Question about kids sleeping arrangements

[momtolgd]

We are making an offer on a house tomorrow morning! :D

 

It has 3 bedrooms, so we have to figure out how to put the kids in their rooms. For the past few years, oldest ds and dd have shared a room, and the baby was in his own room when he was born. Now their ages are 8yob, almost 6yog, and 21 month old boy.

 

DH wants to keep the older two together for a year until the baby turns 3 and then put the two boys together. That way the baby will outgrow such a risk of choking on the older 2 kids' smaller toys before he is put in a room with one of them.

 

DH thinks it won't work so well having the 8yob and 2yob in the same room right now because of the age difference, and also said maybe to give the 8yo his own room for the year and put dd and the baby together.

 

What do you think? We have bunk beds for one room and a twin bed for the other. The baby no longer likes the crib and prefers the regular bed.

 

We just aren't sure which way to go on this one...

[beansprouts]

I think for now it would be fine for your two older children to sleep in the same room. They will probably want privacy for dressing, though. I would probably separate them and put the baby wherever he is most comfortable. It is nearly impossible to keep the big kids' toys away from him anyways (at least it is in my home...)

[Zelda]

I think any combo could work. I chose the first just because that is what we are doing (DD 8 w/DD 3 and DS 6 alone). I find my older child is more tolerant of the 3-year old than my 6-year old would be. More careful about toys, more able to help the 3-year old keep the room tidy. :001_smile:

[Chelle in MO]

I might not be much help since I disagree with your husband, but here goes...I'd put the 2 boys together now. I wouldn't want to change things around in a year. If you don't mind messing with stuff like that, it wouldn't bother you, though! My kids don't play in their rooms much, so the toy problem (small kids around small toys) would be all over the house anyway.

 

Ask your husband to not be mad at me!

 

Chelle

[Rosy]

I'd give the baby his own room. He's probably still taking naps, right? And he's playing with little kid toys, where the older ones are closer to the same level as far as interests and activities. Maybe you can put up some kind of divider if they would like privacy, but I wouldn't worry too much about it at that age--they can have the room to themselves while they're changing.

[H.S. Burrow]

What about making one room a "sleeping" room for all three kids and one room a play room?

 

If that won't work, then I would put the 2 oldest together and let the almost 2 yo have his own room for at least a year, then move the 2 boys in together.

[JFSinIL]

I'd put the boys together now - that way you can paint the rooms, etc. and not have to redo it in a year. They will end up sharing a room anyway.

[momtolgd]

On the privacy issue for changing, they are both in the habit of getting dressed alone in either the bathroom or the bedroom anyway. They have shared a room for about 4 years.

 

I can see good and bad things about all 3 possibilities, and just don't know which way to go!

[Mrs Mungo]

How long do you intend to keep these sleeping arrangements? Both of my daughter started going through the very beginnings of puberty and desiring more privacy at age 10. If you're going to keep the same house/arrangments for a while that might be something to keep in mind. eta: I'm not sure what age boys really start and I see your eldest is a boy but still... :)

[Aubrey]

What about making one room a "sleeping" room for all three kids and one room a play room?

:iagree:

[Saille]

I'm struggling with almost the same problem right now. Mine are 7, almost 5 and 2. My problem is that the two-year-old won't choke on the Legos, but he will smash lego constructions. Cue sad seven year old. We have slanted ceilings, which really makes it hard to install shelves out of harm's way, too.

 

If you have room to put the oldest two together, and you don't mind switching later, I'd go for it. At least that way no one can say, "You never had to share a room!"

[Amy in NH]

What about making one room a "sleeping" room for all three kids and one room a play room?

 

 

 

This is my choice as well.

[RoughCollie]

What about making one room a "sleeping" room for all three kids and one room a play room?

 

:iagree:

 

RC

[Sahamamama]

I think your husband's idea of putting the oldest two children in one room and the little guy in the other for a year is the best strategy for these reasons:

 

Your children will already be adjusting to a new house and neighborhood, so if you keep their sleeping arrangements as close as possible to what they're used to, this will be one less adjustment for all of you.

 

Your oldest children probably play with lots of "little toys" -- definitely a choking hazard for your toddler (we have 20 month old twins, so I am pretty paranoid about this with my 3.5 year old). Of course, you could make a set of rules about the toys and be vigilant, in order to protect your youngest child, but perhaps not having lots of Lego-type stuff in the toddler's bedroom would be easier for everyone and safer for him.

 

Your oldest children -- although 1 boy and 1 girl -- are certainly not an age at which they need to be sorted out by gender. IMO, the children's bedtimes/sleeping patterns are more of a determining factor. When does Little Man go to bed? When do Big Brother and Big Sister go to bed? How well do they sleep through the night? When do they wake up in the morning? Does Little Man take naps? Do you want the olders to have a daily Quiet Time on their beds with audiobooks? At this point, I think these factors are more important than Boy/Girl differentiations among siblings.

 

FWIW, my sister's children (13 yo boy, 11 yo boy, and 6.5 yo girl) are ALL in one room -- my sister hates this arrangement, but the kids don't seem to notice it and they basically get along all in one little room in a little 2-bedroom house. When they shower/get dressed, the boys just shut the door and tell Emily to "stay out," and she does the same with them! The boys are in bunk beds, while Emily is in her own twin bed. It's tight, but it's their home. Likewise, our three girls are all in one little room in a little 2-bedroom house (the "little" toys are at Grammy's house ;)). HTH.

