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Critterfixer

Critterfixer

Posted
Posted (edited)

When the turtle wrangler isn't in the mood for school, the turtles suddenly become extra-studious little terrapins. :glare:

 

ETA: If it weren't for interfering cat, they'd have everything done by now. Grumpy one just handed me the French CD--"time to do French, Mom." Le grumble.

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ikslo

ikslo

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Context is this. Dh has OCD, and she is very, very like him in lots of other ways too. ILs took DH to several different therapists as a kid and it was all very traumatic and unhelpful. He’ll barely talk to me about it it gets him so angry. So he’s very against that idea, he feels like it’s something she just needs to figure out for herself like he had to. I don’t really agree, but I’m not fighting it yet...I do worry that even if we went to someone good she wouldn’t be able to talk to them. She gets so upset talking to me about it I can barely understand her words and she usually won’t even talk to dh, so how could she talk to a stranger?

 

:grouphug:

 

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KrissiK

KrissiK

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:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

Then I would go towards peace. Do the 3Rs. Bring Bible, history and science in through enjoyable read alouds, make sure to do math and writing, require her to read on her own in the least stressful manner possible (a time requirement each day? Or strewing and unschooling?). Unschool the rest or drop it. Keep notes based on conversations with her and dh and also based on your own observations about how you can help her, or what baby steps she needs to take to deal with the issues. I'm not saying it well, but do your own research to help her perhaps in the same way therapy would? School is not more important that that.

I have mentioned occasionally that oldest DS struggles with anxiety and we, too are very hesitant to get into the world of therapy and professional help. We tried it briefly, it was a disaster. But, we have been making progress, especially over the past several months by ourselves. It is not easy, but with a lot of prayer and intense scrutiny ( is this behavior anxiety? What is causing it? Are there patterns? What seems to help?) we feel like we are getting a handle on things.
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lots of little ducklings

lots of little ducklings

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Warning: WhinePo

 

As of 7:15am, our van is at the dealer’s for a recall and maintenance. They’d promised a minivan loaner, but sent dh home with a CRV instead. Because of course they gave our reserved loaner to someone else. Probably someone with 1.35 children and a nanny. <Evil eye mama glare.> I’m tempted to fill my 5 little darlings up with sugar and set them loose on Mr.-Fancy-Tie-Service-Guy’s neatly organized little office. For about 8-10 hours. With all the doors locked. See how much HE likes being trapped with them.

 

Whine over.

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Another Lynn

Another Lynn

Posted
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Warning: WhinePo

 

As of 7:15am, our van is at the dealer’s for a recall and maintenance. They’d promised a minivan loaner, but sent dh home with a CRV instead. Because of course they gave our reserved loaner to someone else. Probably someone with 1.35 children and a nanny. <Evil eye mama glare.> I’m tempted to fill my 5 little darlings up with sugar and set them loose on Mr.-Fancy-Tie-Service-Guy’s neatly organized little office. For about 8-10 hours. With all the doors locked. See how much HE likes being trapped with them.

 

Whine over.

 

Drive back over and ask him to help you get the 5 carseats safely in the CRV.   :lol:

 

#wheresthethirdrowseating

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AMJ

AMJ

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Context is this. Dh has OCD, and she is very, very like him in lots of other ways too. ILs took DH to several different therapists as a kid and it was all very traumatic and unhelpful. He’ll barely talk to me about it it gets him so angry. So he’s very against that idea, he feels like it’s something she just needs to figure out for herself like he had to. I don’t really agree, but I’m not fighting it yet...I do worry that even if we went to someone good she wouldn’t be able to talk to them. She gets so upset talking to me about it I can barely understand her words and she usually won’t even talk to dh, so how could she talk to a stranger?

 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Articulating it can be very hard.  I still haven't found a way to get DH to understand why the bedding has to be just so.  He simply understands that I will adjust it as needed, even if it means remaking what to others is a perfectly made bed.  

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AMJ

AMJ

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Really?  A whine-po booyah?  A Boo-hoo-yah?

 

Pretend it's something lovely and nice and that this post comes in a non-booyah spot, okay?

 

 

 

At the end of class time this morning I had a talk with (at) the girls.  I talked about the growing uncertainty of when I will return from Colorado, and whether Dad will come with me when I return or whether he will stay put a while longer.

 

Have I told you all about this?  I called Dad yesterday and caught him at the end of his good hours, when he had just relinquished his hangar at the airport (emotionally draining, I'm sure), and was tired and likely feeling down.  He said he wasn't feeling up to returning to Texas with me for the holidays, and I told him that was fine.  So I might or might not return when I expected to.  I might or might not spend the holidays in Colorado with Dad, trying to help him get more stuff done.  It is even more uncertain at what point Dad will be able to move into someplace here.  I simply have to get to Colorado and see what the situation is, and talk with Dad (on his schedule) of what needs to be done, by when, and by whom.  One advantage of me staying in Colorado until Dad is ready to come to Texas is he won't have to drive anymore, which means he won't have to pour any more money into his van.

