Horrific Stench at Church...aka "perfume and Aftershave" JAWM

[Χά�ων]

Frankly, I am a bit jealous of those who only deal with mild discomfort. Just be happy being around the smells does not cause you to start coughing and choking, your throat to swell, and you to start vomiting. Ask an allergy mom what those symptoms mean, if you do not know and feel blessed you do not know.

 

I do not get the sympathy for you from so many posters. I was slammed for not wanting people to stand on my property smoking and tossing out hypothetical solutions that would be inly mildly uncomfortable for the people but keep me alive. Both cigarettes and perfumes cause the same severe allergic reaction in me. It is not a matter of discomfort, it is a matter of a potentially life or death situation.

[vonfirmath]

I have this feeling that if it is only me, I shouldn't ask.  Because it seems like many of them are in love with their powerful scents. 

 

Maybe it isn't only me though.  I don't know. 

 

 

It isn't just you. My husband has not been pushed out of church yet. But when we go to the mall, he has to hold his breath or otherwise avoid the perfume section.

 

[Reefgazer]

While I disagree that scent is just for you and a spouse, is there one or two particular offender(s), or does your entire church own stock in Axe body spray?  I'm thinking maybe talking to a few offenders about toning it down would be an option, or just sitting away from those few offenders?

Edited October 10, 2016 by reefgazer

[Princess Ariel]

I totally understand what you mean about the scents as I find I am getting more and more sensitive as I get older.  Church does get bad at times but I am noticing it more lately when I am in Target and walk by women (always women, never men) and smell something that I can only describe as a "cheap" perfume smell.  Maybe it's not even perfume but hair and body products that have a strong scent that makes my throat, nose, and eyes burn.  The Target is near a YMCA and I am thinking some of them have just showered there and then head over to Target when they are finished.  I notice it right in the produce section at the front of the store where they enter. It's really awful.  I suppose better than body odor but it is annoying. I don't think Target would go for a scent free store... 

[Guest]

Even if stores tried to go scent free they couldn't do it. Some of the worst offenders for my own issues are plastic bags, laundry detergent, cleaning supplies, and the bath section in general. If you eliminated scented candles and cordoned off the cleaning and laundry supplies there would still be items that smelled too strongly for someone who is sensitive.

 

I can handle a whole bottle of decent perfume better than I can tolerate a roll of trash bags (seriously, scenting those is stupid!).

[ktgrok]

Even if stores tried to go scent free they couldn't do it. Some of the worst offenders for my own issues are plastic bags, laundry detergent, cleaning supplies, and the bath section in general. If you eliminated scented candles and cordoned off the cleaning and laundry supplies there would still be items that smelled too strongly for someone who is sensitive.

 

I can handle a whole bottle of decent perfume better than I can tolerate a roll of trash bags (seriously, scenting those is stupid!).

 

LOL, I love my apple scented trash bags! They smell good (to me, obviously) as I take one off the roll, making me less irate that I'm the only one that replaces the trash bag :)

[cintinative]

A church I attend sometimes has several rows dedicated to "chemically sensitive," or some such phrase. It's put a little more delicately, but they're reserved with signs which get the point across.

 

We have a row labeled "fragrance free zone"  for this purpose. I have a friend who always sits there, and there are others that always sit there also.  Hopefully they could work this out? It is in the back of our sanctuary separated by a row of space with no chairs  so you don't have the danger of someone sitting behind you or in front of you with fragrance.  

 

Personally I don't like heavy fragrances at all. Too much fragrance does start to make me feel yucky in close quarters so I can sympathize. Every time we ride in the car with my MIL I get headaches.  

[FaithManor]

What we need is an all out consumer war on artificial scents added to everything. It has gotten out of control. I can handle some lemon essential added to something, but good grief all of this perfumed stuff is completely overwhelming and becoming a public health hazard.

Edited October 10, 2016 by FaithManor

[Mergath]

I can't imagine anyone would have a problem skipping perfume for one day. I wear a very small amount of nicer perfume (one tiny spray, never more than that) but I skip it if I know I'm going to be around people who are allergic or sensitive to it. I'd have zero problem not wearing it if there was an announcement that it was bothering someone. If I went to church I'd probably forgo the perfume on Sundays anyway just because it's so many people in such an enclosed space.

[Mergath]

Frankly, I am a bit jealous of those who only deal with mild discomfort. Just be happy being around the smells does not cause you to start coughing and choking, your throat to swell, and you to start vomiting. Ask an allergy mom what those symptoms mean, if you do not know and feel blessed you do not know.

 

I do not get the sympathy for you from so many posters. I was slammed for not wanting people to stand on my property smoking and tossing out hypothetical solutions that would be inly mildly uncomfortable for the people but keep me alive. Both cigarettes and perfumes cause the same severe allergic reaction in me. It is not a matter of discomfort, it is a matter of a potentially life or death situation.

 

For what it's worth, I'd like to see smoking banned completely. 

