When you're a couple of days into school and somewhat overwhelmed/discouraged...?

[Colleen]

I ran out of space for my thread title; guess I can't decide what I want to say. Maybe I just need to connect with other people who have "been there, done that" (or are there right now:)). This is somewhat a school issue and somewhat just life ~ mothering/homemaking/etc ~ in general.

 

I inevitably come back from Switzerland feeling lesser-than and that seems to be the doubly the case ("doubly"...is that right?) this time around. No one is subjecting me to comparison ~ at least not outright ~ but it's hard not to inflict it upon myself. (And there is a lot of subtle comparison by people close to me.) It seems like every Swiss woman I know has it so together. Their houses are totally clean and organized and well-decorated. They can all cook well. They all keep a garden (one that's not unkempt!). They're calm and cool and collected and yes, I know I'm not a fly on the wall so I don't see/hear how they are day in and day out but I swear these people are almost unreal.

 

None of these people homeschool, of course, so they have a lot more time to put into all these other endeavours. Unlike here, they don't have to ferry their children to and fro for school activities, or fulfill elaborate school supply lists, or serve in 101 different capacities at the school. Their lives are so different and yes, in some respects enviable.

 

Nonetheless, I believe in the work I'm doing and I come home and wholeheartedly take it up again ~ only to feel after a mere couple of days like I'm in way over my head. I feel like I'm stretched so thin I don't do a really good job at any one thing, much less give any one child the attention I'd like. My oldest is of course doing much of his school work independently, which is as it should be, but the older he gets, the more important it is to me to be there to engage in discussion. And as I've mentioned an embarassing number of times, I don't have a clue which direction I'm headed as far as his writing/lit analysis is concerned. There are too many choices, too many approaches, and I'm at that point wherein I've lost my own "inner voice" (if indeed I ever had one) as to what's best. No wonder the kid is asking if he can go to high school next year.:o

 

The three middle guys are the easiest in the sense that I've btdt with those grades. We love Sonlight history and I'm excited to be revisiting Core 3 with my 5th and 3rd graders. Again, though, I feel like I'm squeezing things rather than giving them the attention they deserve. And Kai is a handful, a challenge, call-it-what-you-will. I do make a concerted effort to focus on him at certain times throughout the day, but he doesn't even thrive off of that. He turned 4 a couple of days ago but he's quite a bit different than my other guys were at this stage. He still doesn't want to spend much time together reading. You'd think he'd be interested in "doing school" like his big brothers, but he's not so much. He can get really involved playing on his own; otherwise, he can be a real distraction for the older guys.

 

I don't know. I realize this is just life, but it's hard, ya know? I mean, life isn't hard in the sense that we have fresh running water and safe streets and so on. But our individual realities ~ in my case, feeling overwhelmed with five kids and a farm and chronic back pain and a challenging marriage ~ are still our realities.

 

Good grief, I'm rambling. Did I have a question somewhere in here?:tongue_smilie:

[kat19]

:grouphug:

I don't really have anything to say, just wanted to give you hugs. And know that there are others out there that feel the exact same way.

:grouphug:

[momofkhm]

Did I have a question somewhere in here?:tongue_smilie:

 

I have no idea. I'm going with the back to real life after vacation issue. I went to visit my folks with the kids for a week and even though the kids are doing school, I'm having a hard time focusing. I used to get everything graded every day, now not so much.

 

I have laundry sitting on my couch from Saturday - and it's not folded! Large piles will be added to it today. I too envy women who get it all done. I'm certainly not one of them. I follow the saying "I can do one thing well, clean the house or teach the children. I chose the children." That may not be it exactly though. The kitchen is a mess!

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: dear one. Go for a run. Maybe it will clear your head a bit.

