Updates 2023 (job hunt etc)

[Jaybee]

I'm sure rooting for you! This has certainly been a long slog.

When I think back to your posts a few years ago, and how far you have come, it's pretty amazing! I am hoping for a great job with a future that you really enjoy.

[Scarlett]

On 7/26/2023 at 12:03 PM, heartlikealion said:

I got an email today about another library job. They want me to go in person to take a 2 hr test. 
 

@katilac I’m sending you a DM to ask if you know about this area. They mandate where you live. 

Yah! That is exciting!

[heartlikealion]

Before I had posted about the hotel microwave I cooked off some sausage patties that were defrosting from travel (yes they were in a cooler bad with ice). I ate 2 but plan to toss the rest to be on the safe side. I’ll let you know if I get super powers. Fingers crossed for teleportation. I did report the microwave & they will look but he dismissed it as “old” when I showed the photo 🙄

I’m being pulled in 20 directions still. It was the kids, my sister, my landlord, etc. Now I thought things calmed down after my sister went home and my landlords got their key back, but apparently the trailer is offending an HOA and my dad was pestering me to get it unloaded and away. I could have left it in the hotel parking lot but he didn’t want me to (seriously there was nothing if value on it). My storage unit is pretty tight so he insisted we unload a bunch into his garage and “deal with it later.” Translation: I’ll be hearing about it in 24 hrs. Now he not so subtly keeps talking about how his meals & sleep has been altered due to me. I told him don’t unload the trailer if you need to make dinner. But it’s my family’s style to help then drop guilt trippy comments. Like whatever. Own it. Help and don’t gripe or don’t help. 

[Scarlett]

The rental you just moved out of was cute.  Loved that little built in nook.  

[heartlikealion]

Just now, Scarlett said:

The rental you just moved out of was cute.  Loved that little built in nook.  

DD’s room had built in shelves on 2 sides and the hallway had something that maybe once held a telephone?? lol I put a nativity there at Christmas and rotates things on display. 

[Scarlett]

Just now, heartlikealion said:

DD’s room had built in shelves on 2 sides and the hallway had something that maybe once held a telephone?? lol I put a nativity there at Christmas and rotates things on display. 

Yes that was most likely a telephone nook.  My first house, built in 1950 had it.  

[heartlikealion]

1 minute ago, Scarlett said:

Yes that was most likely a telephone nook.  My first house, built in 1950 had it.  

The landlord suggested putting the router there 😆 I didn’t want to and the cable company said it wouldn’t work there, anyway. 

I canceled my cable internet. I can at least use wifi at the hotel. 

[heartlikealion]

Had graphic designer job interview. It was OK. I dunno how I rank — they said they’d be doing interviews all day. 
Pay was not disclosed and when I asked they said it’s considered an entry-level job so it would be on the lower end but experience would be considered. So basically I still have no idea about base pay. They said that’s a question for HR and they will later email me with HR’s number… but I’m not holding my breath. They probably won’t email me til they know who they have chosen. 

I then attended that electrician thing. Apparently it’s a 5-year apprenticeship program where you work & attend school. The schooling starts this Aug so anyone that signs up now has to wait til next Aug. They said in between contracts you will be unemployed but can collect unemployment or work another non electrical job. I thought really? People are cool with this instability? Two women spoke about how it was worth the pay & perks (health ins/retirement etc) from the union but I wasn’t convinced. You might barely see your kids. Some jobs are in different cities spread out. Some make you work nights. First year pay is $15/hr. After 5 years you’ll get 30+. That union only does commercial electoral. If I pursue electrical I’d go the other route (9 weeks class) and go into residential. But I wonder if that’s just as unstable. 

I missed a call from my lawyer. No telling what that’s about. 

Crossing fingers for graphic design job. 

