Ignore this thread!

[Slache]

One thing I've told my husband is that having people in my home is stressful. If someone is here for my birthday then my birthday is no longer for me, it's something I have to do.

My in laws want to come for Thanksgiving this year. This means I have to put on a show, be strict with boundaries, put more work forth and sacrifice my family Thanksgiving. But I don't care about Thanksgiving, I care about Christmas. At Christmas we will take a few days off, have tamales, relax, open presents, go on a hike and watch a movie. I will love it and I'm not giving that up.

So, mother's day, Christmas, mine. No visitors. A week during the summer, Thanksgiving, their birthdays, whatever they want.

And if they lived by us Sunday to Thursday would be mine. Go away. I have to regulate my home and I can't do that with you here, and you smell, so go.

[KrissiK]

Bedroom and bathroom are cleaned and vacuumed. all children have been fed lunch.now, to take my garbage bag to other parts of the house and clean up. Housework has just gotten away from me this week. I think it really has more to do with lack of motivation than  Lack of time.

[Slache]

Ok. One more.

Just a little warning regarding vacations. We have never been able to plan a vacation in which they did not absolutely demand to be there. We are not allowed to have our own time. When I say info diet I absolutely mean everything about a vacation. If my husband takes time off to be home they buy tickets with no insurance so we are guilted into letting them come for nine days. NINE DAYS! Swear word. When we were going to stop by Disney on the way to Texas she found out two days prior and did absolutely everything in her power to be there but we planned it for Monday through Wednesday ON PURPOSE and she had no time off. She offered to refund us all of our expenses so we wouldn't go without her and then she would pay for a different trip so she could come. Nope. We planned a weekend in New Orleans this spring (cancelled because plague) and it was a whole thing.

So right now we're planning a more extensive New Orleans/Florida thang, date undetermined, and we're not ever going to tell her. We're just going to post it on Facebook and it'll be too late.

You might not have that drama, but if you do not telling anyone anything ever is a Godsend.

[Slache]

You're not mean. 

If y'all go to the same church you could maybe work out a thing where you go, drop the fam off at their house and mom goes home to do mom things. This could be a big weekly grandkid fill without you and fill a lot of needs.

[Critterfixer]

Hello. It's a Saturday, and I've already been asked what the plans for the rest of the day entail and what's for dinner. I may or may not have pointed people in the direction leading out of my room where I'm sprawled on the bed writing and told them to consult the refrigerator for their dietary needs. 

 

[Slache]

Yes to all of that!

[Slache]

I think if I had been capable of setting healthy boundaries when I got married I would have a much better relationship with my in laws. I often hear that from other people, or that they are so glad they laid the boundaries out early. And Spuds, 10 years from now, you're going to be one or the other. Choose wisely. And remember, your children are learning from you. Bookie slapped me in the face with that one time. It still hurts. I will do everything in my power to make sure my kids do not have these problems.

[Slache]

My MIL is one of the kindest people you've ever met. She would do anything for anybody. She's thoughtful and generous and funny and I've learned a lot of really great things from her, including some totally awesome grandma and MIL moves. But that doesn't negate my need to be separate from her, and that's what's not respected. Saying "my in laws are really great" does not mean "my in laws should be in my house all the time."

Edited July 25, 2020 by Slache

[Another Lynn]

3 minutes ago, mms said:

So DS7 just came to me and told me he “accidentally” swallowed a penny. How do you accidentally swallow something that big at seven years old? 😡

 

He liked having it in his mouth, and then......   OOPS!?  Yikes!  What do you do now?

[Slache]

Just now, ThatBookwormMom said:

I'm sorry I slapped you.

No, it was good. I've put a lot of emphasis on learning to stand up for myself and communication with my husband and stuff. Good stuff.

[ikslo]

8 minutes ago, mms said:

So DS7 just came to me and told me he “accidentally” swallowed a penny. How do you accidentally swallow something that big at seven years old? 😡

 

Ummm, DS is 13.  Ask me how many times I tell him to “take that out of your mouth, please”.  All the time. Like, every day he is chewing on or mouthing something he shouldn’t.