[PeterPan]

Oh Colleen, my dd is like your youngest, the one who would play all day (and pretty creatively too!) but never have an interest in school work. She just doesn't, and it has no reflection on what I've done or tried to do with her over the years. It just is how she is. So on that point, don't torture yourself. Just establish the amounts you want the non-school-motivated to do, do it, and then let him play. Mine has an entire circus planned, complete with costumes, snacks, roles for the neighbor kids, etc.! It only gets better, haha... Maybe he'll be your Josephine March. :)

 

Are you suffering from jet lag? Coming back is always worse than going, and there's just the blunt reality whomping you upside the head with doing your own cleaning and your own ugghy life (as opposed to the glamor, maid service, eating out, etc. of travel). Give yourself time. When I was a kid, I thought growing up and being on the right track meant an easy life. Somehow the church even seemed to teach that: go the wrong way and snakes will eat you, go the right way and... Implying that if you were on the right path and doing the right thing, life would be honkey dorey and full of songs and great, kwim? But instead, somehow life is much harder than I ever could have imagined. Everybody has their own hard way, but I'm not sure anybody escapes, not really. I remember a girl in Russia taking me aside on a walk, after we had been chatting, laughing, and having so much fun (as there is fun to be had, even in a 3rd world place like the boondocks of Russia), and she wiped off her smile to look again like a typical Russian, said to take her picture and remember always that life is HARD. So she was 19 (I was 20), and while we were enjoying things, she knew the hard stage was ahead.

 

You're gonna make it. Maybe pamper yourself a little or start a new, supportive thing for yourself. Do you get massage for your back? Maybe that every other week, even a 1/2 hour appt., would be just the thing. With so many boys, you might not get much girl/woman time.

[Carol in Cal.]

It's funny, when I was young I would have felt the walls closing in on me if I lived in a place like Germany or Switzerland; or even in a small Midwestern town. The idea of those clear, narrow cultural expectations literally made me feel panicky and oppressed. I was raised to feel that way. My mother, like every single housewife I knew, never had anything good to say about her life. Partly this was the natural tendency to only comment on the bad, never on the good. (Now, looking back on it, I realize that her intermittant but deep depressions had a lot to do with this.) To this day, I have a hard time expressing joy without feeling childish and faintly ridiculous, and I can see that it's hard to create good feelings with others without sharing them. And lots of great and not-so-great Western literature celebrates leaving everything that is safe and stable behind--'he went out into the world to seek his fortune'--the classic opening setting in so much of my reading.

 

As a mother, I really enjoyed being home with my DD--much to my own surprise. I loved it. But it was a choice, and I had to choose it and defend it. So those other cultures look a lot better to me now, because in those cultures they value and even take for granted things that I have to worry over and fight for and decide about, over and over and over again. And in those other cultures, there is a common expectation that children will be provided with a good education. That elderly people will be cared for in a humane fashion. That there is really no reason to worry all that much about the future, because a good society takes care of its own--it's just the right thing to do, obviously. That everyone should work hard but that falling into existential angst is just silly and unnecessary. That the people around you are all basically similar, with shared values and upbringing. That there is a cultural consensus that is so completely assumed that it's not fully conscious (like water in which a fish swims)--right and wrong, manners, customs, even music and holidays--all passed on almost without intention because they are so totally pervasive. Sometimes I envy those people their sameness, their sharing, their sense of community.

 

I love the choices that I have had. I love having lots of options in life. I love the variety and diversity of modern life, especially in urban-ish California. But sometimes it just makes me so darn tired. To have to choose all the time. To have to question every little thing. To have so many many decisions to make, every day. To live in a community where even extending human compassion and generosity is not assumed or sometimes even considered normal. Where there really is not 'community' in any true, heartfelt sense of the word. Where the very idea of a cultural consensus is almost offensive. When I started reading about the Amish and got wistful, I knew I was in trouble.

 

Yes, sometimes I do get tired.

[PariSarah]

A's, B's, and C's all get degrees.

 

What do you call the guy who got all C-'s in med school? Doctor.

 

Sorry that I only have academic metaphors to offer. Shooting for the B+ has been my way of life for ten years now. Maybe I'm too easy on myself, and maybe I've got a little grade inflation going on in my self-evaluation. Maybe the sweet lady yesterday in the cafe, who said a kind thing, made me feel a little better about myself than I should.

 

But I do find it helpful to remember that there's a wide, wide difference between a B+ and failure. You don't need access to stories of spectacular failure--my father (a police officer), my mother (a pediatric nurse), and some of my friends (social workers and teachers) have provided me with plenty of those--to recognize that a B+ or an A- mom is still a beautiful, beautiful thing.

 

I'm the sort of person who's gotten A's all my life, so the whole disappointing people, failing to meet expectations, etc., thing sometimes overwhelms me. I'm sorry if that's where you are right now. I hope there's a sweet lady hanging out in a cafe near you, who will say a kind thing and lift your spirits.

