Has anyone taken the no nonsense approach to potty training?

[lynn]

My theory is they go when they are ready but I do take a few days every couple of months when they turn 2 and do "lets go to the potty every hour" My dd will be 3 in October and really does not show interest in the potty. My mother "you all were trained by 2" (but really she was brining us to the potty on a regular basis) kind of chastised me yesterday with "you have an intelligent child, take away the diapers and stay home until she's trained" (oh did I mention I don't exactly have the Joan Cleaver as a mother...lol). This opened to a huge spill of 40 years of restrained feelings that led to the entire reason for my oldest sister having so many issues was that mother never put down the law on her (yes mother has many unresolved issues). Wow, this turned into a rant....sorry. Does the no nonsense potty training work or does it lead to a resentful child vs a child that just does it on their timing?

[beansprouts]

For my dd "no nonsense potty training" turned into a power struggle that ended only after I let her decide to train herself. She was 4 1/2, reading at a 2nd grade level and taking piano lessons before she gave up the diapers :lol:

 

My 25 month old was very interested in the potty and wanted to use it all the time until I started trying to train him. I hope I haven't blown it.

[enigma]

I can't tell you what's best for your particular child. But my daughter was terrified of the potty. Not just the big one, even the little one. She refused to use it. at. all. Until I took away her diapers and put panties on her. She was three. She flooded her panties, her legs, and the carpet, only once or twice, and pooped her panties once. Every incident broke out in hysterical screams. Then she decided the potty wasn't so scary after all. It sure beat facing the reality of bodily functions standing up. And that was it. She was potty trained. It just took her a while to get the hang of getting there in time. Two weeks, tops.

[Kidlit]

I'm not sure that I'm the best person to answer this since I have an almost-three year old whom I cannot remember to take to the potty regularly, but here's my two cents, FWIW:

 

I potty trained my eldest dd for an entire year, or at least that's what it seemed like. I finally reached the conclusion that she'd do it when she was ready, which was about three years old, for her.

 

My youngest dd actually used the potty (pooped almost all the time, even tinkled occasionally) before she was two, due, I'm sure, to older sister's influence. However, on the day that I babysat a friend's almost one-year-old, I watched my then two-and-a-half year old regress before my very eyes. Jealousy is a very powerful emotion! Now she uses the potty sometimes, mainly when we put her up there. I'm trying to be relaxed about it.

 

I guess you could say that I feel that the relaxed approach is the best, but I have a hard time restraining myself.;)

[ahousefullofjs]

The no-nonsense approach backfired on us. I used it with ds#3 when he was somewhere between 2 1/2 and 3, basically took away the diapers, put on big boy underpants and said "okay, that's it, time for you to use the potty". I also encouraged him every hour to try to go. He was VERY resistant and to this day will 'hold it' until he's blue in the face. He never has an accident but is still resistant to just go when he needs to. :glare: FWIW, he's also my most stubborn child.

The first 2 were easily trained at 2 1/2. (not with the no-nonsense approach) just by reminding them every hour and making it 'fun' by sitting with them while they waited for 'something to happen', singing songs, reading books, etc. and lots and lots of praise when they did it.

Just my experience. Hope it helps :)

[sassenach]

Does the no nonsense potty training work or does it lead to a resentful child vs a child that just does it on their timing?

 

My short answer- I think it only works if the child is ready. I don't know about it producing a resentful child (maybe if you are extremely/abusively no nonsense), but I think it could produce an exhausted mom. My grandmother always told me that if a mom claimed to have her kid potty trained super young, she considered the mom to be trained, not the kid. My kids have ranged from just turned 2 to almost 4. The almost 4 yo did take some effort to push him past his poop fear, but I don't think he was really ready before 3 1/2 anyways.

 

Follow your mommy instinct, forget about your mom. (((HUGS)))

[G5052]

My youngest is a happy-go-lucky, compliant kid, and the day came when we just plain had to do it. She was almost 3, and we were in the midst of the beginning of our ongoing medical crises with DH and had a break over Thanksgiving. I had found that getting someone to watch a diapered toddler is harder than getting someone to watch a potty-trained child even if they still need help.

