gingersmom Posted August 29, 2015 Share Posted August 29, 2015 My daughters college had a Facebook group for freshman and as move in day loomed large the discussion turned to partying and drinking. The first night there were 2 parties broken up and 21 kids issued warnings (now they have the pleasure of meeting with dean of residential life, revoking of privileges and other fun stuff) My daughter was surprised but not shocked. She's like the outsider giving the running commentary on their foolishness. 😋 Last night (night 2) she saw local police on campus. After going to school event with friends, she went back to friends room to discover the roommates were having a party (again with drinking). She has told everyone it is not her thing and headed back to her room. I'm so proud of her for standing strong in her beliefs. She is so focused on school and her future that she wants nothing to get in her way. She has made some similar minded friends and is sure when classes start on Monday she will meet more kids and everyone will settle down. I went to college and was very much involved in the madness. My daughter is 100% different (thankfully!) and I am being overly protective mother via long distance. Can't wait to see what day 3 brings! 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 My ds was sick and vomiting at 2 am Tues. His room mate wascasleep, but the guyscon the other side of the suite bath werevup playing video games. Ds hasn't gotten to know them yet. They heard the vomiting and assumed ds was drunk. They went and got a mop and bucket from the janitor closet and passed it into the bathroom. Then they realized ds was ill and not drunk. Ds did clean the bath. The suitemates wanted him to go to the health center. Anyway, ds was noting the first assumption was that he was drunk. Also his first weekend ds went to gaming club activities, but it appeared everyone else was getting drunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Fortunately none of my three have been interested in partying. It's probably inherited as I went to one and wondered what others saw in it. My two oldest had no difficulties finding like minded friends. There were plenty on their campuses (and also some who partied, of course). Youngest had more difficulty on his campus, but eventually found some. I'd have loved them all no matter which direction they had chosen, of course, but I'll admit to being pleased they don't see the appeal of it. We aren't teetotalers, but there's a big difference between social drinking and majoring in party IME. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 If I remember college correctly--those who run amok during the first weeks, before homework is seriously checked, before any quizzes or exams, etc. are often stopped short by the first exam looming or once they get those exam results back. Not that this transformation happens to all but that reality check is good for many of them. Learning how to manage that much freedom and free time is a skill to be learned and not always innate. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 My ds was sick and vomiting at 2 am Tues. I hope he's feeling better. (It's nice to know that his suitemates are aware and helpful.) Regards, Kareni 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 Talking with my girls last night, my freshman was saying how everyone is on this online thing and announces parties. The first 2 weekends the parties were broken up by police, I don't remember if it was campus or town police. So like Thursday someone went on this thing and suggested/told everyone not to go because... Well, he got blasted, lots of "Don't tell me how to live my life!" Guess what, the parties were broken up by police again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Little Women Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 My dd's honor's program did a special topic (attendance required) about the chemistry involved in making beer. They did make sure to point out that since all the students were freshmen, it was illegal to drink and they were not allowed to sample it, but the connotations were pretty clear--we know you are interested in this stuff and probably using it, so let's do a cool honors' activity about it. Dd was, thankfully, not impressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 My dd's honor's program did a special topic (attendance required) about the chemistry involved in making beer. They did make sure to point out that since all the students were freshmen, it was illegal to drink and they were not allowed to sample it, but the connotations were pretty clear--we know you are interested in this stuff and probably using it, so let's do a cool honors' activity about it. Dd was, thankfully, not impressed. All incoming freshman before stepping foot on campus had to view an online course on alcohol and then take a test. It took my daughter two tries to pass the test. I guess if you were a frequent drinker you might know some of the answers but she had to goggle to find out most of the answers. I realize schools are making an effort but this video/ test was a waste of time in my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 If I remember college correctly--those who run amok during the first weeks, before homework is seriously checked, before any quizzes or exams, etc. are often stopped short by the first exam looming or once they get those exam results back. Not that this transformation happens to all but that reality check is good for many of them. Learning how to manage that much freedom and free time is a skill to be learned and not always innate. My daughter knows a current sophomore at school who was shocked to discover after first semester freshman year he was on academic probation. Cutting classes and non-stop partying is not such a good idea! He apparently got the shock of his life, went to classes and cut back on his partying. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 All incoming freshman before stepping foot on campus had to view an online course on alcohol and then take a test. It took my daughter two tries to pass the test. I guess if you were a frequent drinker you might know some of the answers but she had to goggle to find out most of the answers. I realize schools are making an effort but this video/ test was a waste of time in my opinion. On the other hand, since she'll generally be the sober one, having the info may make it possible for her to help a friend or hallmate or classmate who is in trouble (immediate or longer-term) due to their alcohol use. She now knows more than she did before about a serious issue that may affect her peers and her community. This may serve her well on the person-to-person level, and possibly in a larger way if she takes on leadership roles on campus. That's a good thing, I think, and worth a few minutes of her time if you view it as preparing her to potentially be helpful to others. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom31257 Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 We don't drink at all. Dd is too much of a control-freak (of herself) to want to drink. She doesn't even want to ever have her wisdom teeth out because of videos she's seen online. She is attending a Christian college, and partying on campus and the party atmosphere had a lot to do with her not wanting to attend a secular university. She's a home body and wanted her dorm experience to be as pleasant as possible. She doesn't have a car, but her off-campus experiences have been going to Wal-Mart, shopping at a mall and visiting a friend's home about 40 minutes away, and eating out lunch after church following another friend's baptism. I'm glad she's trustworthy and has such a good, practical head on her shoulders! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I realize schools are making an effort but this video/ test was a waste of time in my opinion. I feel like the primary motivation by colleges in this area is to reduce their legal liability, not necessarily to reduce excessive drinking or the harm caused by it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I like Northern Michigan U's approach. The sheriff's department hosts an on campus "kegger" party the first week of school for new freshman, attendance required. It's a root beer and pop party. But, they present a LOT of information about drinking, knowing your boundaries, safety issues, legal issues of being underage, etc. and they talk about personal experiences, things they've witnessed as deputies, calls they've taken, drunk driving fatalities in the area. They emphasize safety, safety, safety, and the kids are given all of the emergency contact numbers and instructions on use. They also walk them around campus and show them the emergency call boxes that are stationed about every 50 feet or so all around the perimeters of the buildings and in every parking lot. They really befriend the kids, listen to them, encourage discussion, and are brutally honest about what they have witnessed. They also have a dance, good food, and fun give aways. Who knows if it makes a positive impact or not, but I give law enforcement and administration credit for trying. 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 I like Northern Michigan U's approach. The sheriff's department hosts an on campus "kegger" party the first week of school for new freshman, attendance required. It's a root beer and pop party. But, they present a LOT of information about drinking, knowing your boundaries, safety issues, legal issues of being underage, etc. and they talk about personal experiences, things they've witnessed as deputies, calls they've taken, drunk driving fatalities in the area. They emphasize safety, safety, safety, and the kids are given all of the emergency contact numbers and instructions on use. They also walk them around campus and show them the emergency call boxes that are stationed about every 50 feet or so all around the perimeters of the buildings and in every parking lot. They really befriend the kids, listen to them, encourage discussion, and are brutally honest about what they have witnessed. They also have a dance, good food, and fun give aways. Who knows if it makes a positive impact or not, but I give law enforcement and administration credit for trying. I was recently reminded of an incident from my Navy time, which I then told my kids about. I was the senior officer on duty one weekend, when a sailor was released from police custody and returned to the ship by the Navy security force. He had been arrested in the wee hours of the morning and has spend the remainder of the evening being processed. I was the one who had to tell him that his arrest wasn't only for drunk driving, but also for vehicular manslaughter when he hit and killed a pedestrian. He had no recollection of the accident and if the police had told him earlier, he was too drunk to have processed it. This was a nice, young kid, whom I remember as a pretty good sailor and a hard worker. He was about 20. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Only me Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 My dd is already fed up and discouraged. She transfered to this school after getting a 2 year degree so she is not new to college but new to living on campus. She has been there 3 nights and every night her roommate has gotten wasted. Saturday she was so bad that she could barely walk and was up sick all night in her room. Luckily they live in an on campus apartment so dd has her own room. Now everyone is treating dd bad because she doesn't want to party. Saturday night dd almost went with to the party to just hang out or possibly have one drink. She is glad she didn't since everyone was so wasted and she would have had to walk home alone in the dark. She has yet to meet anyone who doesn't party hard. It's really a shame since there is so much to do on campus. For instance they went to the football game Friday night but everyone left early ro go party. There are great places to go hiking and do other fun things but no one she has met wants to do anything but drink. I'm hoping