Joules Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 I know we are all worried about Kinsa's sister, but I wanted to suggest using the energy for something productive. I couldn't get in touch with my sister for a couple of days. It turned out that a storm had taken out internet (and VoIP) and the cell tower. I realized that I didn't have anyone to contact besides the police, so I asked for the number of her good friend J that I knew they kept in contact with several times a week. I told her to give J my number, too. So if the time comes again that one of us can't get in contact with her, we can get in touch with each other. (J knew about the issue, but didn't even think about calling me and wouldn't have known how.) I think everyone has a friend, neighbor, pastor, or someone that they wouldn't mind you contacting. If you call your relatives now and tell them what your friend Karen is going through, they will probably be happy to give you names, phones, e-mails, addresses or some information. Even if you do decide to call the police, you can say "Her best friend Jane lives at 203 Elm, maybe she knows something." Still thinking of you and your family, Kinsa :grouphug: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 I made an effort to meet my mothers's new neighbors last fall, and I feel so much better knowing I can reach them. My mother moved there recently, and until last fall, I'd not met a single neighbor. It was causing me to lose sleep! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bensmom Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 My family is local for the most part, but I have the phone number for my elderly next door neighbor's out-of-state kids and they have my number. It makes my neighbor's adult children feel better knowing if they can't reach their mom and dad, I can walk over and check on them. They have had me check on them twice in the nine years we have lived here. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 I have a dozen people I could call on a moments notice to go check on my parents if they weren't responding to my texts or calls. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joules Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 My family is local for the most part, but I have the phone number for my elderly next door neighbor's out-of-state kids and they have my number. It makes my neighbor's adult children feel better knowing if they can't reach their mom and dad, I can walk over and check on them. They have had me check on them twice in the nine years we have lived here. You are just the kind of person long-distance relatives need! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Nope. I don't know the friends and neighbors of distant relatives. And they don't know mine either. But in some cases there wouldn't be much that I could do anyway. They are just way too far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joules Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 (edited) I made an effort to meet my mothers's new neighbors last fall, and I feel so much better knowing I can reach them. My mother moved there recently, and until last fall, I'd not met a single neighbor. It was causing me to lose sleep! I have a dozen people I could call on a moments notice to go check on my parents if they weren't responding to my texts or calls. It's hard when elderly parents move. Scarlett, I think you are like I was, you've known your parents neighbors for years. It gives a feeling of security. Edited January 10, 2017 by Joules 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joules Posted January 10, 2017 Author Share Posted January 10, 2017 Nope. I don't know the friends and neighbors of distant relatives. And they don't know mine either. But in some cases there wouldn't be much that I could do anyway. They are just way too far. The "way too far" was what I was thinking about. There's nothing you could do but worry OR you could text the neighbor and know everything was OK. Maybe I'm more of a worry-wart, but from Kinsa's thread, I know I'm not the only one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 I always give my family my friends' numbers (after I make new friends) every time we move so they have a local contact. I know several to call in the reverse situation since the rest of my family live in my hometown. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 The "way too far" was what I was thinking about. There's nothing you could do but worry OR you could text the neighbor and know everything was OK. Maybe I'm more of a worry-wart, but from Kinsa's thread, I know I'm not the only one. I don't text and nobody in my family texts. I don't have a lot of family members either way. Probably the hardest part is my MIL lives in another country. A couple of times she had surgery or there was some issue. My BIL would call during the day. My husband would come home from work thinking something terrible happened (because he can't call him from work). Nope. Was just him updating. I finally told him he needs to stop calling you at those times because it's only making you worry for nothing and there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to help from that distance. At least nothing quickly. So he did talk to him and now he calls on the weekend only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 I don't know the last names of their friends, but would have ways to get people to check on them. I know the names of their churches, for example. I know the first names of many of their friends, and could look them up on Facebook. I know exactly where they work and could easily call people there to help too. We had an emergency situation in our own home when my kids and I were all out of town, and my dh was home alone. I knew something was very wrong. I called several friends and an ambulance. The ambulance got there first, and I gave them permission to enter our home even though I wasn't there. However, they couldn't enter without a sheriff. Fortunately, the sheriff lives across the street. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 My mother always makes sure she has the contact info for a neighbor or friend or employer of each of her children. And since my parents live in the same house I grew up in, I could track down their neighbors. They've never needed that info in the 20 years since my last sister left home, but it's nice to know it's there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 (edited) No, I don't know my relatives' neighbors. If I was worried about someone, first I would contact everyone on our group messages and ask if they'd heard from him/her. Next, if anyone lived close enough to drive over, I'd request that. Otherwise I'd request a welfare check by the cops if an unreasonable amount of silence had occurred. That said, I don't check in with my fam much. Most of us don't live alone and frequently touch base in person with multiple trustworthy people. The inability to reach someone after leaving call-me-back messages would rattle me though. All of us have more than one way to contact people should our cell get flushed or the like. Edited January 10, 2017 by SKL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 A few years ago, my sister (who lived alone several states away at the time) had serious health problems. One day she passed out at the top of the stairs and woke up at the bottom of the stairs. I told her that she needed to contact me Every Day or I would be sending the police to check on her. It really helped me to feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkTulip Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 My church is very well-connected with other congregations of the same denomination throughout the world. I could pretty easily get in touch with my siblings' local religious leaders, who in turn could go check on them. It's a good exercise to think about what I would do in that situation. I was thinking about how in a pinch, I could ask here at the Hive if anyone was within 30 minutes, and would probably get some volunteers (my sis lives in a big city). I know if someone asked about someone local to me, I would happily go knock on a stranger's door, explain that I was "friends" with their relative, and ask them to please call their sister ASAP! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 How about folks who don't live in areas with neighbors who know each other? Surely others live in areas like that too. I've lived in areas like this my entire life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 I used to for my father and his wife (he's now passed away). My grandmother lives in a small town with a ton of relatives so yes. My mother has a group of neighbors that all look out for each other and are each other's emergency contacts and I've met most of them but I just realized that my info isn't up to date for them so that's a good reminder. My in-laws all live in the same area, so they can check on each other. My brother lives in the same city as my uncle, so I could contact him or vice versa. So... except that I need to update my mom's friends (and there are a lot of other people I could call in that area because she lives near many of my old school friends who would help in an instant if I was concerned), yes. I never thought much about it, but I guess I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Oh my gosh, I just realized... it's US that has no one they could contact. Like, my mother knows a couple of my local friends via Facebook after meeting IRL so maybe she'd know how to get in touch with them. But I'm not sure. And my in-laws and brother would have no idea how to see if we were okay if we stopped responding for a long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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