potty learning issue - advice needed

[Noreen Claire]

DS2 will be 3 at the end of the month. We decided it was time to get him out of diapers during February vacation (DH is a public school teacher and would be home all week to help). It took about two weeks, but DS2 is dry all day and through the night, with very few accidents. 

 

The problem is that, with the exception of one glorious day in March, DS still has every bowl movement in his underpants. He immediately  announces that he's done it and walks/waddles over to the potty to sit. We've tried bribery, we've tried reminding/asking him beforehand, we've tried chiding him... I'm at a loss. How to I get him to stop doing this? This is boy #4 to be potty trained, and I didn't have this issue with the others.

 

FWIW, this kid has a huge vocabulary, is neurotypical, has no physical limitations, and is well aware what the expectations are.

[Ottakee]

If he is fairly regular, make that a "sitting time" each day. No pressure, just him, the potty, books, iPad, toy, etc. And sit for 10-20 minutes.

[MercyA]

This book is awesome: Where's the Poop? Maybe it would help.

[Ailaena]

Does he know when he has to go? Like, actually understand and recognize the feeling? He may just need time :/

[Sherry in OH]

Does he know when he has to go? Like, actually understand and recognize the feeling? He may just need time :/

 

One of mine had to be told that when he felt pressure at his bottom he should sit on the toilet because that pressure meant he needed to poop.  

 

My other child made the connection between the feeling and needing to go, but not that he should do so in the toilet.  He would either cry and asked a for a diaper or hide when he needed to go.  We had to sit him on the toilet and read to him until he relaxed enough to go on his own.  As a warning, it took several years to convince him that he could poop without someone accompanying him to the bathroom and reading aloud while he conducted his business.

[ktgrok]

It's fairly normal, and you can't force it. You can encourage it, and even have them sit on the toilet IN a diaper, for a bit, to see if that bridges things. Or try a lower potty, so it's more like squatting (normal posture for pooping for humans). 

[DesertBlossom]

Of my 5 potty-trained kids, 4 of them had a much harder time learning to poop in the toilet. My oldest DD would hold it in, to the point it was obviously painful for her, until she exploded in her pants. I don't know why, but pooping on the toilet is hard. 

 

With DD we bribed her with a toy she really wanted. I don't remember what we did with the others, except I know it always seemed to take a few extra weeks to get the pooping thing mastered.

[Bootsie]

Although he is aware immediately after he has had a BM, that does not mean that he is realizing before he has a BM that he needs to go to the toilet.  If he tends to have a BM at the same time each day, having him sit on the toilet at that time might help.   If you notice any signs that he is beginning to have a BM, taking him to the toilet immediately may help him make the connection of when he needs to go to the toilet.

 

I would focus on rewards/celebrations for success on the toilet, but I would avoid rewards for "keeping underwear clean."  Some children will then begin withholding which can lead to constipation.  

[Noreen Claire]

Thanks, everyone, for the great advice.

[monstermama]

With my son, it was learning to recognize the "I have to go" rather than "I am going" feeling.  I used the play dough trick with him, and that was what finally seemed to click.  We still had a few times where he couldn't get to the potty fast enough and pooped right next to it, but he was fully potty trained within 3-4 days after that.

[Noreen Claire]

 I used the play dough trick with him, and that was what finally seemed to click.  

 

:scared:

 

I may have my husband handle that part... lol!

[Tanaqui]

My older kiddo wasn't potty trained for poop until right around her fourth birthday. Pee was fine, but she just either couldn't figure out pooping or didn't want to. At the time, my mother said that some kids are just like that, and if you wait they all figure it out.

 

So we did, and she did figure it out.

 

It helped, of course, that we weren't sending her to pre-k or preschool that year.

[rainbowmama]

Is he pooping standing up? Some kids get used to pooping standing up and have trouble with adjusting to sitting down to poop. I babysat a kid like that, and I took the insert from a little potty and got him to poop standing into the insert a couple times. After that, it sort of clicked: he'd use the toilet as long as his feet weren't dangling (he didn't like that for whatever reason), so he'd use a little potty or rest his feet on a stool for pooping.

[Tanaqui]

Oh, yeah, lots of kids hate having dangly feet when they poop.

[Zinnia]

I have one that took 42 days. He didn't really have wet accidents, but 42 days of poop.

 

I just had him help clean up each and every time. And then he got it, and that was that. Never had another accident.

 

This is very much the picture of his personality, though.