How common is it to be frequently bored?

[BooksandBoys]

I understand. I don't call it boredom, though. I have hobbies, too, but I am never able to indulge because I have young children (and even older children) who constantly interrupt me. I have books I want to finish, but unless I'm in the middle of some mindless romance book (which I rarely read), I can't read, because by the time I get my mind into something someone is asking me a question or fighting or I have to take someone to piano lessons or volleball practice or get on them because they haven't finished schoolwork. So, when I have a few minutes .... I feel completely at loose ends and end up just surfing the Net or something because that's all I can manage. I hate living this way. It's a tremendous waste of time. But I don't know what the answer is.

You describe my experience well. I can't call what I deal with boredom because I'm always busy, always prepping for the next thing, and always trying to fit something meaningful into my otherwise overly full and not at all intellectually challenging life.

I'm not complaining. Not much anyway. But I have goals and dreams and little kids with intense needs and a husband who travels too much. It's a good life, but these aren't really compatible. I do manage to read (although not in the last 2 months, which is highly abnormal for me and probably contributing to my general frustration level), but I want to sing in a choir again, develop my bookkeeping skills, get back to school to take the appropriate classes to sit for the CPA licensure, work part time under a CPA long enough that I can actually acquire said CPA, improve my upper level math skills so that I can legitimately market myself as a tutor of those upper levels instead of just the lower levels (not much of a market for the lower level tutors here as there was in my previous area), have time for any of those work goals...even one of them...practice the flute and cello again, learn the guitar, and I have that half marathon to train for because I'm tired of not meeting that goal when life quite spectacularly intervenes (I'm looking at you, 2016).

I'm impressed with all that you fit into your days, Sparkly, but I also think I understand what you are describing. Wanting more. Not knowing exactly what that more is or how to get it.

[fraidycat]

Just wondering about this. I'm SO BORED. Which gosh I feel kinda weird admitting to that. I know there are things I can do, but they are either incredibly boring (cleaning?!) or my brain is just too fried (because I just spent hours doing them). I have a zillion hobbies and yet I still find myself feeling bored A LOT. I just don't know why or if it's odd or if it means something.

 

I guess I just need to go with it.

I was Sooo incredibly bored as a SAHM/homeschooler. Bored to the point of depression at times.

 

I finally decided to put myself higher on the priority scale. I was way down far when it came to time, money, etc. I always had to take care of the kids, DH, and home first. Learn how to be the"best" mom, homeschool teacher, wife, home organizer, and just generally make everyone else's life better. It sucked. My wardrobe sucked. I sucked.

 

Now, I'm training in something that I love doing and find fascinating and am starting my own business, plus got all my safety requirements to work for my brother part time to get out of the house. I hate cooking. I hate teaching. I hated trying to motivate the kids. I am NOT cut out to be a Stay at home mom. I admitted it quite early on, but it still took me 14 years to give myself permission to stop doing it because "it was best" - for everyone except me. I paid a price for that and so did my family because I just ran out of juice to give a damn or do much of anything for anyone anymore, or at least not with a smile on my face. Everything was a chore.

 

I'm much happier now, very rarely bored, and that makes me a better person, so in the end I'm better at my roles as mom, wife, and housekeeper because they do not define my life anymore. I have something else to look forward to.

Edited November 26, 2016 by fraidycat

[SparklyUnicorn]

I was Sooo incredibly bored as a SAHM/homeschooler. Bored to the point of depression at times.

 

I finally decided to put myself higher on the priority scale. I was way down far when it came to time, money, etc. I always had to take care of the kids, DH, and home first. Learn how to be the"best" mom, homeschool teacher, wife, home organizer, and just generally make everyone else's life better. It sucked. My wardrobe sucked. I sucked.