 

In the mean time, embrace the B+. You'll do more, and better, and with less damage to your soul. Maybe pick one thing every day that you'll do an A+ job on. And let the rest settle for the B+.

[Scarlett]

I don't know. I realize this is just life, but it's hard, ya know? I mean, life isn't hard in the sense that we have fresh running water and safe streets and so on. But our individual realities ~ in my case, feeling overwhelmed with five kids and a farm and chronic back pain and a challenging marriage ~ are still our realities.

 

Good grief, I'm rambling. Did I have a question somewhere in here?:tongue_smilie:

 

 

Yes, I do know. All things are relative of course. I only have one child and no farm and yet I am feeling very overwhelmed these days. I have closets that are very messy, dirty ceiling fans, dirty windows, the patio needs swept. My child is getting educated, but everything else is barely getting done.

 

And yet what am I doing? Sitting here typing out messages onto a board. :001_huh: I feel paralysed at times by indecision and by the sheer amount there is to do. I think that feeling is compounded and intensified by what I perceive to be a lack of appreciation and support (of hs'ling) from dh. Lack of engagement. I listen and listen and listen to him and then when I talk to him I sometimes think (in a comic way) that I should wave my hands in front of his face and say, 'hellooooo? Can you hear me in there?'

 

So I focus on the good about dh (of which there is much) and try to keep myself going. I don't always feel paralysed. I often am very productive as I am sure you are.

 

As far as your oldest's Lit----have you asked him what direction he thinks he should be going in? And are you considering letting him go to public school next year? If so that might play a part in your curriculum decisions this year.

 

Anyway, hope you feel better soon. The first few weeks are always the worst.

[lovemyboys]

None of these people homeschool, of course, so they have a lot more time to put into all these other endeavours. Unlike here, they don't have to ferry their children to and fro for school activities, or fulfill elaborate school supply lists, or serve in 101 different capacities at the school. Their lives are so different and yes, in some respects enviable.

 

Nonetheless, I believe in the work I'm doing and I come home and wholeheartedly take it up again ~

 

:grouphug: I singled out part that used to bug me. I was the only homeschooler in my whole neighborhood area for a good while. All the other homes were immaculate -- well decorated, clean, neat. Then one day I stopped to realize that after the summer chaos or weekend activity, these moms all got hours and hours to clean up, organize, do household chores, run errands, redecorate, not to mention exercise, "do" lunch, do projects, read books, join the tennis club, shop for the perfect end table, etc. Somedays, that was really, really tough especially if I was struggling with our school or our mess or some personal issue.

 

During those times, I tried to focus on the good things (not that you aren't :)), on the fact that I wasn't totally frustrated by the math program the ps was using, or how dc were flourishing even if we were having a bad week, or the sunshine, or something.

 

You have a lot to deal with and you've just gotten back from your holiday. You missed all the angst that many of us were dealing with a few weeks ago as our schools started up again.

 

Hope you all settle into a routine soon. Glad to hear the little one can play by himself, that's good! And those "perfect" Swiss homes will fade into memory.

[Jugglin'5]

Colleen, I have a similar kind of ennui going on with my life and homeschooling in general. My marriage is fine, but I feel somewhat spiritually dry and don't have the same enthusiasm for things that I used to have. For the first time ever, I didn't spend my evenings in bed going through the Veritas and Rainbow Resource catalogs, agonizing over upcoming curriculum choices. My oldest is also an 8th grader. I have always home schooled. Sometimes I feel like I am waiting in vain for my second wind. Is it some kind of 9 or 10 yr homeschool mom itch? Is it the vague realization that with high school pressing upon us, we are now getting ready to play for keeps? Is it a pre-midlife crisis?:tongue_smilie: Maybe the trouble is that choices have been made, and it is too late to get a do-over. Maybe it is the responsiblity that is hanging over my head. I don't want be a grown-up. I want, like Charlie Brown said, to be able to go to sleep in the backseat of my parents' car, totally trusting and oblivious.:grouphug:

[Kate in Arabia]

Colleen, I can so sympathize. I feel like whenever I visit my inlaws I need a period of time to kind of decompress. I will never be the "ideal Indian wife", but it sure is hard to get beyond the feelings of inadequacy sometimes, even if there is no overt complaint from anyone, kwim? I bring a lot of it on myself.

