DawnM Posted July 16, 2021 Author Share Posted July 16, 2021 1 hour ago, kbutton said: The church should get a hearing aid thing for their sound system. Unless they are totally broke, that’s just standard these days. If his hearing aids aren’t working well, he probably needs either a more motivated audiologist (many really do NOT seek out specialized solutions), or you/he may need some tips for learning to work with them. There are places that educate on these issues. He asked and was very surprised they didn't have them, but as I mentioned, there just aren't elderly at this church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 20 minutes ago, DawnM said: He asked and was very surprised they didn't have them, but as I mentioned, there just aren't elderly at this church. That’s so frustrating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted July 16, 2021 Share Posted July 16, 2021 1 hour ago, kbutton said: The church should get a hearing aid thing for their sound system. Unless they are totally broke, that’s just standard these days. If his hearing aids aren’t working well, he probably needs either a more motivated audiologist (many really do NOT seek out specialized solutions), or you/he may need some tips for learning to work with them. There are places that educate on these issues. Also, make sure he doesn't need to have his ears checked by an ENT - a good wax cleaning. We went to the hearing aid place last week, his ears are full of wax 😝! Have an appt for a cleaning on Wednesday and then back to the hearing aid place for an adjustment. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 I think this Sunday we will all just do online church while we think about all of this. We aren't tied to this church. We just started going when the churches started opening back up. It is where our FS goes to preschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 27 minutes ago, mlktwins said: Also, make sure he doesn't need to have his ears checked by an ENT - a good wax cleaning. We went to the hearing aid place last week, his ears are full of wax 😝! Have an appt for a cleaning on Wednesday and then back to the hearing aid place for an adjustment. I think one of our biggest issues is that we both work full time. Right now we don't have anyone to take him to 3 different places during working hours. But that might be a really good way for us to Segway into a "helper" Hmmmm...... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 2 hours ago, DawnM said: Nope and one wasn't recommended at the doctor's office. He needs 2 more hip replacements. I have found often I have to ask for PT. Sometimes strenuously. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 12 hours ago, PeterPan said: No. If he doesn't like your church, he can watch a service on tv. That's what happens when you live in a nursing home or assisted living anyway. Yikes, no it isn't! I'm not saying you didn't have that experience, but it is in no way the norm ime. Around here, there is generally planned transport to various churches every Sunday for those willing and able to do that. There are also live services on site at many places, although they may not be in your denomination. I have family in homes across three states, and all of them do their best to get ya to church on Sunday. 3 hours ago, DawnM said: He asked and was very surprised they didn't have them, but as I mentioned, there just aren't elderly at this church. Because they don't provide any support to the elderly! Dawn, can you send him some places via Uber? If you find a driver you like, you can make arrangements for regular driving. I know he has mobility issues, just pondering possibilities. It would seem like the transport for the elderly would be accustomed to that? Maybe ask around and see what others have experienced. Does your church oppose drinking? Because the local bar can be a great place for seniors to while away an afternoon. Once you get in, you pretty much stay seated. He doesn't have to drink alcohol himself, they will have sodas and fruit juices and whatnot, Many years ago, my cousin was a driver for an older person. When he took them places, he would usually just wait for them. They liked having a regular person plus someone who would be waiting in case they decided to leave early. It worked well; they didn't pay a fortune but he could use the wait time to study. Definitely hook up with elder services locally to find out everything available, and to get advice and support. If you don't have a good one, see if you have Catholic Charities. They are generally familiar with all available resources, and you do not have to be Catholic to get help. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 10 hours ago, Harriet Vane said: I have found often I have to ask for PT. Sometimes strenuously. I can bring it up, not sure dad will even go for it, but we will see. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 and dad will stay with us, it isn't like I am saying we are going to move him again. I just worry. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 18 hours ago, DawnM said: I would have to facilitate getting him from his door to the van anyway as he can't walk that far without taking about 10 min. and being completely out of breath. For this part, get him a wheelchair that can be easily folded and put in the trunk, so someone else can just wheel him right out to the van and then into his destination. A volunteer or paid driver should be able to do that. I would think a van driver taking people to the senior center would be accustomed to handling wheelchairs. By all means pursue the PT, but the social stuff is just too important to leave waiting for PT, kwim? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 4 minutes ago, Innisfree said: For this part, get him a wheelchair that can be easily folded and put in the trunk, so someone else can just wheel him right out to the van and then into his destination. A volunteer or paid driver should be able to do that. I would think a van driver taking people to the senior center would be accustomed to handling wheelchairs. By all means pursue the PT, but the social stuff is just too important to leave waiting for PT, kwim? We have a wheelchair like that. The walkway to get from the driveway to his place is long. We got a quote to put in a circular drive but it would have been $15k more and we just couldn't do it as the rest was already so expensive. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 14 hours ago, DawnM said: He asked and was very surprised they didn't have them, but as I mentioned, there just aren't elderly at this church. Maybe if they did have the hearing assistance, they would have more seniors! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 10 hours ago, katilac said: Because they don't provide any support to the elderly! Dawn, can you send him some places via Uber? If you find a driver you like, you can make arrangements for regular driving. I know he has mobility issues, just pondering possibilities. It would seem like the transport for the elderly would be accustomed to that? Maybe ask around and see what others have experienced. I agree. As for church, if you can find one for him that does support the elderly (or is just...considerate), most "with it" churches these days have outdoor greeters that look out for people with mobility issues, moms with darting kids or wads of baby stuff, or just anybody on a slippery day, and they help them in. Our old church actually has two drop-off areas right by the door where someone will help you out of your car and an abundance of handicapped parking. 