 

Now, I'm training in something that I love doing and find fascinating and am starting my own business, plus got all my safety requirements to work for my brother part time to get out of the house. I hate cooking. I hate teaching. I hated trying to motivate the kids. I am NOT cut out to be a Stay at home mom. I admitted it quite early on, but it still took me 14 years to give myself permission to stop doing it because "it was best" - for everyone except me. I paid a price for that and so did my family because I just ran out of juice to give a damn or do much of anything for anyone anymore, or at least not with a smile on my face. Everything was a chore.

 

I'm much happier now, very rarely bored, and that makes me a better person, so in the end I'm better at my roles as mom, wife, and housekeeper because they do not define my life anymore. I have something else to look forward to.

 

I like homeschooling.  But really this is absolutely not an option.  My older kid probably has about 2 years left because he plans to graduate early.  Then my other kid..oh gosh I've ruined him for school.  I'll suffer beyond repair to not send them to the hell hole schools around here.  Just not happening.  Plus I'd give up my freedom, free time, and sanity so I can do a menial low paying job?  Oh  yay!  Nope.  Doesn't seem like much of a good plan at this point. 

 

I can't do that to my kids without a VERY good reason.  And I really don't think it's what I want anyway.  I've never ever had a job I liked for even a single day.  I've hated them all. If I needed money, I'd shovel shi* and dead bodies and not complain, but that just isn't the situation right now.  

 

I think a lot of it comes down to a problem I've always had.  I simply have no clue what I want to do.  I only know what I don't want to do!  I sometimes think this is as good as it gets for me because there are a lot of things I like about my situation. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah plus really homeschooling was my idea.  My kids did choose it.  My kids know nothing else.  Now of course going to a school would be better than NOTHING, but I made a commitment to this and I will finish what I started (and wouldn't do otherwise without an extremely dire reason).

 

And really unless I found a job that wasn't like the jobs I've had in the past, I'd be fine never working again.  I could imagine possibly starting some sort of small business. 

 

I'm not really looking for a job.  I've had plenty of jobs to know what they are like.

[MotherGoose]

Maybe you should consider doing some of the volunteer work you love, and see where it goes?

[Bluegoat]

With volunteer work, it helps a lot if you don't think of it as working for free.  Or don't think of it as volunteer work at all. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

With volunteer work, it helps a lot if you don't think of it as working for free.  Or don't think of it as volunteer work at all. 

 

I have no idea when I'd actually do something like this though.  Later on yes, but now?  No.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Let's just call it as it is. Sometimes, it's really boring staying at home and full time homeschooling. Sometimes, that's what you've gotta do anyway. So, sometimes you are really bored and you do your best to remediate it, but sometimes you just suck it up.

 

I vote common and normal. 

 

Homeschooling and being a SAHM are not highly intellectually fulfilling occupations. IMO. 

 

Yes

 

I feel fortunate that I do have stuff going on just for me that I enjoy.  It's not all bad.

 

But I suspect I may never really be 100% content.  Maybe in a way that keeps me going.  I keep looking for something.  I was bored with every single job I ever had.  At this point I associate work with boredom.  So it's like...oh you are bored?  Why not get a job?  Why?  So I can be tired AND bored?  Nah. 

[regentrude]

 I was bored with every single job I ever had.  At this point I associate work with boredom.  So it's like...oh you are bored?  Why not get a job?  Why?  So I can be tired AND bored?  Nah. 

 

so do you know people who have fulfilling jobs? 'cause I am surrounded by them.

Is there nothing you could imagine that would not be boring?

(Not saying you should work - I just find the idea of associating work with boredom puzzling)

Edited November 27, 2016 by regentrude

[tm919]

Yes

 

I feel fortunate that I do have stuff going on just for me that I enjoy.  It's not all bad.

 

But I suspect I may never really be 100% content.  Maybe in a way that keeps me going.  I keep looking for something.  I was bored with every single job I ever had.  At this point I associate work with boredom.  So it's like...oh you are bored?  Why not get a job?  Why?  So I can be tired AND bored?  Nah. 