she will meet more people like her after classes start tomorrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Wow, that is depressing. I recall certain cliques drinking when I was in college but most of us did not. We had RAs present on every floor. Most RAs were Christians though it was a state school. There were no fraternities or sororities. This was in the Northwest though. There are a lot of socially-minded schools where, although people drink, it's not a kegger culture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Midwestmomof3 sounds like she needs to get out of her dorm as much as possible. If there's substance free housing, maybe she could go there before her apartment people pre-game. Joining clubs, volunteering and working are other ways to meet people with interests besides drinking. If there's a Starbucks or other hang out, go there. If she's into cards she can go with a deck and see if she finds anyone else. Then they can go to the game together. Is there an outdoors or hiking club? Even at schools not known for partying, there's a good percentage of people who make that their focus especially on the weekends. Hopefully she'll soon find others who don't. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Have classes started? Hopefully once the routine sets in some people will get serious. Or it will be easier to find like-minded people with intramurals and clubs starting. Unfortunately for most of these kids the drinking did not begin in college but in high school. They just do not need to worry about their parents catching them now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in NY Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Is there something your daughter could do on Fri and Sat nights so she's not hanging around at those times? I suggested to my my dd (who so far feels the same as yours.....) that she might think about working at those times, or joining something like the EMS squad, which schedules many volunteers to work those hours. It's hard to just be hanging around, but if there's something you *must* be at, it takes some of the pressure off to join in. Best to you both. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 midwest mom of 3 your dd should be able to find like minded students. My ds just transferred to a university where the main entertainment is drinking. ds doesn't drink and is kind of quirky. ds starting checking out clubs as soon as he arrived. ds likes gaming both role playing a computer and found a gaming club. He's having fund with that and they just meet on weekends so it doesn't impeded studying (every person I knew who did d&d when I was in college ended up on academic probation). So, my ds has had some success so far. Have club meetings started? I would advise just looking up all the clubs and figuring out when they meet and start checking them all out. Even at my ds's small schools there's quite a few clubs of a variety of interest areas (outdoor activity, environmental, service clubs, religious groups). She should try a few out and I bet she will eventually find some like minded students to hang with when not in class. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted September 8, 2015 Share Posted September 8, 2015 Youngest son had this problem at his college to start with too. As others have suggested, we told him to start checking out some clubs aligning with anything he thought might interest him. He's now loving his sophomore year and has plenty of friends. His problem was sticking with those he lived with and expecting friends from that group. Once he got outside that group (even changed rooms second semester), there were others who were like minded - even at a school that tends to rank in the Top 10 on Princeton Review's Reefer Madness category! ETA - they are #3 this year... and #17 on Lots of Hard Liquor He likes that they are #16 on Tree Hugging... and are on the Green Colleges list. I like that they are on the Best Southeastern list and 380 Best overall. I'm not sure which number they are on either. The specific number is pretty meaningless anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 My dd is already fed up and discouraged. She transfered to this school after getting a 2 year degree so she is not new to college but new to living on campus. She has been there 3 nights and every night her roommate has gotten wasted. Saturday she was so bad that she could barely walk and was up sick all night in her room. Luckily they live in an on campus apartment so dd has her own room. Now everyone is treating dd bad because she doesn't want to party. Saturday night dd almost went with to the party to just hang out or possibly have one drink. She is glad she didn't since everyone was so wasted and she would have had to walk home alone in the dark. She has yet to meet anyone who doesn't party hard. It's really a shame since there is so much to do on campus. For instance they went to the football game Friday night but everyone left early ro go party. There are great places to go hiking and do other fun things but no one she has met wants to do anything but drink. I'm hoping she will meet more people like her after classes start tomorrow. This is really sad. What is wrong with people? I really don't remember it being that big a deal. Weekends, yeah. Never during the week. I'd be really annoyed if the roommate was rip-roaring drunk every night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 It's still early days. Lots of kids at this point are trying to explore the limits of their freedom. The first week or two is often the worst. And lots of kids take a bit of time before they really know their limits with drinking. Sometimes I think its actually a bit better for some kids if they do a little partying in high school. They don't need to go all out as soon as they are away from parental control. So - things may well calm down some as time goes by. (Also - they will start to run out of money.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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