Children picking their own furniture

[Bambam]

How old is your daughter?

Our kids get input into furniture (for their rooms) purchasing. When young, it would have been along the lines of, "Look at this bed, do you like it?" If I had let them look online or at catalogs, oh, the things they would have thought they wanted because they looked cool.

 

When older, we'd discuss cost, quality, etc and given a budget found something that was agreeable. My oldest wanted to build her own bed. Fine.  She and her dad worked on it and then she painted it (or maybe she painted and then they built it - not sure which order). She is still happy with that bed. 

 

We do not have unlimited funds, so the kids have been brought up to understand that we have limits to what we can afford for things. As they get older, they understand this better. They really didn't when they were toddlers. 

[Xahm]

Don't sell your kid too short about understanding finances. We talk with our kids about this type thing a lot, and the oldest is entering kindergarten. Our most common explanation is, "we choose to spend that money on other things. We could buy that one big expensive thing you want, or we could have money to buy lots of yummy good, put gas in the car so we can go places, and even get birthday presents." Or "That's not good enough for the amount of money it costs. Let's look for something that is a better value."

[marbel]

When my kids were little, they had little to no say in their furnishings - they just used what we had for them.  When they were teens, and needed something new, they had input, but it had to be within our price range and other guidelines - such as how well it fit into the room overall, durability, not a style that would get tiresome soon and force us to start all over.  

 

There's nothing wrong with having guidelines and letting the child pick within those.  Sure there may be disappointment.  Heck, I still get disappointed when I see a piece of furniture that I want but can't have for whatever practical reason (cost, fitting in with the rest of the house, too trendy which means it will get tiresome).   My kids see me (and their dad) not getting everything we want, so they don't expect to get everything they want.    I think it's fine to acknowledge disappointment - it's a normal emotion - but kids have to learn that they have to move on from it.  

 

A 5-year-old may not be able to understand exactly what $2000 means, but she can understand "this bed costs too much for us" or  "this bed costs more than I have to spend on a bed right now."    

[Alessandra]

Don't sell your kid too short about understanding finances. We talk with our kids about this type thing a lot, and the oldest is entering kindergarten. Our most common explanation is, "we choose to spend that money on other things. We could buy that one big expensive thing you want, or we could have money to buy lots of yummy good, put gas in the car so we can go places, and even get birthday presents." Or "That's not good enough for the amount of money it costs. Let's look for something that is a better value."

I agree. When my kids could no longer fit in their toddler beds, I took them shopping for real mattresses. I pretty much knew I would buy Stearns & Foster, as I always have and as my parents did, so the shopping was about the kids sharing in the *process*, not making the decisions. We sat on lots of beds, went to several stores, and the kids listened patiently while I explained the mattress - good sleep relationship. I think they learned that important purchases involve time and effort as well as money. I feel that it was much better for the kids than simply having mattresses delivered and listening to me tell them to be careful.

 

Btw, we were usually quite economical, but shoes and mattresses were exceptions. To this day, both my kids, now teens, are good not only at finding bargains, but also at saving for a single item that they deem important.

[Janeway]

I tried to explain to her about the cost and then, I finally got more stern and just said I am not buying her a toy, I was only wanting to buy her a bed. I ended up cancelling the bed. Too bad too. It was only $270 for the final cost (I checked the receipt since making the original post). Even the IKEA beds cost more. But I guess if she is just going to cry about it, no point in bringing it home. My husband says there is plenty of left over paint. Put the metal frame back in there, knowing it will scrape the wall, and he will just paint over the scrapes when need be. I am a little bit disappointed because the bed is a platform bed and I could toss out that box. The box has torn fabric. The metal on the frame has been scraping the wall. But whatever. She will just stick it out with the mattress and box spring and metal frame.

[Wheres Toto]

I tried to explain to her about the cost and then, I finally got more stern and just said I am not buying her a toy, I was only wanting to buy her a bed. I ended up cancelling the bed. Too bad too. It was only $270 for the final cost (I checked the receipt since making the original post). Even the IKEA beds cost more. But I guess if she is just going to cry about it, no point in bringing it home. My husband says there is plenty of left over paint. Put the metal frame back in there, knowing it will scrape the wall, and he will just paint over the scrapes when need be. I am a little bit disappointed because the bed is a platform bed and I could toss out that box. The box has torn fabric. The metal on the frame has been scraping the wall. But whatever. She will just stick it out with the mattress and box spring and metal frame.