I've never been bored with work, even when I've had boring jobs. I think sometimes it might be a personality trait. I'm sort of like a goldfish, I think the other side of the bowl is cool every time I see it.

[regentrude]

But most of them are things I should have started on way back when, instead of wasting a heck of a lot of time child rearing. 

 

Your options for highly interesting work start to close when you've been out of the workforce for a long time, and are hitting middle age.

...

 

But I don't think it's that weird to think of all the things you could realistically work at in middle age, having homeschooled for a long time, and find the options less than enthralling.

 

Oh, I completely understand that the options are more limited now. I was just wondering because she wrote that every job she ever had was boring and that she associates work with being bored. That's quite a different thing than seeing limited options in middle age.

 

That said, I know homeschooling mothers who made career changes in middle age and do interesting things.

Edited November 27, 2016 by regentrude

[fraidycat]

I like homeschooling. But really this is absolutely not an option. My older kid probably has about 2 years left because he plans to graduate early. Then my other kid..oh gosh I've ruined him for school. I'll suffer beyond repair to not send them to the hell hole schools around here. Just not happening. Plus I'd give up my freedom, free time, and sanity so I can do a menial low paying job? Oh yay! Nope. Doesn't seem like much of a good plan at this point.

 

I can't do that to my kids without a VERY good reason. And I really don't think it's what I want anyway. I've never ever had a job I liked for even a single day. I've hated them all. If I needed money, I'd shovel shi* and dead bodies and not complain, but that just isn't the situation right now.

 

I think a lot of it comes down to a problem I've always had. I simply have no clue what I want to do. I only know what I don't want to do! I sometimes think this is as good as it gets for me because there are a lot of things I like about my situation.

I wasn't saying this is what you should do. I was saying this is what I figured out to cure my constant boredom. It took me 14 years to figure it out.

 

I get it. Oh, my dog, do I get it!! I finally figured out what I want to do with my life at 40 years old!! In my (very new) business, I charge over $100 per hour for my services - I have 1 paying client so far. In my brother's business, I get paid the lowest starting wage, which is over $20/hour. If I were working menial labor for low wages - nope, would.not.happen unless we were starving.

 

This is all brand new for me. In the past two weeks.

 

And the ONLY reason I can do it? Is that I am able to have my kids in an awesome school where they both thrive. And I have help with getting kids to/from school & activities if I end up working late. If that wasn't happening and I needed to be home with one or both - I'd be trying to work my own business evenings and weekends for the stimulation and would not be working for my brother at all. Because they and their education still come first. For another 7 years.

 

It's not all roses, though. Scheduling and having to get up sometimes at 4:45 in the morning to go to work with my bro - that part's not so fun.

[Georgiana Daniels]

Just wondering about this.  I'm SO BORED.  Which gosh I feel kinda weird admitting to that.  I know there are things I can do, but they are either incredibly boring (cleaning?!) or my brain is just too fried (because I just spent hours doing them).  I have a zillion hobbies and yet I still find myself feeling bored A LOT.  I just don't know why or if it's odd or if it means something.

 

I guess I just need to go with it.

 

Oh, man! I can't even fathom this. I'm interested in so stinking many things and sad that I don't have time for them all. 

 

Hoping I live long enough to enjoy everything  :lol:

[Georgiana Daniels]

Yeah plus really homeschooling was my idea.  My kids did choose it.  My kids know nothing else.  Now of course going to a school would be better than NOTHING, but I made a commitment to this and I will finish what I started (and wouldn't do otherwise without an extremely dire reason).

 

And really unless I found a job that wasn't like the jobs I've had in the past, I'd be fine never working again.  I could imagine possibly starting some sort of small business. 

 

I'm not really looking for a job.  I've had plenty of jobs to know what they are like.

 

A new challenge might be a great way to get your whole self engaged!

