When Did Your Child Become an Independent HS-er ?

[Ummto4]

Or when do you plan to get them to become more or less independent ?

4th, 5th, 6th, 7th ? What subject do you ask them to do independently ?

 

Right now, I have a 6.5 yo (1st grader) who still needs my guidance except for cursive practice. IT's okay with me. But I have curricula which require parent-student interaction: SWR, RIghtStart and possible IEW on third grade. Also in the list: Nebel BFSU for science and history + geography reading (planning on reading what LCC recommended for history though). When my ds on the third grade, then my dd is going to be on the first grade. That'll require a lot of hand holding as well.

 

So I'm asking how do you start relegating some indepndent work to your child. I think for first and second, that'll be minimum. But for a third grader, I really hope that my son will be able to go through at least the history and geography reading, and IEW independently. Is it realistic ?

 

Thanks

[sandalwood]

I can't remember an exact moment, but by 3rd grade my son was doing a good bit of independent work. Math, readers, cursive/copywork, reading some history (I still read aloud) are things that come to mind. Maybe some science, but we usually still do that together. I remember feeling so "free" when he was able to do work on his own. You'll get there, I promise! :)

[Starr]

My son read on his own in third grade. He'll read forever but everything else needed "company". He still at 12 prefers to talk about most everything as he does it. LOL

[abbeyej]

Never, I hope! ;)

 

Now, if you mean doing some subjects with minimal help, sure... My 2nd grader does her spelling on her own, and parts of her math without help (though I still teach new concepts and help when she has questions). Handwriting is basically without me, and she does assigned reading on her own... My fifth grader does many subjects without my direct intervention, and simply comes to me when he has questions.

 

But many other subjects we do *together*. I wouldn't *want* my kids to do history or literature completely on their own. There is great value in *discussion* of these subjects, and that value actually *grows* as kids get older. I think teenagers desperately *need* a mentor -- an older, more mature person (parent or otherwise) -- who can draw them out of themselves, force them to consider things beyond their experience, ask deeper questions, follow up beyond where they want to lay off a subject...

 

If anything, I think older kids require *more* from their parent/teachers, not less. Yes, they can handle basic skills on their own (they should be able to read to themselves, write proficiently, etc), but in terms of *time* and mental energy, parents are actually expending *more*, not less. (With little ones, even if we're involved in every minute of their schooling, it's not all that long per day!)...

 

But yes, in terms of doing a few individual things on their own... They do a little more each year. And when it comes to reading on their own or doing workbooks, there's a steady movement away from needing extra help. Learning to read well and to have clear, efficient handwriting (correct form not only makes handwriting more legible to the reader, but makes it easier and less tiring for the writer) will help to bring this about, so time invested in those skills is very worthwhile. Attention to detail -- careful reading of instructions -- is also vitally important if you want kids to work well on their own. Again, a skill worth cultivating. It's also worth teaching a child when to skip things they can't do on their own and how to mark them for help from you later.

 

But don't count on your child becoming an "independent home schooler". I think it's a really unfortunate goal to have. An ability to work independently at times is very helpful! But it should not be the ultimate goal -- it should be one of an arsenal of tools in producing a more educated person...

[Alenee]

I think it depends on the child's personality though 8yo seems like an age I hear most kids find their groove with a program they've been using a while. With my 9yo dd, I couldn't even get up for a quick glass of water until she was 7.5yo. Several friends have said the same thing about that age. My 6yo however, who is very independent does quite a bit on her own unless she gets stuck. Her day consists of copywork, cursive, math, ETC, SWR, piano. I walk her through the SWR enrichments but the rest on that list, she does independently.

[Frontier Mom]

I think it depends on the child's personality though 8yo seems like an age I hear most kids find their groove with a program they've been using a while. With my 9yo dd, I couldn't even get up for a quick glass of water until she was 7.5yo. Several friends have said the same thing about that age. My 6yo however, who is very independent does quite a bit on her own unless she gets stuck. Her day consists of copywork, cursive, math, ETC, SWR, piano. I walk her through the SWR enrichments but the rest on that list, she does independently.

 

I agree. My younger two are already working much more independently than my older two did at their age. I think it has something to do with personality of both the dc and Mom at the time. What I mean by that is now I don't have the time to sit individually with each one on each subject so the younger two have figured out on their own, "Hey, if we want to finish before supper, we better learn to do some things on our own." Funny how that works.

 

Now, I will add it has a great deal to do with the curriculum choice too. I have ditched curriculum I loved because I just couldn't get it all done.

 

"Too much curriculum that requires my time does not a good school year make.":glare:

 

At some point I had to make choices. What subjects did I want to have lots of involvement in and which ones could I let them handle. For instance, though I loved SWR, it just didn't work for us because it either took waaayyy too much individual time or we just didn't do it at all. Usually the latter. So, this year I am using Natural Speller and they are acing the test every Friday. No, they are not learning all the rules I would like for them to as they go but they are learning to spell adequately.

