Binalina Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Ok, I've been MIA from this board for a long time but you ladies are the first ones I thought of when I decided I really needed to get this off my chest. I have really lost my enthusiasm for schooling. I bought all this great material this year and have really not gotten to anything but math and language arts. DH said he would help me with History which I had a hard time getting done last year and he has helped me a whole 2 times so far. I haven't been prepping for lessons because I just can't drag myself to do it. I have 3 girls 8,7,7 and a boy age 4. I feel like my son is bored and neglected during school and after school I'm too busy or tired to do anything with. I have no motivation to set up activities for him ugh that sounds horrible. The girls fight me every step of the way for school and when I am teaching they are either fidgeting or off in lala land and half the time I think they didn't even hear me. I wonder if it's me because I am less than excited to teach as I said. They get attitudes if I correct them and if the make mistakes on their papers. I just can't do this uphill battle anymore. I told them this morning that I really need more cooperation or I just can't do homeschooling next year. Maybe that was wrong but it was said calmly and not at a stressfull moment. I really love my kids and I love alot of things about HS but I don't think I am giving them a great education. I worry about them not having any science or history. They are great readers and on target for math but I know that's not enough. I feel like I have failed them (crying)...... Help - advice please Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Free Indeed Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Well, looking at your signature you have an awful lot on your plate. Please read this article https://www.triviumpursuit.com/articles/ten_to_do_before_ten.php and if you want to discuss it you can PM me. ;) I would suggest something a little more relaxed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binalina Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 In retrospect I should add - I am terribly distracted right now because I am trying for another baby (I know that makes no sense now) and that is taking up all my thoughts. So I am a week away from getting my period or finding out I pg. I recently had a miscarriage Nov. 12th @ 8weeks along. I definitely am a hormonal mess and have been since the beginning of school in Sept. I haven't really gotten my act together since. I am considering asking DH if we can put them back in Private school next year but that will cost $12,680 for just the girls. I would rather keep DS home but I think DH would want to send him as well if we went that direction (add $4,000) Yikes! Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 :grouphug: Can you take a breather from school over Christmas time to just work on discipline & attitudes? It sounds like that's the crux of the trouble. Sorry to tell ya' - but that won't change by putting them into ps;) Maybe give your ds some "school-time" before starting with your dd's. That way, he gets mom at her best. Your dd's are doing good with the 3R's:D That's great! Can you work history and science in as family read-alouds? Dvd course? Keep it simple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Honesty I think you are trying to do too much with them. They are still quite little. My 8 year old does one page of penmanship, one small Bible lesson, one page of math (Horizons) and phonics/reading work. If he focuses he can be done in an hour but it usually takes him 2-3. We won't even consider history or science for another year. Foreign language is even farther off. Yes it would be great to do more with him but he moves so slow and I have other kids to also juggle and simply that is as much as we can handle in a day. Also I do very little "teaching" once they learn how to read even a little. My number one criteria when picking out curriculum is if it is relatively easy for the student to figure out on their own. I'm available for questions and I can spend about 2 minutes explaining a new concept but with a toddler and a newborn and a K learning to read, I can't spend large blocks of times "teaching" information to children who are capable of reading the information themselves. SO even though you might really like the curriculum you are using, if you don't have the time or energy to implement it then it really isn't that good for you. Maybe try looking for something where you can be a bit more hands off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 (edited) Honestly, they are still so young. I wouldn't stress about the history and science. On my list for dc during k-4th I had an order about what got dropped. I didn't plan it that way, it is just how it worked out. science Latin history Some times all history was was dd reading SOTW and writing a narration. Sometimes she also did map work and read extra stuff during her SSR. Occasionally she would do a project. I think she is just fine. All my friends kids think she is advanced in her learning(not necessarily in her abilities - KWIM?) I would worry less and read to them more. (I need to take my own advice) For me during this age it is all about basic facts. Phonics, math and comprehension. These will be the mainstay for any higher learning. I also agree about taking a break and working on attitudes. I am actually doing that right now. My first-graders made me so mad I sent them to their beds so I could calm down. LOL. Take a break. Study something fun like the origin(sp?) of the Christmas tree or Kwanza or something and work on discipline for yourself and your kiddos. HTH :) ETA: I am so sorry about your loss. Yes it is affecting you and you need to let it affect you. Please