 

Like I said, it generally takes me a while to recover my balance.. don't know if it helps, but wanted you to know you are not alone on this particular front..

[laughing lioness]

:grouphug: I actually knew Danish dairymen in the SW and they are very much like you describe! One of the wives (a good friend of mine) was American and her mil about gave her a break-down every visit. At 70 she was out washing windows on ladders, cleaning the heating filters, etc each day (on her visit!), cooking, baking, etc. The dh just didn't get the pressure his wife felt.

Other than that, I hear ya. I love my life. I love my kids. I love homeschooling. But it's easy to get wrung out doing so much each day.

I'll be praying for Peace to find you :001_smile:

[Colleen]

I don't really have anything to say, just wanted to give you hugs.

 

I appreciate it.:)

[Colleen]

Go for a run. Maybe it will clear your head a bit.

 

Oh, sweetheart, don't even go there. While I was away, I was able to run a grand total of twice. Two runs in three weeks. Whoopdeedoo! I'd hoped to get back into it right away here at home but I'm hamstrung by lack of sleep (thanks to the time change, Kai is up and ready to go each "morning" at 3 ~ :blink:) and major back trouble. I went for a short (3 mile) run yesterday and my back is absolutely killing me today. Bleh.

 

Good luck getting back into the groove!

[Colleen]

Thanks for your note. I was so surprised when I poked about on the board for baby news and found both you and Barb are still preggo. Those final days are so exciting! (Okay, maybe not when you're the one waiting, but from this side, any-hoo.;))

 

Just establish the amounts you want the non-school-motivated to do, do it, and then let him play.

 

Oh, I'm not into having a just-turned-four-year-old do school, per se, but I'd assumed by this point he'd be into it on his own, Ya know, just spend a bit of time occupied at the table, "reading", "writing", etc. He is fabulous at playing by himself, so for that I'm grateful, but he can also be a serious distraction.

 

Are you suffering from jet lag? Coming back is always worse than going

 

No, but Kai is, which is essentially the same. He's bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the middle of the night. My kids always have more trouble coming west than going east.

 

there's just the blunt reality whomping you upside the head with doing your own cleaning and your own ugghy life (as opposed to the glamor, maid service, eating out, etc. of travel)

 

Yeah, I guess, although I was really very happy to come home. I did a good bit of feeding and cleaning while I was away, so I wasn't totally in la-la-land.

 

Do you get massage for your back?

 

I've yet to hit upon anything that helps my back. Things have been worse lately and I plan to go to a sports chiropractor whom I met earlier this year. Chronic back pain can definitely take a toll on one's life.

 

Well, best to you as you enter your baby-moon. Enjoy every bit of it!:)

[Colleen]

I feel exactly the same way when I get back from Germany. But 99% of the people I visit while there don't even have kids. The 1% I have met with kids live like we do. Clutter, toys, disorganization, and chaos are normal parts of life with kids (especially when they are very young).

 

That's interesting that you know so few German people with children. All our Swiss friends have kids, most of them at least a few, but their lives definitely aren't chaotic or disorganized. Honestly, they aren't rushing around getting ready ahead of time for company, either. Not that they're all perfection, no flaws, but I've learned a good deal from the Swiss as far as being organized is concerned. (Not so much that I don't feel lesser-than by comparison, though.:tongue_smilie:)

 

Oh, and did I mention I'm going to Germany next month for three weeks?

 

What's your connection with Germany? I am half-German; not sure if I've mentioned that to you. I hope you enjoy your trip!

[Colleen]

I'm with Wendy; you expressed this so well, Carol. Thanks for your post.

Sometimes I envy those people their sameness, their sharing, their sense of community.

 

I love the choices that I have had. I love having lots of options in life. I love the variety and diversity of modern life, especially in urban-ish California. But sometimes it just makes me so darn tired. To have to choose all the time. To have to question every little thing. To have so many many decisions to make, every day.

 

[Colleen]

In the mean time, embrace the B+. You'll do more, and better, and with less damage to your soul. Maybe pick one thing every day that you'll do an A+ job on. And let the rest settle for the B+.