[ktgrok]

I definitely think you need to lean in to graphic design, OR do some self study to take some basic tech certifications. Honestly, if you want flexible hours where you can see your kids, maybe even work from home, tech is the way to go now. If you have any interest in cyber security stuff I can ask my DH where you would start. A degree in the field is NOT needed, at all. Some kind of degree is good to get past automated resume systems that look for a bachelors in something/anything, but certifications count way more as they are more specific. You do often start in a call center level, entry level, but it isn't hard to move up pretty quickly if you get some certifications. And I don't mean call center like making sales calls, I mean like the "help desk" that helps people who need to reset their password or whatever. They have basic scripts to follow and if they have a bigger problem they escalate it to someone else. So not working on commission or pressuring people to buy stuff or that kind of thing. Just helping people. It's annoying at times because people often have stupid problems, lol, but it is stable. And like I said, if you get some certifications you can move onward. 

OH and at least in the infosec/cybersecurity world it is also VERY much "who you know" and there are free/cheap ways to build those relationships. My husband was making around 35K when we met 15 years ago. He is now making almost 4 times that much.  He did end up getting his masters degree during that time, but honestly, the connections and experience are what got him promoted, NOT his degree. He made a bunch of relationships by attending monthly social gatherings for people in or looking to be in InfoSec (meet ups are part of a thing called CitySec, you can find info on them here)and by volunteering with an organization called B-Sides, which puts on low cost InfoSec conferences around the country. He volunteered with the local one, but through them met speakers who were nationally known. He now has his dream job working for a company he came to admire through that organization. 

I mean, if you hate tech stuff not a good idea (not my thing) but if you are at all interested I can get you more info. There are also organizations now specifically for women in tech. This is one https://www.dianainitiative.org/

You can also attend a local B-Sides conference next time it is near you, there is one in NOLA in May http://www.securitybsides.com/w/page/151713813/BSidesNOLA 2023. That would give you an idea of if these are "your kind of people". I think they may be - lots of people into goth/geeky stuff, costumes/crafts/maker type people. 

Obviously, this isn't something that would work for you this week/month, but given that you are ambitious and smart, might be something to work toward. You could work on a certification while workign whatever job you find - you don't need to take an official class, you can get self study materials. Heck, if you get interested and find people through a CitySec meet up or B-Sides you may find people who will end you materials. As you advance in your skills/knowledge  there are "pay what you can" classes offered by the company my husband works for, that cost as little as you want to pay and are taught by leaders in the field. 

Again, if you would hate the field, never mind, lol. But it is something a person with ambition can do without a huge outlay of money, getting another degree, etc and doesn't involve being on your feet. It is also OFTEN work from home at least part time. My husband's job is based in South Dakota and we live in Florida - so better for your situation. 

[maize]

7 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

I definitely think you need to lean in to graphic design, OR do some self study to take some basic tech certifications. Honestly, if you want flexible hours where you can see your kids, maybe even work from home, tech is the way to go now. If you have any interest in cyber security stuff I can ask my DH where you would start. A degree in the field is NOT needed, at all. Some kind of degree is good to get past automated resume systems that look for a bachelors in something/anything, but certifications count way more as they are more specific. You do often start in a call center level, entry level, but it isn't hard to move up pretty quickly if you get some certifications. And I don't mean call center like making sales calls, I mean like the "help desk" that helps people who need to reset their password or whatever. They have basic scripts to follow and if they have a bigger problem they escalate it to someone else. So not working on commission or pressuring people to buy stuff or that kind of thing. Just helping people. It's annoying at times because people often have stupid problems, lol, but it is stable. And like I said, if you get some certifications you can move onward. 

OH and at least in the infosec/cybersecurity world it is also VERY much "who you know" and there are free/cheap ways to build those relationships. My husband was making around 35K when we met 15 years ago. He is now making almost 4 times that much.  He did end up getting his masters degree during that time, but honestly, the connections and experience are what got him promoted, NOT his degree. He made a bunch of relationships by attending monthly social gatherings for people in or looking to be in InfoSec (meet ups are part of a thing called CitySec, you can find info on them here)and by volunteering with an organization called B-Sides, which puts on low cost InfoSec conferences around the country. He volunteered with the local one, but through them met speakers who were nationally known. He now has his dream job working for a company he came to admire through that organization. 

