At what age do you stop music lessons?

[wintermom]

If the child doesn't want to study music seriously or teach, at what age or level do you stop lessons?

 

My dc have all been taking music lessons (private instrument, group and theory) since they were each around 6 years old. It's been a huge money, time and energy investment, which we've supported and been very happy with. Now we're at the point where our oldest (nearly 16 and going into 11th grade) has reached a high level exam, still enjoys playing, but knows she won't study music and very likely won't ever teach. She has opportunities to play regularly at church, and potentially other larger and/or smaller groups, in order to maintain her skills and play for enjoyment. 

 

The tough decision for me, is when to stop the lessons? It would be nice to funnel that money to other things. I also know she'll have less and less time to practice in the upcoming years. It's so hard to pull the plug, though.

[OneStepAtATime]

What does she want to do?  11th and 12th grade can be very busy.  Does she want to continue with music lessons?  Or is it mainly you that worries about quitting lessons too soon?  

 

I would seriously be asking myself and probably my child (and answering myself as honestly and clearly as possible): What would the purpose of the lessons be at this point?  If she has been taking lessons since the age of 6 and has plenty of opportunities to play and has no intention of going into music as a career or as a teacher, what would be the purpose of continuing lessons at this point?  Is there a specific goal in mind?  Something she has not yet achieved that she would like to?

[Arcadia]

I stopped piano lessons at 14, 9th grade after having lessons since I was 4. It gave me time for other things because I didn't have the time for consistent daily practice anymore. I had lessons again in college but for flute and violin.

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

We all (8 of us) had to take lessons through 12th grade. After that we could choose to continue lessons but we had to pay for them. Half of us stopped, half continued. :-) My youngest sister is graduating in a couple of weeks and she plans to stop after the recital in June. My parents did let her drop her second instrument, theory class, and chamber group and orchestra a couple of years ago but she had to keep going with piano. I'll probably require music lessons through high school for my kids too.

[MerryAtHope]

I don't base it on age or level so much as the student's desire and motivation. I wouldn't stop lessons for a high school student who still wanted to grow in his or her skills--now is such a unique time in life, and I think there's value in continuing to study an instrument, just like there is value in studying literature or science or history even if a student won't go on in one of those subjects. OTOH, if the student isn't practicing and doesn't have the heart to keep up--then discuss stopping the lessons.

[JanetC]

A nearly 16 year old should decide whether the music is more important than the other opportunities available for her time.
I had one 15 y.o. stop lessons outright, but the other just curtailed to every-other-week because she really loved her flute teacher.

 

 

[wintermom]

What does she want to do?  11th and 12th grade can be very busy.  Does she want to continue with music lessons?  Or is it mainly you that worries about quitting lessons too soon?  

 

I would seriously be asking myself and probably my child (and answering myself as honestly and clearly as possible): What would the purpose of the lessons be at this point?  If she has been taking lessons since the age of 6 and has plenty of opportunities to play and has no intention of going into music as a career or as a teacher, what would be the purpose of continuing lessons at this point?  Is there a specific goal in mind?  Something she has not yet achieved that she would like to?

 

She's really enjoys playing with her violin ensemble, which is lead by her teacher. If she stopped taking lessons, she wouldn't be able to play in this group anymore. Or she could probably join a youth orchestra, if she wanted to gain that experience. She'd need to be taking regular lessons to support this.  I'll have to see what she'd really love to do.

[G5052]

My younger one is going into 12th and is seriously considering quitting.

 

At one time she was playing at a very high level in competition, but surgery in 2014 made stepping back necessary, and I don't think her heart is in it any more.

 

We have to decide by June 1st for summer and fall, and my gut is that she'll stop. I told her to make the decision. You never know, but I see that her interests are elsewhere of late, and that's fine.

[Ausmumof3]

I quit because the academic load was too high. But some adults still have lessons. I would probably support it if she wants to keep going until she's able to earn and pay herself. she may not want to teach now but may later find it helpful too.

[wintermom]

When I was at my daughter's level, but on piano, I just didn't have to desire to put in the time and effort required to keep up the high-level classical songs. I didn't have any groups or ensembles to play with for fun, thus no big motivation to keep going. I switched to organ and had 2 really fun years using all the skills I'd learned through piano, but on another instrument. And now as an adult, playing for fun and for church, I'm finding that the chording techniques I used with organ are often more helpful as we use a lot of guitar chords and very little sheet music.