[Ausmumof3]

Just wondering about this. I'm SO BORED. Which gosh I feel kinda weird admitting to that. I know there are things I can do, but they are either incredibly boring (cleaning?!) or my brain is just too fried (because I just spent hours doing them). I have a zillion hobbies and yet I still find myself feeling bored A LOT. I just don't know why or if it's odd or if it means something.

 

I guess I just need to go with it.

When I feel like this I'm usually tired. Once I get a decent sleep my brain can settle to something and engage again.

[Ausmumof3]

I am thinking that bored isn't quite the right word. I get a little that way sometimes....antsy......usually cleaning like a crazy person helps.

Feel free to come visit when you feel like this 😆

[Ausmumof3]

Honestly. I want to be paid for my efforts. I don't need the money in the sense my needs/wants are low, but not in the sense that I have extra money to spend to go work for someone for free.

 

But you know I love that idea about recording stories. One project I did for a class years ago was to interview an older person and write about it. I really enjoyed that.

 

I admit though I feel no sense of connection to my community. I did not grow up here. I'm not particularly proud of the place. I feel as if the majority of people here are very apathetic (at best).

 

I think the other thing with getting paid is then people actually don't give meaningless work. I did a lot of hours volunteering once inputting data for a school library system and it was pretty boring. Anyway then the coordinators decided to go with a different system and isn't use any of the work. I felt a bit annoyed that Id spent so much time on something quite boring for nothing. If they had to pay to get it done they would have put more thought in to begin with.

[SparklyUnicorn]

so do you know people who have fulfilling jobs? 'cause I am surrounded by them.

Is there nothing you could imagine that would not be boring?

(Not saying you should work - I just find the idea of associating work with boredom puzzling)

 

No

 

Growing up my father hated his job.  My grandfather hated his job.  I didn't know anyone who liked their job.  There were no women in my life with jobs.

 

My husband doesn't hate his job, but he complains about it . He mostly complains that nobody around him seems to care about what they do or the quality of what they do.  Another one of my complaints with most jobs I've had.

[SparklyUnicorn]

 Some things I can imagine doing are not boring. 

 

But most of them are things I should have started on way back when, instead of wasting a heck of a lot of time child rearing. 

 

Your options for highly interesting work start to close when you've been out of the workforce for a long time, and are hitting middle age.

 

I'm training to work in an area that is somewhat interesting...let's see if I get a job...even if I do ( I expect it to be more interesting that Year 7 homeschooling) It's not thrilling. Kwim ?

 

Of course, I'm not Wendy :)

 

But I don't think it's that weird to think of all the things you could realistically work at in middle age, having homeschooled for a long time, and find the options less than enthralling.

 

Yeah exactly.  Some stuff that has been suggested here in other threads were things that sounded ok, but none of them I'd be qualified to do.  And I don't know people.  I don't have family or friends who might be connections. 

 

I'm not done homeschooling anyway. 

 

I'm not doing nothing intellectually stimulating.  I'm taking courses at the CC.  I play the violin.  I read a lot.  It's not nothing.  Heck, I have a lot more time for that now than I would have if I had to work.  If I had to work I'd REALLY be bored. 

[creekland]

No

 

Growing up my father hated his job.  My grandfather hated his job.  I didn't know anyone who liked their job.  There were no women in my life with jobs.

 

My husband doesn't hate his job, but he complains about it . He mostly complains that nobody around him seems to care about what they do or the quality of what they do.  Another one of my complaints with most jobs I've had.

 

I guess this is why I encourage all three of my boys to do what they love - major in what they love and choose a job/field accordingly.  So much of one's life is put into their job (including if their job is homeschooling or volunteering or anything else unpaid) that it makes no sense at all to spend it doing what one hates all the time.  It makes sense to do it to pay the bills (and everyone in my family has done that at some point or another from working for a fumigator to fast food to grocery stocking, etc), but in the meantime, it also makes sense to be seeing what one wants to be doing and do what is needed to end up on that path.