[Slache]

1 minute ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I obviously missed it on this thread, but I will say I learned most of what I know as an adult about boundaries here on the Hive and one of my super good friends who has an insane family. Before that and before I read Boundaries and changed the way I framed things I was in a constant state of reaction-ism (is that a word), where everything hinged on the boundary crossers and I spent so much time in a tizzy and thinking of what I should've/could've said. The learning to shut up, and control info, and make dh step up where he needed to and make myself stand up and enforce where I needed to was life-changing. It was super uncomfortable for a while, but it was better than what the therapist I went to see about it told me- she pretty much was "cut everyone out," but that's not really a solution. It's just running (in my circumstances, obviously abuse or something would be different.) I think we are all happier now. 

Yes, totally. One of my lightbulb moments was when someone told me that I obviously like drama because I'm always in it, even if it's not mine. I realized that I am and need to learn not to be. Info diet has been immensely helpful for that.

[Susan in TN]

2 hours ago, Slache said:

I think if I had been capable of setting healthy boundaries when I got married I would have a much better relationship with my in laws. I often hear that from other people, or that they are so glad they laid the boundaries out early. And Spuds, 10 years from now, you're going to be one or the other. Choose wisely. And remember, your children are learning from you. Bookie slapped me in the face with that one time. It still hurts. I will do everything in my power to make sure my kids do not have these problems.

MIL had a Reputation with her DILs, so before we even were married, dh told her sternly that if she every said anything to upset me, she would never see us (or her future grandchildren) ever again. She believed him and has always tiptoed around me, believing that I am an incredibly over-sensitive princess.  Ha! It worked, for the most part.  Also helps that we live across the country and FIL won't fly in an airplane.

[Susan in TN]

1 hour ago, mms said:

Yeah, I think that was it!

@Æthelthryth the Texan I do hope that it passes, because I really do not want to have to take him to the hospital. Thankfully, even if he does have problems we have a really good DPC practice that is staffed by docs that moonlight at the ER. I’m fairly certain they will save us an unnecessary hospital trip if he needs medical attention.

I have a vague recollection of my old pediatrician saying that the esophagus is the most narrow part, so if it got through there, it should be able to pass all the way through.

[KrissiK]

Went to the Afsa for grocery pickup up. That went rather smoothly.

Oh, and my mom gave me this huge box of nectarines and I made nectarine salsa. It is to die for. I didn’t know salsa could be that good.

[KrissiK]

I had to share a picture....

[Susan in TN]

13 minutes ago, KrissiK said:

Went to the Afsa for grocery pickup up. That went rather smoothly.

Oh, and my mom gave me this huge box of nectarines and I made nectarine salsa. It is to die for. I didn’t know salsa could be that good.

RECIPE!  Must Have Recipe!  It looks so fabulous!

[Slache]

28 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

MIL had a Reputation with her DILs, so before we even were married, dh told her sternly that if she every said anything to upset me, she would never see us (or her future grandchildren) ever again. She believed him and has always tiptoed around me, believing that I am an incredibly over-sensitive princess.  Ha! It worked, for the most part.  Also helps that we live across the country and FIL won't fly in an airplane.

I knew that 3/5 of her children had secretly moved out and she didn't know where they lived but I was young and stupid and believed everything she said. I quickly learned why they moved out secretly and we did the same. SIL did too.

[KrissiK]

7 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

RECIPE!  Must Have Recipe!  It looks so fabulous!

3 nectarines diced, 1/4 onion diced, handful of cilantro -chopped, 1/4 jalapeño diced, several sprinkles of vinegar, salt & pepper & garlic powder to taste.

[Another Lynn]

Coffee's ready!  

[Susan in TN]

Good morning!

