When you stop enjoying HS and dreading it

[~Sunny~]

What do you do? I used to look forward to school every day. Now I don't like it and dread it. DD is a excellent student and I have no problems there but I am just not feeling the love and won't let myself put her in PS.

[keithfamily5]

:grouphug:

 

I've had a rough year myself. Would love any seasoned advice. I just keep reminding myself what it was like before and how much more work it would be with them in ps, plus the negative influences. They really have flourished being homeschooled. This is our 3rd year.

 

Any advice?

 

Patty

[G5052]

I have to say that I'm not always thrilled about it Sunday night, but it's part of the fabric of our lives and something we've sacrificed to keep going these eight years. My children don't love it either, but they'd much rather be home with me than in a classroom, and they're achieving and thriving. Homeschooling is a part of our lives, but not the whole picture by any means. I'd rather be doing this though than anything else, and I adore my children, so we make do.

 

I guess that you have to step back and ask yourself why you're homeschooling and what your expectations are.

[keithfamily5]

Esther:

 

Is it the curriculum? I do have to say that we used only Abeka our first year. That was something we changed the following year. Abeka stressed my daughter out and in turn, myself. We still use their math, but have found other things that work better for their learning styles and needs.

 

I read a book, Homeschooling at the Speed of Life, by Marilyn Rockett, my first year as well. It was a good book and helped me realize I had to rearrange some priorities. My house was a big priority. When they were in school, I spent alot of those school hours cleaning. I've had to lower my expectations in that area and put the kids to work helping out with chores. She also challenges you to come up with a Mission Statement. As corny as it sounds, I did it. I sat down and came up with 6 core reasons of why we homeschool and wrote down some scripture to help encourage me in those down times. (I talked to my hubby about it, too.) It's in the front of my notebook so I can look at periodically.

 

Most of my problems, have been me and my attitude lately. I'm having some health issues, tired and grouchy. We've been extra busy. My little one has been going to therapy every week. When things get hectic, my attitude gets off.

 

I hope by sharing some of my problems and what has helped me, it will encourage you.

 

Patty

[emeraldjoy]

I know what your are saying.

 

One night I was apologizing to my oldest for the rough week and she said, "well certainly there will be worse weeks but I know there will be better ones"....let me tell you it was exactly what I needed to hear.

 

I just need to give myself a break during the times that neither I nor my children are into it and know that a time will come again when we will love it again. During the rough ones I try to do some non-traditional stuff, sort of stepping out of the mundane, spice things up a little....and I try to remember (for myself) and teach them that through the span of life we will always have to do things we don't want to do to be able to do the things we do.

 

I noticed that your oldest is only five......go to the library and get some really fun read alouds, make popcorn, snuggle and read and laugh together. For as long as it takes I would drop everything....this is just me though......as they get older the time for this will be less and less.

 

Because of their ages, I would drop everything traditionally academic until my zest came back and just have fun. Draw, color, listen to a variety of music, learn a new dance, make holiday crafts or cookies, learn origami, start beading, bake bread, take walks, go on "field trips", etc, etc etc.

 

I will now be lurking on this thread to get some advice for myself.

thanks.

emerald

Edited November 17, 2008 by emeraldjoy

[Sunshine State Sue]

I would be curious to know what you dread about it. When my ds was 5, all we did was <30min math 2x a week and <30min of reading 2x per week. He also went to a science museum class 1x per week. Are you doing too much?

 

For me (and ds), we need time with others on a regular basis. Back then, we were in a hs group that had regular park days, field trips, skating/bowling, and more. Physical activity all around helped as well.

[JessMcG]

I'm in the same place with dd. I think we have too much on our plate. Right now I'm planning to drop Horizons K and just do games for math. We will start Singapore 1 (which will be mostly review) next September, when she would enter 1st grade if going to public school.

[akmommy]

Kindergarten should be fun. At that age all that is needed as far as seatwork IMO is phonics, math, and handwriting. An hour that can be broken up through out the day. Other than that read, explore, play games, and read some more. Have fun with it, you have plenty of years ahead for all the other stuff.