 

I get bored when I'm NOT doing something.  I can't really fathom retiring.  Even when we move, ending our work isn't part of the plan.  We'll modify or change what we do, but not stop.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I guess this is why I encourage all three of my boys to do what they love - major in what they love and choose a job/field accordingly.  So much of one's life is put into their job (including if their job is homeschooling or volunteering or anything else unpaid) that it makes no sense at all to spend it doing what one hates all the time.  It makes sense to do it to pay the bills (and everyone in my family has done that at some point or another from working for a fumigator to fast food to grocery stocking, etc), but in the meantime, it also makes sense to be seeing what one wants to be doing and do what is needed to end up on that path.

 

I get bored when I'm NOT doing something.  I can't really fathom retiring.  Even when we move, ending our work isn't part of the plan.  We'll modify or change what we do, but not stop.

 

This is good thinking.  Growing up it was all about practicality.  The fact I went to college was seen as kinda "meh".  "What, do you think you are some kind of professional student?"  Which basically means....you have a cushy life if you aren't out working constantly (my life growing up was anything but cushy).  I went anyway and that was a big deal to me, but I had no plan.  I had no goals.  I had no idea what I could do because I had no role models.  I didn't even have people who were supportive.  It doesn't take much to understand how this could have contributed to my issues.

 

For the longest time I thought my kids should mostly concentrate on making money.  Go where the money is.  But fairly recently I started thinking..no that is stupid.  You'd be a heck of a lot more motivated in life to do something you love doing even if it it's not the best paid thing.  One of mine has it in his mind that he can't do anything with art.  Art of any kind is just for fun to him (and work can't be fun).  I told him if you like art...go for it.  People make careers that involve art.  Maybe you think it's dead guys being broke creating paintings that never sell until after they die.  There are way more options than that. 

 

I'm never not doing something.  Probably this message bored is the most down time I have. 

[regentrude]

I guess this is why I encourage all three of my boys to do what they love - major in what they love and choose a job/field accordingly.  So much of one's life is put into their job (including if their job is homeschooling or volunteering or anything else unpaid) that it makes no sense at all to spend it doing what one hates all the time.  It makes sense to do it to pay the bills (and everyone in my family has done that at some point or another from working for a fumigator to fast food to grocery stocking, etc), but in the meantime, it also makes sense to be seeing what one wants to be doing and do what is needed to end up on that path.

.

This, exactly. Sure , every job has some boring parts, but choosing something one loves is very important to me. And I see that all the people around me who are truly happy do work they basically enjoy -not every little detail every day, but overall.

 

ETA: I find it very important for our kids to see that their parents enjoy their jobs and are excited about their work. It is one of the things I really wish they can have in their lives.

Edited November 27, 2016 by regentrude

[Carol in Cal.]

If I were you, I'd study how to be positive and happy.

I don't mean those silly 'manifest yourself into your best life tomorrow' ones.

I mean the serious ones that are research-based.  

And then maybe write a popular level book about this, but in any case, try all the things.  Because unhappiness can be a habit, as can complaining, as can boredom; and there are some cognitive shifts that can help with developing a different outlook on the same circumstances.

[SparklyUnicorn]

If I were you, I'd study how to be positive and happy.

I don't mean those silly 'manifest yourself into your best life tomorrow' ones.

I mean the serious ones that are research-based.  

And then maybe write a popular level book about this, but in any case, try all the things.  Because unhappiness can be a habit, as can complaining, as can boredom; and there are some cognitive shifts that can help with developing a different outlook on the same circumstances.

 

Yeah that is definitely one of my problems.  I am very pessimistic.  I have tried reading some of those types of books.  I didn't find it helpful of course because ya know...circling back to the negativity I have....LMAO!

 

But see I like humor and laughing and I haven't had much of that in my life lately.  Maybe I need some more of that.

 

Sometimes I get so caught up in the monotony that I don't appreciate the good stuff. 

 

Thank you.  This is helpful (not that anyone here has been unhelpful!).