I mean, if you hate tech stuff not a good idea (not my thing) but if you are at all interested I can get you more info. There are also organizations now specifically for women in tech. This is one https://www.dianainitiative.org/

You can also attend a local B-Sides conference next time it is near you, there is one in NOLA in May http://www.securitybsides.com/w/page/151713813/BSidesNOLA 2023. That would give you an idea of if these are "your kind of people". I think they may be - lots of people into goth/geeky stuff, costumes/crafts/maker type people. 

Obviously, this isn't something that would work for you this week/month, but given that you are ambitious and smart, might be something to work toward. You could work on a certification while workign whatever job you find - you don't need to take an official class, you can get self study materials. Heck, if you get interested and find people through a CitySec meet up or B-Sides you may find people who will end you materials. As you advance in your skills/knowledge  there are "pay what you can" classes offered by the company my husband works for, that cost as little as you want to pay and are taught by leaders in the field. 

Again, if you would hate the field, never mind, lol. But it is something a person with ambition can do without a huge outlay of money, getting another degree, etc and doesn't involve being on your feet. It is also OFTEN work from home at least part time. My husband's job is based in South Dakota and we live in Florida - so better for your situation. 

I just sent you a PM, this is a path I'm interested in pursuing myself.

[heartlikealion]

Thank you. I will keep it in mind. It would be a potential line of work I could see myself in. 

I am writing a thank you letter (snail mail) for the graphic designer position and mailing it today. I did mention to them that I’m willing to learn new skills (they said something along those lines… they want staff to keep learning) and when I worked at the library I’d never used Publisher but I threw myself in it and made things for the grab n go crafts. I had a pic from a craft in my portfolio. I showed them a physical portfolio and left them with a thumb drive to keep. I included ads that went to press, won an award, or were made for social media. I hope I seemed relevant enough. I was confident, had them laugh and relate to some of me comments (the client wants this but you know it’s too crowded). I just don’t know if I nailed it or how the other candidates were. 

[heartlikealion]

Oh and the lawyer thing — another last ditch settlement offer. I said forget it. He’s going to court. 

[maize]

10 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Thank you. I will keep it in mind. It would be a potential line of work I could see myself in. 

I am writing a thank you letter (snail mail) for the graphic designer position and mailing it today. I did mention to them that I’m willing to learn new skills (they said something along those lines… they want staff to keep learning) and when I worked at the library I’d never used Publisher but I threw myself in it and made things for the grab n go crafts. I had a pic from a craft in my portfolio. I showed them a physical portfolio and left them with a thumb drive to keep. I included ads that went to press, won an award, or were made for social media. I hope I seemed relevant enough. I was confident, had them laugh and relate to some of me comments (the client wants this but you know it’s too crowded). I just don’t know if I nailed it or how the other candidates were. 

It sounds like you did great!

If you don't get the job, it won't be because you didn't demonstrate your qualifications and commitment. 

 

[Heartstrings]

19 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

I definitely think you need to lean in to graphic design, OR do some self study to take some basic tech certifications. Honestly, if you want flexible hours where you can see your kids, maybe even work from home, tech is the way to go now. If you have any interest in cyber security stuff I can ask my DH where you would start. A degree in the field is NOT needed, at all. Some kind of degree is good to get past automated resume systems that look for a bachelors in something/anything, but certifications count way more as they are more specific. You do often start in a call center level, entry level, but it isn't hard to move up pretty quickly if you get some certifications. And I don't mean call center like making sales calls, I mean like the "help desk" that helps people who need to reset their password or whatever. They have basic scripts to follow and if they have a bigger problem they escalate it to someone else. So not working on commission or pressuring people to buy stuff or that kind of thing. Just helping people. It's annoying at times because people often have stupid problems, lol, but it is stable. And like I said, if you get some certifications you can move onward. 