[MIch elle]

I would be curious to know what you dread about it. When my ds was 5, all we did was <30min math 2x a week and <30min of reading 2x per week. He also went to a science museum class 1x per week. Are you doing too much?

 

For me (and ds), we need time with others on a regular basis. Back then, we were in a hs group that had regular park days, field trips, skating/bowling, and more. Physical activity all around helped as well.

 

:iagree:

 

When dc are that young you should ENJOY them. We didn't offically start formal school until dc were 6yo and then only did short amounts of math, reading, writing and read aloud time.

 

What are you doing with them that you dread? :confused:

[homeschoolmomtutu]

Mine are quite a bit older than yours...but when I feel the dread or boredom coming on (or find myself fully in the midst of it) I change things up and spice up our day for like a week...field trips, parkdays, nature walks, plain old "let's have a pj day and bake a batch of cookies and watch a great classic movie" (or not so classic one!) I love change and adventure, but thrive on schedules and order...so I just mix it up, on occasion, to bring back that lovin' feeling:lol:

[dhudson]

I agree with many of the other ladies, if you are feeling this way with a K'er, you might want to look at your curriculum. We started with Abeka with our oldest but quickly changed as we realized that we weren't enjoying the process - nor were we learning what we wanted to.

 

Also - just some practical ideas for you-

 

Are you taking time for you? Reading a good book, going to coffee with a friend, spending some time walking the mall? whatever you like to do without kids.

Are you taking time with your spouse? Date nights?

 

Home schooling requires a lot of energy and we as mom's need to make sure we are taking time to recharge when we can. Maybe you can plan to take off several weeks at Christmas and just play - read fun books, make fun crafts and bake special treats. We take three weeks off and then in January we are ready to start again, happy and rested.

 

Hope you start feeling better about things soon.

[yoda]

I agree with most of the above comments. It seems like your dc are a bit young for everyone to be experiencing burnout already, and if you are, I think it is really important to take some time to focus on why your family chose to homeschool to begin with, and try to really give priority to things that serve those reasons and don't worry too much about the rest, if that makes any sense.

 

And I definitely agree with everyone else that with these ages your academic sit down work really should take very little time. When my dd was in K I was really worried about being able to fit school in, since we travel a lot throughout the year.

 

So I thought we should definitely do school in the summer. So from June through August we did an hour or two of math, reading and writing in the morning before swimming lessons at 11:00 and lo and behold, in August we had finished Saxon K, pathway Phonics, Zaner Bloser K etc. we were completely done with K academically. K really shouldn't take that much academic time for any child.

[NevadaRabbit]

What do you do? I used to look forward to school every day. Now I don't like it and dread it. DD is a excellent student and I have no problems there but I am just not feeling the love and won't let myself put her in PS.

 

Change things up. If your curriculum is burning you out, re-evaluate your choices. If your expectations are too high and driving both of you to burnout, re-evaluate your expectations. If you've been going and going and going at it without a break, schedule a week of FUN.

 

That said, I'd also like to gently and kindly say that it ain't about making US feel good - and there are days where we mom/teachers must just march on despite a headache, a gloomy mood, a crabby kid, and spilled milk. Sometimes all at once.

 

Persevere. You are doing this for far greater reasons than emotional ones. :grouphug:

[Quiver0f10]

I'd dump the curriculum and enjoy reading together, taking nature walks, doing some fun science experiments, some crafts, play doh etc. You have plenty of time for book work.

[MerryAtHope]

I try to pinpoint what I am dreading and why, and then do something about that subject area. Maybe it's a curriculum problem, or I'm doing too much or we're bored or it's moving too fast or...

 

I pray and ask God for wisdom.

 

Sometimes I change things up for a day--go on a field trip, nature walk, play date--do something out of the ordinary like a school party--and see if that helps.

 

Maybe it's just a sign that you need a couple of days off to regroup, rest, recoup etc...

 

Merry :-)

[Janie]

I think it is quite easy for moms, like yourself, with young children to become interested in and enamored with the whole process of educating your children. That's probably why you are here on the WTM boards.