Dd21 got home from her night shift just as breakfast was getting on the table.  I told everyone they could sleep in today (except for dh and ds25 who are at services this morning) but since I was up early and hungry, we had breakfast at normal time.  Puppy slept/was quiet in his crate all night - I woke a bit before 6 and then he gave a little yip to let me know he was awake.  He is finally worn out and ready for a good nap.  Me too!  😁

EdPo!  Avert yer Eyeballs!
I ordered a bunch of books on abebooks last night - there are 3 or 4 books that multiple kids will be reading at the same time, so I got a cheap extra copy of some since the library won't let me check out more than one of the same title.  I decided that we will do poetry for our story time "Extra" - last year it was patriotic/folk songs/ukulele sing-along.  Story-time starts with the "Extra", then the read-aloud, then Writing & Rhetoric.  I think we may go through the poetry book The Roar on the Other Side.  Have to go find it and see if it can be worked into our setting.  I need to buy more printer paper!

As you were!   
   
Coffee!

[Junie]

Good Morning!

Happy Sunday!

I woke up early with a headache.  The headache is mostly gone.

Also, because my internet wasn't working I actually got a lot of reading done. :)  Also, I looked up some Scriptures that were read last week during Spanish church that I didn't fully grasp, because *not fluent*.

[Junie]

1 hour ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

Good morning! It is Sloth Day around here.

Do any of you practice keeping a Sabbath? If yes, how does that look for your family?

I try to do as little work as possible on Sunday.  (Of course, that's kind of the rest of the week, too.) 😉

I do not watch or read anything on Sunday that is not specifically Christian.  So I will read the Bible or a devotional book rather than a novel.  Also, I try to stay off of youtube.  If we watch a movie, it would be a representation of a Bible story, such as the productions done by Sight and Sound (which we have on dvd.)

[KrissiK]

Good Morning!!!!!

COFFEE!!!!!~D

Sunday!!!!

Church!!!⛪️

Hot!!!🔥🔥🔥☀️☀️☀️🔥🔥🔥☀️☀️☀️😩😩😩

Regarding Keeping the Sabbath.... we go to church. We don’t do any work per se, but that’s about it.

[KrissiK]

3 minutes ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

This sounds so lovely. 🥰 We have no close family, but I love the idea of this.

Focus on family seems like a lovely Sabbath tradition.

Do you have a particular reason for your personal limits to media on Sabbath (specific Scripture or teaching), or are you following a personal conviction? I love finding out why people make the decisions they make. (And, of course, ignore me if you don't want to answer that. ❤)

See, that's (one of) the hard things. We don't go to church. We had started to before we were expecting Cheeto, and continued through most of my pregnancy, bit we were never really connected and after Cheeto's birth we just...stopped. Then there was the shut down, and even homechurching has stopped being our habit. Which leaves me floundering a bit about how to keep Sabbath now.

That is tough. I would say, start simple. Perhaps, have a family breakfast together and do a nice devotional and listen to a worship song. Keith and Kristen Getty have wonderful contemporary hymns you can listen to on line. And then, as you start to enjoy that, you can make additions.

[Another Lynn]

30 minutes ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

This sounds so lovely. 🥰 We have no close family, but I love the idea of this.

Focus on family seems like a lovely Sabbath tradition.

Do you have a particular reason for your personal limits to media on Sabbath (specific Scripture or teaching), or are you following a personal conviction? I love finding out why people make the decisions they make. (And, of course, ignore me if you don't want to answer that. ❤)

See, that's (one of) the hard things. We don't go to church. We had started to before we were expecting Cheeto, and continued through most of my pregnancy, bit we were never really connected and after Cheeto's birth we just...stopped. Then there was the shut down, and even homechurching has stopped being our habit. Which leaves me floundering a bit about how to keep Sabbath now.

Maybe find a livestream Church service to watch/participate in at home.  Doing it live will give you accountability and help you feel part of corporate worship even if you don't have connections to that specific church body.  And it might help prepare your kids for going back when you're ready to visit churches again.  Just a thought - feel free to disregard if it doesn't seem helpful to your situation.  

[Susan in TN]

I NEED the Cranky Pantz!  Dragon scale with Pocket Coffee and Chocolates Dispensers!  Who had them last?  I think it was Critter.  Or they might be stuffed in the corner of my pantry.