OH and at least in the infosec/cybersecurity world it is also VERY much "who you know" and there are free/cheap ways to build those relationships. My husband was making around 35K when we met 15 years ago. He is now making almost 4 times that much.  He did end up getting his masters degree during that time, but honestly, the connections and experience are what got him promoted, NOT his degree. He made a bunch of relationships by attending monthly social gatherings for people in or looking to be in InfoSec (meet ups are part of a thing called CitySec, you can find info on them here)and by volunteering with an organization called B-Sides, which puts on low cost InfoSec conferences around the country. He volunteered with the local one, but through them met speakers who were nationally known. He now has his dream job working for a company he came to admire through that organization. 

I mean, if you hate tech stuff not a good idea (not my thing) but if you are at all interested I can get you more info. There are also organizations now specifically for women in tech. This is one https://www.dianainitiative.org/

You can also attend a local B-Sides conference next time it is near you, there is one in NOLA in May http://www.securitybsides.com/w/page/151713813/BSidesNOLA 2023. That would give you an idea of if these are "your kind of people". I think they may be - lots of people into goth/geeky stuff, costumes/crafts/maker type people. 

Obviously, this isn't something that would work for you this week/month, but given that you are ambitious and smart, might be something to work toward. You could work on a certification while workign whatever job you find - you don't need to take an official class, you can get self study materials. Heck, if you get interested and find people through a CitySec meet up or B-Sides you may find people who will end you materials. As you advance in your skills/knowledge  there are "pay what you can" classes offered by the company my husband works for, that cost as little as you want to pay and are taught by leaders in the field. 

Again, if you would hate the field, never mind, lol. But it is something a person with ambition can do without a huge outlay of money, getting another degree, etc and doesn't involve being on your feet. It is also OFTEN work from home at least part time. My husband's job is based in South Dakota and we live in Florida - so better for your situation. 

I'd love more info on this too.  My son was trying to do exactly this for years but was never able to get any traction and has decided to go back to school.  

 

[ktgrok]

3 hours ago, Heartstrings said:

I'd love more info on this too.  My son was trying to do exactly this for years but was never able to get any traction and has decided to go back to school.  

 

Definitely have him see if there is a CitySec group in his area. And look for a B-Sides conference - they are cheap for students in particular - either free or like, $20. Smaller, so he can actually talk to people and get more info, make connections, etc. 

[ktgrok]

3 hours ago, Heartstrings said:

I'd love more info on this too.  My son was trying to do exactly this for years but was never able to get any traction and has decided to go back to school.  

 

 

3 hours ago, maize said:

I just sent you a PM, this is a path I'm interested in pursuing myself.

 

3 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Thank you. I will keep it in mind. It would be a potential line of work I could see myself in. 

 

For all of you, I just remembered my DH has a blog post he wrote about getting into InfoSec - it might answer some questions and give guidance, and then after that if you have other questions let me know and I'll pass them along. Or you can contact him on twitter directly. https://www.eanmeyer.com/p/start.html

[heartlikealion]

Praying for (positive) news this week. They should have received the thank you note. 

I finally made it to the gym again this week. I started using the treadmill on an incline. I think that will help strengthen/stretch my calves in addition to my slant board. 

[maize]

I hope the graphic design job comes through!

In the meantime, here's a customer service job for a homeschool curriculum instruction company; hours aren't ideal but it sounds like better hours could be available in the future:

https://www.indeed.com/m/viewjob?jk=de27b17e37235e47&from=ja&alid=639a91371ef86228dd53a92f&tk=1h6vmjkr5rhhj800&utm_campaign=job_alerts&utm_medium=email&utm_source=jobseeker_emails&rgtk=1h6vmjkr5rhhj800

[AmandaVT]

8 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

Praying for (positive) news this week. They should have received the thank you note. 