[QueenCat]

I can't imagine anyone would have a problem skipping perfume for one day. I wear a very small amount of nicer perfume (one tiny spray, never more than that) but I skip it if I know I'm going to be around people who are allergic or sensitive to it. I'd have zero problem not wearing it if there was an announcement that it was bothering someone. If I went to church I'd probably forgo the perfume on Sundays anyway just because it's so many people in such an enclosed space.

 

I think the problem is that there are so many things with scents. I think of all the things I have that have scents: my shampoo, conditioner, soap, body lotion, foot lotion, mousse, hairspray.......... and then there's the handsoap I've used several times before leaving the house. I don't wear perfume and if I did, would gladly skip it but I'd be afraid that I'd forget and still use one of the above plus most of the above will be needed in the morning. Could probably skip the lotion and put it on later but not wash my hair? Just trying to figure out where the happy medium is........ I don't want my friends to be sick but I'm also not going to skip taking a shower..... None of things I use are super scented except the lotion but everything, even supposedly unscented things, have scents.....

[HS Mom in NC]

I have a weekly standing walk in B-12 shot appointment at my local med spa.  A few weeks ago they had a scented candle burning and it was AAAWWWWWFFFFUUUUUUULLLLL!!!!!  I just told the receptionist in a matter of fact tone, "I'll wait outside until she's ready to give me a shot because that candle smell is horrific." Then I walked outside. They got rid of it. 

I hate plug in fragrances, floral toilet bowl clip on tablets, most scented candles and most incense. I use unscented deodorant, unscented body wash, unscented clothes detergent, unscented fabric softener.  When I do use fragrance, I believe in "a little dab'll do ya" for scented lotions and "spray, [once]delay, and walk away" for perfume.  If you're not hugging me or standing very close to me, I don't think I should assault your nose with my scent and I certainly don't want my nose assaulted by your scent. 

[Mergath]

I think the problem is that there are so many things with scents. I think of all the things I have that have scents: my shampoo, conditioner, soap, body lotion, foot lotion, mousse, hairspray.......... and then there's the handsoap I've used several times before leaving the house. I don't wear perfume and if I did, would gladly skip it but I'd be afraid that I'd forget and still use one of the above plus most of the above will be needed in the morning. Could probably skip the lotion and put it on later but not wash my hair? Just trying to figure out where the happy medium is........ I don't want my friends to be sick but I'm also not going to skip taking a shower..... None of things I use are super scented except the lotion but everything, even supposedly unscented things, have scents.....

I think most people would be happy if you skipped things like perfume and scented lotion, but aren't going to expect you to buy all new shampoo and soap. My mom is super sensitive to fragrance, but even she doesn't expect that.

[Ellie]

  :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

Scents don't bother me, but I understand that they bother many people. We were at choir practice at church one time, in the sanctuary, and a man who smelled as if he had bathed in some nasty stuff came into the sanctuary. My friend had an instant asthma attack, such that we had to call 911. :eek:

[gaillardia]

I agree! I hate to smell it too, just hate it. Doesn't cause me problems, usually. Has a couple of times.

But I think the worst offenders have been the teen guys. Some girls, but more guys.

Even my son has been guilty of it.

My mom, years ago, would have reactions.

They have put out a notice at our church (nationwide), don't wear it to church! Too many people allergic to it. I don't notice it except for the kids wearing it. And this one woman.....it isn't me!

what am i doing up so early? ugh!

[QueenCat]

I think most people would be happy if you skipped things like perfume and scented lotion, but aren't going to expect you to buy all new shampoo and soap. My mom is super sensitive to fragrance, but even she doesn't expect that.

 

Good to hear. I can skip the lotion :) And doubt I'll ever wear perfume. I really do try to be considerate of others.

[Violet Crown]

While we're at it, if I may beg between choking coughs from my inflamed palate, can parishes please go to the trouble of getting decent incense? Yes I'm looking at you, St. V------. You can find out which manufacturers are cutting theirs with cedar chips like heroin dealers adding baby powder, and avoid them. And skip the allergenic floral additives; frankincense was good enough for Baby Jesus.

 

And clean that thurible once in a while! Besides keeping the congregation from choking, creosote fires are not the flames of Divine Love.

[El...]

While we're at it, if I may beg between choking coughs from my inflamed palate, can parishes please go to the trouble of getting decent incense? Yes I'm looking at you, St. V------. You can find out which manufacturers are cutting theirs with cedar chips like heroin dealers adding baby powder, and avoid them. And skip the allergenic floral additives; frankincense was good enough for Baby Jesus.

 

And clean that thurible once in a while! Besides keeping the congregation from choking, creosote fires are not the flames of Divine Love.

:lol:

[marbel]

Scented fabric softener is yucky, too.  Some people's clothes just reek of that stuff and I don't know how they can stand it!

