goldberry Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 (edited) DD (about to be 17) finally wants to be on facebook. I H.A.T.E facebook. I have an account there for when I am forced to use it to look at other people's photos, etc. I have extremely minimal information on my own account, never post there or post pictures there. So, I don't really know or understand the settings, etc. DD set her page to private, but also understands the whole "nothing is private on the internet concept". What else do I need to recommend to her about settings, etc? She want to connect with a very specific group of friends that she knows fairly well. Edited December 2, 2015 by goldberry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I would really reinforce the idea that she shouldn't put anything on there she doesn't want the world to see, private or not. There's nothing to stop one of her friends from saving a picture she posts and reposting it publicly. Oh, and it's always good to double-check with friends irl before you accept their friend request on FB if you can. There have been cases of people stealing another person's pictures and info to make a fake account and impersonate them. It's rare, but something to be aware of. Other than that, as long as she has all her settings at the maximum privacy level, she should be good to go. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Make her aware to never post anything that would ever prevent her from getting a job. No party photos. Probably no swimsuit photos. Definitely no photos holding a drink or standing in front of a beer sign. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted December 3, 2015 Author Share Posted December 3, 2015 Other than that, as long as she has all her settings at the maximum privacy level, she should be good to go. If her page is "private" is that all she needs? Or are there other settings? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 I would encourage my kid to not use a real last name. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Preemptively block anyone that you could guess may be trouble. Old boyfriend, relative that will gushy-comment on every single post, that sort of thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kristie in Florida Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Future employers will search for her Facebook so it is extremely important that there isn't anything that could jeopardize a potential career. Her friends on FB could also tag her in their photos, and those would show up as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) I tell my kids NEVER put anything on Facebook that you would not want put on the screen in front of church or read aloud at school. Edited December 3, 2015 by Ottakee 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 If her page is "private" is that all she needs? Or are there other settings? If she clicks the lock icon next to the notifications icon, it'll let her go through a "privacy checkup" that lets her choose who can see what. And to be extra sure, you can unfriend her briefly and look at her profile to see what's visible to non-friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Every time they went through an "upgrade" for years my privacy settings would get changed. They've been a bit better about this in the last year, but don't trust privacy settings. Ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Just that every few months she should recheck the settings. FB is a bit notorious for resetting them when they roll in a change. So it's not like they're undoing your settings, it's like they add a new feature and automatically set your things for that to be public. Or they redo the organization of the settings so they're all different. I feel like something like that happens about once a year on FB. Messages is private like email, but just like email, can be forwarded, shared, etc. The privacy settings really do keep things semi-private. I think for casual stuff it's okay to rely on the assumption that the world isn't seeing it. But there's no guarantees. So she doesn't need to worry that, say, prospective colleges and employers will see if she has bad grammar or gripes about something silly or posts something mildly political - things you wouldn't do on display but really aren't the end of the world, you know? But throwing out there things that are more serious like drunk photos, as posted above, is a bit more serious. Think of it like your house. It's okay if your house is a little untidy and maybe needs to be dusted if unexpected company stops by. But if there's a really disgusting mess, that's another story. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Cover photos are automatically public. But when you change your cover photo, you can adjust settings on your former cover photo to Friends Only. Your profile picture can also be made Friends Only. Of course everyone can see it, but if they click on it, they just get the picture and not any other information, friends' comments, etc. Your Friends List can be set to private, so the public cannot see who your friends are. You can also change your settings to that your name does not show up on search engines. I'm going to repeat my suggestion for not using your real last name. Then NO ONE will be able to find you, unless they know who your friends are. I'm a pretty good FB stalker. When people lockdown their FBs as suggested above, it's much more difficult to find anything out about them. You can find out a lot about people by looking at their friends, OR by looking at who comments on even the most basic photos, even if the majority of photos are not publicly available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) My comments and concerns are different. I avoid over sharing I avoid drama I unfollow or unfriend people who post too much drama or share too much And I learned recently about a feature where if you make some an aquintance you don't see what they like or share....only what they directly post With these simple guidelines a 17 year old is capable of handling a FB Account. Edited to add....and unless she is in a witness protection program or has a crazy family member or stalker I don't know why it is so important to protect her identity on line. Edited December 3, 2015 by Scarlett Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 She should check the permissions on tagging friends. I think the default when you tag someone is that friends of friends can see it (and even comment), which could mean people your dd doesn't even know might see a photo she posted if she tagged friends in it. It's easy enough to change that to friends only - only your dd's friends would see it, not other people her friends know. Sometimes you have to check individual posts to make sure that setting is still there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Even if your settings are right, others may not have theirs as tight, and you can be seen. For example, I can see what my facebook friends have been "liking" and commenting on a rolling ticker to the side, and that ticker can back up in time for a LONG time (I have no idea how long). I'm not a very exciting poster, but if I click to "like" a snarky meme, every friend I have can see that I "liked" it by scrolling through my page. Anything I type on someone else's page can be seen by my friends AND theirs, and if their page is visible to "anyone", so is my comment. You can set it so you must review everything others want to post on your wall, and approve any photo in which you are tagged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 You do not have to accept all friend requests. You do not have to accept friend requests from older folks who are not your peers. You do not have to accept friend requests from adults that you don't like and or don't know well. You can block people if need be. Don't take FB too seriously. She might as well learn to use it while still at home. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Incognito Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 (edited) You can do a lot to block the information that is on your page for others to see, but even when you do when you "like" things or even visit stuff, people can know it. To give a totally hypothetical situation, say you know a pastor at your church, and they "like" a particular political party just before an election. That "like" is broadcast to all that pastor's FB friends, and since that pastor does not have their settings completely private, the liking of that political party is also either totally public, or at least open to all FB friends. So that pastor, while simultaneously attempting to not talk politically from the pulpit and moments later posting a group post to people in the church reminding them to vote (but being careful not to say parties), has just broadcast their political affiliations- hypothetically, of course. ;) I guess that is a long way of saying that nothing is private on FB. Not even a little "like" click. Edited December 3, 2015 by Incognito Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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