I finally made it to the gym again this week. I started using the treadmill on an incline. I think that will help strengthen/stretch my calves in addition to my slant board. 

One thing to try for the PF is heel raises. My PT told me that 90% of PF can be helped with stretching but that I was hyper flexible and actually needed to work to strengthen my ankles, some teeny muscles that go up the side of the legs, and my hip abductors. Before I went to PT, I was doing all of the stretching exercises I had read about online with no relief. Lots of heel raises and lots of work with therabands has helped me.

[heartlikealion]

16 hours ago, AmandaVT said:

One thing to try for the PF is heel raises. My PT told me that 90% of PF can be helped with stretching but that I was hyper flexible and actually needed to work to strengthen my ankles, some teeny muscles that go up the side of the legs, and my hip abductors. Before I went to PT, I was doing all of the stretching exercises I had read about online with no relief. Lots of heel raises and lots of work with therabands has helped me.

I did 6-8 weeks of PT specifically for it but I haven’t been consistent with follow up exercises. I’ll start doing the heel raises, thanks. Tell me more about therabands? It’s probably what I do with a stretcher thing I got on Amazon. 

I sent off letter of appeal to try to get my orthotics approved. They have to review the phone call in which I asked if the insoles would be covered. The rep said yes during that call. 

————

I touched base about the graphic designer job. They said sorry it won’t be til beginning of next week we have a decision. 

[AmandaVT]

OK here are the ones I do: 

crabby walks (3 sets of 20 steps back and forth)

toe yoga (3 sets of 12 on each foot, both big toe and all 4 little guys)

ankles (3 sets of 12 on each foot - I do all of the ones in this video)

heel raises on stairs (3 sets of 12 - I worked up to doing these one leg at a time)

Her biggest tips for me were to focus on putting my weight more over my big toe - I had been leaning more to the outside of my foot due to the pain I was in. So I had to re-learn how to walk correctly (which felt ridiculous but it worked). Her other big tip was to strengthen my ankles and hips as much as I could because it's all connected and stronger ankles/calves/hips helped with the inflammation and pain. 

My right foot started feeling better more quickly than my left, although I ended up with a stress fracture on the outside of my right foot (overcompensating), which is just now slowly healing. I work on my feet all day on concrete crappy floors (public school) so it's been hard. There are also some deep tissue massage techniques you can do to yourself - she would really dig in, but it helps. 

These are very similar to the therabands I have. Start with the lightest (usually yellow) and build up to the heavier ones. 

Hope some of this helps!

 

[heartlikealion]

19 minutes ago, AmandaVT said:

OK here are the ones I do: 

crabby walks (3 sets of 20 steps back and forth)

toe yoga (3 sets of 12 on each foot, both big toe and all 4 little guys)

ankles (3 sets of 12 on each foot - I do all of the ones in this video)

heel raises on stairs (3 sets of 12 - I worked up to doing these one leg at a time)

Her biggest tips for me were to focus on putting my weight more over my big toe - I had been leaning more to the outside of my foot due to the pain I was in. So I had to re-learn how to walk correctly (which felt ridiculous but it worked). Her other big tip was to strengthen my ankles and hips as much as I could because it's all connected and stronger ankles/calves/hips helped with the inflammation and pain. 

My right foot started feeling better more quickly than my left, although I ended up with a stress fracture on the outside of my right foot (overcompensating), which is just now slowly healing. I work on my feet all day on concrete crappy floors (public school) so it's been hard. There are also some deep tissue massage techniques you can do to yourself - she would really dig in, but it helps. 

These are very similar to the therabands I have. Start with the lightest (usually yellow) and build up to the heavier ones. 

Hope some of this helps!