I was trying to get ready for the livestream service and used the very last of my printer paper to print out bulletins, but couldn't get the livestream to come up on the PC, because old, and got it on the ipad but the sound was so low we could barely hear it.  So I got out the iPad speaker which was completely dead and needed to be charged and finally found the charger and an extension cord, but it wouldn't work even plugged in so in the most holy and church-like manner griped "Oh just forget it!" and sent everyone away.

Bookie, do not use this as an example of how to spend the Sabbath! 😁

Edited July 26, 2020 by Susan in TN

[Another Lynn]

5 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

I NEED the Cranky Pantz!  Dragon scale with Pocket Coffee and Chocolates Dispensers!  Who had them last?  I think it was Critter.  Or they might be stuffed in the corner of my pantry.

I was trying to get ready for the livestream service and used the very last of my printer paper to print out bulletins, but couldn't get the livestream to come up on the PC, because old, and got it on the ipad but the sound was so low we could barely hear it.  So I got out the iPad speaker which was completely dead and needed to be charged and finally found the charger and an extension cord, but it wouldn't work even plugged in so in the most holy and church-like manner griped "Oh just forget it!" and sent everyone away.

Bookie, do not use this as an example of how to spend the Sabbath! 😁

Thank you for this!  It reminds me of a conversation I had lately with CM folks about the importance of the "feast" but all I could think of was how many times I served up an angry "feast" because of the chaos of so many dang subjects, lol.  #CMlovehate  #CMfail

[Junie]

44 minutes ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

Do you have a particular reason for your personal limits to media on Sabbath (specific Scripture or teaching), or are you following a personal conviction? I love finding out why people make the decisions they make. (And, of course, ignore me if you don't want to answer that. ❤)

 

It's just my own personal conviction.  I feel like it helps me to focus more on Christ and His work in my life.  I guess it's just a tiny, tiny sacrifice that I can make in my week to help me remember the sacrifice that He made for me.

I do encourage my children to also limit their reading on Sunday.  They read a lot, so it also helps them to read Christian materials that they might otherwise not make time for.  They have devotionals, Christian biographies, Christian fiction.  Some of my kids prefer non-fiction, so I tend to steer them toward science -- the world that God created.

[KrissiK]

2 hours ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

We like Alistair Begg's preaching, and he offers a livestream from his church in Ohio. We did that for awhile. I think my problem is I keep waiting for Dave to take the lead and make it happen, but that's not how Dave is wired. He'll show up and participate, but he won't organize it and make sure everyone's ready.

Then again, he also won't say anything if I fail to do it myself...again...lol.

That is the way it is here, too. So, I just do it.

[KrissiK]

2 hours ago, Another Lynn said:

Thank you for this!  It reminds me of a conversation I had lately with CM folks about the importance of the "feast" but all I could think of was how many times I served up an angry "feast" because of the chaos of so many dang subjects, lol.  #CMlovehate  #CMfail

True dat.

[Susan in TN]

In the year 3969 I will be 2000 years old.

[Slache]

Susan was born in 1969.

[Another Lynn]

Susan is older than I am.  😜    (by one year.)

[Slache]

Lynn was born in 1970.

[Critterfixer]

4 hours ago, Susan in TN said:

I NEED the Cranky Pantz!  Dragon scale with Pocket Coffee and Chocolates Dispensers!  Who had them last?  I think it was Critter.  Or they might be stuffed in the corner of my pantry.

I was trying to get ready for the livestream service and used the very last of my printer paper to print out bulletins, but couldn't get the livestream to come up on the PC, because old, and got it on the ipad but the sound was so low we could barely hear it.  So I got out the iPad speaker which was completely dead and needed to be charged and finally found the charger and an extension cord, but it wouldn't work even plugged in so in the most holy and church-like manner griped "Oh just forget it!" and sent everyone away.

Bookie, do not use this as an example of how to spend the Sabbath! 😁

It was me.