 

So she went into undies with plastic pants over them, and she figured it out for herself in three days. Two months later we went to Florida for a month to care for my MIL during her last days, and I was so glad that we did it when we did because it was so much easier with a basically potty-trained child. We had done the same with my FIL when her brother was in diapers, and it was a lot more complicated.

[Marie in Oh]

She is the mom who told me at the last visit as I was hugely pregnant that her neighbors never knew she was even pregnant until she brought us home from the hosptial. :glare: She also said to me 2 days after giving birth that I still had a tummy. :glare: Just to give you a bit of insight about the type of person she is.

 

So, her story is, we were all trained by 16 months. "I just put you on the potty and you went." Yadda yadda yadda. Waiting til a child is 3 is just laziness. :glare: I finally said to my mother, "it sounds like you were trained not us."

 

Potty training isn't something that you should power struggle over. They will train. My #5 was 3 and 4 months. That was older than I wanted her to be, but when she did, there was very little drama. 3 months before when I tried she cried uncontrolably when I put her on the potty. I would relax and just offer her oppertunities to go. It will happen.

[Sarah CB]

My theory is they go when they are ready but I do take a few days every couple of months when they turn 2 and do "lets go to the potty every hour" My dd will be 3 in October and really does not show interest in the potty. My mother "you all were trained by 2" (but really she was brining us to the potty on a regular basis) kind of chastised me yesterday with "you have an intelligent child, take away the diapers and stay home until she's trained" (oh did I mention I don't exactly have the Joan Cleaver as a mother...lol). This opened to a huge spill of 40 years of restrained feelings that led to the entire reason for my oldest sister having so many issues was that mother never put down the law on her (yes mother has many unresolved issues). Wow, this turned into a rant....sorry. Does the no nonsense potty training work or does it lead to a resentful child vs a child that just does it on their timing?

 

 

All of my children were trained "early" and yes, it was a matter of "training". Dh trained our first. He rewarded very small steps (ie. sitting on the toilet briefly) and slowly worked up to having dd go on the potty. He took the entire weekend, read books and watched movies with her and gave her lots to drink. She was fully trained in one weekend just before she turned 2.

 

Second child was 21 months and a boy. I took his diapers off. He peed on the floor. He didn't like messes. I casually told him that pee actually goes in the toilet. It took him three days to figure out how to hold it until he got to the toilet. #2 took a little longer.

 

Third child was 27 months. He was a little more stubborn and less pliable (due to age, I think). I took off his bottoms, spent a week in the backyard and planted a potty next to me. I think it took me a week before I could go places with him without worrying.

 

Fourth child...I started training before he turned two. Day 2 I dislocated my knee while trying to get the kiddie pool out of the shed. There went training. I had him at the point where if I reminded him he would stay dry all day but we still had no progress with #2. Then we put our house up on the market - on went the pull-up. It didn't come off until we were moved and settled and dh asked, "haven't you been potty training him for nearly a year now?" Off went the pull-up and out came the kool-aid and the treats. No issues. This was harder the second time around because he somehow developed an aversion to sitting on the toilet so we had to get over that first.

 

Four kids, no nonsense, no issues. I think that if you remain calm and matter-of-fact, reward small steps and *above all* are consitent then you'll be fine.

 

Dh likes to tell the story about dd because she was in daycare at the time and her caregiver told us that she was NOWHERE NEAR ready to potty train. She showed no signs of readiness, would sit in a wet or poopy diaper without complaint and had no interest in the potty. And yet, dh trained her in a weekend and it was a positive experience for her. When he picked her up from daycare on Tuesday the caregiver said, "Oh, she must have been ready after all!" Yeah, right...or someone spent the weekend actually developing those "readiness" skills.

[Tarheel Heather]

My 3 yr old refuses to go. He was going last fall, then we moved. Hasn't gone since.

 

Informed yesterday that his butt was broken, yep, he sure did.