 

Hope this rambling makes some sense. Independence for me is a process and is dependent on so much more than age. Good luck as you move ahead.

[Kris]

*sigh* He still isn't. He tries so hard -- I don't know what the problem is. Another issue this morning. . . we're both pretty frustrated and just trying to work on it one step at a time.

[Chris in VA]

dd8 could get started on a worksheet and pretty much finish it by the end of first grade, but she'd still come over to me for help. (Saxon math worksheet)

 

Total independence--that's totally different. Ds19 still needs interaction for discussion.

[Michelle T]

and also what you mean by "independent".

 

Does independent mean the child does ALL of the work in a particular subject, or just does the reading on their own? Or does a worksheet or page of exercises on their own, but is guided in other areas?

 

Anyway, my DS is 12, only just starting to be somewhat more independent in some subjects. He has severe LD's and ADHD, so is quite "behind" academically.

 

He has done daily assigned reading for a couple years now. This year, he has a geography textbook that he reads, and then I ask him a few questions. He has started doing science reading and worksheets on his own, although he often needs guidance in answering the questions (well, more than "often", nearly always).

 

He gets some assigned history reading. He does math review sheets on his own, but needs complete guidance through math lessons. I read most of our history out loud, and then ask him questions, or have him do the SOTW tests.

 

Language arts are still entirely guided by me, he needs a lot of help in this area.

Michelle T

[MIch elle]

My 9th grader still comes home from his private school and does his science homework & reading aloud with his dad just like he did in grades 4-8. He dislikes his science teacher (the worst of all his teachers). His dad, my dh, is a PhD chemist. They both enjoy doing science together. Most other subjects he does independently but occasionally needs help.

 

In grade 5 & up my dc did/do IEW Phonetic Zoo spelling along with reading independently.

 

For math, English, history, science, etc. there is a period we spend together reading aloud or me teaching; then ds does his independent work (math problems, English worksheet, etc.).

[Ummto4]

What I mean by independent is at least he can work on something by himself while I help my dd - when the time comes (in two years).

 

At the moment, our curricula are teacher-intensive. I've tried to throw in math mammoth some days to supplement RS. He sometimes did it decently. But lots of time, he chewed on the paper, or made a hole in his math worksheet:confused1:. And that's after almost one hour after I left him with the worksheet.

However he can work quickly if we do this orally and I write his answer on his worksheet. He sort of improves now because he can work on his cursive worksheet for 10 minutes without me coaching him. But I still don't trust him with math worksheet.

 

As for history and science ...

For history, I would like him to be able to read his history reading (a chapter or less) by third grade, then discuss or narrate with me.

For science, well, I want to be involved, so I wouldn't like to give him worksheet-based science program to him. We love BFSU anyway.

 

For IEW or writing tales or other writing program which we may use in the future, I would hope he can do some stuff semi-independently. And also grammar program which we use in the future.

 

 

So what I'm hoping for him in the third grade, is I don't have to coach him 100% and sit next to him like I do now (except for cursive).

 

How realistic is this ? How do y'all do it ? What subject do you ask your dc do semi independently or independently starting third grade ?

Dian

[abbeyej]

What I mean by independent is at least he can work on something by himself while I help my dd - when the time comes (in two years). ...

How realistic is this ? How do y'all do it ? What subject do you ask your dc do semi independently or independently starting third grade ?

 

Yeah, I think you can do that. I have both of my kids work in the same room, but they have separate desks. I have a spot on the couch between them, and they either come snuggle up to me for instruction, or I hop on over to them...

 

I did want to recommend some "intermediate" steps with your son though. It's a *huge* leap from doing RS with you and worksheets orally to being left alone to make it through a written worksheet. Yes, it may *seem* to us like it's not such a big deal ;), but to him it really is huge. So next time, try handing it to him and say, "You're going to do this on your own. I want you to finish these four problems across the top before I come back" and walk away (but stay within sight) for about a minute. Then turn back to him, "Did you get them? That's great! Okay, now I want you to keep going..." If he finished them all, praise him. If he didn't, then gently redirect. Keep coming back.

 

After he can consistently do 4-8 problems without getting distracted or feeling overwhelmed, then you can ask him to finish half of the page while you go start the laundry. Or whatever... But break it into steps. Let him see that it *is* manageable. When you come back to him, you can say, "Okay, what should you do next?" Give him more ownership, bit by bit.

 

But yes, that sort of independence *can* be fostered.

[FloridaLisa]

But lots of time, he chewed on the paper, or made a hole in his math worksheet:confused1:.

