Do I put my dog down?

[Kim in Appalachia]

We have a 16yo beagle. We've had him since he was a pup.   He has been slowly deteriorating.  About a year ago he had a stroke, but recovered.  He is incredibly thin. You can see every rib.  He eats, but he also throws up a lot.  He has started urinating in the house often.  I think it out of panic when no one is around.  He is shaky on his legs. He looks so weak.  He also looks as if he's in pain.  And every so often when he gets up he looks disoriented.  If he were a person I would say he was not oriented to person, place, or time.  It's like he doesn't know where he is or who we are.

But he still gets up. He still loves getting his afternoon treat (in a Kong).  He still goes out side to mess.  He is still happy to be around us.

The other issue is my 13yo ds. He will not take it well.

Watching the dog over the past week makes me think he could have a month, maybe two. But, if we decide to put him down we get to control when it happens.  We can schedule it for Saturday (I believe, I need to check). We could spend Friday night explaining to the kids and saying goodbye.  

I'm so upset.  It's been hard.  Honestly, I think we would have put him down a few months ago if it weren't for my youngest.  The dog seemed off all summer.  

I'm just looking for advice, maybe some BTDT.  

[Beaniemom]

It is so hard.  We had a 15 year-old Beagle  who collapsed Christmas Day.  That evening at the emergency vet we said goodbye. He had been declining for some time and I wish we had taken action sooner. I know it will impact our holidays this year.   

[StaceyinLA]

I would, but I definitely tend to err on the side of, “they don’t have to suffer, so why let them?”

Will it be more difficult for your son to do it now, or watch the dog deteriorate further and possibly come home to him dead at some point?

If he has been a wonderful, loyal family pet for 16 years, he deserves to have some dignity at the end. I think planning it and being able to say goodbyes, while ending his suffering, would be the most humane thing to do for him.

[alisoncooks]

I probably would. We waited too long for our dog (and by "too long" I mean he sounded a lot like your dog - plus he was having seizures not controlled by medication). 

I'd gotten used to his current state...but after he was gone, I looked back at old photos and was really able to see just how frail and *pathetic* he looked. I couldn't see it when he was alive. (He started having seizures in June and was put down in October. His decline was rapid.)

He's been gone almost 2 years. It was very hard, though I think my kids healed sooner than I did. I cried myself to sleep for weeks and weeks. 

[Pawz4me]

It is very, very difficult no matter how many times you've done it. Some people say don't worry, you'll know when it's time. I've rarely found that to be true. Of all the pets I've had to make the decision for over the years, only once did I feel like I really knew. The others -- well, I did have some peace knowing that I was making the best decision for them that I could. And I've also always felt I'd rather be weeks too early rather than one day (and needless suffering) too late.

And having said all that -- I do think it sounds like it's probably time. I'm sorry.

[Kim in Appalachia]

Thanks everyone.  I just called the vet and managed to get a time early Saturday morning.  The receptionist was amazing.  She works scheduling magic to get me a Saturday appointment.  I want to cry non-stop. 

We need to wait to tell my ds13.  He will be a wreck. I glad he will have the weekend to deal, and I'm glad we can give him Friday night. 

[Beaniemom]

22 minutes ago, Kim in Appalachia said:

Thanks everyone.  I just called the vet and managed to get a time early Saturday morning.  The receptionist was amazing.  She works scheduling magic to get me a Saturday appointment.  I want to cry non-stop. 

We need to wait to tell my ds13.  He will be a wreck. I glad he will have the weekend to deal, and I'm glad we can give him Friday night. 

 

My childrern are a bit younger but the emergency vet gave them each a book to write memories of Rupert.  If you think it won’t cause more distress to your son, maybe suggest he write down some happy memories.  (I cried just writing that. It sneaks up sometimes)

[alisoncooks]

16 minutes ago, Beaniemom said:

 

My childrern are a bit younger but the emergency vet gave them each a book to write memories of Rupert.  If you think it won’t cause more distress to your son, maybe suggest he write down some happy memories.  (I cried just writing that. It sneaks up sometimes)

The Christmas after we put our fella down, I made my girls Shutterfly photo books chronicling his entire life. Those books have become precious keepsakes. 

[happi duck]

Many (hugs)

We had to say goodbye to our dear sweet kitty a few weeks ago.  ?

