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Home'scool

Ok, he is at it again :(

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 My soon-to-be divorced albatross around my neck!

It's a good thing we are only 6 weeks away from a judge trial. After 4 years of this maybe it will finally end!

In the past my STBX has always handled doing the taxes for us. About 2 months ago I forwarded him, through our lawyers, my 2018 tax paperwork. I received a letter from his attorney on Friday, April 12th (3 days before the filing deadline), informing me that my STBX has decided to file taxes "single". In the past he has always done the taxes, and has continued to do so throughout our drawn out divorce. Except, he didn't file yet for 2017, and now he wants me to file "single" for 2017 - can you say late charges?- and 2018. I think he just figured out that he gets to claim the alimony payments and I have to pay taxes on those payments. 

If I file single I will have to pay upwards of $30,000 in taxes. 

When we sold our house in 2017 we put the profit from the house in an IOLTA account with the lawyer. He then used up his half of the profits of the house to grudgingly pay me alimony, and now he HATES the idea that I still have money left over from the sale of the house and he doesn't, so he would rather see that money go to the government than go to me.

So even though none of his alimony payments actually came from his weekly salary he still wants to claim them and screw me over. And he still owes me over 16 weeks of alimony!

My attorney shot back a letter basically saying "no way, no how", but it will probably be another issue for the judge to decide. If he does decide against me in this tax situation I will just have to deal with the consequences. I just want to know where Hell ends and my new life begins so I can start to rebuild and plan, etc.

According to my attorney, as of next year alimony payments will not be taxed (nor will they be deductions) so I shouldn't be facing a bill like this again.

He also has been stalling in informing me how much of a bonus he got in March. It probably was between $70,000 and $100,000 so I will fight like a wet cat for a piece of that if he makes me pay those taxes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Is this legal?  Are you actually divorced?

Or he is saying to file ‘married filing separately’?  If so, does that change how the alimony is treated?  Please check on this with a CPA—your lawyer might not have that detailed expertise, and the tax laws have been fairly dynamic around alimony treatment.

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Good effing grief. I hope the trial resolves everything and the judge rakes him over the coals for you! One way or another, I hope you are able to finally move on without the albatross afterward.

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If we file "married but filing separately" he would not be able to claim deductions on his alimony payments and I would not have to pay taxes on them.

I also just realized, due to the change in the tax laws if we had settled this divorce anytime before 2019 he would have been grandfathered in to claim his alimony payments as deductions. Now that we will not settle until 2019, he will not be able to claim payments as deductions, and I will not have to claim them as income! So, the new tax law creates a financial loss for him and a benefit for me 🙂

 

Edited by Home'scool
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It's been a long time since I prepared taxes for H&R Block, but unless you are legally divorced I don't think he can legally file "single".  He would have to file "married filing separately", and so would you. 

After the divorce, if the kids are living with you, you should be able to file "head of household" which used to have its own advantages but may not now that drumpf has overhauled the tax code.

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4 minutes ago, Amy in NH said:

unless you are legally divorced I don't think he can legally file "single".  He would have to file "married filing separately", and so would you. 

This!

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Yes, he wants to file "married filing separately" which would make me file the same way, and then I would get slammed with taxes. We need to file joint in order for me not to get a huge tax bill

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Have you considered filing as "Head of Household"? 

If you were in the separation/divorce process and lived separately all year PLUS had dependents, it's much better. He can still file "Married Filing Separately."

Don't get too excited about the tax change with alimony. Some lawyers are using that to argue for lower payments because it's no longer tax deductible.

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It sounds like you need an accountant to compare scenarios for you... darn.

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5 hours ago, Home'scool said:

Yes, he wants to file "married filing separately" which would make me file the same way, and then I would get slammed with taxes. We need to file joint in order for me not to get a huge tax bill

Why do you think you’ll get slammed with taxes if you file Married Filing Separately? 

You only claim your income in that case, not half of your joint income. 

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If I file "married filing separately" then the IRS can make me pay on the alimony payments I did receive. If we just file as "married" then I will not have to claim the alimony payments as income.