 

Mmmm, lemme think...what can I do that'd earn an A+? (think, think, think) Cleaning the toilet! There ya go! I knew there was something. Okay, clean that toilet every day and do it WELL, and then the rest, well...I guess I'll accept the solid "C". Nothin' wrong with average, after all.;)

[Colleen]

Sometimes I feel like I am waiting in vain for my second wind. Is it some kind of 9 or 10 yr homeschool mom itch? Is it the vague realization that with high school pressing upon us' date=' we are now getting ready to play for keeps?[/quote']

 

"Playing for keeps" ~ yeah, that's it. Not just as far as school is concerned, but parenting in general. I hear ya. Thanks for your reply.

[Colleen]

I appreciate your reply, Scarlett.:)

[Colleen]

Thanks, lovemyboys, for posting.:)

[Colleen]

Ya know, what you said about our weaknesses being revealed when we have students in the upper levels rang true with me. This sounds totally pathetic, but one thing I'm realizing is that I'm just not as into self-education as I should be. I mean, I know what my interests are and I like to teach to that, but when things get hard ~ e.g. upper level science ~ I'm weary. And yes, I know I can outsource. That's my plan for my oldest's 9th grade year (next year).

 

Thanks for posting. I know you're busy. Keep on keeping on!

[Colleen]

Colleen, I can so sympathize. I feel like whenever I visit my inlaws I need a period of time to kind of decompress. I will never be the "ideal Indian wife", but it sure is hard to get beyond the feelings of inadequacy sometimes, even if there is no overt complaint from anyone, kwim? I bring a lot of it on myself. Like I said, it generally takes me a while to recover my balance.. don't know if it helps, but wanted you to know you are not alone on this particular front..

 

I appreciate your post, Kate; thank you.

[Colleen]

Thanks for your reply, Lisa. I noticed your oldest is in college now. Did you homeschool her all the way through?

[DB in NJ]

I, too, am in a funk right now. It started over the summer, and I thought the newness of the school year would help me to snap out of it. No such luck.

 

And now I wanna move to Switzerland. Sounds so lovely.....

 

:grouphug:

 

You have my sympathies and and my prayers. I honestly think not running has much to do with my own mindset, and it's probably effecting (affecting??? I can never get them straight) yours, too.

[amyable]

I can't put it as eloquently as these women, but if you subtract out the details of your post (farm, coming back from Switzerland, etc), I could have written the "emotion" of it, word for word, right down to having a handful of a 3yo (well, yours is 4 now :001_smile:). Although mine *wont* play by herself and spends our whole school time trying to interrupt me. "Mommy, Mommy, MOMMY! This is important! Ummmmm...look Curious George has a hat on!" :001_huh:

 

I don't have any answers --if I did I couldn't have written this post, LOL, 'cause I'd be fixing whatever was making me feel so funky about life all the time -- but I've got a ton of empathy for you. :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

Maybe it's just me, but I feel like once you hit 4+ kids, you just can't compare yourself to someone with less, because the dynamics of your life are just so dramatically different. With that comes the fact that you have less people to look to for guidance -- people who have BTDT and can give you advice (no offense, of course, for anyone here with fewer kids who is giving advice! It's all helpful, just some of it isn't as applicable).

 

I too often wonder why my life seems so hard, with my indoor plumbing and supermarkets and all ... but it does. Really, very hard.

 

Maybe you can give us all a cyberlecture on how the Swiss stay so organized and neat, and we can all give you major kudos and applause and rep points, and you'll feel a little better. ;) (OK, so maybe that's just MY dream, LOL...)

 

More :grouphug::grouphug:. I sincerely wish I had answers for your "non-questions". For all our sakes.

[Denisemomof4]

Colleen, stop your whining! I mean honestly! Homeschooling four children with a challenging 4 year old draining you, running a farm, taking care of the house, kids and hubby, and a challenging marriage? What's the problem?

 

KIDDING! But when you read that, were you saying, HUH?

 

I get it, I really do. I have four children. My youngest is adopted and a HUGE challenge. She drains me. I also have a farm. BUT, I only school my junior part time (he's dually enrolled) my younger son is in school full time, and I have the girls with me, one I school and the other I don't because I can't deal with the issues right now. It's been a VERY challenging season lately.