[ktgrok]

Absolutely it is time.

Your dog is suffering. He isn't going to get better. He's dying. You can't stop him from dying, you can't heal him, but you can make the process of dying easier on him. It's going to be hard on your child if it happens now or a month from now, so you won't be sparing your child anything, and you will be letting the dog suffer. 

I always explain to my child that the dog is dying, and we can't stop it, but we can make it easier on him by giving him a special medicine that will help him just fall asleep and not wake up rather than getting worse and worse and in more and more pain. 

There are some books out there to help kids with their grief, but personally I would NOT tell the child the day before. They will be up all night ruminating on it, crying, etc. The knowing it is going to happen and waiting for it to happen are the worst part. Tell them the morning of. 

Perhaps bring up the idea now, what euthanasia is, etc, and that at some point you may need to do that for your dog, because he's getting worse. Then on the day you do it tell them it is time. I also explain that I KNOW my dog loved me so much and would never have let me suffer or be in pain if she could prevent it, and we owe it to the dog to have the same attitude. 

[ktgrok]

3 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

I. And I've also always felt I'd rather be weeks too early rather than one day (and needless suffering) too late.

 

So true. An extra week or too isn't going to give great joy to the dog..it's not like they need to contact their grandchildren and say goodbye or something. Better to have them miss out on a week, than spend one day suffering. Especially since we can't explain it to them.

[Chris in VA]

Our dog was so ready. He couldn't get up on his own. It was hard. 

But there was mercy for us in the midst of it--we really, really didn't want to put him down. We took him in, and they explained there are two injections, one to relax him, and one to stop his heart. Turned out we only had to give him the "relaxing" medicine, not the actual drug that stops the heart, because he died before we could give it. That's how ready he was. 

I agree with Katie, just tell your kid the day of, and then go do it. And just be there and keep things low key for a few days. 

I'm so sorry for your loss, and happy you had the company of such a fine friend for so long. I grew up with a beagle (probably a mix)--they are so sweet. ❤️

[Just Kate]

We put our 16 year old lab down this past March. Bernie was our first baby - we rescued him from the shelter at 4 months and we had him two years before we had children. I worried and worried about choosing the “right time” to put him down. But I just knew...and it was absolutely the right decision. 

I was very worried about ds (14), as Bernie had slept in his room and been his buddy since forever. Sadly, dh was working out of town when we made the decision so my dad went with me and ds went as well. Ds is so sensitive, but he handled it well. We both just loved on Bernie while he went to sleep. It was so peaceful. 

Anyway, I’m sure you’re making the right decision. It is just so hard though. Hugs and prayers for your family as you go through this. 

[Shoeless]

We put our 18 year old cat down about 2 months ago.  It was hard -very, very hard, but I'd let things go on too long out of guilt.  I miss her very much, but it wasn't fair to her to keep her going.  It was a hard choice, but the right one to make. 

One thing that has helped *me* is that I have a video recording of her purring while I petted her.  If I'd been more organized, I would have made a clay paw print of her.  The ER that euthanized her made an ink print of her paw print, but I wish I could have had a clay paw print.  If something like a clay paw print is important to you or your family, I would ask your vet it they can make one.  If not, you can buy a kit to bring with you.  They have them on Amazon and at Hobby Lobby. 

 

I'm so sorry about your dog.  ?

[Corraleno]

Our vet did paw prints for us. You can try to do it yourself, too, but our vet had special kits and they did it after Bella had passed, so they got perfect impressions without stressing her out. I'll attach a photo. We actually ended up getting three of them, because each of my kids wanted their own. DD put hers in a shadow box with a photo and Bella's collar, and DS hung his on the Christmas tree last year (first Christmas without her). I still keep mine in a drawer in my bedroom closet, because even after a year and a half I can hardly look at it without crying. But I'm so glad I have it. 

I'd prepare your son for the fact that the dog is suffering and probably doesn't have a lot of time left, and let him spend this week really spoiling him/her. Then Saturday morning you can tell him it's time, and let him decide how involved he wants to be. My son wanted to hold Bella in the car on the way to vet, but said he couldn't handle being there at the end, so he chose to say goodbye in the lobby. DD went into the back with me, and we both loved on her as I held her on a blanket in my lap while she went to sleep.

(((hugs)))

 

Edited September 11, 2018 by Corraleno