feel free to PM me if you need to. Edited December 9, 2008 by newlifemom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Also I do very little "teaching" once they learn how to read even a little. My number one criteria when picking out curriculum is if it is relatively easy for the student to figure out on their own. I'm available for questions and I can spend about 2 minutes explaining a new concept but with a toddler and a newborn and a K learning to read, I can't spend large blocks of times "teaching" information to children who are capable of reading the information themselves. SO even though you might really like the curriculum you are using, if you don't have the time or energy to implement it then it really isn't that good for you. Maybe try looking for something where you can be a bit more hands off. :iagree: I agree. My 6 and 8 year old children do almost all of their work independently. I like to do science and history with them but I often don't have time. They are capable to doing both on their own if needed though. When the younger one has questions he askes either his sister or myself. When my daughter has questions, she either asks me or uses the teacher's manual to see if she is correct. The only thing that I really have to do is give spelling tests occasionally and do read alouds (our literature doubles as our bedtime stories). This works for us because I choose curriculum that isn't teacher intensive and because we have a well-disciplined home. When it is time to do school, they must do it and it has to be done within a certain time frame or they miss their free time scheduled immediately afterwards. I also scheduled our school work at times of the day that work well for everyone which means we don't start school until 1:30pm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 If the piano lessons are in the home, keep them, if they are out of the home, drop them. Dance and gymnastics have to be earned through cooperation during lessons. Make a chart or whatever they will take seriously. Don't feel one bit of guilt dropping those if they didn't put in any effort. Also, since you have the financial means to consider $16,680 a year in tuition...you can feel guilt-free about putting some of that into buying a do-it-themselves subject or two online or where ever. Do history as family day vacations DH has to get involved with. To historical site, museums, etc. Do science at museums, the zoo, an aquarium, etc as a family. As for your son, give him one-on-one time before lessons start. If you're able, find a few minutes during a time the girls are working on their lessons independently to give him more attention. Try to start a routine of this happening midway through the lesson time. The rest he can survive through. He can have his own stuff to sit with you all and do quietly for some of it if he chooses. As you can tell by my signature, I have some experience with little ones during school hours.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binalina Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 I really appreciate the responses. Newlifemom- your ETA mademe cry - you are right. I need to let it affect me. I have tried not to. I think we do need to take a step back and just read and have some time relearning some core discipline basics that have slipped in the last 3 months. I actually did just pull gymnastics from my dd with the worst attitude. She was shocked. Piano is in the home and I think it helps with structure so I will keep that. I may drop Girl Scouts if my oldest DD doesn't show some effort. We have no activities in the mornings and that was on purpose this year to give us less stress. The side effect of that is an abyss of free time to frame and make sure is productive. I've become lazy - yuck- I am not a lazy person. I might add self absorbed too- :ack2: I am going to try to give DS the first chunk of time in the morning and see how that goes. I need to insist on DDs working independently more often. Many times they just don't read the directions, make silly mistakes and do sloppy work. I need to crack down on following directions and thinking for themselves. They can do the work but just choose to depend on me and I enable them. I am going to read over the replies again because they were really helpful to me. Again I really appreciate your replies. I am going to take breather - read to them and regroup. DH just came home and I had a talk with him about all of this. He listened and didn't criticize me or try to fix it. I am so thankful. I feel lot better. I've been holding this in for what seems like a long time. I think I was afraid of admitting failure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chloe Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 I agree. The only thing I do with my 10 and 9 yo's is correct their math and edit their writing, and go over that with them. I do more facilitating than actual teaching. They are doing very well. I was worried about my ds (9) because we haven't done any formal writing and very little grammar. He's mostly done copywork and dictation from excellent literature. Well he's writing a book right now that is blowing me away. I mean, it's not best-seller material or anything, but I'm thrilled with his good use of grammar and paragraphs. The sentences flow well. In the past he would write things that were short and choppy. I really believe lots of reading quality literature, copywork from quality literature and getting the basic math concepts and facts down are what's most important in the first four years. History and science can wait until middle school years. Give yourself a break. Your dc seem to be doing well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 I agree that you can let some things go. I didn't do history with any of my dc at 6! Math and Language