 

Anyway, you hit the nail on the head: THOSE WOMEN DON'T HOMESCHOOL. Homeschooling is BEYOND a full time job, isn't it? And you never leave your work! I remember schooling all day, cooking dinner and then cleaning all night and weekend, only to start again on Monday. It was EXHAUSTING! But what I had to learn to do was to get ALL the kids involved. I get help with all the animals, I have the dishwasher loaded and unloaded daily, I get help with cooking, I get help folding towels and sorting socks/underwear. So what I want to ask, is, do your kids help out? You really need to get them as involved as possible to help your workload as much as possible.

 

I HTH,

Denise

[newbie]

Colleen,

 

Maybe you are just detoxing, from a yucky trip. You are doing a great job, you have double my kids, and on top of that huge farm, I can barely take care of brush on four acres, let alone ever have animals.

 

It truly amazes me how all you moms do it with all you have on your plate. Kudos and bravo.Keep up the great work.

 

Reps to all, if I had any.

[Amy in Orlando]

So many thoughtful responses - I can't really add anything. I will say that I"m worn down and not nearly as enthusiastic this year. I'm counting my days until my oldest can dual-enroll at the local community college - math and science are the big ones.

 

As far as your little guy - I can say, my youngest was actually kind of burnt out by the time he was four/five. He'd been involved in one way or another with the older boys' schooling since he was born. Doing anything formally simply held no interest for him. It didn't really until this year (he's 3rd grade). If it helps, he has apsorbed a LOT. Often, I just have to clarify one point and he takes off with a subject. It is NOTHING like teaching his brothers. He's watched the dramas, the triumphs; he's seen the good days and the bad. For me it's very interesting to watch and experience.

 

I'm so sorry about your back. It's important to have an outlet like you do with running. Any chance you can substitute swimming (yes, that's kind of a Florida question to ask) until you heal? You can get a great work out with so much less stress on your body.

 

Hang in there, Colleen.

[Peela]

I don't know. I realize this is just life, but it's hard, ya know? I mean, life isn't hard in the sense that we have fresh running water and safe streets and so on. But our individual realities ~ in my case, feeling overwhelmed with five kids and a farm and chronic back pain and a challenging marriage ~ are still our realities.

 

Yep, I have to agree there. It just is hard at times, on the one hand, and on the other hand, so much to be grateful for.

Maybe we just need to have a good complain to our friends and then get on with it, and try to focus on the things we do have to be grateful for, more often than the difficulties. The particular difficulties will pass, but others will take their place.

[Debbie in IL]

Colleen, I'm coming in on this late, but I just wanted you to know that I'm right there with you. Kind of - no farm, and only 2 kids! But in terms of the overwhelmed / discouraged feelings. I think, for us (ending week 5 of school) the "honeymoon" phase of the new school year is over. We are all realizing that we're in this for the long haul, but the newness has worn off. This happens each year. I can relate to the stretched thin feeling, too. Too much to do, not enough time to do it. I will add you to my prayer list. :)

 

One of the things I appreciate most about your posts is your real-ness, your willingness to admit that life isn't perfect. That is refreshing. I have friends here with perfect-looking homes and perfect-looking lives, and as others have said, I realize that I'm seeing them from the viewpoint of a guest, not on a daily basis. Behind closed doors, I'm pretty certain that perfection, in many cases, goes by the wayside.

 

Also, I know how much exercising lifts my mood, so that when I can't because of time or injury I really, really miss it.

 

All this to say that I will pray that things start looking a bit brighter for you. Thank you for sharing your real-ness with us.

[Debbie in IL]

Sarah - just had to say thanks for this. I really, really needed to read this today!

[WTMindy]

:grouphug:

 

Sending a prayer your way, Colleen!!! It is good to have you back.

[laughing lioness]

To answer- we've always homeschooled. This is our 18th year. I used to joke that we were in a rut, but nobody laughed (guess they thought we were!:))!

High school with the oldest was hardest. We had 2 babies, moved twice, moved to an acerage, our income halved, we moved from SW to upper north midwest (huge climate as well as cultural change) and had an almost chatostrophic car accident (our oldest was driving, our second had a head injury, esposing her brain- she had a chunk of skull removed but is otherwise fine - i think we all had "near traumatic stress").

