SparklyUnicorn Posted December 27, 2015 Author Share Posted December 27, 2015 I was upset because my parents lied to me despite telling me how important it was not to lie. I got over it, but feeling like I'd been punk'd didn't feel like a minor LOL thing at the time. We never did Santa with our kids, and they get plenty of gifts. I can't even tell you how I felt because I don't even recall how I found out. I'm assuming it was not traumatic though. Even though my older kid knows, he totally plays along and gets into it. And really my parents lied to me about worse things. LOL 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 10 year old asked me if I believe there is a Santa. I said I believe in the magic of Santa. He said well he isn't sure and that he has a theory. I said oh what is your theory. He said he thinks it's that the Mom and Dad get up in the middle of the night and put the presents under the tree. I said oh well that's a very interesting theory. He said, but I'm not totally sure. I really don't have proof. So then he put out the cookies and milk and a note he wrote to Santa. He then asked if we could have a DNA test run after to see if it really is Santa. My older kid said, oh well that won't work because Santa doesn't have DNA. I'm just not ready to tell him!! :lol: I like the way this kid thinks. I would tell him though. But then, I never told my kids there was an actual santa who came and left presents (though some gifts have "from Santa" on them, but then we have gifts from all kinds of people/things). I got a gift from "Bill Gates" and "India" this year. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 (edited) I will always do stockings and presents, but I was upset when, though I'd figured it out, my mom refused to 'fess up. I wouldn't say I was traumatized but I felt betrayed at the timeS I think you should tell. This. I like the truth. But I still arrange presents and stockings after everyone goes to bed. It is fun for them, even though we never did the "Santa brings gifts" thing. Edited December 27, 2015 by TranquilMind 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted December 27, 2015 Author Share Posted December 27, 2015 I like the way this kid thinks. I would tell him though. But then, I never told my kids there was an actual santa who came and left presents (though some gifts have "from Santa" on them, but then we have gifts from all kinds of people/things). I got a gift from "Bill Gates" and "India" this year. ;) I never told them that either. Not quite sure how it started really. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 I never told them that either. Not quite sure how it started really. Yeah, we've kinda done Santa in that we would talk about him/he's in all the movies and books/we watch NORAD on Christmas Eve and track his progress, and yet we never actually left presents that were signed by him. We just left the Big Gift unwrapped by the stove and let him assume whatever he wanted. No trauma, no fuss. :) . At almost 13, he's had more fun with it this year than ever before. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted December 27, 2015 Share Posted December 27, 2015 LOL! My kids confronted me with that theory a couple years ago, based on the fact that Santa used the same wrapping paper that I had around the house. I said, "wow, you guys are so smart; now I don't have to pretend any more." They didn't like that answer. They said, "but maybe Santa brings all the gifts and you wrap them!" LOL. I was ready to be done with Santa, though. However, this year, with permission, I read my now 9yo daughter's diary, in which she says she still isn't sure about Santa - though she tells me all the time "I don't believe in him." :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Last year was our first year without Santa (DD was 12.) When she was very small, some older kids said Santa wasn't real, so she asked me whether Santa was real. I asked what she thought; she said she thought he was real. I told her that I agree, Santa is real. When she got to the stage of questioning mall Santas, we told her that they were Santa's helpers. When she asked about not seeing the real Santa, I asked her whether she thought air was real and if she thought love was real. We don't see those things, but they are real. When the day came when she asked if Santa was real, and I asked her what she thought and her answer was "no," I said that I disagree; Santa is very, very real. I explained that Santa is as real as love is real. Santa is a gift of magic and love for little children. Santa is not literal, but Santa is real. We had no trauma or sense of betrayal here. DD understood and happily preserves Santa for little kids. :001_smile: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicianmom Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I feel bad for this one kid I know who for at least the past 2 Christmases has been in real doubt about Santa's existence, but she keeps believing because in her words "I know my parents would never lie to me." Those parents have some fun times ahead of them, yikes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I feel bad for this one kid I know who for at least the past 2 Christmases has been in real doubt about Santa's existence, but she keeps believing because in her words "I know my parents would never lie to me." Those parents have some fun times ahead of them, yikes. I was that kid. My parents not only "did Santa," they went to extra effort to keep us believing and I really resented it big time when I learned the truth for real. I remember, in Kindergarten, Kevin Dawson was running around the room, telling all the kids, "there isn't really a Santa Claus; it's the parents." I emphatically disagreed with him because my parents had provided such extensive evidence and, as I said to him in disgust, "they would never LIE to me!" When I did learn the real truth years later, that memory was like a hot iron in my brain - how emphatically I defended my truthful parents, how greatly I trusted they would never do something so deceitful. I didn't tell my oldest the Santa story, but she adopted it from the culture. We had presents and we had stockings, but I never said, "these are from Santa, the jolly old elf who lives at the North Pole and flies all over the world on a sleigh drawn by reindeer." If my kids ever questioned anything, I was 100% truthful. I never did anything to incite belief. