Tween Girls and Hair Removal

[umsami]

DD is nine and sprouting hair everywhere which is freaking her out! (Even though I've explained it's completely normal...puberty....etc.)

 

I have this vague memory of trying an older girl's razor at camp when I was 10 or 11? It was one of those ones that were kind of pentagram shaped...and had five blades I think....and you would turn to a new blade when you need it.

 

Anyway... how did you handle this with your girls?  I'm kind of wanting her to hold off shaving until she's older because it's such a pain....and once you start, the hairs are darker and such.

 

She's super self conscious about it, especially the hair on her arms.  Being fair (DD has dark brown hair) it was never an issue for me.  What do people do about arm hair?  Is that shaved? Waxed? Bleached??   How old does one need to be to have laser?

[Guest]

I practically begged dd to shave, so perhaps I'm the wrong person to respond here. That probably sounds bad, but I take more after your daughter. I notice such things on myself and other people. I was sneaking my Mom's razor at 9, so by 10 she caved and just let me shave. I am fair complexion with very dark hair, so it made me extremely self conscious, especially since I played sports. Some girls just are bothered more by such things than others. I sympathize with your dd because it was a MAJOR deal for me. So I was shaving in 5th grade. I started waxing in college, as that's when I could afford it (and it was offered more widely besides elite spas at a decent price). I've gone to the same aesthetician since I was 19. I think switching from her would be more traumatic than switching ObGyns to be honest! 

 

Anyway, if it makes her self conscious, personally, I would set her up with a nice electric wet/dry razor to start and give her ample instruction in how to use it. She can switch to a regular razor when she's a bit older and the closeness matters more. I don't think shaving actually impacts the hair color unless she's bleached out by the sun. It makes it a little rougher because of the cut end, but it doesn't make it grow in thicker or anything in reality. I have never felt the need to shave my arms, but my bff in school did from the age of about 12. Now 30 years later she still does. I tried it once because of her and it made my arms look odd to me, but I am differently complected than she is and to her its something she prefers look wise. I don't imagine arm hair grows unusually fast- I'm not sure. I don't know if I would subject a 9 year old to waxing though. It might be a bit much, but if she wants to shave, I personally don't see an issue in trying at. Worst case she gets tired of it and it grows back and she gets it out of her system for a few years. 

 

ETA: Also explain that eyebrows are gently plucked, never shaved and save yourself and her going through that mistake. We got to witness a friends' daughter do that in the not too distant past and now that was not something you would want someone to experiment with!! 

Edited January 17, 2017 by texasmom33

[Reefgazer]

When DD started bitching about the hair, I laid out all the options for her.  I personally like depilatories myself, but she likes the convenience of shaving.  I would just lay out the options and let her choose; I don't think shaving is all that much of a hassle, but them again, I have light hair.

Edited January 17, 2017 by reefgazer

[alisoncooks]

I had very hairy legs (fair with black hair) and I begged my mom to let me shave. I was way too old before she let me (so I did it on the sly a few times). I was NOT going to be that parent for my daughters. I was teased terribly, once by a grown man, which was upsetting.

 

Oldest DD is 10.5. She has been shaving a year, but at this point she's not consistent. She'll shave before certain events (camp, pool party) -- she shaved last weekend for the first time in 6 months. :p

 

She's used an electric razor because she was frightened of cutting herself. This past weekend I helped her with a regular razor for the first time. I hope, with a little coaching, to hand that off soon. She doesn't shave anything but her legs right now (her arm hair doesn't bother her).

 

ETA: if it were my daughter, I would point out that arm hair is normal. I mean, leg hair is too, but even in a culture where many/most women shave their legs, many/most women in my acquaintance do not remove hair from their arms. I would think, though, that shaving them (while initially convenient) would require constant upkeep since arms are so visible.

Edited January 17, 2017 by alisoncooks

[Arcadia]

I have only boys. I do use armpit depilatory cream when I was a teen because I don't sweat easily so I stink when I do. Besides I have fine light hair on my arms but coarse dark armpits hair so makes sense for me to just do the armpits. My mom just let me pick whatever hypoallergenic cream I could find. I didn't shave because I would probably hurt myself with my pathetic motor skills, cream was easier. Some of my friends choose waxing but I heard from them that it hurts more but last longer.

[kitten18]

I got dd a razor so she could start shaving when she started getting underarm hair (ballet dancer, didn't want to have underarm hair). She probably did that for about a year before she shaved her legs for the first time. She's 13 and she still only shaves her legs a couple times a month when the hair gets long.

 

 

Anyway... how did you handle this with your girls? I'm kind of wanting her to hold off shaving until she's older because it's such a pain....and once you start, the hairs are darker and such.

This is a myth that shaving makes the hair get dark. Hormones is what causes the color and texture change.

 

ETA - she uses the Schick Intuition razor with shaving cream built in. Really easy to use and harder to cut yourself with it.