 

There are two parts to independence: self-control and ability. You should start now to train your son to work by himself or do some activity by himself. Give him simple directions, ensure that he understands, do an activity near enough to listen and watch in and intervene with reminders as soon as the attention wanes or he gets off track. I'm training my 20-month-old even now to sit still and quiet during our Bible. It took about 3 days and she is usually wonderful for a half-hour. And she's not easy by nature. So training for following directions and self-control is KEY.

 

Secondly, his independence should grow as his ability to read and follow directions grows. Even now, you should be able to find an activity or worksheet that he can do with simple oral instructions from you even if he cannot. As his independent seat work grows, have him follow the same routine every day. I love Abbeyej's idea to make a seat work *notebook* that the child can open and do each day. I've not had to do that but I've kept it in mind as a backup should I need it.

 

Finally, if you want independence, you may need to choose some curricula or supplements that are not teacher driven. Our seat work for my youngers regularly included Explode the Code, math fact worksheets, copywork, Daily Grams and sometimes memory work pages or blank maps or math manipulatives. You can also use CDs for spelling or math supplements.

 

Hope that helps. I wouldn't worry too much about what 3rd grade will look like in 2 years. But, I would begin the training now as well as teaching your child to read and follow directions. As he's able, introduce independent work so that 3rd grade is just one step up from what you did in 2nd.

 

HTH,

Lisa

[Firefly]

Hi Dian, I currently have a 5th grade DS and 3rd grade DD. Right now it is working really well because DS can do Math (Saxon) pretty much independently with the Saxon DVD while I do DD's Math (also Saxon) with her. History (SOTW) we read together, map work and timeline together but DS does his outline independently while I help DD with her narration. He does often need a little help with the outlining since this is his first year with it. They are both reading independently except for certain read-alouds. Spelling they each do independently (SWO). Grammar lessons (FLL# and ILL) I usually do with each of them at separate times; likewise with science experiments though once again I try to encourage independent reports/write-ups with DS because DD still needs more direction.

 

SO, to answer your question, in my house in grade 3 there was definitely some independent work being done with DS. I am finding however that DD needs more hands on. So, it is certainly realistic to expect some time for your 3rd grader to work independently, but how much he will work that way is dependent on his personality. Hope that is helpful! Don't worry-- however you decide to do it, you WILL find a way to make it work!

 

Kelli

[Narrow Gate Academy]

What I mean by independent is at least he can work on something by himself while I help my dd - when the time comes (in two years).

 

So what I'm hoping for him in the third grade, is I don't have to coach him 100% and sit next to him like I do now (except for cursive).

 

How realistic is this ? How do y'all do it ? What subject do you ask your dc do semi independently or independently starting third grade ?

Dian

 

Last year my 3rd grader did...

 

math - semi independently (lesson with me, workbook pages alone)

grammar - semi independently (lesson with me, written exercises alone)

spelling - lessons independently, test with me

writing - dictation and CW Aesop both with me (hoping to make CW semi independent by 5th or 6th)

history - together although this year both my 2nd and 4th have 1 or 2 assigned biographies a week to read independently and narrate to me

science - together because we like it that way, probably more independent around 6th grade

critical thinking - independently

Latin - semi independently (complete worksheets on her own)

 

HTH

[Peela]

My oldest was independent at some things from age 9 when she first came out of school. Lucky she was, because the younger wasnt very independent until this year- he is 12! Now he can handle a lot more on his own, but he still prefers lots of interaction.

I remember when he was 9 thinking, OMG, am I going to have to sit with him for everything? It drove me craxy. But I think it was worth it, he relaly needed that one on one (learning diffculties).

Every child is different, but even at six, can you not assign 5 minutes of work and walk away? I never homeschooled a 6yo so I dont really know.

[angela in ohio]

Dc will never be totally independent in their school work. I have absolutely no desire for that.

 

As far as getting them to start doing some follow-up work independently, I start slowly in first grade. My little 1st grade guy finishes the second half of each phonics exercise himself (he had phonics last year, so it is not new to him.) He also practices reading one short book independently (and one with me.) He does copywork each day and he finishes it off with a picture on his own after I have watched him copy the sentence or stanza. He also does a math drill sheet alone. I meet with him for his lessons once a day, four days a week, for about two hours and then he does his independent work after a break.

 

My 5h grader is up to completing the entire math set of exercises herself after I teach the lessons. She is in Essentials class at CC this year, and she does the grammar pretty independently (she had 3 years of R&S English, so much is review.) She also does her IEW for CC (also review of several years) independently for each week. She has a co-op Botany class, and she completes the homework herself, and I just keep tabs on her.