 

Being here, it's easy to get caught up in all this, to see what others are doing and want to do it, even if their children are years ahead of where you are. Then it's easy to think that you need to change and add material or simply to start something. Most of us love what we do and we love to enhance our "system." But often, when we try to implement our enhancements or changes, we find things aren't working as we wished or thought they should. Then frustration or even disillusionment sets in. We get tired because things aren't working the way we wanted usually because we are trying to fit a square peg into a circle. The timing is not right, the curriculum is not right, the age of the child is not right.

 

In your situation, relax some. Continue to do phonics and numbers. But spend the majority of your structured time (and have several small blocks of structured time throughout the day) reading the many wonderful picture storybooks and nature books from the library, listen to stories on audio while working puzzles, drawing/coloring, playing. "School" at your children's ages should be more about learning about our wonderful world and whetting the child's appetite to learn more. Then the school type things can be added and increased with the child's ability.

 

Now, if all this is what you are doing already and you are still experiencing dreading it, well, you just have to dig deep down inside yourself and stay the course. Press on. It's not about feeling. It's about conviction. Life is full of times when we just don't want to do it anymore, whatever the it is--clean the bathroom, change a diaper, shop for groceries, say "I'm sorry." Persevere. And believe me, home education is the greatest test of your personal perseverance that you will likely ever have.

 

And it's worth it.

[Garga]

I agree with everyone else. Shake things up a little. This year (1st grade) I went back and added in 14 play-days into my hs calendar. When we need a day off, we use one of our play-days without worrying that we're falling behind.

 

Whenever possible, take the lessons outside of the house. For example, we've studied about China a couple of times between K and 1st grade and each time we study it we go to the Chinese restaurant. (I LOVE IT when we study China!! I'm thinking Italy and Mexico next...yum!) We brought a map and the server showed us where he was from and taught us some Chinese words. It was really nice and made the lesson come alive.

 

My advice: 1. Take a few days off, 2. Get out of the house whenever possible!

[Pammy]

I have realized that I am extremely burned out. I remember the early days when we took nature walks and read books together, not worried about book work. I am going to re-read the Heart of Wisdom book and probably drop formal book work for a while. We went on a nature walk last week and my kids loved it. They drew pictures of all the critters that crossed our path (literally... I almost stepped on a snake)!

 

We also took a trip to the Apple computer store and the zoo another day. It was the best week of homeschooling ever! My kids have earned a right to be more relaxed after all the stress we have had in the last few years. I am even thinking of chucking TOG (oh my, don't tell)! and BJU workbooks!

 

I am going to use the McGuffey readers and Ray's Arithmetic books in addition to reading and our nature walks. No more stress for me.

[sandalwood]

What do you do? I used to look forward to school every day. Now I don't like it and dread it. DD is a excellent student and I have no problems there but I am just not feeling the love and won't let myself put her in PS.

 

I have been there before and I took about a 2 week break. Even a one week break will do wonders for you.

 

I also agree that school for that age should be "fun" stuff. When my child was in K, we did a lot of field trips, playing with other kids in a homeschool group once a week, etc. Do you have a zoo? I bought a yearly zoo pass at that age and we went to the zoo about 3 times a week! That in itself is awesome for a lot of science activities. Just do some fun stuff, take a break and relax for a little while. Maybe you need a mental break from it. If you take time off, you can make it up over Christmas holidays or the first of the year. The kids here get an insane amt. of time off from Thanksgiving to after New Years. Just take some of yours now and make it up.

[SunshineMom]

How long has it been since you have had some time to yourself, out of the house? Away from the kids? Are you getting together with other moms and their children for field trips?

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

This happens to me several times a year. I have homeschooled for over 12 years now. It is just part of the job.

 

I view homeschooling as my career right now. When I was back in the work a day world, I loved some days/seasons of my career and I hated some.