[Guest janainaz]

I have two boys, total polar opposites in personality. Both of mine were trained by around 3, by their own wills. I waited for cues that they were ready and never forced it. My second one got the potty seat out all on his own, I would walk by in the hall and see him on it and say, "oh, gee, wow, you're on the potty"!

 

So, I say give it a try every few months after they are 2. If they are resistant, give it more time. I was sad to be done with diapers. I must be weird.

[3lilreds in NC]

My grandmother told me she had my dad potty trained my the time he was 11 months old. My uncle was born around then, and she would not change two sets of diapers. She also told me that she would strap him onto his little potty, give him a book, and turn on the record player, leaving him there until he went. I'm not sure that approach would have worked with either of mine. Nor am I sure someone wouldn't call CPS on me... and I have never seen a potty with a strap! :lol:

 

With my oldest, we started when she was about 2.5 - I watched her get herself out of the tub to go poo on the potty. I tried pull-ups with her; she informed me that she peed in them like a diaper. So, we went to panties. She peed in them too, so she had to have a bare heiny for a few days. It didn't take very long. We had a couple of "power struggles," during which she would look right at me and pee on the floor, but that didn't last long.

 

With my younger girl, she showed NO signs of interest or readiness. When she turned 3, she was on break from preschool, and I told her she had to learn to use the potty. She did, but we had a TON of accidents. I call her my absent-minded professor. She gets so focused on what she's doing that she forgets sometimes until it's nearly too late. When she was 3, she was often too late, LOL! I was very grateful for my Little Green Clean Machine.

 

I don't know what we will do with Schmooey. I keep reading John Rosemond's articles and he thinks that it's ridiculous not to have a child trained by the time they are 18 months. Schmooey isn't walking yet and I refuse to start until then. Honestly, I'm not sure we will try it even then. I don't have a desire to be disciplined enough to remember to take him all the time. But, if it seems like he might be interested, we might give it a go.

 

So, I don't know what to tell you. I preferred to wait until my kids showed some kind of a clue. I might try earlier with my boy, but I haven't made up my mind.

[fshinkevich]

I suppose I fall into the no nonsense category.

 

I have 5 children, four of which were all potty trained by the age of two, and I plan to do the same with our youngest :)

 

About 1 year of age they got their own potty, I just set it up near their other toys and they could do whatever they wanted with it - play in it on it, whatever. I occasionally told them potty was for "pee" and "poo". If they happened to be naked and peeing I would calmly put them on the potty, not making a big deal out of it. When they went on it by themselves I heaped them with praise.

 

Once they were waking up with dry diapers consistently (different age for each child but all of them before 24 months) I took them shopping to pick out whatever panties they wanted and got all diapers out of the house.

 

Then I picked a week where I would not have to go anywhere and kept them naked all the time. I put them on the potty every few minutes, if they asked, or if they started to "go". Every success got a cool ink stamp somewhere on their body (they think its super silly :D) and lots of praise.

 

I never made a huge deal out of anything - just sort of this is what we do now. I never had a single instance of resistance, stress or tears, and with the exception of the occasional accident (really, not a lot) they were all trained by the end of the week.

[cathmom]

Sarah CB, is your husband for hire?????

[bumbledeb]

When each of my youngest 3 turned 3 (approximately) we threw a 'Pants Party'. They each knew about their party well in advance and the younger ones heard the tales of the previous glorious occasions when the older siblings had their parties.

 

The whole extended family came to each party, bearing gifts of underpants and even a pants-shaped cake. We had lots of yummy food, music, games, and other exciting events and at one point in the proceedings the child of honour would make a speech, "I'm not a baby anymore."

 

They each fondly remember their pants party and they were each out of nappies that day.

[Amy in NH]

Yes. I am a no-nonsense potty trainer.

 

Oldest ds was trained just after he turned 3, but that was because I wasn't sure how to go about potty training him. He had it down for a few weeks, no accidents, and then decided he didn't want to use the potty. That only lasted a couple of days, because he had all his accidents cleaned up with cold water (pull down shower handle).

