Konmari/minimalist advice sought

[Janeway]

We have a biggish house. Maybe not so big, but about 4000 square feet. Only two children share a bedroom and the rest have their own room. Husband works from home and has an office. There is also a media room and game room.

 

I started with Konmari maybe a year ago. My house was constantly trashed. I had to hire a cleaning person to come in and even she charged a lot because I could not keep up with the mess and she had to help. I have worked very hard over the last year to reduce, reduce, reduce. "Reduce" is my mantra now. My husband agrees with me that we need to reduce and he is really starting to see a difference. I switched away from the idea of sparking joy and moved on to the idea of needing to reduce to what is used. But, similar ideas.

 

Still have some issues....

 

1) I have this this table in the game room. It gets used, a lot. Mostly, kids build with legos there, books get piled there, right now, the computers are there as I had the kids move from the dining room to there because we have company and needed the dining table. Problem is..that table does NOT spark joy. I would say I really really cannot stand that table. We have 6 desks and 3 tables in the house. That does not include anything child sized. But it gets used. I cannot stand it because it was a hand me down from someone I cannot stand. Even though it gets used, it is not THAT necessary. I am thinking we would adjust to not having a table there. Would you rid of it?

 

2) my husband buys stuff. It is a bit of a problem where I have spoken to him, kindly about it. "Honey, the extra tooth brushes and tooth pastes and soaps are all in the drawers in the closet, here, in this one corner (I point out the exact corner and which drawers contain this). Spare medicines are in the medicine cabinet above the toilet in our bathroom, so that small children cannot reach them. Yet, he will come home with 3 Nyquils. I ask why and he says he needed some NyQuil and we were out. I check the cupboard and find 4 more bottles. I ask him about those and he says he had no idea they were there. He just bought some more tooth pastes and tooth brushes. I could not even put those away because the 3 drawers holding tooth pastes and tooth brushes are so overfull. Somehow, and I have no idea why, because he is very bright, the idea of things being kept somewhere escapes him.  The organization escapes him. Would it be rude, or prudent, to make a chart and tape it inside the cupboards in the kitchen and bathroom cupboard since those are the only places he looks?

 

3) how do you maintain Legos?  Legos are all over the floor. I pulled a train table to the room and put the Legos in there, but it was too short. No one used it. I have plastic under the bed containers, but they keep getting dumped. The baby is walking now and twice today alone, hurt himself when stepping on Legos. 

 

 

[mommymonster]

We have similar challenges at our house! We went through a huge Konmari purge last year. It's amazing how much more smoothly the house runs now that there is less *stuff* in it. Our house is similarly sized, but we have had a number of family members living with us for the past 10 years. In any case, here's what I do with the issues you posed:

 

1. What would happen if the table goes away? When we have something that we want to be rid of, we put it in the garage for 10 days or so to see what happens. Try to get it out of the space and see if you miss it. 

 

2. Oh my stars, my husband does that, too! I have labelled bins for medicine and toothbrush/tooth paste, as well as a battery box, light bulb box, picture hanger box, etc. If he buys duplicates, I ask him to return them. For us, DH just is overwhelmed by the size of our house (we all are). We're working on downsizing the house, now that family isn't living with us.

 

3. All Legos are in the boys' bedroom.  For built Legos, we use a 2x4 Expedit from Ikea. For the flotsam and jetsam Legos, we have a huge under-bed storage bin. The legos get put away, under the bed, or the ones left out are "mine." If the Legos are mine, they stay mine until extra chores are done. 

[MSNative]

Get rid of the table! If you can't pull some other piece to serve the purpose, then you can buy one that does spark joy.

 

Can you use a label maker to label containers, shelves, etc.? If he's just buying toiletries I might let him just go with it rather than push it if it causes stress.

 

Legos are evil from the devil. Ok kidding. We have thousands too. I look forward to hearing what others say

Edited July 28, 2016 by MSNative

[City Mouse]

Yes, make a list, but he may not look at it.