Arts are the two basics, and once they can read on their own well, then so many other things can be added in. As for lesson planning, I don't do much of that as I'm a "do what comes next" person. I do have to do some now that they're older. I spend an inordinant amount of time planning what we're going to use to learn, however. I am quite lenient in the early years, middle of the road in the middle years and rather draconian in the late middle-school years, and will be draconian in high school. My kids have learned so much by reading on their own and by playing. fwiw, two of my kids are academically advanced, and one is in transition from being behind (late eyesight development and is far sighted so it was harder for him to get going on reading) to being ahead based on his rate of progress at 8. I don't have a sig line, but my dc are 13.5, 10.5 & 8.5. I would have given up and quit long ago if I hadn't taken what I thought I ought to do when I first started homeschooling and learned to find the right balance in our house. The goal is a stellar education by the time they graduate for me, but I found they got more waiting for history, etc, than by doing it all when they were little. The most fun I've had lately is watching my ds, who for 2 years insisted he couldn't read even though he could, somewhat, to loving to read (he calls himself a bookworm, although technically he's not ;)). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binalina Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 Most of my cirr. is open and go. I don't have to gather any materials or make up work sheets. I guess it's just the execution that we are faultering on. That has to do with alot of factors. I am a big believer in play and I love that my kids get tons of playtime being HS. That is what I do not want to give up for them. I want them to be KIDS but I need to temper that with a foundation of discipline and a servant's heart. I have lost that somewhere along the way. All the stuff in my siggie is not getting done. We are only doing Language arts and math, piano, girl scouts, and dance right now. It's a relief to me that many of you said don't worry about History and Science so much. I like the idea of just letting them get lost in books that interest them. Heaven knows I have soooooo many good history books from Winter Promised that I haven't even opened becasue I've been so set on doing it the "right" way. I have toyed with the idea of just pulling out some that we like and reading away regardless of what the planner says. I might just do that now that you ladies gave me permission.:tongue_smilie: I thought I was getting out of my box this year with the Cirr. I chose. Seems I have a way to go but that is to be expected I guess. I just want to get it "RIGHT" for them. Thanks again for all your advice. I also looked up some other threads on here and found alot of great advice. I really just needed a bit of encouragement. This site is so awesome. I wish I could thank SWB personally. Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
proudmamma Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 For those of you that have your kids work mostly independent...you said you chose curriculum that allows them to do their work without you most of the time. Can you all share what curriculum you use that works for this type of homeschooling please. I am all :bigear: !! Hope this helps the origninal poster and is not hijacking your thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binalina Posted December 10, 2008 Author Share Posted December 10, 2008 Proud Mamma Not at all. I will be interested to hear as well. I got alot of help today and encouragement that I needed. Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunshine Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 In retrospect I should add - I am terribly distracted right now because I am trying for another baby (I know that makes no sense now) and that is taking up all my thoughts. So I am a week away from getting my period or finding out I pg. I recently had a miscarriage Nov. 12th @ 8weeks along. I definitely am a hormonal mess and have been since the beginning of school in Sept. I haven't really gotten my act together since. I am considering asking DH if we can put them back in Private school next year but that will cost $12,680 for just the girls. I would rather keep DS home but I think DH would want to send him as well if we went that direction (add $4,000) Yikes! Angie :grouphug::grouphug:Hug you!! I pray you get pregnant. Just do the math and English. Quit beating yourself up. They are so young and your heart is with little ones. It is not like they are graduating next year!! Teach them to read and you read to them. Put on a (gasp!! should I say it??) video about science or the earth or animals. Put on some history songs, geography songs while you fold clothes... Sit outside and look at the leaves, grass, snow whatever or wherever you are. They are young, you are young, it will be okay. They don't have to know latin right now or how to multiply, that is in 3 or so years, have a baby or two, look at the night sky and kiss some sugar lips on your young'uns!!! be a mommy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I like what everyone else has said...I just wanted to add that you need to take care of yourself, get extra sleep, eat well and take some supplements (like a pregnancy multi vitamin). Magnesium might be good if you are stressed which you sound like you are. Take care of momma, and then it will flow on to everyone else. (Put your own oxygen mask on first, and all that ). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