 

I'm wondering if it might be worthwhile for her to try out a different genre of music, such as fiddle or folk, and just have some fun.  On the other hand, if she hung in there for another year she'd be up to string quartet level, which could open up even more possibilities for group playing. She could also try adding in or switching to viola. 

 

So many options.

Edited May 9, 2016 by wintermom

[Tsuga]

If the child doesn't want to study music seriously or teach, at what age or level do you stop lessons?

 

My dc have all been taking music lessons (private instrument, group and theory) since they were each around 6 years old. It's been a huge money, time and energy investment, which we've supported and been very happy with. Now we're at the point where our oldest (nearly 16 and going into 11th grade) has reached a high level exam, still enjoys playing, but knows she won't study music and very likely won't ever teach. She has opportunities to play regularly at church, and potentially other larger and/or smaller groups, in order to maintain her skills and play for enjoyment. 

 

The tough decision for me, is when to stop the lessons? It would be nice to funnel that money to other things. I also know she'll have less and less time to practice in the upcoming years. It's so hard to pull the plug, though.

 

I want my kids to learn to play to an intermediate level. Beyond that if they wish to stop playing I will let them. If she can get the four years of music on her college applications, I see that as a plus because it shows dedication. However it's not necessary.

 

I do not envy the time you are in but I do envy how far your daughter has made it. Congratulations to her!

[mathnerd]

If she is playing the violin and if she is having fun, it would be worth continuing - violins are portable unlike the piano and she can take it with her to college and play on it as and when she likes.

 

For my own child, I require him to play his instrument until he turns 14 at which point he can make a choice of continuing or stopping. He is with a good teacher who is capable of teaching him until he is 18 years old and he gets along well with her. So, he is thinking that he will continue with her until he goes to college. He does not want to teach music, but he wants to minor in music along with a STEM major at this point. He also wants to do a lot of other things, so I am waiting and watching as to how his interests will play out.

[IsabelC]

I'd just inform her that once she turns 16, music lessons are no longer compulsory, although she may continue if she wishes. Then go with what she says.
While you might miss it for a while if she gives up, you can be satisfied that you have given her enough of a music education that it will stay with her in years to come, she can enjoy playing for fun and she will be able to take it up formally again later on if she so desires.

Edited May 9, 2016 by IsabelC

[gstharr]

Two sons with piano lessons starting at 6y.o.. The older one played to the 11th grade before track and girls took over.  The younger one is about to stop at 6th grade.  He has too many activities to practice regularly.

[J-rap]

We wandered through this with our dd and her violin.  She loved playing, but decided she wouldn't play it professionally nor would she play in college.  (She would be going to a college that had no music department at all, in fact.)  When she was around 16, she decreased her lessons to just once a month or so, usually just to get advice/help with certain pieces she was working on.  By the time she was a senior, she wasn't taking lessons regularly at all anymore, though again, if she was working on a song for an event and wanted an extra ear to listen to her practice, she'd arrange a single lesson with her old teacher.  That seemed to work out well, and her teacher was more than happy to meet with her from time to time.

[Ali in OR]

We dropped piano when older dd was in middle school and youngest had just finished 4th grade. They just didn't have the interest to practice and I was too tired by that point to make them. Both play band instruments at school now and practice for occasional auditions, but not regularly. This is working well for their level of interest.

[basketcase]

For many people, the level they achieve in high school is as far as they will progress on the instrument. So I'd think about it in terms of adult playing - does she play well enough to confidently try out for a community orchestra, for instance? Does she know how to learn a piece independently? Can she work her own fingerings, bowings and interpretations?

 

It sounds like she might be able to do all that already - I don't regret quitting cello lessons and orchestra during my senior year of high school. I wasn't passionate about it, and I play well enough to use it. But I grew so much as a pianist during my last couple of years at home. So I can see an argument for both sides, for sure!

[wintermom]

Thanks for all the suggestions and ideas, everyone. It looks like dd will continue with lessons and ensemble next year while the desire and momentum is still strong. Her confidence has been growing as well, so it makes more sense to build on the positive. We'll have to squeeze the time and money out somehow. ;)