 

DS #2 was potty trained at 2-1/2, DS #3 at 22 months, DD at 23 months. I took off their diapers and left them pants-less, unless we went out somewhere and then they'd wear cloth training pants. There was no struggle, no crying, no arguments. They were each potty trained within two weeks. We had only a couple of accidents after that. An accident is an accident, but willful messes get cleaned by cold water.

 

Check out Elimination Communication. Babies in other countries potty train at 8 weeks old. Mom has to be ready to potty baby, but baby lets you know when they have to go. I have to agree with the old folk that the idea that they'll train when they're ready is laziness (unless there are extenuating circumstances such as mental disability).

[Just a Jen in Mississippi]

I have four children, 3 girls and 1 boy. They were all potty trained around 21 months to about 25 months. I did the cold turkey thing (so to speak!). We took off the diapers (and NO pull ups unless needed at night) and went straight to underwear. I reminded them every few minutes with the relentless "Do you need to go pee-pee??" and took them often. Yes, they had some accidents but that was needed and expected. I'd say each of mine were fully trained in less than a week and by two weeks, they were telling me when they had to go. I've always thought the first 2 days doing it this way was hard, but then it's over. I think the problem comes in when they think they have a choice to continue using diapers or pull ups and mom and dad give in or up too easily.

[VaKim]

I guess it depends on how important it is to you. As far as I was concerned, there were much more important and better things I'd rather be doing with my children than running them to the potty every 15 minutes, fighting to get them to go, and cleaning up accidents. I waited until they were ready, 3 and 4 here, and then they went immediately into panties and had no accidents.

[VaKim]

I have to agree with the old folk that the idea that they'll train when they're ready is laziness (unless there are extenuating circumstances such as mental disability).

I think this comment was totally unnecessary. I could just as easily say that I think parents who don't homeschool their children (except for extenuating circumstances) are lazy, or those who don't read to their kids for hours a day are lazy, or those who don't teach their kids to read at 3 years old are lazy. Potty training is not an issue that is as important to everybody as it apparently is to you.

[Sarah CB]

Sarah CB, is your husband for hire?????

 

I wish! I also wish he would have taken over the training with the other kids, but he said he had done his duty and now it was my turn (3 times??).

[Amy in NH]

Whatever. This is a thread about potty training, with different points of view being presented about the topic. I happened to post mine, which is apparently different than yours and most of the previous posters. It also happens to be the POV of many, if not most, mothers from previous generations. That doesn't make my POV more or less valid than yours, and I think I am just as entitled to express it as you are.

[Rosy]

I guess it depends on how important it is to you. As far as I was concerned, there were much more important and better things I'd rather be doing with my children than running them to the potty every 15 minutes, fighting to get them to go, and cleaning up accidents. I waited until they were ready, 3 and 4 here, and then they went immediately into panties and had no accidents.

 

That's how I approached it too, sort of. My oldest was fully trained (day & night) by 28 mo., the rest were around 3 1/2. They're all <18 mo. apart and I just couldn't be consistent--especially when I was nursing at the same time. I would teach them how to use the potty, but as far as them actually taking responsibility for it, that was up to them. They all got to a point where they were ready, and it didn't have anything to do with me--I would ask them or remind them from time to time, and eventually they caught on.

 

Don't let your mom bully you. You know what works for you and your family. Potty training isn't a moral issue or a discipline issue. A good mom is a good mom, regardless of whether her kids train and 1 1/2 or 4 1/2.

[VaKim]

Whatever. This is a thread about potty training, with different points of view being presented about the topic. I happened to post mine, which is apparently different than yours and most of the previous posters. It also happens to be the POV of many, if not most, mothers from previous generations. That doesn't make my POV more or less valid than yours, and I think I am just as entitled to express it as you are.

 

It was only the statement about being lazy that I objected to. It is unnecessary and rude. It is possible to state your point of view without such remarks. But whatever. Rudeness seems to be the norm in this modern society.