at the beach Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Ok, I've been MIA from this board for a long time but you ladies are the first ones I thought of when I decided I really needed to get this off my chest. I have really lost my enthusiasm for schooling. I bought all this great material this year and have really not gotten to anything but math and language arts. DH said he would help me with History which I had a hard time getting done last year and he has helped me a whole 2 times so far. I haven't been prepping for lessons because I just can't drag myself to do it. I have 3 girls 8,7,7 and a boy age 4. I feel like my son is bored and neglected during school and after school I'm too busy or tired to do anything with. I have no motivation to set up activities for him ugh that sounds horrible. The girls fight me every step of the way for school and when I am teaching they are either fidgeting or off in lala land and half the time I think they didn't even hear me. I wonder if it's me because I am less than excited to teach as I said. They get attitudes if I correct them and if the make mistakes on their papers. I just can't do this uphill battle anymore. I told them this morning that I really need more cooperation or I just can't do homeschooling next year. Maybe that was wrong but it was said calmly and not at a stressfull moment. I really love my kids and I love alot of things about HS but I don't think I am giving them a great education. I worry about them not having any science or history. They are great readers and on target for math but I know that's not enough. I feel like I have failed them (crying)...... Help - advice please Angie Angie, You say that your kids are great readers and on target with math but you feel that's not enough. I think that is fantastic and it is enough at their age. You haven't failed them. You really can let formal science and history go for now IMO. Also, remember, if they are in school, they might also be off in la-la land. Here are some ideas to add some quality learning to your days with little effort: A few lines of copywork from things they are reading daily. Only make them do a bit but require it be their best effort, then gradually add more as they can handle it. Math games that they can play with each other. Readers for them and you reading to them. Ask them to narrate to you. Have them retell you the story in their own words or retell the paragraph or chapter. Whatever they can handle. Lots of nature, and this can be counted for science. How about some Dover nature coloring books? While they color, they learn the birds and how to identify them or wildflowers or whatever. And coloring them in with the right colors helps them really learn the information. And while they are coloring, how about having classical music on or SOWT CD's? How about choosing one artist every twelve weeks and having one piece of that artist's work as your screensaver and changing it every two weeks to expose your kids to art with very little effort? Read one poem a day to all of them. My kids have come to love poetry as a result of doing this. Finally, can you get outside with them? To the park, the backyard? Go on a walk? I really think getting out of doors can work wonders. Okay, can you tell I am a Charlotte Mason fan? ;) And if I can at all encourage you, please take a look at amblesideonline.org. CM's original writings are available online at AO. I have learned so much from CM. Habit training is especially important. You really have a full plate with four little ones. They are so young yet. Enjoy your journey with them and try to let go of the fear you aren't doing enough. Again, if they are reading, doing math, and writing a bit at this age, you are doing fine. Best wishes, Anita Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 One thing that helped me was to change my lesson schedule. I broke our year up into 28 weeks of lessons and during those weeks we only do lessons M,T,Th,F. Wednesday they do educational games together and learn a ton and there's little work on my part. Also, those 28 weeks are broken up into 2 or 3 week blocks with Exploration Weeks afterward. On those weeks I ONLY do Geography, History, Science, Art, etc. I do do those during our lesson days. It's too much. Also, on our Wednesday game days, I do learning stuff with my 3 1/2yo twins. They get extra time with me on Wednesdays when I'm not as stressed out. You can divide your skill subject goals up into as many or few weeks you want for lesson weeks. I just divide the number of lessons per curriculum or pages per workbook by 112 days. The Exploration weeks and game days count for attendance for those who have to do school 180 days or 36 weeks for their state. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam L in Mid Tenn Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I have felt like throwing in the towel several times. Maybe many times. But, now that my girls are high schoolers.... I am so glad I kept homeschooling. I see them blossoming in their own uniques talents, abilities, interests. If they were in a classroom there would be NO TIME to blossom. For several years we had life's hard situations that greatly imposed upon our schooling. Lots of subjects did not get done. And they certainly weren't done the WTM way. Life became surviving the day, not the planned classical education that I had dreamed of. If you'll search of one of my posts, you'll see that I always struggle with school between Thanksgiving and New Year's. there are just too many distractions that take attention from really getting lessons done well. I think most every homeschooler struggles this time of year. Some families don't do any school in December at all. Your children are still young enough for you to completely drop academics this month. If you need to count school days, then read some books, do crafts, sing along with christmas carol CDs, go to a museum, watch documentaries, bake cookies, etc. My point is that this is the wrong time to make a