[beansprouts]

I'm struggling with almost the same problem right now. Mine are 7, almost 5 and 2. My problem is that the two-year-old won't choke on the Legos, but he will smash lego constructions. Cue sad seven year old. We have slanted ceilings, which really makes it hard to install shelves out of harm's way, too.

 

If you have room to put the oldest two together, and you don't mind switching later, I'd go for it. At least that way no one can say, "You never had to share a room!"

 

This is a very good point. :iagree:

[momtolgd]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. We have a month or so to consider all the options.

 

I never even thought about putting them all in the larger room and making the other room a playroom. Not sure I want to add another option to the list though! :001_huh: But it may be worth considering as well.

[abbeyej]

I think your husband's plan makes a lot of sense. Move the two boys in together in another year or two, when the baby can be trusted better around "big kid" toys. Your older ones are already used to sharing a room, and they're young enough that another year or two sharing a room will work just fine.

[5wolfcubs]

Hi Michelle! :seeya:

I voted for boys together, girl in her own room. But my idea would be to have dd's room be the one where the little stuff/big kid play happens. The boys' room will be for little ds's naps & toys. As everyone grows, their interests/toys will grow with them.

 

Hope all goes well with the house!

[cathmom]

If your 2 yo naps (and for your sake I hope he does!), I would put him by himself until he stops napping because otherwise your older dc will not be able to go into their room while he is napping.

[In The Great White North]

We moved when my youngest was 2 and took that opportunity to move the girls (2 and 5) together and separate out the boy (7), The fact that we were moving anyway and they were getting a new room made it more exciting.

 

The older two were in school then and dd(2) ended up napping in the car on the way home from school not in her bed.

[Susan in TX]

What about making one room a "sleeping" room for all three kids and one room a play room?

 

If that won't work, then I would put the 2 oldest together and let the almost 2 yo have his own room for at least a year, then move the 2 boys in together.

 

:iagree:

 

Susan in TX

[bettyandbob]

I'd put the older ones together for no more than 2 years. Besides toy and choking issues, their bedtimes will be closer. I think by the age of 10 boy-girl rooms need to be separated. But while your little one is little this will be a lot easier.

[PariSarah]

. . . your concerns, or the issues that others are raising:

 

1) They have separate bedtimes, which is good. If they went to bed at the same time, they'd keep each other up. 1yo is fast asleep by the time 10yo sneaks in to go to bed.

 

2) All non-baby-safe toys are in that bedroom, in closets. That means the older can play quietly with them in his room, while Captain Destructo is playing with the baby-safe toys in the living room. Better than the reverse. He just has to be good about putting them away, away, away (not thrown on top of his dresser) when he's done.

 

3) 10yo is a heavy sleeper. He wasn't bothered by the baby's midnight wakings. If your little still wakes up occasionally, I'd pick the heavier sleeper to share his room.

[Melissa in FL]

When we moved into this house I tried to get my girls to share a room. One was 5, the other almost 2. It was a disaster! Not only did I have the stress of moving to a new home, but the stress of my girls not being ready to share a room. I ended up moving my older dd into my son's room (he was 9) after struggling to get the girls to have a full nights sleep in the same room. They shared a room for about a year, then I tried to have the girls share again. It was another disaster. My youngest would get out of bed and wake her sister up all night long. That first year and a half my middle child tried sleeping with her sister, slept in her brothers room, and often ended up on our floor! She really felt like she had no place for her in our house. Luckily, we were able to rearrange things so they now each have their own room.

 

I would have the two oldest sleep in the same room till you are all settled. It sounds like that is what they are used to now, and they will have an easier time adjusting to a new home if you keep it that way for now.

HTH

Melissa

[StaceyinLA]

I just wouldn't want to do all that changing around later. A year just won't make that much difference. It's easy to have small toys situated where the little one doesn't have access to them. And I would think it'd be a pain to have all of the boy and girl toys in a room with your ds and dd. It just seems like it would be nice for dd to have a girl space...

[mom31257]

I chose the 6 yo and 2 yo to be together and the 8 by himself. The reason I did is this...if you stay in the house even a few years, your dd is going to end up in a room by herself because of being a girl. Why not wait and do that when she's say 8 or 9. If you have the 8 yo by himself now, then he's had a chance for a room by himself for a while also. It may be hard for him to go back in with someone, but I think it's the more fair thing, and you know how kids like fairness!

 

You know their personalities the best though. It just seemed to me that the 8 year old would never have any time with a room to himself the other ways.

[swellmomma]

In my 3 bdrm house, I have both boys officially in a room together, though really both usually climb in my bed at some point in the night. DD1 currently has her own room. DD2 cosleeps with me. I tend to keep my babies in my room until age 3 then combine with same gender. So DD2 will share with DD1 in a couple years when she hits 3. I do to avoid the issues of beds, at 3 I buy bunkbeds, also to avoid issues with nightwaking, nighttime potty training etc. Plus then they are old enough to stay out of big siblings stuff.

 

In your situation I would put the older 2 together and the little one on his own until he is 3+ and then put the boys together.