Edited January 17, 2017 by kitten18

[kiwik]

I would discourage it as long as possible. But then I am hairy and decided it was easier to just go with it. If I am swimming I shave my legs and make sure my armpit hair is short (menopause has helped there).

[mominco]

DD uses the conair satiny smooth all in 1 ladies shaver,I bought it on Amazon. 

The 1st one she used was a small/skinny trimmer as that was more than enough,

but as she grew she needed something better,She has been using it for 3 years now.

She was not comfortable trying the creams/bleaches as she has sensitive skin.

[EndOfOrdinary]

I had friends in softball who bleached their upper lips and arms from about 13 on. The only problem was that once they tanned, it looked rather freakish and drew way more attention. With my sensative skin, creams and bleaching were out. I tried it once. The level of epic failure/humiliation is still embarrassing.

 

Now I wax. I would not go back to shaving. I started shaving by 5th grade regularly (age 10). I started waxing as an older teen (17) when a older friend went away to college, then came home and showed me how.

 

At 9, just let her shave. Give instructions about where not to shave, because I do not know of a single child who does not have a story about hair being removed through curiousity by someone. My older brother shaved my widows peak off when I was young with his razor. A classmate removed her sideburns (it was so awkward looking!). Another took out her eyebrows in a fashion which sounds similar to a PP.

 

There are lots of YouTube tutorials if she is self conscious about you showing her or talking to her about it.

[SKL]

My kids don't have armpit hair yet, but my oldest is kind of hairy on her limbs, which she noticed.  The day she said something about it at age 9.5 was the day I showed her how to shave.  I got her a cheap disposable razor.  She only shaves about once a month before her gymnastics performances and such (might decide to do it more in summer).  Usually she just covers her legs with clothing.

 

Both of my kids will need to start removing "mustache" hair soon.  I bought some Oil of Olay facial hair removal cream, but I haven't introduced it yet.  I'm thinking maybe I should try it on myself first.

 

Arm hair - culturally it isn't something we usually remove, but if my daughter really wants to do so, I would let her do it.  I have a friend who does so, and she uses a razor just like on her legs.  It doesn't look strange to me.

 

I have done laser hair removal for myself once, and I wonder if it's a good option for growing young ladies.  It's pretty expensive, but if it's really permanent, it could be worth it.

[Carrie12345]

I got my girls razors as soon as they started hinting at it, which was about 10.  They've never been ones to shave on a frequent basis, but they do when they want to.  I don't know if it's just their social circles or what, but even now, as teens, all the girls in their crowds sometimes shave, and sometimes don't.  Their hair, their choice, and it doesn't seem to be a big deal at all.

[SparklyUnicorn]

 

Anyway... how did you handle this with your girls?  I'm kind of wanting her to hold off shaving until she's older because it's such a pain....and once you start, the hairs are darker and such.

 

 

 

I don't think that is true.  I think a lot of people believe it is true, but if you think about it, it really makes no sense.  Why would what you are doing on the surface of your skin using a non chemical means change the color of hair? 

[bettyandbob]

I just let my DD shave when she wanted. My mother was against me shaving.

 

I few my experience as the slippery slope in our relationship. She was also against me having a bra or using tampons. I was athletic. I swam and played field hockey. When each of these things came up, her resistance made me feel more self conscious. Her resistance to this normal stuff made it easy to not talk to her. I didn't lue, but lies of omission were frequent.

 

Anyway, I'd teach my DD how to shave when she brought it up. I'd let her know the options she could pursue in the future.

[wonderchica]

If she's uncomfortable I'd help her look at her options and choose one. She may want to do it consistently from now on, or maybe not. I was very fair with dark hair and my mom didn't let me shave until 7th grade. I was teased mercilessly during 6th grade, as most of my classmates were shaving. Really hurt my self esteem.

[umsami]

Thanks ladies!

 

So I'm going to order her a women's electric razor and let her choose the frequency.  I'm going to encourage her to hold off on the arms, however, I know that she might not.  We've already talked about eyebrows and how when she's ready, I'll take her either for threading or waxing by a professional. 

[kitten18]

Thanks ladies!

 

So I'm going to order her a women's electric razor and let her choose the frequency. I'm going to encourage her to hold off on the arms, however, I know that she might not. We've already talked about eyebrows and how when she's ready, I'll take her either for threading or waxing by a professional.

You guys could look at some pictures of Misty Copeland. She refuses to remove her arm hair.

[foxbridgeacademy]

What I said to DD around the same age

 

The problem with shaving is where do you stop? If you shave your legs do you just do knee down or do you do thighs too? If you're doing thighs what about butt cheeks, pubic area? Eventually you could end up shaving your entire lower half.... who has time for that? Shaving arms is just weird IMO, and why? Everyone has hair all over their body why take it off, for looks?

 

I ended up letting her shave where ever she wanted.... she regrets it now and only shaves her underarms and occasionally her knee down in Summer (which is exactly what I do).  So my advice is to remove as little as necessary to make her feel comfortable.