huge decision to stop homeschooling altogether. My favorite holiday is New Years. Because the year is fresh. I can start over. I usually take a couple of days in December to truthfully gage our school. What is getting done? What is not getting done? I usually change the schedule and that gives some freshness to school. New pencils, new notebooks also give some freshness to school. At the age of your children, basic math, some phonics and reading, and some wonderful read alouds are all the school they really need. You might want to try just those subjects in January and then re-evaluate for the spring semester. Hugs, Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 All the stuff in my siggie is not getting done. We are only doing Language arts and math, piano, girl scouts, and dance right now. Angie This is a GREAT combination. Piano does a great deal for the development of the cerebellum, which coordinates motor control. 90 percent of that part of the brain is devoted to the fine movements of the face & fingers. Kids that study music (any music) tend to do better in academics, so this is great groundwork. Dance is good for gross motor skills, which are also very important for neurological development and academic learning. Carla Hannaford discusses the importance of whole body exercise in learning in her excellent book Smart Moves: Why Learning is Not All in Your Head. Kids had fewer behaviour problems overall back when I was a kid (you may bring out the violin if you'd like) because of a number of factors. Some of the more important ones were more physical activity and play time than ps kids, at least in this area, get now. Plus less TV watching, etc. Plus, books on tape/CD are excellent for kids, and they can listen while building with Legos or drawing. Or you can listen to them while driving. This is a great way to increase vocabulary, etc. But don't be surprised if they use words but don't understand them. When my ds does this (my dd's used to do this when they're younger) I simply teach him. My dc have large vocabularies, mostly due to book reading and general conversation, not to me doing vocabulay lists from Grade 1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 Might I gently suggest that there is no reason you couldn't put your kids in school for a while if you truly feel like you are not doing them justice. I agree with what many others have said, that it sounds like they are doing fine, but I must confess that I worry a bit when someone says that they are having a hard time getting around to doing school with their kids. Please know, I'm not judging you and maybe you are doing a GREAT job, but all the responses so far have told you that you are doing fine, etc. I think if you feel that you are not doing a good job, it is a viable option to consider putting them in school. I will pray that you and your dh can be of one heart and mind on this....and that you will get pregnant. I'm very sorry about your miscarriage!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhblue5 Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 Whatever you do, don't quit Girl Scouts! You'll have another little girl very sad to see her leave... Besides how much school will you do at 6:00 p.m. at night? :) Oh, and another little girl who wants to go to your house to play during that time while big sisters are at Girl Scouts. Honestly, you've gotten a lot of great suggestions here! I like the play with ds idea first and the getting back on track with discipline and such. Also, getting yourself on track with what you want to get done daily or weekly might help, too. Love ya! Cris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 The first thing I thought of when I read your post was: Heart of Dakota. Your children are at the perfect age for it. It is complete, it is organized, it is open and go... you can combine. You can add anything you want in on top of it- but if you don't- you are still covered. Most of all- *I* and *my kids* think it is really, really enjoyable. They love their school- truly. It is not overwhelming in any way. Just a thought... Hope it helps! Rebecca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Binalina Posted December 11, 2008 Author Share Posted December 11, 2008 I thank you all whole heartedly for your thoughts and suggestions. I feel like I was free falling and I just got caught with the WTM net. Your suggestions made me remember how much I love learning with my kids. I forgot to let it be fun and engaging. I get too wrapped up in - let's get it done. We are going to switch gears and I am looking forward to it. Laurel - boy I could've just eaten your post with a spoon! You have so many good ideas and I am going to use them. Rebecca - I am going to ceck out Heart of Dakota Thank you Cris- Oh, don't worry. I'm not going to pull GS today. I don't think it is hindering school. Olivia LOVES it. I just need leverage to help me get some obedience back in the house. If I did pull GS it would only be for a week or 2. WTM Mindy - thank you for your honesty. I agree that if someone is not doing a good job then they should not HS. I do sit down with them 4-5 days a week and get the basics done consistently. I was saying that I don't get around to planning things ahead of time and that makes for a tougher day. I think I just need a boost - a change, a new pespective. Anita- Yes! I love CM and really I think that is where my heart is. My brains says WTM and my heart says CM Karin - thanks for the encouragement. I agree about piano and dance. I think they are so important and help alot with behavior. Peela- You made me laugh!!! Thanks OK - DD is dragging me off computer to go to Library. Truly BEGGING! We are going to FEAST on some books!!! Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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