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1 minute ago, Home'scool said:

If I file "married filing separately" then the IRS can make me pay on the alimony payments I did receive. If we just file as "married" then I will not have to claim the alimony payments as income.

 

Oh, that would do it. You're in a tough place. 

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Don't get too excited about the tax change with alimony. Some lawyers are using that to argue for lower payments because it's no longer tax deductible.

Any suggestions on how to handle this? Because the lawyers are already talking about lower alimony payments

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I’m sorry, he is just a slimy snake. Court day can’t come soon enough. 

You know how we all say that despite having to pay taxes into the public school system, we willingly bear the cost of our home schooling education because of the freedom it gives us? Well, look at it that way. I know you (and all of us following your story!) crave justice, but whatever it costs you - including taxes on alimony- will be worth being finally cut apart from any degree of involvement this rat has in your personal finances and way of life. 

I can honestly barely imagine how you’ve held out this long - trusting him to do your income taxes, when he’s proven himself remarkably untrustworthy? I know it’s all “positioning” for a final settlement, but sheesh, you’ve surely qualified for some kind of deferred justice benefit. 

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I’m sorry, he is just a slimy snake. Court day can’t come soon enough. 

You know how we all say that despite having to pay taxes into the public school system, we willingly bear the cost of our home schooling education because of the freedom it gives us? Well, look at it that way. I know you (and all of us following your story!) crave justice, but whatever it costs you - including taxes on alimony- will be worth being finally cut apart from any degree of involvement this rat has in your personal finances and way of life. 

I can honestly barely imagine how you’ve held out this long - trusting him to do your income taxes, when he’s proven himself remarkably untrustworthy? I know it’s all “positioning” for a final settlement, but sheesh, you’ve surely qualified for some kind of deferred justice benefit. 

 

Haha I love the phrase "deferred justice benefit"!

I has been such a slog through these last 4 years, but living with my sister has been such a blessing. I am happier now on a daily basis because I no longer have him judging or criticizing me. Overall, though, having this over my head has taken a toll on me. I used to wake up in the middle of the night shaking all over like a convulsion almost. It didn't hurt but I would just shake and shake. I also have been on medication for anxiety which helps. 

If I get alimony under the old tax laws I will be fine with paying taxes, I will just have to make sure that the weekly amount reflects that.

 

 
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And I’m just thinking - we have shared a lot of adjectives for that guy here, and probably thought worse than what we spelled out. But I’m hoping your attorney will focus on simply two and hammer them into the judge’s mind. Your ex has been cruel and vindictive. Cruel and vindictive. Cruel and vindictive. 

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You are still legally married, so he must choose married filing singly.   My STBX found out how bad that sucks.  He went from a potential refund to owing $12k in taxes.  

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But I’m hoping your attorney will focus on simply two and hammer them into the judge’s mind. Your ex has been cruel and vindictive. Cruel and vindictive. Cruel and vindictive. 

Boy oh boy do I love this!

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I don’t think you should cave or compromise—doing so will effect your finances for the rest of your life.

Worse, it will reward his absolutely despicable and immoral behavior.

Hang in there, it is almost over.

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It was bad of him to not tell you he was not paying 2017 taxes on your behalf when he knew you would assume that he would do so, but I think it makes sense for you both to file married filing separately (as you're separated) and it makes sense for you to pay your own taxes.  I know it saves you money the other way but the two of you are no longer about saving the other person money, kwim?  I don't know why alimony wouldn't be taxed; it's income.

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How are you doing today? 

So sweet of you to ask! I am doing ok. Some days are definitely harder than others.

Monday was our 30th anniversary. That made me sad. We (or at least I) was so in love on that day. I thought it was the luckiest day of my life. We were so young, 22 and 24 years old. And we had so many struggles when first married. But once things started to smooth out for us he must have just got itchy and started looking for other things.

 

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I don't think I've ever wished that someone would literally drop dead before but in this case...  ugh...

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