ignore, no clue if that applies. If it doesn't, go back to your decluttering. Anything you want to do is fine. I try to Dave Ramsey my house when it gets really bad. He says pay off the smallest bill first to get some success, right? Well I pick the EASIEST room and start there. 😂

Yeah I am burned out. I have been studying, homeschooling and working for the last two years while DH did a major career change and our income halved. All of that with COVID etc simmering in the background. Last term I had a super stressful placement situation for my course and ended up with flu. I’m still coughing when it gets cold. But I’m not entirely a saint or a martyr either I have been coping by watching dumb shows, reading late at night and letting the house go!!! Lol. It’s no tougher here than for the rest of Aus where rent and interest rates have been skyrocketing. I just hit 40 and I want to slow down and take care of myself and spend time with my kids before they’re out of home but I need to actually work more and earn more instead. the leggings thing is not DH at all. He would tell me to go buy new leggings already! He has always encouraged me to buy what I need. But he’s much more comfy with debt and living on the edge than I am so I try to be frugal to keep things in check. It’s me because I know that if I spend more I have to figure out how to earn more.

Anyway you are 100pc right that it’s not really the clutter it’s all of life right now. 

[Ausmumof3]

19 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Buy one throw/donate two or something to that effect. When we relocated here and could not afford winter clothes, I bought size XL puffer coats because they were cheap on sale while the XS to M were close to or at full retail price. A year or two later, we managed to find smaller sizes on sale so would buy a M and donate two XLs to warm coat donation bins at my local library. Many years later, we were able to splurge a little and pay more for XS so I could donate the Ms. 

I can’t sew well but I can mend. For leggings and the sheets, would it make financial sense to change the elastic bands yourself? I have to throw away leggings that are out of shape but I do change the elastic bands for pants that are in good condition other than the elastic waistband. 

I can kind of sew and mend but I don’t think I could do the elastics without destroying them.  

[bookbard]

Just start with a small area and tidy that. I just did the top of the dressing table. Cleared everything off, found a layer of dust and random stuff (clothes tags etc) to throw away. Already my side of the room is far more restful. Maybe if you can tackle one tiny area that would make things feel a bit more under control. 

[Ausmumof3]

13 minutes ago, bookbard said:

Just start with a small area and tidy that. I just did the top of the dressing table. Cleared everything off, found a layer of dust and random stuff (clothes tags etc) to throw away. Already my side of the room is far more restful. Maybe if you can tackle one tiny area that would make things feel a bit more under control. 

Thanks 

my bedside table looks good now anyway 😄

[Katy]

Try listening to Dana K White’s audiobooks. Start with Decluttering at the Speed of Life. 

[Carrie12345]

You may need to revisit your definition of clutter.

For example, storing a sad pair of dress shoes. What’s your actual desire? Sounds like storing a new pair of dress shoes. They both take up the same amount of storage space. So how is that clutter?

Ratty farm clothes. How often do you wash? How many shirts or pants does that mean you need? Is that how many you have? “Work clothes” are not clutter. Work clothes you don’t need are.

What does your clothing closet look like? Is there room above or below for a bin or basket of “maybe”s?

I try to keep a running list of things that need replacing so I can prioritize and hunt deals. Yesterday I snagged decent prices on bras. While not at the tippy top of my priority list, the cost savings bumped it up! Which means my favorites can quit working so hard and I can ditch some backups.

[fraidycat]

11 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Yeah maybe. I’m not super good at stacking and storing so if I’m not minimalist my storage ends up chaotic.

Have you seen Clutterbug on youtube? Her thing is storage/organization based on whether you like hidden or visual storage and micro or macro categories/sorting.

Maybe the problem isn't so much that you have too much stuff, but that you need to organize/containerize it differently. 
 

Maybe you need hooks instead of hangers, see through containers instead of woven baskets, doors off closets or cupboards.... or vice versa. 
 

https://clutterbug.me/

She does talk about decluttering and different ways she does it, too. But her organization stuff helps me understand and organize the house in a way that it stays more organized because I organize to match how my family (and myself) will actually use the space and put stuff away. Several closets in our house no longer have doors for the visual/simple "putter awayers" in our house.

My house is still a work in progress, but it's getting better each time I evaluate and implement organization and storage ideas that work for my people's style.

Edited August 10, 2023 by fraidycat

[PeterPan]

12 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:

flu. I’m still coughing

Is it possible you've developed some asthma? I developed asthma around that age when we had a lot of stress and things going on. (probably had it a dab before but then got sick and definitely had it) When my lungs are not right, I don't feel as well. Coughing can be an asthma symptom and it can be reactive (to exercise) or just because. 

11 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Thanks 

my bedside table looks good now anyway 😄

That's a start! 🙂

[Ausmumof3]

5 hours ago, PeterPan said:

Is it possible you've developed some asthma? I developed asthma around that age when we had a lot of stress and things going on. (probably had it a dab before but then got sick and definitely had it) When my lungs are not right, I don't feel as well. Coughing can be an asthma symptom and it can be reactive (to exercise) or just because. 

That's a start! 🙂

That’s possible. I’m have started having some hay fever symptoms the last couple of years.

[Carol in Cal.]

I found that my willingness to let things go went way up when I found ways to replace them later for free or very cheap.

Not just garage sales, but free exchanges, Acts 4:32 tables, freecycle, Buy Nothing groups, and thrift stores.  

I am far less likely to keep things 'just in case' now because I can often replace them later without spend much or even any money if I need them, and giving them away makes someone else more able to live well and frugally also.