Is this rule too harsh....or reasonable? (Kids taking too many sick days)

[Loesje22000]

In elementary we had the subjects divided in:

Everything - Lite - Extreme Lite

Depending on dd's state of feeling we did on of these options.

Unfortunetly for dd the 'fun' part was in 'everything' not in Lite, and even in 'Extreme Lite' she still had to do some math (not her favorite in that time)

 

In Belgium, if you attend B&M school you have 3 'free' sick days, everything else needs a dokters note.

That might be an option.

[Melissa in Australia]

we so modified school work when sick.

 

example if a child has a supper bad headache they have to read for an extra hour and get to skip math - I cannot do math with a headache so why should I force them to?

 

 

[HomeMum]

I'm too harsh... I don't think I've even thought of "sick days" as being 'real things.'

 

[SKL]

I wouldn't stop her from playing on the weekend due to being sick during the week.  (Well, unless you think she is contagious.)  Playing outside, with or without friends, is something I would encourage as much as possible.  I might even force it.  :)

 

I would limit her screens / fun games when she is sick, and until she makes up the work.

[SereneHome]

we so modified school work when sick.

 

example if a child has a supper bad headache they have to read for an extra hour and get to skip math - I cannot do math with a headache so why should I force them to?

 

I can not imagine reading with a headache.  But may be people get different types of headaches.

[Heathermomster]

I take my kids to the doctor when they are sick. If your children have already missed 6 weeks of school due to headaches and sore throat, I'd take them both to an allergist and get them on meds to manage their symptoms. Maybe explore the possibiity of a food allergy.

 

This time last year, my DD had walking pneumonia and was using an albuterol inhaler that made her anxious. I substituted math sheet work for math games on the iPad. Otherwise, she completed all of her schoolwork.

[Tumbatoo]

If my kids are "sick" they have to stay in bed with no screen time. They usually recover pretty fast! Of course, if they really are sick it's obvious and they get a pass.

[Kathryn]

I can probably count on my fingers the number of sick days we've taken in six years of homeschooling. Only active vomiting or feeling so horrible that you have to sleep all day keep one from doing *something* here. I might modify what the school day looks like, but we still learn. Snot and sore throats don't keep one from learning.

[Janeway]

No computer before school. Then, if they complete their school day, they can have it.

 

For days like today, where she has already had the computer, I would do this...

 

Look super sympathetic. And tell her you are just so sorry she is sick. Make sure the TV is off and take up her computer. Until she makes up the school day, she gets none of that. And even then, I would say no for 24 hrs. For example, right now, even if she did the work now, she needs to be off the computer for another 24 hrs. Not as a punishment, but because it is what the doctor says she needs to completely heal. Sort of like how you take the antibiotics for another few days after you feel better. But act like you feel bad for her, not like it is a punishment. Just a natural thing that must be done when one is sick.

[Mergath]

We do school unless dd has a fever (100.4+) or she has large quantities of liquid coming out of somewhere it shouldn't. Or if she's just had surgery. Otherwise, suck it up, buttercup. I think we've had less than ten sick days in the last four years.

[Reefgazer]

It's not going to hurt a kid to school while they are slightly under-the-weather, even if it's an abbreviated day (math, English, and Latin, for example).  I'd tell them that sick days are for serious sickness only (vomiting, high fever), and we will be schooling this year through minor discomfort or we make it up on the weekend.  This has always been standard practice in my house and it works fine.

We are missing A LOT of school because of "sick days". 

 

We started school in late July, and my kids have already missed a month and a half due to sicknesses.   (And the height of cold and flu season hasn't even hit us!)   Many times they are not running fevers, but they swear that their throat is too sore (or their stomach is too upset..or their head hurts....or some other symptom I can't outwardly verify...you know?)  

 

I am always torn with what to do.   For example, this morning, my daughter woke up super early to play prodigy before school started.   She seemed fine when she was playing the game (laughing, cheering her character, etc.), but as soon as it was time to start school, she said she was too sick.  Now she is laying on the couch under a blanket crying.    She has no outward signs of sickness, but she says her stomach hurts and her throat hurts.   So what do I do?   Do I make her do school?   I feel so guilty because what if she does really feel too sick to learn?   How can I tell?  I really have no choice but to trust what she tells me.

 

This wouldn't be a problem, except that it is happening WAY too often.

