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Talk me through getting rid of baby/little kid stuff


mamakelly
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My youngest will be 12 in 3 months (oldest is 23). I still have so much little kid stuff around the house, tucked away in my youngest child's room, in closets etc... I want to keep some of it, but it's still so much stuff, picture books, toys etc.... He struggles with getting rid of things, and his room looks like a bomb went off inside it, lol! We don't have junky toys, but really nice things and I want to save some of it for my grandchildren, but it's so hard to decide what and how much to save. For example I have 2 huge plastic tubs of Thomas trains. I don't want to get rid of it, nor does he, but he doesn't need that in his closet.  just need to really clean his room out, but he cries every time because "everything is special"....Ugh...  

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I put it all in the Goodwill pile in a closet and let it sit there for a good long while. If I feel a pang of emotion about certain items when I get into that closet, they go somewhere else as part of the "I want to keep you after all" group. Sometimes it just takes my brain some time with them in the "gone" section to realize what I want to keep and what I am really ok with letting go of.

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Similar to above, I have a couple places that I put things that I'm just not sure about giving up (or things I'm sure of but don't yet have a place to store long-term). It takes several months for these places to get full. When I go through everything again, I almost always find that I can let it go - even most of the things I was sure of keeping. There have been a handful of nice toys that took a couple years to be able to let go of. But I believe I'll eventually end up with only books and clothes from the baby - preschool years, and I plan to have the clothes incorporated into a throw or blanket.

I think what happens is that with time I'm able to mentally move into the next kid stage. I'm nostalgic about the previous phases, but somehow once we're solidly in the next one I'm more ready to move on. ETA: My kids are very close in age. This wouldn't work the same way if they weren't, I don't think.

It helps a lot that I take almost everything to consignment. I used to sell on facebook groups, but I find the consignment easier. I generally do two bigger loads per year (spring and fall). Any odds and ends at other times, that I know will be consigned, go into a sack in the back of the car. Easy to remove if I need the space, and ready when I make it by the consignment shop.

It also helps that we simply do not have the space to store much in the house. I can stand some clutter of items we're actually using or will realistically use in future, but I have a very low tolerance for unused clutter. 

Edited by Jentrovert
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If something was so special to my child that it made her cry to think of getting rid of it, I think I'd try to find a way to keep it, at least for now. I'm willing to bet that if you store unused but special things away for at least several years before revisiting it, he may better be able to let things go. 

ETA: We have a bookcase full of special picture books and I don't plan on ever getting rid of them. We cull books constantly--but not the special ones. 🙂 

Edited by MercyA
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The only thing I’ve ever regretted getting rid of is a pretty little candle decoration that I felt like I’d never get to display again because I had a toddler who never stopped moving (he’s now an 8 year old who never stops moving, so....that candle thing would still be in a box). I’m pretty ruthless about limiting acquisition of stuff as well as frequent decluttering (partly because we moved a lot). I often use the technique of putting no-longer-played-with-but-special things in a box in a storage space (with the child’s knowledge) to see if it’s ever asked after again. We also work together to choose things to give to friends and cousins.

My oldest regrets that his collection of gum wrappers went missing in the last move. I promise I had nothing to do with it, but I also would not have thought gun wrappers so precious that nearly 2 years later, he’d still miss them. 

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8 hours ago, tbog said:

As soon as I gave all mine away, I found out I was expecting my now 17 year old. 😆

This happened to me too, but with baby paraphernalia, not toys. I got rid of it in July and found out I was pregnant in August at age 45 with my oldest starting college LOL

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I actually got rid of a lot of clothes, toys, and baby stuff at my local twins club yard sales (they had them twice a year).  I am so glad I had that opportunity to get rid of stuff as they grew (I knew we weren't having anymore).  I did keep some favorite blankets, first shoes, favorite toys, a few outfits, etc.  All in one plastic bin.

After having just cleaned out my dad's house of 50+ years, some of which was my stuff, I am getting ready to do a huge purge of my pwn house.  It is just stuff.  I didn't keep much that was mine from growing up and don't feel any sadness at having gotten rid of it (even though my mom had kept it for me).  Some stuff was damaged over time (baby dolls where the plastic became tacky, etc).  Other stuff, like greeting cards that I have no idea who the people are, all gone.

I did keep all the photos and a box each of my parents high school/college memories.  I will go through this stuff over the next couple of years.  For my boys, I have a ton of pictures of the boys in their outfits, with their toys, etc.  I have pictures of them getting their little participation trophies.  They are ready to let those go and only want to keep the ones that were actually earned.  I have kept too many movie stubs, Disney World tickets, vacation memorabilia, etc. from when they were born.  That stuff is the last thing I will go through.

My boys, having seen me go through all I did with my dad's house, do not want that for me or for them when they get older.  They are more willing to get rid of things now.  They want all their Legos, Pokemon, and baseball cards.  But...want to start parting with board games, little action hero stuff, etc.  It does help that they are willing to part with things.  

 

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To me - I think most kids like to play with new things - whatever is popular at the moment. There are some classic toys that always survive (building blocks, legos, Playmobile, etc), but I also don't want to take up space for those that can easily be replaced 20 years from now. That space in my house costs money to have as well as heat and cool. I'd rather have the space and re-purchase toys as/if needed. 