 

They can't smell it.  They are immersed in it so they don't know.  It's like... do you know what your house really smells like?   No, because you're in it so you can't smell it, unless you add something new.   Like, baking bread, or mulling cider with spices.  (Or just simmering spices or lemons like I do sometimes.)

 

Last week my daughter had a friend sleep over.  The smell from her bedding and clothing was so strong.  We had to air out the house after she left.  

 

My husband occasionally has meetings at the home of someone from church.  He has to shower and wash his clothing, down to the undies, when he comes home.  The stench just sticks.  

 

These people would be shocked to know how strong and objectionable the smells are.  

[TranquilMind]

While we're at it, if I may beg between choking coughs from my inflamed palate, can parishes please go to the trouble of getting decent incense? Yes I'm looking at you, St. V------. You can find out which manufacturers are cutting theirs with cedar chips like heroin dealers adding baby powder, and avoid them. And skip the allergenic floral additives; frankincense was good enough for Baby Jesus.

 

And clean that thurible once in a while! Besides keeping the congregation from choking, creosote fires are not the flames of Divine Love.

 

Ugh...incense.  We used to attend a church where the priest waved incense around but it has been a few years so I forgot about that.  I had to leave while he wafted that heavy, awful-smelling smoke around. 

 

The scripture reference is that our prayers are LIKE incense before God (and the lifting of our hands like a sacrifice, which they ignore).  Psalm 141

 

It isn't literal, people, I wanted to say. 

 

But of course there is this:  "and the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, rose before God from the hand of the angel." From Rev.

 

I guess they think it is literal incense.  I do like breathing though. 

 

 

[TranquilMind]

I have a weekly standing walk in B-12 shot appointment at my local med spa.  A few weeks ago they had a scented candle burning and it was AAAWWWWWFFFFUUUUUUULLLLL!!!!!  I just told the receptionist in a matter of fact tone, "I'll wait outside until she's ready to give me a shot because that candle smell is horrific." Then I walked outside. They got rid of it. 

 

I hate plug in fragrances, floral toilet bowl clip on tablets, most scented candles and most incense. I use unscented deodorant, unscented body wash, unscented clothes detergent, unscented fabric softener.  When I do use fragrance, I believe in "a little dab'll do ya" for scented lotions and "spray, [once]delay, and walk away" for perfume.  If you're not hugging me or standing very close to me, I don't think I should assault your nose with my scent and I certainly don't want my nose assaulted by your scent. 

 

I hear you.  The orthodontist office went through this nasty trend for awhile, with a hideous smelling candle burning.  I told them I had to wait outside.  Maybe a few others did too, because they stopped.

 

[BigMamaBird]

I'm usually not bothered by scents, but an older lady sat behind me on Sunday who reeked of "Old Lady Perfume."  It was awful!!  It doesn't make me sick or anything, but it was quite distracting.

[Violet Crown]

I guess they think it is literal incense.

Yes, we do. :) YMMV.

[ktgrok]

Ugh...incense.  We used to attend a church where the priest waved incense around but it has been a few years so I forgot about that.  I had to leave while he wafted that heavy, awful-smelling smoke around. 

 

The scripture reference is that our prayers are LIKE incense before God (and the lifting of our hands like a sacrifice, which they ignore).  Psalm 141

 

It isn't literal, people, I wanted to say. 

 

But of course there is this:  "and the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, rose before God from the hand of the angel." From Rev.

 

I guess they think it is literal incense.  I do like breathing though. 

 

 

 

My parish always advertises ahead of time which services will have incense, so you can avoid them and go at a different time if you want. I think that's a good solution. It's only a few times a year, and they don't do it at every service that day. 

[MamaBearTeacher]

Thankfully my sensitivities have gotten better. when they were bad I remember many things were worse than perfume, like hand creme, clothing detergent, fabric softener and air freshener, not just in the room but the smell of people who have air fresheners, especially plug-ins in their home. I remember one place where I worked I could smell someone's perfume wafting through the vents of the building. I don't think her office was anywhere near mine either. I was happier on the days she was not there.

Natural scented products don't bother me. I think a lot of scented products actually contain chemicals that cause cancer so it would be better for everyone if they banned those chemicals and stopped producing them.

[Guest]

They can't smell it. They are immersed in it so they don't know. It's like... do you know what your house really smells like? No, because you're in it so you can't smell it, unless you add something new. Like, baking bread, or mulling cider with spices. (Or just simmering spices or lemons like I do sometimes.)

 

Last week my daughter had a friend sleep over. The smell from her bedding and clothing was so strong. We had to air out the house after she left.

 

My husband occasionally has meetings at the home of someone from church. He has to shower and wash his clothing, down to the undies, when he comes home. The stench just sticks.

 

These people would be shocked to know how strong and objectionable the smells are.

My mom didn't believe me when I told her my laundry smells like nothing. She actually sniffed it when she flew up for a visit and was shocked that they weren't stinky OR scented (I used fragrance free detergent and no fabric softener). She is just so used to the background smell of her laundry products that she couldn't imagine laundry without it.