 

Usually when I dread school it is because:

1. The house is a wreck and laundry is piled to the ceiling. (Take a few days of academics off and clean.)

2. Someone is sick. (Take sick days, watch Nova, Nature, other educational tv)

3. There is a "larger" issue at hand. Financial problems, extended family problems/illness, etc. ( Scale back school for a specified period)

4. It is just time for a break. Take a week off.

5. Curriculum isn't working or everyone is just bored with the same old thing. ( Buy something new or completely change your schedule).... Even getting new pencils and notebooks can be fun.

 

For me today.... my house is a wreck! :)

Pam L

[melissel]

You've gotten lots of good advice. I just wanted to throw my experience in there too. We went through a very rough K year. I ended up taking most of the year off from anything formal. Even though I wanted very badly to HS, I was still caught in the transition mindset--there was a part of me that was still hanging onto "She's supposed to be in school right now. I could still send her to school. This isn't good for any of us. It's too hard. All the other kids are going to school..." I was caught between knowing that my life would be easier if I decided to send them two of them off each morning (ah, sweet silence!) and knowing that what I really wanted for them was at home. It took me almost the full year to really make peace with keeping DD5 home. By the time first grade rolled around, I was ready to jump in with both feet and start again.

 

5 was a hard age because I felt like there was stuff she was missing out on by not being in K at school (circle time, songs, games with friends), and there was stuff I thought I wasn't able to provide her because I was struggling. I beat myself up about it a lot. Plus, I had precocious DD2 running around, demanding a lot of my attention as well. I wasn't dreading doing school, I was dreading being in constant demand, with everyone needing constant attention, asking constant questions, one getting up early, the other one sleeping late and then not going to bed until 9-10 p.m. The addition of formal school to that combo was almost too much for me to bear because I was so flattened.

 

The bottom line is, we did almost nothing but what most others have recommended. We read aloud, we did some (very little) Right Start Math (fun for us), went to the park, started a weekly playgroup, etc. In the meantime, my DH started stepping up to the plate a bit more, my little one got a bit more independent, and I was able to breathe a little more. Now, I still fantasize about sending them to school some days, but the good days outnumber the bad ones. I definitely the the ages of your littles play a part. Give yourself a break and let yourself relax. Kids learn so much everyday just by living, it's mindblowing.

 

Anyway, none of this may apply to you at all, but I thought I'd share in case you were feeling the way I felt. If it's not relevant, ignore me. If it helps, I'm glad. The K year was one long battle for me, but I did come out on the other end renewed and ready to keep going. Near the end of the summer, I was nearly forced to give up HSing for work reasons, and that was so painful a decision to make, I realized how much it does mean to me. It's not for everyone, for sure, and maybe school will end up being the best option for your family, but it sounds like you still have some fight left in you :lol: Good luck!

[Guest]

Hi Esther, I don't have hardly the experience that anyone else here does, but found something interesting in your post...I noticed that in your sig you are using Abeka for K. I did a double take b/c I was just talking to a dear friend of mine who is doing Abeka for her dd this year for K. She was commenting to me how she really wished it was more fun. Hearing this over and over makes me wonder if it's the curriculum that may be causing these families with littles to burn out. I know it's expensive and I would have a hard time ditching something that pricey, but I think you could totally re-vamp it ala WTM style. If it were us, I would

1. take a week off of school to see if that helps (if your state and schedule allow)

2. Take a step back from the subjects that are burning you guys out or

3. (my personal choice) Go to the library and do further studies on what you're learning. If your child is learning about community helpers, go check out library books about them. Take a field trip to the fire station. Play dress up and dress up as a fire fighter - dramatic play! I've got pancake molds that make fire trucks, ds gets a kick out of those! Whatever you are learning about, incorporate some fun stuff - cooking, crafts, legos, etc.

 

On another note, burnout in anything is totally normal. This too, shall pass! {{{Hugs!}}}

[Aloha2U]

I think it is quite easy for moms, like yourself, with young children to become interested in and enamored with the whole process of educating your children. That's probably why you are here on the WTM boards.