[SparklyUnicorn]

Oh dear god, it's not stupid. Money doesn't make you happy, but lack of it sure reduces your opportunities to strive for happiness. 

 

Motivation eventually suffers under bills, and not enough money to pay them. 

 

The arts are not a good risk. Look up median wages for all kinds of arts workers - writers, visual artists, actors in particular.

 

If a child insists on the arts, get them to marry well. The successful writers I know are married to women who provide the bulk of financial support through actual jobs. 

 

Oh I see him as someone who would be good with anything that involves popular type art.  Like marketing. 

 

I hear you though.  Money is not unimportant.  But I think going for what you love is worth the risk. 

[Bluegoat]

Let's just call it as it is. Sometimes, it's really boring staying at home and full time homeschooling. Sometimes, that's what you've gotta do anyway. So, sometimes you are really bored and you do your best to remediate it, but sometimes you just suck it up.

 

I vote common and normal. 

 

Homeschooling and being a SAHM are not highly intellectually fulfilling occupations. IMO. 

 

I actually find them more intellectually fulfilling than a lot of the other jobs I've had.  On par with the better ones.

[Bluegoat]

Yeah exactly.  Some stuff that has been suggested here in other threads were things that sounded ok, but none of them I'd be qualified to do.  And I don't know people.  I don't have family or friends who might be connections. 

 

I'm not done homeschooling anyway. 

 

I'm not doing nothing intellectually stimulating.  I'm taking courses at the CC.  I play the violin.  I read a lot.  It's not nothing.  Heck, I have a lot more time for that now than I would have if I had to work.  If I had to work I'd REALLY be bored. 

 

It strikes me that these are all things you do by yourself, except the message board.  Unless the CC course involves really interacting with people?

 

I know you're an introvert, but it might be that you need something involving other people or some sort of collaboration.  I'm a fairly extreme introvert, but I do find that I need some interaction with others.  Interactions online can provide some of that, but it isn't quite the same I think - it can make it easier to ignore it in a way, because it's so hard to make that happen as an introvert.  But something like playing the violin in a group might be a whole different thing than playing alone.

[lailasmum]

I do think decent incomes can be made in art based fields but there's so little time given to learning the business side of these fields that it's not surprising most creatives are clueless as to how to make money. Resources are available to learn to run a creative business properly but in my opinion creative training should be 50% business related. We didn't get taught much beyond needing business cards but I think our lecturers were clueless too.

 

I can see my eldest going into an art field and I'll encourage it and make sure she learns that business side too.

Edited November 28, 2016 by lailasmum

[luuknam]

sleep?

 

Otherwise I don't know.

 

I mean I spent 3 hours working on some math thing.  I did my homework.  I studied.  I read.  I played my violin for an hour.  I baked, cooked, cleaned, went to the gym.  Played bored games. I am wired and tired at the same time.

 

It's only 6 pm.  If I go to bed now I'll be up at 2.

 

I'd suggest sleep anyway. And if you wake up at 2 and rolling over doesn't work, getting up, reading a book for an hour, and then going back to sleep.

[SparklyUnicorn]

It strikes me that these are all things you do by yourself, except the message board.  Unless the CC course involves really interacting with people?

 

I know you're an introvert, but it might be that you need something involving other people or some sort of collaboration.  I'm a fairly extreme introvert, but I do find that I need some interaction with others.  Interactions online can provide some of that, but it isn't quite the same I think - it can make it easier to ignore it in a way, because it's so hard to make that happen as an introvert.  But something like playing the violin in a group might be a whole different thing than playing alone.

 

How can a CC course not involve other people? 

 

I interact with people regularly.  Far more than I'd prefer.  LOL 

 

Nope, I don't think that's what it is.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I actually find them more intellectually fulfilling than a lot of the other jobs I've had.  On par with the better ones.

 

Me too. 

 

Doing the same brainless things over and over and over again (jobs I've had) not too stimulating intellectually.

