did I fail my kid???

[ProudGrandma]

SO, my freshman in college (DD) nearly failed her first test.  I feel like it's all my fault as we didn't do a lot of formal testing at home.  I guess I just didn't see the need to because I knew what she knew and didn't...and we just did the work that needed to be done until the concept was learned.  Did I do a REALLY bad thing?  I also have a son who is a senior this year....am I also setting him up for failure?  What do we do now?  With a grade like that, it can really end up hurting her GPA..not to mention her confidence level for future classes.   What's worse, is that she thought she did so well on the test...and then to get such a low grade...how completely deflating. 

Please tell me how to best help her now. thanks.

[LinRTX]

Tell her to go to her professor. And lots of kids fail or nearly fail that first test. Sometimes it is just learning to study for that professors test. Have her look at the test and determine where the problems are. What class is this in?

[ProudGrandma]

It is in a Old Testament religion class.  What's hard is that they couldnt' keep the actual test, so trying to figure out exactly where she went wrong is kind of hard.  There is a tutoring center on campus for all of the classes offered, so I directed her there.  I am assuming that if the tutor thinks she should talk to the prof, that person will tell her that.  I did tell my dd to ask the tutor that question.  

I just feel so bad and hope this doesn't destroy her grade.

[8filltheheart]

I'm not sure this is a test/no test scenario, especially since she thought she did well. That is the part that would concern me.  What subject was the test and what type of format where her perception of performance was so inaccurate?

[Arctic Bunny]

Has she looked at the syllabus to see how much this test is worth? It might help to see how little effect it will have on her final grade. Clearly, this could backfire if it’s worth a lot!

[egao_gakari]

Aw man, poor kid 😞 The professor should have posted office hours, or if it's a bigger lecture-style class, the professor probably has a TA who did the grading and has office hours. The tutor may be helpful as well, but probably since she doesn't have the test to show the tutor, it makes more sense to consult the prof or TA.

[ProudGrandma]

she might end up talking to the prof too.  I think he is pretty approachable. I guess I am sending her to the tutor so that person can help her in the future...to make sure her notes are good enough and maybe that person will have information on study groups for the next test etc. 

 

[catz]

Many kids have a brutal awakening first semester at midterm time.  I always felt like the best thing about those first assignments/tests was being able to assess what was important to know for a particular professor. 

My kid never had tests at home and has done fine at least as far as he told me.  Honestly, I think he is OVER studying a bit but he'll find his balance.  He did do some DE though (that transition was pretty smooth for him). 

I hope she is able to turn it around!  I just wanted you to know I don't think this is uncommon at all!

[ProudGrandma]

she has done very well with the variety of class projects and papers so far (although not all of the items have been graded and returned yet).  So I hope she is able to turn this around.  thanks for the encouragement. 

[katilac]

14 minutes ago, kfeusse said:

I am assuming that if the tutor thinks she should talk to the prof, that person will tell her that.   

I wouldn't expect the tutor to make a judgement call on this, they aren't advisors or anything. 

When you nearly fail the first test AND you thought you did well, that's an absolute 'go to office hours' scenario. She should be able to look at the test again, first of all, and the prof can guide her as to where she went wrong. 

The tutoring is completely different. It's not one or the other, she should do both. 

[alewife]

1 hour ago, kfeusse said:

SO, my freshman in college (DD) nearly failed her first test.  I feel like it's all my fault as we didn't do a lot of formal testing at home.  

Please tell me how to best help her now. thanks.

College is a big adjustment for many kids, even those who grew up with tons of formal classroom test experiences.  This is why some colleges don't even award grades the first semester - they want to give the students time to adjust.  

Your daughter should definitely go speak with her professor as soon as possible.  Good luck and hugs to both of you.  

 

[regentrude]

Failing a test as a freshman, even if the student thinks she knows the material, is extremely common and no reason to question your homeschooling. It happens very, very often. The transition to college is a transition, whether it is from a public school or a homeschool; the expectations are different, the pressure is different. This is NORMAL.

She needs to talk to the professor, see what she did wrong on the exam, and ask the professor's suggestions for how she should change the way she studies. If test anxiety plays a role, she can make an appointment at the counseling center to see whether they have suggestions for that.

Lastly, what does "failed" mean? A low percentage alone may not say anything, if the grades are curved (sometimes, a 40% is the highest grade in a class and the student will get an A.) How does her grade compare t the class average?

Relax and breathe. This is fixable.

[regentrude]

2 hours ago, kfeusse said:

 I am assuming that if the tutor thinks she should talk to the prof, that person will tell her that.  I did tell my dd to ask the tutor that question.  

Nope. The tutor cannot judge whether she "should" talk to the prof or not. I would encourage any student who struggles with their performance to make an appointment with the professor, and not just the TA. That's why professors have office hours or are otherwise reachable.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

2 hours ago, kfeusse said:

It is in a Old Testament religion class.  What's hard is that they couldnt' keep the actual test, so trying to figure out exactly where she went wrong is kind of hard.  There is a tutoring center on campus for all of the classes offered, so I directed her there.  I am assuming that if the tutor thinks she should talk to the prof, that person will tell her that.  I did tell my dd to ask the tutor that question.  