 

Oh cool I own all the bands. I have the plastic and fabric (prefer my fabric ones) 

[heartlikealion]

They didn’t select me but said they have another job in mind for me. I was urged to apply when they post it. I responded that I was interested and will keep an eye out. They told me they will text me when they post the job opening. It’s called Communication & Marketing Specialist. 

In the meantime I’ll drive to take the library test this week. 

[ktgrok]

On 8/2/2023 at 11:30 AM, Heartstrings said:

I'd love more info on this too.  My son was trying to do exactly this for years but was never able to get any traction and has decided to go back to school.  

 

DH said to pass on this link to your son, if he would like to chat with him. Warning - DH is longwinded, lol, but he loves mentoring and helping other people get started in the field. He said just put a note when scheduling that it is someone from the Well Trained Mind or you know me or whatever so he knows what it is about. https://calendly.com/ean-meyer/30min?back=1&month=2023-08&fbclid=IwAR2Sb-_hJdfP7SKPcQnYfBzO8yrWb9-4HuuZj3og6vCNBGxYT-joqQUKlGc

[Heartstrings]

13 minutes ago, ktgrok said:

DH said to pass on this link to your son, if he would like to chat with him. Warning - DH is longwinded, lol, but he loves mentoring and helping other people get started in the field. He said just put a note when scheduling that it is someone from the Well Trained Mind or you know me or whatever so he knows what it is about. https://calendly.com/ean-meyer/30min?back=1&month=2023-08&fbclid=IwAR2Sb-_hJdfP7SKPcQnYfBzO8yrWb9-4HuuZj3og6vCNBGxYT-joqQUKlGc

Thank you so much!! 

[Scarlett]

3 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

They didn’t select me but said they have another job in mind for me. I was urged to apply when they post it. I responded that I was interested and will keep an eye out. They told me they will text me when they post the job opening. It’s called Communication & Marketing Specialist. 

In the meantime I’ll drive to take the library test this week. 

Sounds like a promising lead!

[heartlikealion]

These places are so goofy lol 

[heartlikealion]

Took the study guide/practice test for library. Got 100%. 

Had meeting with lawyer today. I am not holding my breath for much other than clearing my name.

[heartlikealion]

Passed the test (they sent email tonight). There were like 6 of us there… but they said there’s more than one open position and they can keep your test results for 3 years. There were other test times so probably more people that took the test today that I didn’t see. 

I don’t know when they will call us for interviews. 

As usual, parking is the most stressful part of New Orleans lol I’m bookmarking this place. I’ll know all the best parking garages soon 😆

[maize]

Congratulations on passing the test!

[heartlikealion]

Court is end of this week. 

I have a couple more job leads but who knows. I am working with the WIN job center and a company approached them about me. Filling out that app. Benefits weren’t listed. 

[katilac]

5 hours ago, heartlikealion said:

I have a couple more job leads but who knows. I am working with the WIN job center and a company approached them about me. Filling out that app. Benefits weren’t listed. 

Job hunting is the worst. 

[heartlikealion]

This sounds so made up lol

The hotel told me today that the policy on pets has changed this week and now they no longer allow cats. SERIOUSLY? I'm being asked to leave Tuesday as I reserved through Tuesday (to meet the month rate). Coincidentally someone reached out to me last night or early this morning on the roommate app asking if I was still looking for one. Overall she sounds like a good fit for my situation. She lives in a house with one child (dd's age). The biggest obstacle being that she has a dog and cat so I might keep my cat in my room? She doesn't need a roommate, but would like to try the situation and is fine with a week-to-week payment plan. We're going to meet face-to-face Monday (it's harder for her to meet sooner). She is coming up with a figure to charge for rent, but said it wouldn't be as much as the $600/mo rate some are asking. I deactivated my care dot com account as it's not practical right now but I was able to send her a screenshot of my recent background check to put her at ease. 