I was, to say the least, not on top of her schooling. We don't have outsourcing options, other than co-ops that I've led. And, honestly, there just weren't as many options curriculum wise (that I connected with). Anyway, my 2nd is a Sr. this year and my 3rd a fresh. and I finally feel like I'm on-top of the high school thing. It is a bit overwhelming. It seems that the pressure is greater, the time is shorter. Frankly, my oldest had tons of high school credits but it wasn't very academic, from my pov. However, she was admitted with honors to an awesome university and is now on a full ride, 4 yr. schoolarship at a school that is a perfect fit for her. God worked it all out, despite me :001_smile:. I am really enjoying high school now. Partly becasue I've found resources that I love. But, it is still a LOT of work. Specially with a little. My 5 yo is very social. It's hard to socialize with her and keep kid on task academically- the balance-argh. Still not there on that one most days, as evidenced by a recent post of mine.

And the kids are gone so fast. Really, really fast. I truly miss my oldest and my kids are truly a blast to be with. So I want to keep perspective that I am pouring into these dear hearts while they are here, becasue sooner than I know I'll have a clean house, and quiet and they will be off in the great world, living their own lives. Life is seasonal. This is a great season, but very FULL.

And chronic pain colors everything. I hope your back heals quickly!

[Danestress]

That Kai is four. Absolutely shocked. At first, I thought, "Poor Colleen. She's so overwhelmed she has forgotten how old her child is." It really does seem like a month ago that we were waiting for his arrival!

 

 

It takes very little to go from, "feeling good about this year" to "totally overwhelmed." Just the back pain alone can do that. I think pain can really destroy one's peace of mind. You have five children to school, a farm to help run, a house that isn't designed for easy living for a large family, pain, and just came back from Europe. It takes me a week to recover from a trip to the beach.

 

I don't have any great advice - I only homeschool 2 children and it's just an entirely different matter from five. But I do hope you will be easy on yourself. I wouldn't say that if I thought you were lazy or were always making excuses for why your children are behind. But based on your posting history, I think your kids are probably fine academically and are blessed with a really interesting, active life. So be kind to yourself. Stop comparing yourself to the super-orgainzed Swiss ideal. Stop thinking you aren't allowed to complain as long as you have running water:) Back pain stinks. When your back hurts, your whole world hurts.

[Guest janainaz]

I have never been over there before, but I have heard about their culture being MUCH different than crazy, busy America. This country is TRULY insane and I often wish I could just go somewhere else. I can fully understand how you could come back feeling that way, I would feel that way, too. I imagine it's getting a glimpse of people enjoying their life without all the chaos. My sister has been to Europe several times and has come back saying the exact same thing.

 

Wondering if anyone else feels this way..... In America there is a HUGE pressure to make sure your kids are educated - and educated WELL and go to college. But there are some days that I feel like there is more to life than all the knowlege, the constant filling of the brain and busyness. I'm not sure I want my sons to be raised to have some big job and big burdens to carry as a result. I want them to enjoy their lives and do what they love and have peace and joy. I want them to live better and beyond the american dream. The american dream is the pursuit of happiness and somehow no one ever finds it. It's a constant chasing after the wind. My husband works to support us, but he is not enjoying his job - he does it for us.

 

But at the end of the day, the pursuit of the american dream is not attractive to me at all. It's empty. :( I guess that is why, to some degree, if America had the rug ripped out from under it - it might actually be good. That is why, in my life, it feels freeing to go against the grain of society.

[Scarlett]

Wondering if anyone else feels this way..... In America there is a HUGE pressure to make sure your kids are educated - and educated WELL and go to college. But there are some days that I feel like there is more to life than all the knowledge, the constant filling of the brain and busyness. I'm not sure I want my sons to be raised to have some big job and big burdens to carry as a result. I want them to enjoy their lives and do what they love and have peace and joy.

 

I'm striving to raise my ds8 this way. It is difficult going against the grain, as you say. And it is difficult to find a balance. We have to work---we have to have some way to pay the electric bill and eat. And that is if you live so simply that you have your home paid for. I have a BIL who is 54 years old and has NOTHING. No wife, no child, no home, no decent job. NOTHING. Sure he can jump and run and do as he pleases...but do I want that extreme for my son? No. I want a balance for him. I want him to view his JOB as a job not as personal fulfillment. I can tell you that is not a popular approach. And at the same time I don't want him to get/keep a job he hates just because it pays well.

 

I quote the scripture 'our lives do not result from the things we possess' to him often. I want him to develope a good strong character of righteousness, and kindness and truthfulness and generosity along with a good work ethic. I think if he works toward those goals he will be happy.