I just feel so bad and hope this doesn't destroy her grade.

The tutoring center will be somewhat in the dark, since they don't have a copy of the test to know how to assist your daughter.

I would suggest that she make an appointment to meet with the professor to review the test and ask questions about it. 

[Miss Tick]

24 minutes ago, regentrude said:

if the grades are curved (sometimes, a 40% is the highest grade in a class and the student will get an A.)

Oh, I HATED that class! What a shock! And, no, finding out that a 12 (out of 100!) is a B does not erase that bad, bad feeling. I still disagree with the sentiment that "tests should be learning experiences"  😂

[G5052]

I've been teaching at local community colleges for over twenty years, and many of my public and private school students fail the first test if it's their first semester. It's not just homeschooled kids by any means. I just gave a departmental midterm and everyone passed, but I had some in the 60's. Several are distraught and have appointments set up with me. I gave very clear guidance on how to study and topical outline of what to study (it's a freshman-level class), and I'm guessing that they ignored that. The average for those who took it was an 82%. Being that it's community college, I had a bunch of no-shows of course.

By all means she should see the professor and perhaps get tips on how to study for future exams. FWIW, my oldest once didn't do at all well on a departmental test and went to see the professor. It turns out that she hadn't graded the last part of the exam at all and had just totalled up his score to a certain point and recorded that. He ended up getting an "A" once she graded the rest of the exam.  Over the years I've had a few cases where I regraded or gave extra credit for a bad question or two, but never one like that!

Many colleges offer study skills classes that teach you how to study for different types of tests. 

Edited October 9, 2019 by G5052

[Guest]

FWIW, DD has had several classes where the first test was lower than she expected, and in every case, it has been adjusting to the professor's expectations (things like not being careful enough with significant figures or labels, not using the right format (she once turned in an English and psych essay on the same day, and had formatted the English one in APA and the psych one in MLA...oops). She has always adjusted, found out where she went wrong, and went on to not only survive but thrive in the class. There definitely was a learning curve coming from homeschooling, and one of the biggest lessons has been that each professor is different and has different expectations. In some ways, I think it is good-she had to let perfectionism go and learn to ask for help and find out where she messed up. Better to learn that in a freshman level college class than in a work situation where others are depending on you, or in graduate school when your dissertation is rejected. 

[ProudGrandma]

you guys have all been so helpful.  Now I just hope she takes your advice and does it soon.  I am trying not to hoover over her and ask her every other hour if she has done it or not...but I don't want her to wait too long...but I guess that is all part of the growing up and learning experience.  I am thankful she is attending a small, private college...where the classes aren't too big and the profs will do everything they can to help the kids succeed, but they won't baby you either. 

I feel a lot better now though.  So thanks so much for coming through for me (like the hive always does).

[regentrude]

On 10/9/2019 at 6:24 PM, kfeusse said:

 I am thankful she is attending a small, private college...where the classes aren't too big and the profs will do everything they can to help the kids succeed, but they won't baby you either. 

Just wanted to comment on this for the sake of other posters who may not be familiar with colleges: whether professors care and do everything they can to help students succeed has absolutely nothing to do with private vs public institution or with the size of the college. Or even with the class size, because colleges may have setups for large enrollment classes that allow for personal connections with faculty for students.

[Corraleno]

^^^ Totally agree with Regentrude. DS is at one of the largest universities in the country, and his classes have ranged in size from a seminar with 5 students to a required major class with around 40. Most of the profs he's had so far have been really friendly and helpful, and several have bent over backwards to be helpful and accommodating to a kid with LDs and a varsity competition schedule. His experience at a huge university and mine at a small private LAC have been no different in that regard.

I also don't think the lack of formal testing as a homeschooler is likely to cause issues with testing in college. The only tests DS did as a homeschooler were Lukeion quizzes and a grand total of four multiple choice tests for two online DE courses (each had a midterm & final). He's had no trouble with college tests. It's possible your DD did not understand what the prof was looking for — e.g. she may have given simple facts-&-dates type answers when he wanted longer more narrative explanations, or he may have a rubric of specific details he wanted mentioned and she only ticked 3 of the 6 boxes, or he may have wanted to see deeper analysis, etc. That's something only the prof can explain to her, a tutor can't help with that. So the sooner she talks to the prof and looks over the exam to see exactly what he wanted and what she missed, the better.

[SanDiegoMom]

9 hours ago, regentrude said:

Just wanted to comment on this for the sake of other posters who may not be familiar with colleges: whether professors care and do everything they can to help students succeed has absolutely nothing to do with private vs public institution or with the size of the college. Or even with the class size, because colleges may have setups for large enrollment classes that allow for personal connections with faculty for students.

I agree -- my daughter has mostly large lecture classes, but if she is struggling or misses class due to illness she only has to go to office hours to seek out help.  It does put the responsibility on the student to ASK, but the professors have always been willing to help.