I sometimes think my DH would be a hoarder if I wasn't around to throw things away after him. In fact, I have not had to buy bar soap in two years because my husband cannot stay in a hotel room without bringing home all the soap and shampoo. The funniest part of that is that he is very picky about his shampoo and will not use the shampoo, but I guess it is okay for me to use it. :-)

 

Get rid of the table if you don't like it. Make a rule regarding where the Legos go and enforce it. Legos that are left on the floor and get stepped on will be thrown away. If the kids can't keep the Legos up, they probably have too many apanyway. Donate the excessive toothpaste, tooth brushes, OTCmedicines to a local shelter or food pantry. It sounds like you husband will never notice.

[Desert Strawberry]

I'm not sure how helpful I can be. We live in a small house with mostly repurposed stuff. 

 

1. Is the table practical? Is it useful? Does the room have good flow? Could you swap it out for a different one?

I would be hesitant to dispose of something that is useful unless I could easily replace it.

 

2. Each of my children have a Lego box. They are stored on a high shelf in a closet. They can be used on the kitchen table ONLY. Any legos left out will be swept into the trash. I've been doing this for close to ten years and somehow we still have legos. 

 

3. Would your husband like a chart? Ask him. Mine would not. He would not be pleased. Maybe yours would. 

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

The table? Get rid of it. Get another table that you can use for the same purposes but one that does spark joy.

The husband? I have no idea. Wish I could help. My husband's clutter is horrible. You can't cause someone else to declutter or organize.

The Legos? We had (have) several large Rubbermaid  bins with lids. Just shovel 'em in.

:)

[Eagle]

I give you permission to ditch the table. If you need a table there you will find another solution that works better once you get rid of this one.

 

Ds has plastic drawers for storing Lego, and they stay in his room. If you have several dc that share Lego then I would get one of those tarps where the sides fold up (or make one by adding Velcro to the corners) and have all Lego play happen on the tarp. When they are done you can tip the tarp into a bin and close the lid.

[kubiac]

2. He doesn't see the house the way you do. He probably never will, but it's always good to try to communicate and encourage him to feel invested in the organization of your home. Best of luck.

3. Toy parachute. Legos stay in the parachute. Any Lego that escapes the parachute space goes in the trash. Kids open parachute to play, close parachute to put away Lego work. 

[Carrie12345]

I avoided Legos while I had babies in the house.  Unfortunately, that didn't stop other tiny toys (Pet Shops, etc.) from finding their way here!

 

Our rule was that itty bitty toys were banned from areas babies could be in, and babies were banned from areas with itty bitty toys.  Legos and the like get dumped.  It's just what happens.  Even when dh and I play with Legos, they get dumped.  How else would you find what you need?  (And I'm an obsessive Lego sorter. So I will never expect better from children!)

 

In our <1,100 sf, we used baby gates to solve little piece issues.

[Bluegoat]

1) Husband - ask him to find a solution that he thinks will work for those types of things, clearly the drawers don't do it for him.  You might have to change the way those items are organized.

 

2) Table - it sounds like the table is being used.  Is it because there is no other place for the things on it, or because you need a table there?  I would try and find a proper place for those things, and then experiment.  Do they keep reappearing?  If you put the table away, what happens - do people leave the things in another space or complain they don't have a place to lay out their work?  If youfind you do need a table, I would either get one you like, or somehow make that one more appealing.  You might also consider that it is a location issue, you just need to move it to where it is less annoying.

 

3) Legos - I would keep them where kids have to ask for them, in a high closet or shelf.  Specify they must be cleaned up and returned to you before they move on to other activities.

[samba]

Donate unopened toiletries and toothbrushes to shelter. They are needed and will be appreciated.

 

Could you have a shopping list posted somewhere and tell DH that if it isn't on the list, you don't need it/already have it? It sounds like he's trying to be helpful. My DH would do the same thing...we have so much cough medicine in the house and we're rarely sick!