2 hours ago, Innisfree said: For this part, get him a wheelchair that can be easily folded and put in the trunk, so someone else can just wheel him right out to the van and then into his destination. A volunteer or paid driver should be able to do that. I would think a van driver taking people to the senior center would be accustomed to handling wheelchairs. By all means pursue the PT, but the social stuff is just too important to leave waiting for PT, kwim? I agree. I have seen these kinds of transports taking people to the doctor's office, and they do this kind of stuff all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 1 hour ago, ScoutTN said: Maybe if they did have the hearing assistance, they would have more seniors! I agree, but I think they want to cater for younger families as they are a new church. And that area really doesn't have many seniors. Like I said, we aren't tied to that church, we just are attending because of the help they have shown us with our foster son. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 Do you know any college students or young moms you could hire as drivers? The last few counties we have lived in have all had point to point rides for the elderly, but if your community doesn’t, I think it would totally be worth it to hire a driver…and from there accustom your dad to the idea of a personal helper so you can bring in someone to help with his personal care. 🙂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 Another idea … our area has several adult “day cares” for seniors (horrible name). I’m not suggesting your dad needs one, at all, but most of them say they will help arrange transportation. Since our area has no public or dedicated senior transportation, the “help” consists of a list of private companies who do transportation for seniors, which includes getting them from the house into the facility. I think our local Agency on Aging has the same list. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 (edited) Honestly, I would look into both social opportunities and having someone come in and help and possibly drive (or something like a mobility service). You will be returning to work in the fall, have this foster little, have young adults that aren't beyond parenting, etc. I would want him used to socializing and receiving care from others before it becomes an emergency situation. I just think it would be hard on you (and him) to have him depending on you 100% for everything. It would also be good to be really familiar with the resources available for elders in your community. Our metro has senior mobility services, daytime programs. etc. I'd look into those. I know plenty of people who had a GREAT experience moving into assisted living and their health and socialization greatly improved. My grandmother was WAY healthier and more active after moving to assisted living and had a lot more "fun". The thing is a lot of older people have depression or anxiety and have no desire to work on it and are just set on their ways, so I get it won't work for everyone. Covid has made things really hard at many of these places when things were very locked down. I just wanted to throw that in there because we've seen it be a positive in our family. It's better to move into one before heavy care is needed because they are then less likely to need nursing care. I think it's wonderful the OP was able to bring her father into her home and remodel for it but not every family can do that and be directly involved with day to day hands on care of an elder. So that was not at all in response to the OPs situation. Edited July 17, 2021 by FuzzyCatz 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbutton Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 (edited) I am not sure if they can transport (I think they must be able to), but Home Instead is a chain that provides non-nursing assistance to people who need it. What they offer might vary from caregiver to caregiver though--some might be comfortable taking someone to the store, for instance, but other caregivers might want to only come in to clean and be a companion. ETA: I looked at the site for a local branch, and they have different kinds of caregivers that offer all kinds of stuff, including transportation. Edited July 17, 2021 by kbutton Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 27 minutes ago, kbutton said: I am not sure if they can transport (I think they must be able to), but Home Instead is a chain that provides non-nursing assistance to people who need it. What they offer might vary from caregiver to caregiver though--some might be comfortable taking someone to the store, for instance, but other caregivers might want to only come in to clean and be a companion. We have a company called Visiting Angels that offers similar services. The caregivers provide company, light housework, and transportation to appointments etc. They would also assist their client in getting to the car. A friend is working for them; she is paired with one old lady, so no turnover and changing persons. We're a small town, I bet there's something similar available for the OP. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted July 18, 2021 Share Posted July 18, 2021 5 hours ago, regentrude said: We have a company called Visiting Angels that offers similar services. The caregivers provide company, light housework, and transportation to appointments etc. They would also assist their client in getting to the car. A friend is working for them; she is paired with one old lady, so no turnover and changing persons. My 84 yo mom has a similar service and her caregiver has turned out to be a nice friend. Super helpful bc neither I nor the transportation provided by her place can do all that she needs. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted July 18, 2021 Author Share Posted July 18, 2021 17 hours ago, FuzzyCatz said: Honestly, I would look into both social opportunities and having someone come in and help and possibly drive (or something like a mobility service). You will be returning to work in the fall, have this foster little, have young adults that aren't beyond parenting, etc. I would want him used to socializing and receiving care from others before it becomes an emergency situation. I just think it would be hard on you (and him) to have him depending on you 100% for everything. It would also be good to be really familiar with the resources available for elders in your community. Our metro has senior mobility services, daytime programs. etc. I'd look into those. I know plenty of people who had a GREAT experience moving into assisted living and their health and socialization greatly improved. My grandmother was WAY healthier and more active after moving to assisted living and had a lot more "fun". The thing is a lot of older people have depression or anxiety and have no desire to work on it and are just set on their ways, so I get it won't work for everyone. Covid has made things really hard at many of these places when things were very locked down. I just wanted to throw that in there because we've seen it be a positive in our family. It's better to move into one before heavy care is needed because they are then less likely to need nursing care. I think it's wonderful the OP was able to bring her father into her home and remodel for it but not every family can do that and be directly involved with day to day hands on care of an elder. So that was not at all in response to the OPs situation. I am working most of the summer. I am working now. And now I am sick. I think the 97 degree heat on Thur, having to be outside all day with kid, did me in. Then I started feeling better, so I went to a pool party yesterday, outside, in the 97 degree heat, and I am sick again. trying to drink a lot today, but my throat hurts and I am coughing a lot. UGH. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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