 

You can cover the part of the frame that's scraping the wall with tape or pad it somehow so it doesn't scrape the paint.  Since it's against the wall, it shouldn't show.

 

You can also cover the box with a fitted sheet that matches or coordinates with her other bedding.  

[lllll]

nm

Edited July 25, 2017 by tentwelve

[Twolittleboys]

I think 2k for a bed is unreasonable if you can't afford it easily. On the other hand I wouldn't spend money on a nice bed that she will end up disliking (if only because it it not the one she wanted).

 

So I would specify a budget or show her a number of options and if none of these works I would also go without until you can find something affordable that she is happy about.

[heartlikealion]

Aside from padding maybe you could get something like a chair rail? Whatever it is that people have in dining rooms that prevents chairs from hitting the wall.

[Alessandra]

I tried to explain to her about the cost and then, I finally got more stern and just said I am not buying her a toy, I was only wanting to buy her a bed. I ended up cancelling the bed. Too bad too. It was only $270 for the final cost (I checked the receipt since making the original post). Even the IKEA beds cost more. But I guess if she is just going to cry about it, no point in bringing it home. My husband says there is plenty of left over paint. Put the metal frame back in there, knowing it will scrape the wall, and he will just paint over the scrapes when need be. I am a little bit disappointed because the bed is a platform bed and I could toss out that box. The box has torn fabric. The metal on the frame has been scraping the wall. But whatever. She will just stick it out with the mattress and box spring and metal frame.

Good for you. Tough decision. It was a nice bed at a good price. But kids can be funny, and it didn't sound as though a bed was a hill to die on, lol.

 

Good luck!

[KungFuPanda]

Pft. She's a little kid. Just put the mattress on the floor and call it done. Mattresses are so flippin deep anymore anyway. The bonus is she can't put junk under her bed.

[Χά�ων]

I could get a really nice whole bedroom from IKEA for $2K. I couldn't justify spending that on one bed. That just wouldn't jive with my budget realities. YMMV of course.

Yeah, for $2k I could have a local furniture maker make my dream bed and matching dresser and then hire someone to dismantle the narrow doorway to get it up to our room.

[Χά�ων]

Pft. She's a little kid. Just put the mattress on the floor and call it done. Mattresses are so flippin deep anymore anyway. The bonus is she can't put junk under her bed.

I did this with DS at that age. He upgraded at age 7 to a hand-me-down bed from a friend and then to a queen that he will hopefully not outgrow in the next year. I cannot imagine spending a lot on a bed for a young one who will outgrow it.

[ikslo]

My mother let me pick the wallpaper for my room when I was 5. I had to live with that incredibly awful pink vinyl wallpaper with little white flowers until high school, even though I realized my mistake before it was even completely up on the walls. It did NOT make me feel like Strawberry Shortcake.

 

I bet that bed that was linked actually feels like sleeping in a coffin or something.

[heartlikealion]

I did this with DS at that age. He upgraded at age 7 to a hand-me-down bed from a friend and then to a queen that he will hopefully not outgrow in the next year. I cannot imagine spending a lot on a bed for a young one who will outgrow it.

 

Yeah. I worry I'm going to have to order from Tall Paul's Tall Mall for ds one day lol. Really, that's where we should have ordered our bed. Dh's feet still hang off our Cal. King. The prices make me cringe so badly for long furniture, though.

 

[Χά�ων]

Yeah. I worry I'm going to have to order from Tall Paul's Tall Mall for ds one day lol. Really, that's where we should have ordered our bed. Dh's feet still hang off our Cal. King. The prices make me cringe so badly for long furniture, though.

 

I just book marked that website, thanks! DS is 5'8" and only gearing up for his major growth spurt. Speaking of that his toes just busted through another pair of shoes. Size 14. My budget is not designed for this. At least DH can wear his hand me downs...