I have another job interview tomorrow (was given the option on Thursday morning or Friday but Friday is out because I'll be at court/out of town). So now I have to drive all across the dang state on Thursday as the job interview is the opposite direction of the hotel I'm driving to before court. I'll sleep at my dad's tonight to make the interview drive closer. Swing by the hotel sometime tomorrow to check on kitty before I drive to the other hotel a few hours away. 

The job posting that I was told about when I didn't get the graphic design job should be posted soon (supposedly this week). Then I'll apply there. 

The elevator is broken for the second time at the hotel so I didn't lug my stationary bike upstairs like I'd planned to. I was trying to save money on gym trips/make exercise more convenient. Well, I've gone to and from the car and dumpster downstairs today several times so I guess I got a little exercise. Carried 40 bottles of water up four flights of stairs in one haul. My TV signal messed up and the manager said he thinks that the contracts just ended on some of the channels (bye bye, Hallmark boo lol). 

[heartlikealion]

Interview went well but I forgot to ask benefits 🤦🏻‍♀️

the job I really want to apply for hasn’t been posted yet and I’ll probably hear back from today’s job (they plan to have answer next week) before the other place even does interviews. 

Edited August 17, 2023 by heartlikealion

[JustEm]

35 minutes ago, heartlikealion said:

Interview went well but I forgot to ask benefits 🤦🏻‍♀️

the job I really want to apply for hasn’t been posted yet and I’ll probably hear back from today’s job (they plan to have answer next week) before the other place even does interviews. 

Glad the interview went well. Try not to worry about hearing back before the other job posts. There is nothing wrong with applying and interviewing for a position even if you've accepted another position.

[heartlikealion]

5 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

Glad the interview went well. Try not to worry about hearing back before the other job posts. There is nothing wrong with applying and interviewing for a position even if you've accepted another position.

That’s not my style. I don’t like to commit to something and leave within weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️

[heartlikealion]

But maybe if it was a significant difference I could make an exception 😬

I just hate being flakey 

[vonfirmath]

1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

That’s not my style. I don’t like to commit to something and leave within weeks 🤷🏻‍♀️

If this job offers, I'd take it and worry about IF the other posts until after it posts.  A bird in the hand and all that.

 

[ktgrok]

1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

But maybe if it was a significant difference I could make an exception 😬

I just hate being flakey 

It's not flaky, it's business. They can always bump salary/benefits/etc to try to keep you. But you owe it to yourself and your kids to put yourself first. A company would have no issue letting you go after only a couple weeks if they had to do so for financial reasons, so it is equally okay for you to leave for financial reasons. They are a business, and it is a job, not a work of mercy. 

[*LC]

Good luck with court tomorrow.

[heartlikealion]

I thought it was in the morning but it’s actually in the afternoon. It got changed so much lol. I don’t think we’ll be in court long. 

I have a nagging feeling they won’t even post the job tomorrow. I agree, if I get offered the other not to stress about what ifs. 

I was going to ignore court norms and wear black but I managed to find other dress clothes today that aren’t black. I need dress clothes, anyway. 

[heartlikealion]

Ooooohhh weeeeeee there’s too much to say lol 

Started day at wrong courthouse — I was told wrong. Had I known that I would have slept free at my old neighbor’s 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

xh brought ds to testify against me. Judge would not agree to that. It was a he said/she said account of me telling the kids to be mindful of potential issues with inappropriate touching (the wrestling between dd and stepbro). They tried to say I used words I did not use. But the judge did not want to put ds in that position and I applaud him for that. 

The ruling was we both did not act great but he ruled neither of us in contempt. We didn’t even get to modify the visitation. He said my 45 min drive from hotel to dd’s school was no big deal because he’s from the country (of course I got a country guy that can’t relate lol … he also doesn’t like cats and couldn’t get staying in the hotel for the cat). But he did make fair points in other areas. I asked for weekends in lieu of Thursdays. I would still lose nights but that was not approved.

Xh wants me to have only supervised visits at my dad’s — even after I get an apartment!! Like only ever see the kids there with my dad home. The judge said so there were no issues all summer with her weeks and you want me to force supervised visits now? No (thank you!) 

