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18mo old dd wants to nurse!?!?


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Um...WHAT do I do about THAT??? She's been weaned since right after I got pg, around 8mos old. She's recently shown interest in baby nursing, pointing, etc. I explained it to her, but now she's pointing, crying, & trying to push baby out of my lap.

 

Usually, she's happy to sit on one knee while I hold baby on the other, feeding him or not. I've tried to be extra careful about spending time w/ her, holding her, etc. And she's *very* sweet w/ baby, offering to share her toys, her sippy cup, kissing him, insisting on hugging him as soon as he's awake.

 

So while there's probably some level of jealousy or something, I tend to think it's more curiosity. She's also teething, which makes her a little more clingy & cranky. I'm just dumbfounded! :confused:

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Awww. My toddler children have all done this when baby is nursing. I usually say "just a minute" and then after baby is finished nursing, I get them something to drink and cuddle with them. That's usually what they want. It's hard being a toddler when a little one is taking up your "momma time." If they persist, I say "no." Just make sure to give them little bits of your time throughout the day. Blessings.

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I went through her wanting to nurse, too. I let her try (like everyone else says to do) and she then started wanting to try every time I nursed the baby.:001_huh: She weaned herself at 14 mos and I had no intention of nursing her again as a 3 year old. At the same time, poor little thing, I felt really bad for her. So, I let her pick out a new dolly at the store and explained she was in charge of nursing that baby.

 

She's been happy with the new arrangement and she nurses her dolly when I nurse the baby. In fact, I've made a big deal out of "Go get Sally (doll's name), it's time to nurse the babies again." She and I sit down with a glass of water we share and nurse and take turns drinking as we nurse our babies. Once in awhile we have cookies, too. :D

 

Of course, 3 and 18 mos aren't the same. It's a tough situation. I hope you find a solution that works!

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WOW--this was exactly my instinct! I told dh that it probably wouldn't hurt anything (me excepted! :w00t:) to give it a try. I figured she wouldn't know how & would just lose interest. She wasn't all that good at it to begin w/, lol. Tongue thrust or something.

 

Anyway, he looked aghast & told me to ask you guys. He's quite afraid of extended nursing. I, otoh, am afraid of her TEETH. :001_huh:

 

I'm pretty sure she won't have the patience, like y'all said. You know on You've Got Mail when Tom Hanks says his gf "makes coffee nervous"? That's my dd. :lol:

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Awww. My toddler children have all done this when baby is nursing. I usually say "just a minute" and then after baby is finished nursing, I get them something to drink and cuddle with them. That's usually what they want. It's hard being a toddler when a little one is taking up your "momma time." If they persist, I say "no." Just make sure to give them little bits of your time throughout the day. Blessings.

 

Ha! Not this one. I've cuddled her w/ her sippy cup of milk, & she throws it across the room & points. She's got a way of expressing herself.

 

So far we've said no, but I just wanted to check on whether/how to do that, since I really don't want to risk the sweet relationship that has developed so far between her & baby.

 

Thanks so much!

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I went through her wanting to nurse, too. I let her try (like everyone else says to do) and she then started wanting to try every time I nursed the baby.:001_huh: She weaned herself at 14 mos and I had no intention of nursing her again as a 3 year old. At the same time, poor little thing, I felt really bad for her. So, I let her pick out a new dolly at the store and explained she was in charge of nursing that baby.

 

She's been happy with the new arrangement and she nurses her dolly when I nurse the baby. In fact, I've made a big deal out of "Go get Sally (doll's name), it's time to nurse the babies again." She and I sit down with a glass of water we share and nurse and take turns drinking as we nurse our babies. Once in awhile we have cookies, too. :D

 

Of course, 3 and 18 mos aren't the same. It's a tough situation. I hope you find a solution that works!

 

Brilliant! As I was typing out my first response, I started thinking--What if she likes it? Am I really going to nurse an 18mo old? :blink: I know some do, but...ah... that's not...something...I know...quite how to explain to my family, kwim?

 

But ds "nursed" his stuffed animals when dd5 was born. I'd never imagined *encouraging* that, but... actually, I think that might be GREAT. Dh was putting together a bed for the dc the other day, & the big ones were helping. Dd1 was screaming to be let free because she wanted to help, too. I gave her a "hammer" & pointed out the screws, & she very carefully went around hammering them all in place.