I do have a few misc toys (some good quality animal models, imaginative play stuff) that I kept - not for future grandchildren but for when we have guests who have younger children. 

I kept the outfits the kids went home from the hospital (in their special things box - contents are limited by size - 12 x 12 x 12). I did keep one dress my youngest loved - we have ones very similar in several sizes. There is one other that she wishes we had saved - another one that we had in several sizes. 

 

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12 hours ago, mamakelly said:

My youngest will be 12 in 3 months (oldest is 23). I still have so much little kid stuff around the house, tucked away in my youngest child's room, in closets etc... I want to keep some of it, but it's still so much stuff, picture books, toys etc.... He struggles with getting rid of things, and his room looks like a bomb went off inside it, lol! We don't have junky toys, but really nice things and I want to save some of it for my grandchildren, but it's so hard to decide what and how much to save. For example I have 2 huge plastic tubs of Thomas trains. I don't want to get rid of it, nor does he, but he doesn't need that in his closet.  just need to really clean his room out, but he cries every time because "everything is special"....Ugh...  

Here’s what I recently did with my son’s Thomas trains and wooden track: I kept all of it for a long while (He is 14). Last month or two, a friend of mine posted on FB how her young son, who is most often really busy, spent hours at the library playing with wooden trains. She asked if anyone knew where she might get some, since they are rather hard to find second-hand. This was my cue; this is exactly the purpose I saved them for. I sorted through my son’s trains and track so I would keep enough track to make an oval and the very most favorite trains. Then I gave the rest to my friend. 

I will say this: I did not consult my son on this. He doesn’t even know this happened, I don’t think. But if it does come up, I am going to say we are sharing our resources with those who can use them better. They aren’t helping anyone squirrelled up in my closet. 

I think it’s key that I didn’t just toss the whole lot to Goodwill. I selectively placed them with someone who can put them to good use. 

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don't.   I got rid of all of my baby stuff, including my good cloth diapers, because 2ds was turning 12.  six weeks later...

we'd hoped to have another one, but I had never conceived - until I got rid of everything and I was in peri.

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12 is a difficult age.  I still remember being 12.  I hated it.  I wanted to be taken seriously, like a grown up, but I also wanted to hold onto the carefree, playful childhood.  I slipped regularly from one to another.  It was like being two or more different people at the same time.

If you can swing the space, consider letting your ds keep things the way they are for awhile longer.  If not just the way they are, then piled up in bins in the closet or garage or basement.  I guarantee he won't want to take most of that stuff to college.  He will outgrow it.  But he's not there yet.

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23 hours ago, Quill said:

I will say this: I did not consult my son on this. He doesn’t even know this happened, I don’t think. But if it does come up, I am going to say we are sharing our resources with those who can use them better. They aren’t helping anyone squirrelled up in my closet. 

My mom did this - with *everything* and *anything* she thought we should be through with. She gave it away. Without getting our consent. Without our knowledge. Clothes, toys, books, whatever, whatever - didn't matter our age either.  I resented it. My sister resented it. I wouldn't make a habit of this. I have tried never to do this to my children. 

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4 hours ago, Bambam said:

My mom did this - with *everything* and *anything* she thought we should be through with. She gave it away. Without getting our consent. Without our knowledge. Clothes, toys, books, whatever, whatever - didn't matter our age either.  I resented it. My sister resented it. I wouldn't make a habit of this. I have tried never to do this to my children. 

Yes, I agree it can go too far. Marie Kondo talked about this in her book. She regularly “decluttered” things from her sister or mother’s closet. So yes, I think it can go to far. 

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On 8/5/2019 at 5:30 AM, Bambam said:

My mom did this - with *everything* and *anything* she thought we should be through with. She gave it away. Without getting our consent. Without our knowledge. Clothes, toys, books, whatever, whatever - didn't matter our age either.  I resented it. My sister resented it. I wouldn't make a habit of this. I have tried never to do this to my children. 

 

I have to keep this in mind. However I struggle with this because to him, every piece of paper is special, every rock, every book, every stick.. you get the idea. His room is a pit because of his reluctance to get rid of anything. 

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1 hour ago, mamakelly said:

 

I have to keep this in mind. However I struggle with this because to him, every piece of paper is special, every rock, every book, every stick.. you get the idea. His room is a pit because of his reluctance to get rid of anything. 

 

Ah, well, with paper things and crafts, I would say, "Sometimes the joy is in the making, but not necessarily in keeping it forever".  We made a box for special drawings and took pictures of fragile things.  

For the rock collection, I had a bucket outside the back door.  

For sticks, dd was allowed only one in her room at a time (and it had to be inspected for bugs and loose dirt, sharp points, etc).  If she wanted to bring a new one in, the old one had to go outside.

Books, well, books are special.  If it was special to dc, or to me, or to dh, we kept it.  We still have all the special books.  There were plenty of other books, though, that we picked up at used book sales or who-knows-where.  Those were easy to part with.  I have the picture books in boxes.  The classics and favorite chapter books in the bookshelf in the spare room (vacated by older siblings when they moved out).  

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