[creekland]

Haha, that works unless your child loves POETRY! And having babies! So she gets a degree in poetry, and publishes a book, and then has lots of cute little babies, and then one day, 20 years later, she wakes up and wails "Why didn't someone tell me to do something practical!"

 

And then she ends up working in Aldi, because at least they let you sit down at the check out, and she's got varicose veins, and it's boring as hell...

 

What I want to be doing is working in biopsychology research. 

 

But yes, if what someone loves is in any degree also compatible with living a decent life in the modern world, it's good advice. 

 

We've always had our guys look into what sorts of salaries they'll get with various options and how that fits into a budget.  They've found out they don't need big bucks to be happy anyway (none of them are "stuff" or "name brand" people) - esp comparing lives.  They know how much we make and "where it goes" so it gives them a guideline.  They then decide if it is what they want.

 

I don't know anyone who has made a living via poetry, but I know quite a few who have chosen the arts and seem happy with it.  I also know a guy whose mom paid for him to go through med school only to have him decide afterward that what he really wanted to be was a chef.

 

It's a tough call to know what one wants to do "for life" when one is a late teen/early twenty-something, so mine also know they can change their mind and pursue something else if they want to.  At any time they mainly need to know what their long(er) term plans are and be able to think/act in how to reach those plans - pretty similar to what hubby and I are doing now with changing our lives.  We've been happy/content up to now.  We just want something different in the future, so are working at getting there.

 

Most folks I know who aren't happy don't actually take steps to change anything even if they know what they want - or what they want is totally unreasonable (like getting a winning lottery ticket).  Like my dad (see Venting Thread - one of the more recent posts), they'll complain and complain, but do nothing - even when folks make reasonable suggestions.

[Bluegoat]

How can a CC course not involve other people? 

 

I interact with people regularly.  Far more than I'd prefer.  LOL 

 

Nope, I don't think that's what it is.

 

Some classes you don't really see much of the other students, you just sit in class with them.  There isn't any real discussion of the topic.  Everyone comes and learns about whatever and leaves.

 

Being a humanities person, most of my classes potentially could have had real interaction, but some just didn't, I didn't get to know the people or the prof, even their names really.  Saying hi to the person who happens to sit next to you, or catting with the prof about an assignment, isn't a substantial interaction.  It isn't like learning to play something with a group of people.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Some classes you don't really see much of the other students, you just sit in class with them.  There isn't any real discussion of the topic.  Everyone comes and learns about whatever and leaves.

 

Being a humanities person, most of my classes potentially could have had real interaction, but some just didn't, I didn't get to know the people or the prof, even their names really.  Saying hi to the person who happens to sit next to you, or catting with the prof about an assignment, isn't a substantial interaction.  It isn't like learning to play something with a group of people.

 

Uh yeah well that's true.  I have no interest in a humanities course. 

 

I am around people that I talk to several times a week either way.

[Rosie_0801]

We've always had our guys look into what sorts of salaries they'll get with various options and how that fits into a budget.  They've found out they don't need big bucks to be happy anyway (none of them are "stuff" or "name brand" people) - esp comparing lives.  They know how much we make and "where it goes" so it gives them a guideline.  They then decide if it is what they want.

 

You don't need to be a "stuff" or "brand name" person where Sadie lives. Rent eats most of most people's money. :ack2:

[creekland]

You don't need to be a "stuff" or "brand name" person where Sadie lives. Rent eats most of most people's money. :ack2:

 

True.  We've explained COL (with examples) to our guys too.  They'll get to choose what/where they want.  

 

I wouldn't have wanted my folks interfering with my choices, so I certainly don't plan to interfere with my guys' choices.  In my family (and hubby's), doing what one enjoys has been the family tradition (once past high school anyway).  There are very few choices one can't make a living with if looking at the big picture (including being open to where one lives as my guys can) and having talent (and/or education) enough to do it.