He was reprimanded once at work and we got the letter which said nothing about me or faculty housing but apparently my aunt (who acted on her own!) caused a big fuss on campus with her emails etc. I had to state 9x (!) that I had nothing to do with that. I didn’t egg her on to call/email. In fact I was upset and let her know when she said she had. My emails were in court and I never denied those (when I inquired on the policy to see if the woman & child could move in). But my aunt’s actions threw me under the bus. Despite her name/email on them, it made me look bad. I can’t tell her anything now! 

I’ll say it here on the board now that it’s out in the open — after certain questioning I needed to share I am unemployed. I was laid on end of June and notified 1 day ahead. So I had no paycheck for July. My unemployment isn’t much and I’ve been charging my hotel to my cc. I can’t take pt work like a random babysitting job etc as it screws up my unemployment. I meet with the WIN job center every 2 weeks and report searches, interviews etc. Everything is documented. I did not get unemployment for a couple weeks… the first week you’re in the system is a waiting period and you’re not paid. They generally do not backdate pay either. So I had nothing. 

I’m still waiting on SNAP. 

I was rejected for Medicaid because no one under 18 lives in my home. 

There’s so much more…

The judge said what are your plans??? I began to say hopefully I have a job in a few weeks and he cut me off to say HOPE is not a plan and I thought what kind of question is it??? 

[Rosie_0801]

Yeah...

I'm so sorry.

Reality sucks.

[heartlikealion]

I know that it could’ve been much worse but during the trial, it was super stressful

[heartlikealion]

Neither party was awarded any money for attorney fees, or travel costs. I never had my hopes up that high for that, anyway.

[heartlikealion]

I have come a long way and this photo made me feel better today… that was a week I was supposed to go to court, but we ended up doing a settlement and that was the outfit I bought for court. 

[Heartstrings]

Family court sucks.   I had hoped he’d at last ream your ex for moving so far away.   He’s put you in a bad position without caring.  I don’t know how he can’t see the parental alienation happening.  Moving far away, trying to get DS to testify, asking for supervised visits.   Ugh.  So sorry.  

[heartlikealion]

5 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

Family court sucks.   I had hoped he’d at last ream your ex for moving so far away.   He’s put you in a bad position without caring.  I don’t know how he can’t see the parental alienation happening.  Moving far away, trying to get DS to testify, asking for supervised visits.   Ugh.  So sorry.  

Judge did say he was not a fan of big moves but xh claimed he did look for employment closer first. And judge agreed that if either of us move far again we are responsible for all transportation so “get settled here” lol 

I’m just happy ds had to wait outside of the courtroom. 

At one point I cried just briefly but I don’t think it was a negative. 

Mostly the judge did make fair points on both sides. There were a couple times we even laughed. OH MY GOSH he brought up my tinder… but the judge cut him off. Yes, dd saw my tinder once and took interest and we joked about it but I don’t know where xh was going with his story 

[katilac]

1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:

 The judge said what are your plans??? I began to say hopefully I have a job in a few weeks and he cut me off to say HOPE is not a plan and I thought what kind of question is it??? 

The stupid kind, but I think he wanted you to specifically state, or even repeat, something like, "I will continue to meet with the WIN job center every 2 weeks for advisement, plus job hunt and network on my own, and I will find a good job." 

I mean, wtf does he think you're planning? My plans are to get a job, your honor, and I'll go about it in the usual ways. 

[heartlikealion]

11 minutes ago, katilac said:

The stupid kind, but I think he wanted you to specifically state, or even repeat, something like, "I will continue to meet with the WIN job center every 2 weeks for advisement, plus job hunt and network on my own, and I will find a good job." 

I mean, wtf does he think you're planning? My plans are to get a job, your honor, and I'll go about it in the usual ways. 

Maybe he wanted me to say max out my credit card if I have to 🤣