 

I don't doubt that they are feeling kind-of-sick.   My kids are generally honest.   However, I get the feeling that if they are feeling the least bit not-okay, they want to use it as an excuse to take a sick day and just lay around all day.   If their nose is slightly runny---sick day.   If their throat is slightly sore-----sick day.   I feel like when they wake up on a typical Thursday and want a break (who doesn't?), it is a lot easier to make their symptoms bigger than they are in their heads.   For the past two years, this has plagued our homeschool.   It has become a huge problem that I have to constantly fight.   These sick days have the potential to completely derail our school year because when you are missing 3-4 months of school due to illness, it is very easy to fall behind academically.   In order to NOT fall behind, we end up having to cancel a lot of our planned family vacations/rest breaks.    This is making me resentful because I am never getting any rests.    Many times, I schedule vacations because I have stuff to do around the house other than homeschooling.   For example, it is nice to take a week off around Christmas to catch up with all of the things that need to be done.    The kids are never sick at the same time, which means I have to teach one and then make up the sick days with the other in order to get them to "pass" the grade and finish their basic schooling before the end of the year.

 

This year I kind of want to nip the behavior in the bud.   The problem is, I seem unable to teach them balance.   I want them to feel comfortable telling me that they need a sick day...if they really need it.  But I always want to teach them that sometimes you have to suck-it-up, and do school even if you are not feeling 100%.   

 

I have tried several things in the past that haven't been very successful.  

1)  I've tried to make their "sick days" as "unfun" as possible.  This way they aren't as tempted to want to take sick days willy-nilly. I've required that they lay on the couch and just rest.   The problem is, I have a toddler who is going through this incredibly needy phase.  (That is a whole 'nother thread!)   If I try to do school with my other older kids, the toddler finds a way to completely disrupt our day.   He tantrums and whines because no one is giving him attention.  Climbs on me while screaming while I am trying to teach a grammar lesson.  Or, the three year old starts to climb all over the sick child and cause lots of fighting and crying.   Typically, when everyone is healthy, I assign one of the bigger kids to play with the 3 year old while I do lessons, then we switch.   That plan goes out the window when I have a sick kid.   SO---9 times out of 10, I become so frustrated before the day is over, that I put on a show for my 3 year old just to allow us to finish a lesson.   Next thing I know, my "sick older kid" is happily watching sesame street or letter fectory and happy as a clown.   Do I need to isolate the sick kid to a bedroom or something?   Whatever the case, My attempts at making the sick days "not fun" just don't seem to be having an effect on making them happen less frequently.

 

2)  I've tried making up the sick days on the weekend.   My thought is that if they know taking a sick days isn't going to result in a total vacation day (they lose their weekend rest days), then they would be more motivated to try and do school durring the week.  However, the problem with that is that we live VERY busy lives and I can't consistently make that happen.   Our weekends are usually very full.   I need one day for cleaning, meal planning, food prep, laundry, etc.   I can skip that, but then our week just doens't run very well.   Then we typically have family plans on the other day like church, pumpkin picking, family visiting.   (This weekend, for example, my husband is running a half marathon.   Do we skip going to see him to make up the sick days?   Do you see my problem with weekends?)

 

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So now, I am thinking of implementing a new rule to try to nip this behavior in the bud.    HOWEVER, I am waffling back and forth about whether it is too harsh or not.    My daughter is VERY motivated by playing with her neighborhood friends. VERY motivated.  She pretty much lives for 3:30PM when the public school kids get home and all she wants to do is go and play with them.     I, of course, don't let her go out and play on days when she doesn't do school.   But I am thinking of telling her that if she takes sick days during the week, she doesn't get to go and play with them on the weekend.  She nees to stay home and rest.    Tell me, is that too harsh?   If so, What other ideas do you have?  

 

[sbgrace]

It's hard to change precedent, but we don't do sick days here unless it's obvious a kid is too sick--meaning child is vomiting, lethargic from a high fever and wants to just sleep all day, etc. It rarely happens here, and I make that determination. There have a been a handful of times when I was doing school and then realized I shouldn't have started--easily remedied though. It sounds like your kids are forgoing work for issues that wouldn't keep school kids from attending school or your spouse from home from work? Can you talk about that and then say no more unless a fever over 100.5 or obvious stomach stuff (like puking)? The same things that would keep school kids home? You could always make school light if you sense a kid is really off for whatever reason. What you're describing really sounds mostly habitual to me.

 

One of mine will get up early to do fun stuff before school, then he's tired and doesn't learn well. I would wonder if the waking early for the screen is part of your issue. No one feels good when tired, and lots of kids (even adults) find it hard to transfer from something like that to getting stated on work.

 

 

 

 

[frogger]

Like other posters we do modified school when children are sick. This depends on the age of course. Younger children get more read aloud time, if it is a cold then older kids can read more books and do less difficult things. Then when they are well they can double up on difficult stuff without needing as much time to read that biography, etc.

 

If they are constantly sick, I have one that gets so throats easier, he has a cup of tea and a cough drop right before he reads aloud and we move on with life.

[frogger]

The way I do school, by the time I'm worried that they really need school or will fall behind they can do plenty of chores. It is NOT a punishment just a fact of life that if you are doing school on the weekend then you have less time and the "was sick" child can have a couple extra chores beyond what are regularly his or hers.