 

My 7th grader is pretty similar - independent with most of her co-op class work and with completing exercises after I teach the lesson. She has Forensics, Drama, Latin (I'm her teacher,) and Logic at co-op, and she keeps up with them all herself. I teach her math and science several days a week, and she completes assignments between those days. Same with Starting Points.

 

My basic rule, after about 4th grade, is that they have to be taught the material, either by me or someone else (co-op, CC.) Other than that, they work independently. It seems to be the best of both worlds here. They are learning in to manage their time, but they still get solid instruction.

[Laura Corin]

Hobbes is in third grade. I teach him anything new, but exercises (maths, English) he does fairly independently. I stay nearby in case he needs help. History and science I read with him - there are so many talking points that come up that I think are important.

 

I still teach Calvin (6th) new topics as they come up in English, languages and maths, but he does much of the reading for history, etc., alone. I talk it over with him as he does assignments.

 

Laura

[Rosy]

When DD was in first grade last year, she was independent for math, spelling (except tests), Bible, handwriting, and reading. We didn't consistently do history or science, but I would have her read from SOTW.

 

DS is in 1st this year, and far from being independent on any of those things. He's not even close to reading like his sister, and with her even when she wasn't reading I could tell her what to do and she'd do it independently for the most part. DS needs a LOT of handholding.

 

All that to say, it depends on the child.

[Ummto4]

Hi everybody,

 

Thanks for your suggestion. The idea of finishing the worksheet step by step (or minute by minute) is so good. I'll try with my son next time we have worksheet to complete. HOpefully he won't have time to chew on his paper :001_smile:.

 

Actually, for the first two years, I think I can still manage giving him sort of full time attention. But once his sister joins (in two years), then I want to be able to leave him with worksheet for exercises (lesson with me, exercise independently).

 

Even now, his sister craves for attention. She wants to do school to and begs to learn. And she's supposed to be a pre-K-er.

 

So, in the middle of my son's sentence dictation and cursive worksheet, I give my daughter the attention she craves (reading, S-pore early bird/other activity books and some memorization work). During my son's RS (math), my daughter is involved in giving my son base 10 cards, then my son has to write me numbers represented by those cards. For science and history, she tags along with her brother. The only time in which I really need to give him full time attention is when we go through the 20 new spelling words (weekly) for SWR because I have to explain the rules for the words he doesn't know how to spell.

 

So at the moment, I can still handle it. But I got panicked thinking what will happen in two years if I keep on doing this, and my daughtr needs more serious attention.

 

So thank you for sharing the tips on how you can make your child work independently. At some point (next two years, that is), I'll have to search curricula which won't require that much parental involvement. I'll need your input for that. I love SWR and RS. My son flourishes. He understands arithmetic and starts grasping some rules of spelling (and we're only on the fifth week or so). But I know I may not be able to continue with SWR like it is now when he's third grade, and his sister gets to first grade. His sister is going to get SWR as a first grader as the rule in SWR is so precious I want to expose all my kids to all those rules.

 

But I don't know whether I will continue SWR when he's at the third grade. He's not a bad speller anyway. Any suggestion ? I have spelling plus dictation which we use occasionally with him too.

 

Dian

Edited October 6, 2008 by mom2moon2

[moosemomma]

My oldest is 7.5 (second grade) and I am starting the transition to independent work for next year when I will have a 3rd and 1st grader. When your son starts second grade you will probably want to start to make the transition to independent work.

 

I am working on independent silent reading (or as "read in your head time"). I have started with DS reading whatever he likes for 20 minutes and now we are transitioning into I pick a short reading selection and when he is done he can read what ever he likes. We also have read with mom for 20 minutes (either phonics workbook or a book for science or history-) We should finish OPGTR by the end of November/beginning of December and just read with mom for 20 minutes. My goal is to have two 20 minutes silent reading times by the end of second grade.

 

I am also trying to transition him in language arts and math to being semi -independent by the end of the year. I spend 10-15 minutes teaching then I get out a timer and set it for 10 minutes. I ask to work on the assignment while I leave the table to do something else, if he has a problem then he can ask for help or skip and we will discuss it when I come back. Then we sit and work together to complete the assignment. I am currently doing this with math and spelling. He is completing spelling fairly well by myself, but math needs work. He also is doing his copywork independently after our grammar lesson which is fairly teacher dependent and will be til fourth grade.

 

I plan to teach science, history, and Bible together next year so that will not be a major issue.

 

Jill

[frogpond1]

but for independent homework my ds 4th is doing an excellent job and dd 6th does great too. DS 8th needs a bit more monitoring since he is the social director of fun and ds 2nd does nothing all on his own except a little fun reading but he is my mini social director of fun so he'll probably always want someone nearby. Math gets direct instruction daily and all other subjects get instruction 2 days a week with 3 days of homework here. I really never want my kids to just go off and do it all on their own without instruction at least before high school.