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I also felt betrayed by my parents when I found out that Santa wasn't real. It made me wonder what else my mother lied to me about. We have never done Santa with my kids. I had a bad experience finding out the truth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I feel bad for this one kid I know who for at least the past 2 Christmases has been in real doubt about Santa's existence, but she keeps believing because in her words "I know my parents would never lie to me." Those parents have some fun times ahead of them, yikes. Oh, dear. That's not gonna end well. I was that kid. My parents not only "did Santa," they went to extra effort to keep us believing and I really resented it big time when I learned the truth for real I've never understood the huge effort with, I don't know, flour footprints and careful letters written by a neighbor and Dad jingling frantically on the roof (or whatever your parents did) when exerted on behalf of kids who don't know. Seems to me it's more fun when the kids can say "How clever! It really was convincing this year!" like a stage play. If they really think there's a Santa, they can't appreciate all the work that went into the game. It's like LARPing with only half the players. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Although they often do. There are so many charities that collect gifts or money to give kids gifts. In other words the tradition is so important people are willing to help others pull it off when they can't. I'm sure some don't get anything still though. Twins received gifts from a charity because they are foster kids and the foster placement agency is the agency that hands out the gifts donated. Some of the gifts they received had been opened, used, parts lost, box taped up then given to the charity to give to foster kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Twins received gifts from a charity because they are foster kids and the foster placement agency is the agency that hands out the gifts donated. Some of the gifts they received had been opened, used, parts lost, box taped up then given to the charity to give to foster kids. How sad! Why does anyone think those things are okay to donate?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 How sad! Why does anyone think those things are okay to donate?!? Well, "beggars can't be choosers". (Gosh, I hate that expression and the whole mentality it engenders with some people, that poor folks should take your garbage and be grateful.) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 How sad! Why does anyone think those things are okay to donate?!? I'm not sure, but I guess it's the same unknown reason they donate old, ratty, stained clothes and coats with broken zippers or missing buttons to a winter coat drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I was that kid. My parents not only "did Santa," they went to extra effort to keep us believing and I really resented it big time when I learned the truth for real. I remember, in Kindergarten, Kevin Dawson was running around the room, telling all the kids, "there isn't really a Santa Claus; it's the parents." I emphatically disagreed with him because my parents had provided such extensive evidence and, as I said to him in disgust, "they would never LIE to me!" When I did learn the real truth years later, that memory was like a hot iron in my brain - how emphatically I defended my truthful parents, how greatly I trusted they would never do something so deceitful. I didn't tell my oldest the Santa story, but she adopted it from the culture. We had presents and we had stockings, but I never said, "these are from Santa, the jolly old elf who lives at the North Pole and flies all over the world on a sleigh drawn by reindeer." If my kids ever questioned anything, I was 100% truthful. I never did anything to incite belief. I was that kid too. My parents didn't emphatically defend this concept, but still they told me something that was not true and I took that betrayal of trust very, very seriously. I didn't react well. I still don't react well to lying no matter how "innocent". You can ALWAYS find something truthful to say about anything. They never lied to me again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Twins received gifts from a charity because they are foster kids and the foster placement agency is the agency that hands out the gifts donated. Some of the gifts they received had been opened, used, parts lost, box taped up then given to the charity to give to foster kids. That's awful. Don't people know better? I thought everyone knew to donate only new things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) I also felt betrayed by my parents when I found out that Santa wasn't real. It made me wonder what else my mother lied to me about. We have never done Santa with my kids. I had a bad experience finding out the truth. I am so glad I'm not the only one. My parents are long gone, but boy, did finding out they lied to me have an impact on me. Yes, my first thought was that I wondered what else they had lied about. Trust is so easily broken and so difficult to restore. I realize they did the best they could and what the culture expected, but it didn't work for me. Edited December 28, 2015 by TranquilMind 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 Last year was our first year without Santa (DD was 12.) When she was very small, some older kids said Santa wasn't real, so she asked me whether Santa was real. I asked what she thought; she said she thought he was real. I told her that I agree, Santa is real. When she got to the stage of questioning mall Santas, we told her that they were Santa's helpers. When she asked about not seeing the real Santa, I asked her whether she thought air was real and if she thought love was real. We don't see those things, but they are real. When the day came when she asked if Santa was real, and I asked her what she thought and her answer was "no," I said that I disagree; Santa is very, very real. I explained that Santa is as real as love is real. Santa is a gift of magic and love for little children. Santa is not literal, but Santa is real. We had no trauma or sense of betrayal here. DD understood and happily preserves Santa for little kids. :001_smile: I seriously doubt a child can distinguish between "not literal" but "real". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I was upset because my parents lied to me despite telling me how important it was not to lie. I got over it, but feeling like I'd been punk'd didn't feel like a minor LOL thing at the time. We never did Santa with our kids, and they get plenty of gifts. Ditto on both counts. It was definitely traumatic for me, the whole figuring it out thing. I felt like I had been lied to and humilated. Granted, I was an intense kid, but the Santa thing definitely did damage to my relationship with my parents. Consequently, I felt very strongly about not going down that path with my own kids. We told our kids the Santa stories, but purely as stories. We did our best to make Christmas magical (stockings, gifts appearing overnight, etc.), but it's always been a kind of cooperative game of let's pretend. Both have told us they appreciated the approach and intend to do the same thing with their own kids. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted December 28, 2015 Share Posted December 28, 2015 I seriously doubt a child can distinguish between "not literal" but "real". Umm, she was 12. Yeah, she could. But thanks for playing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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