 

Legos stay in a room little ones don't have access to. I would confiscate any Legos left out and probably ban playing with them temporarily if they aren't played with in safe areas. Choking hazard.

 

Put table out of the house and see if you can live without it for awhile. I know if there's no surface to pile things on, I'm more likely to put them where they belong or find a new space that I can live with for those items.

[cjzimmer1]

I am very practical nature but nature so I don't follow Konmari strictly. It would bother me far more to spend money on a replacement table than to learn to live with a functional one I already own. I just can't justify wasting money that way. However, if I could learn to live without the table, than yes I would get rid of it. Although it seems your reaction to the table isn't really about the table itself as much as a reaction to the person the table came from. Any chance you can resolve those feelings in a positive manner?

 

About DH, we have learned that DH Just needs to ask before purchasing things. His method of organizing and storing things is so different than mine. He never thanks to look for something in what I consider a logical place and vice versa. So since I handle most of the shopping, he has just learned to ask me if we have . . . Before going out and purchasing it. 9 times out of 10, I've already restocked the item in question.

 

We two complete but separate Lego collections, the girl Legos and the boy Legos and neither one is small and they fight if they think even one brick has ended up in the wrong pile. Anyways, the boys collection is confined to their room (with a toddler proof handle to keep the little gut out of their stuff), the girls collection is in the downstairs toy room (where the teenage boys have no desire to go). Legos are not allowed out of those rooms except brief forrays to show me a new creation and then they must be returned. The girls build on a table too. Anyways these keeps the Legos off the floor in the main areas of the house and prevent toddlers (and adults for that matter) from stepping on them. Our youngest is 3 1/2 and has only recently been allowed to play downstairs. So during the mouthing and learning to crawl/walk stages he was never near Legos or anything else with small pieces. Now I will say that the teenage boys do have Legos on their floor. It doesn't bother me. The room is theirs to maintain. The only rule is there must be a path to the storage closet in their room so I can put extra bedding away. Otherwise it's their room, their problem, if they step on them and get hurt or break a pice, well that's their own fault.

Edited July 28, 2016 by cjzimmer1

[heartlikealion]

check exp. dates on previously purchased meds, keep receipts and return some new toiletries or donate? Ask him where he wants stuff stored/where he looks for those items. Maybe keep some there just for him.

 

I might ask my dh to return. The act of returning might make him think twice about buying next time. Tell him to just text you first if he is unsure.

 

Could you afford a new table or paint/change the existing one to make it more likeable?

 

Legos get one room, keep baby out of said room or check legos are returned after use?

[Janeway]

check exp. dates on previously purchased meds, keep receipts and return some new toiletries or donate? Ask him where he wants stuff stored/where he looks for those items. Maybe keep some there just for him.

 

I might ask my dh to return. The act of returning might make him think twice about buying next time. Tell him to just text you first if he is unsure.

 

Could you afford a new table or paint/change the existing one to make it more likeable?

 

Legos get one room, keep baby out of said room or check legos are returned after use?

The table is not just ugly, but the person who gave it to us, it was a handmedown from them, later was accused of crimes and looks guilty but I don't really know how things turned out legally and I am so disgusted. Every time I look at that table, I think of what they did. I did not like the looks of the table to begin with, but it had a purpose so I let it go. But now, I can go to Big Lots and get a cute "pub set" table for less than $300. Plus, it is no longer a safe space from the baby as the baby climbs on it. That is right, little guy is a big climber. 

Edited July 28, 2016 by Janeway

[prairiewindmomma]

1. Get rid of the table.

2. Is dh willing to change? Mine was, but he is very visual. If he doesn't see it, it doesn't exist to him, we created a specific set of shelves for storing items with labeled bins--one for medicines, one for toiletries, etc.

3. 4000 sq feet is huge. We had a huge house before and downsized considerably in our past move to a house that is all one level. It is much more efficient than our previous house. We got rid of about 6 tons (12,000 lbs) of stuff prior to our move and I haven't regretted ditching anything!