[NancyNellen]

No nonsense here. The oldest four were trained by 2 1/2 with very little struggle. It definitely can be done, and done without resentful feelings :-)

[beansprouts]

Check out Elimination Communication. Babies in other countries potty train at 8 weeks old. Mom has to be ready to potty baby, but baby lets you know when they have to go. I have to agree with the old folk that the idea that they'll train when they're ready is laziness (unless there are extenuating circumstances such as mental disability).

 

I am familiar with EC, in fact I attended a support group meeting with other moms who had trained their babies this way. It is a neat idea, and definitely makes potty training a non-issue. However, the time involved just would not have fit in to our busy "on-the-go" lifestyle with two older siblings. You are right, I am lazy. I find it much simpler just to wait for the child to train himself, while I worry about more urgent matters.

 

politics, anyone?

 

:D

[Melanie]

We waited (and waited, and waited) for my oldest to be ready, and then I decided I was ready. He was toiled trained within two days. It was a rough two days, but he hasn't suffered for it. I don't think he has, anyway. :tongue_smilie: My daughter hated wearing diapers, so she was easier. In fact, I don't remember actually training her - I guess she just started using the toilet one day. I'll have to ask my husband. Maybe it was a terrible, horrible, traumatic experience and I've blocked it out! :lol:

[melhouse]

I can't tell you what's best for your particular child. But my daughter was terrified of the potty. Not just the big one, even the little one. She refused to use it. at. all. Until I took away her diapers and put panties on her. She was three. She flooded her panties, her legs, and the carpet, only once or twice, and pooped her panties once. Every incident broke out in hysterical screams. Then she decided the potty wasn't so scary after all. It sure beat facing the reality of bodily functions standing up. And that was it. She was potty trained. It just took her a while to get the hang of getting there in time. Two weeks, tops.

 

This is what worked for all four of mine (two boys, two girls). They were all fully 3 & 1/2 (much to my mother's chagrin). I waited until the weather was warm, too.

 

HTH,

Melissa

[FO4UR]

I had a rough time with my first. I tried the no nonsense approach and spent a whole weekend with a nekkie toddler, sitting next to him on his little potty....didn't work. He was 3.5yo when I took away ALL dipes and just made him clean up after himself. He was accident free within a week and I can't remember him ever having an accident since - the boy learned to hold his bladder:tongue_smilie:

 

 

I switched to CD's after ds was done with dipes, and dd trained seamlessly. When she was about 18mo, I kept her in coverless prefolds at home during the day and changed her the millisecond she peed. She grew to hate being wet and would hold and flood and scream about being wet. By 22mo or so, she was telling me 75% of the time before she peed (and went in the potty). By 25mo I switched her to underwonders b/c she kept her dipes dry all day consistantly. By 30mo or so, she was keeping her nighttime dipes cry consistantly so I stopped using dipes on her completely.

 

My current 2yo is in the stage of making it to the potty 75% of the time. He doesn't tell me when he needs to go though. I just take him when I notice it's been a while and he's still dry.

 

There are so many factors to consider with PLing. The important thing is getting the dc on the potty to just get used to it kwim. My biggest mistakes with my first were waiting to introduce him to the potty until he was two, and then expecting him to be potty-trained after sacrificing a whole weekend. That, and there is nothing like cotton on a toddler bottom to speed up the process.;)

[Kari C in SC]

For my dd "no nonsense potty training" turned into a power struggle that ended only after I let her decide to train herself. She was 4 1/2, reading at a 2nd grade level and taking piano lessons before she gave up the diapers :lol:

 

My 25 month old was very interested in the potty and wanted to use it all the time until I started trying to train him. I hope I haven't blown it.

 

Your oldest sounds like my youngest. He will be 4 at the end of this month. He WILL NOT poop in the potty no matter what I try. I have tried it all. I am ready to lose it. I really am afraid he will be 6 years old and in diapers at this point. I even think he will read over the next year like you mentioned. He is so tuned in to that stuff. AHHHH!!!!

[Kari C in SC]

My 3 yr old refuses to go. He was going last fall, then we moved. Hasn't gone since.

 

Informed yesterday that his butt was broken, yep, he sure did.

 

My almost 4 year old ds told me his "butt is retarded!" I about fell on the floor!