<Sends Cranky Pantz to Susan>

[Wheres Toto]

31 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

In the year 3969 I will be 2000 years old.

Me too.    And in that same theme, the song "In the Year 2525" was the number one song when I was born.

[Critterfixer]

1 hour ago, Æthelthryth the Texan said:

I need to figure out how to ship this rain to Critter. We keep getting these bands that roll through. It feels like Satan's armpit out there, and the sun's not even out. Blech. 

I should be folding laundry and I don't wanna. 🥺

Can you keep it until Tuesday? I totally want it Tuesday. Satan's armpit and all.

[Wheres Toto]

I've been working on putting things back away in my house today.  There's still a lot more to bring back from the storage unit and science center but I want to do it nice and slowly so things get put away and not piled up.   Dh is replacing baseboards and some molding that has been missing for years.  And he fixed my dryer.  We think. 

[Critterfixer]

I'm just revising today, catching up laundry, and thinking about fall, hot chocolate, spice tea, and sitting out on the porch watching a cool rain falling. Which won't happen for a long time, but it's soothing my soul, so that's how I'm spending my Sunday.

 

ETA: It's a Lazy Sunday Booyah!

Edited July 26, 2020 by Critterfixer

[Wheres Toto]

I think once the house is back in order, I'm going to try and do 1 hour of housework, 1 hour of science center work, and 1 hour of class/school planning or paperwork each day.  That way not too overwhelming, built in breaks between activities, but things should get done.  My current method (do things as I think of them/notice them) isn't working so well.   

[Susan in TN]

13 minutes ago, Where's Toto? said:

I think once the house is back in order, I'm going to try and do 1 hour of housework, 1 hour of science center work, and 1 hour of class/school planning or paperwork each day.  That way not too overwhelming, built in breaks between activities, but things should get done.  My current method (do things as I think of them/notice them) isn't working so well.   

I am currently using the FlyByTheSeatOfMyPants method and it is not going well, either.  

[KrissiK]

54 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

In the year 3969 I will be 2000 years old.

I will be 2001 years old.

[KrissiK]

19 minutes ago, Critterfixer said:

I'm just revising today, catching up laundry, and thinking about fall, hot chocolate, spice tea, and sitting out on the porch watching a cool rain falling. Which won't happen for a long time, but it's soothing my soul, so that's how I'm spending my Sunday.

 

ETA: It's a Lazy Sunday Booyah!

Mmmmmmmm, I love fall!!! I love the way the sun is warm, but not as intense. And the nights are cool.

[Another Lynn]

27 minutes ago, Critterfixer said:

I'm just revising today, catching up laundry, and thinking about fall, hot chocolate, spice tea, and sitting out on the porch watching a cool rain falling. Which won't happen for a long time, but it's soothing my soul, so that's how I'm spending my Sunday.

 

ETA: It's a Lazy Sunday Booyah!

❤️

6 minutes ago, KrissiK said:

Mmmmmmmm, I love fall!!! I love the way the sun is warm, but not as intense. And the nights are cool.

Yes!  🍁  🌾  🍁 

[KrissiK]

1 minute ago, myblessings4 said:

I will be older than all of you!

Angi wins,!🏆🏆🏆

[KrissiK]

1 minute ago, myblessings4 said:

Fall is my favorite!  Well, moreso not in Texas, but still...

Yeah, in California we call it fall, but it’s really Autumn-light. A third less spectacular than Regular Autumn.

Edited July 26, 2020 by KrissiK

[Slache]

Angi was born in the 1800s.

Edited July 26, 2020 by Slache

[Critterfixer]

I mostly do the write stuff down on a list and do what I can do and be happy with that. Or less happy. But I roll what doesn't get done to the next day most of the time. Summer is a hard time for me. I'm usually drowning in depression, but this year hasn't been as bad until recently. We had a cloudy and mostly rainy June. July and August, I fear, are going to be rough.

[KrissiK]

56 minutes ago, Slache said:

Angi was born in the 1800s.

Or as my kids say....”back then.....”.