 

Being here, it's easy to get caught up in all this, to see what others are doing and want to do it, even if their children are years ahead of where you are. Then it's easy to think that you need to change and add material or simply to start something. Most of us love what we do and we love to enhance our "system." But often, when we try to implement our enhancements or changes, we find things aren't working as we wished or thought they should. Then frustration or even disillusionment sets in. We get tired because things aren't working the way we wanted usually because we are trying to fit a square peg into a circle. The timing is not right, the curriculum is not right, the age of the child is not right.

 

In your situation, relax some. Continue to do phonics and numbers. But spend the majority of your structured time (and have several small blocks of structured time throughout the day) reading the many wonderful picture storybooks and nature books from the library, listen to stories on audio while working puzzles, drawing/coloring, playing. "School" at your children's ages should be more about learning about our wonderful world and whetting the child's appetite to learn more. Then the school type things can be added and increased with the child's ability.

 

Now, if all this is what you are doing already and you are still experiencing dreading it, well, you just have to dig deep down inside yourself and stay the course. Press on. It's not about feeling. It's about conviction. Life is full of times when we just don't want to do it anymore, whatever the it is--clean the bathroom, change a diaper, shop for groceries, say "I'm sorry." Persevere. And believe me, home education is the greatest test of your personal perseverance that you will likely ever have.

 

And it's worth it.

 

This happens to me several times a year. I have homeschooled for over 12 years now. It is just part of the job.

 

I view homeschooling as my career right now. When I was back in the work a day world, I loved some days/seasons of my career and I hated some.

 

Usually when I dread school it is because:

1. The house is a wreck and laundry is piled to the ceiling. (Take a few days of academics off and clean.)

2. Someone is sick. (Take sick days, watch Nova, Nature, other educational tv)

3. There is a "larger" issue at hand. Financial problems, extended family problems/illness, etc. ( Scale back school for a specified period)

4. It is just time for a break. Take a week off.

5. Curriculum isn't working or everyone is just bored with the same old thing. ( Buy something new or completely change your schedule).... Even getting new pencils and notebooks can be fun.

 

For me today.... my house is a wreck! :)

Pam L

 

Hi Esther, I don't have hardly the experience that anyone else here does, but found something interesting in your post...I noticed that in your sig you are using Abeka for K. I did a double take b/c I was just talking to a dear friend of mine who is doing Abeka for her dd this year for K. She was commenting to me how she really wished it was more fun. Hearing this over and over makes me wonder if it's the curriculum that may be causing these families with littles to burn out. I know it's expensive and I would have a hard time ditching something that pricey, but I think you could totally re-vamp it ala WTM style. If it were us, I would

1. take a week off of school to see if that helps (if your state and schedule allow)

2. Take a step back from the subjects that are burning you guys out or

3. (my personal choice) Go to the library and do further studies on what you're learning. If your child is learning about community helpers, go check out library books about them. Take a field trip to the fire station. Play dress up and dress up as a fire fighter - dramatic play! I've got pancake molds that make fire trucks, ds gets a kick out of those! Whatever you are learning about, incorporate some fun stuff - cooking, crafts, legos, etc.

 

On another note, burnout in anything is totally normal. This too, shall pass! {{{Hugs!}}}

 

~Sunny~

 

I'm sorry to read of your situation, but it seems as though you're getting some great advice... I especially like the posts I quoted above.

 

Although I've received opposition for doing formal lessons with my one and only ds, PreK/K4, I have no regrets about what we are doing. However, I can tell you that in the planning process (Spring 2008) I was considering ABeka and even purchased many materials from them for PreK/K/1st (I am a planner). While praying, posting questions and absorbing all the responses/advice on this forum, it was actually some advice from OhElizabeth that stuck with me and sent me down a different and better path. I fought it mentally for awhile, since we had already invested the money and then realized that ABeka was not for us when everything arrived. I kept the art/craft stuff but resold everything else at our local homeschoolers convention (June 2008). ABeka is a good program and it does work for some, but I truly wonder if this could be your case.

 

Here is the thread I mentioned above w/OhElizabeth's response (#8) that may be helpful to you. Although you may not follow her advice exactly or anyone's for that matter... it may be helpful in giving you another path to take... if you so choose to, instead of ABeka.

 

God Bless