 

Thanks for this idea!

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WOW--this was exactly my instinct! I told dh that it probably wouldn't hurt anything (me excepted! :w00t:) to give it a try. I figured she wouldn't know how & would just lose interest. She wasn't all that good at it to begin w/, lol. Tongue thrust or something.

 

Anyway, he looked aghast & told me to ask you guys. He's quite afraid of extended nursing. I, otoh, am afraid of her TEETH. :001_huh:

 

I'm pretty sure she won't have the patience, like y'all said. You know on You've Got Mail when Tom Hanks says his gf "makes coffee nervous"? That's my dd. :lol:

 

My dd (at 27 mo.) wanted to try nursing when ds#1 was a baby. I had her practice sucking on my finger to make sure she knew how to suck with out biting before I let her try. ;)

 

She tried once, lost interest, and then started "nursing" her dolls.

 

A win-win situation for us all!

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I would vote to let her try only if you think you might be ok with her nursing sometimes - like maybe the midday 'special couch time' only at home or something like that.

 

If you're not going to be willing to follow through with it for at least until she loses interest or until you can do a gradual weaning again, then I'd recommend saying no. I wouldn't count on it being a one time thing.

 

I nursed right through preg & tandem nursed & it doesn't have to be a big deal - your family does not need to know.

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I tandem fed mine. I had intended to, and dd bf once or twice a day right through my 2nd pregnancy. Then when ds was born, I went into overwhelm and crisis, without support, and weaned her very quickly- she was almost 18 months. The jealousy she experienced then was terrible and I felt terrible but unsupported to do anything else (dh and mil told me I just had to). When ds was 4 months old I was in a different environment and attending some baby yoga classes- and came across other women who tandem fed. I went home and let dd bf- we never looked back. Dh was horrified at first, but adjusted.

The thing is, her brother always came first, but she just loved to get some too- only once or twice a day though. They both weaned themselves at the same time, it was very cute.

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Even if she does nurse, it'll probably only be for a short time. Get the baby doll and then do a routine, "Oh, we nursed...let's change diapers." That'll get you out of the position. And...well....I nursed a long time. I figure it's bonding time and helps with sickness. And, of course, what's one other thing to explain to the relatives...course...what they don't know won't hurt them.

Carrie:-)

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ITA with the others; I'd let her try. Here's what you can tell the family, if you must tell them anything at all:

 

http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/breastfeeding/a/bf_toddler.htm

 

UNICEF has long encouraged breastfeeding for two years and longer, and the American Academy of Pediatrics is now on record as encouraging mothers to nurse at least one year and as long after as both mother and baby desire. Even the Canadian Paediatric Society, in its feeding statement, acknowledges that women may want to breastfeed for two years or longer. Breastfeeding to 3 and 4 years of age has been common in much of the world until recently, and it is still common in many societies for toddlers to breastfeed.

 

Or you could just say you're doing what's best for both your babies, thankyouverymuch.

 

Another option might be to pump some for her and give it to her in a cup. The direct taste (very sweet, not at all like cow's milk, if she likes that) may not be appealing to her at all, and might end her interest!

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I had a similar experience when my youngest was a baby! My youngest son was 2 1/2 when she was born and he had weaned at around 18 months or so and, when my youngest daughter was born, he wanted to start nursing again.

 

I told him that he would have to wait until the baby was "done" and then he could try. He climbed into my lap and giggled more than anything else. He latched on a few times and would sometimes nurse, but it was very rare and didn't last for more than a minute or two! And the whole 'tandem nursing experience' only lasted for about 3 or 4 months and it was over.

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My oldest wasn't 2 when the twins made their arrival. She decided she should get to nurse too. she tried it a few times. Honestly, she was really much too busy to take the time to have full interest. However, an 18 mth old very well remember how to nurse. My ds hadn't been weaned as long as your dd, he weaned at about 15mths. He suffered from tremendous stomach difficulties, so I reattached him to nursing. He remembered. He liked it. He had plenty of time for nursing. There is a chance she will want to continue. Personally, I would go ahead and let her try it.

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Well...I tried letting her suck on my finger like PP said. It. was. scary. W/ my finger in her mouth, I suddenly remembere the marker whose tip she bit OFF the other day & had visions of...

 

So we bought a baby doll today. His name is Max. He's napping right now & we'll see how he does. :001_huh:

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