 

So I talked to the girls about all of this, and how the possibilities will affect things over the next couple of months at least.  I spoke of everything I have to do before I leave, how there are so many uncertain possibilities that can't be determined until I go to Colorado, and how various possibilities will determine what happens with their homeschooling and various activities.  I spoke about Christmas decorations, and general housework, and studies while I'm gone, and how I need them to be a lot more independent RIGHT NOW.  I need them to STEP UP, TAKE ON DRIVING THEIR OWN LIVES.  I also need them to volunteer, pitch in when DH or Grandma & Grandpa are working on something, help get everything ready for everyone coming down for Christmas.  I need them to even think things through and solve problems as they crop up instead of just waiting for a parent to fix it.

 

I think they see my fatigue, and hear DH's and my frustration at having to always be the ones deciding and determining.  I told them I need them to not only write down what they have done, but what is coming up, track what must GET done and see that it does get done.  I have no option but to drop quite a lot of things in the coming weeks, so if they are to be done at all it will be up to the girls to see to getting them done.

 

Their intentions are good.  We will see how everything goes.

Edited by AMJ
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lots of little ducklings

lots of little ducklings

Posted
Posted

Drive back over and ask him to help you get the 5 carseats safely in the CRV. :lol:

 

#wheresthethirdrowseating

🤣

 

I actually said this to him over the phone. He had no reply.

 

But when they call to let me know the work is done, I’m going to try to get them to bring MY van back to my house (20 minutes away). Since of course I can’t very well get that paperweight parked in my driveway back to THEM.

🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸

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KrissiK

KrissiK

Posted
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Ut clauses may be the death of me. Thankfully, ITT regulations prevent this.

I think I am beginning to get a handle on those. I have not been very diligent studying my Latin lately. I really need to just make some flash cards and keep those with me, so at least I can practice vocabulary and conjugations. I still really struggle memorizing the passive voice and subjunctive mood.
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Slache

Slache

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Hi. Day 32 of my cycle. No surprise slaughterhouses yet. I've decided my random boughts of depression are my new PMS. I need to track to be sure. It's reassuring though. I didn't understand why it was happening.

 

I think I am beginning to get a handle on those. I have not been very diligent studying my Latin lately. I really need to just make some flash cards and keep those with me, so at least I can practice vocabulary and conjugations. I still really struggle memorizing the passive voice and subjunctive mood.

Please, sincerely consider ANKI. Such a time saver.

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KrissiK

KrissiK

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AMJ - consider what is really necessary and what isn't. Christmas decorations aren't really necessary. They are nice and all but if they don't get put up it is ok.

True that. Or, go modified decorating. You don’t need everything. Just a few touches that acknowledge the season that don’t stress anyone out.
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Critterfixer

Critterfixer

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I had to call the office yet again. I was very quiet--always a dangerous sign of an impending Ninja elephant attack. Anyway, they didn't give me the run around this time, because I think the receptionist feared the elephant stepping on her toes. I have an appointment for a consult, and at that time I get the biopsy appointment. 

Ironically, the appointment is on the same day I had my dentist appointment that I rescheduled for February because December was too full of doctor's appointments... :glare:

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Jean in Newcastle

Jean in Newcastle

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I had to call the office yet again. I was very quiet--always a dangerous sign of an impending Ninja elephant attack. Anyway, they didn't give me the run around this time, because I think the receptionist feared the elephant stepping on her toes. I have an appointment for a consult, and at that time I get the biopsy appointment. 

Ironically, the appointment is on the same day I had my dentist appointment that I rescheduled for February because December was too full of doctor's appointments... :glare:

 

I get very quiet when I'm angry.  One day dh heard me almost whispering to the kids and he told them, "Watch out.  She's going to blow!"  They hadn't noticed that trend until then. 

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Slache

Slache

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"Mary, what's 7 plus 7?"

"I don't know, I need the apple kiss."

*Mary moves 14 beads at one time*

"14."

 

 

 

I’m a little leery of swimming in the sea. I’ve done it before regarding this and got a few helpful things but also a few ppl who got really angry at dh and implied neglect. :(

 

 

I’m not totally sure. She does seem not as bothered by the compulsions during ballet but she dances with such laser focus I’m not sure it benefits the rest of her day. I’m guessing neutral.

 

 

I'll post for you. I've done it before.
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KrissiK

KrissiK

Posted
Posted

 

 

I’m a little leery of swimming in the sea. I’ve done it before regarding this and got a few helpful things but also a few ppl who got really angry at dh and implied neglect. :(

 

 

 

I would not go swimming in the sea with this. Some people do know what you’re going through, but others can be pretty judgmental. In our years dealing with our kids, I have learned not to discuss our problems with just anyone.
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KrissiK

KrissiK

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So, I need collective ITT wisdom here. DS’s school does the iPad thing. The kids are supposed to only have WiFi enabled, not cellular and the school supposedly has a good filter. All that said, DS texts me and said some kid in his class was looking at inappropriate things (i’m Assuming p*rn, and I suppose it could be on a personal phone and not the iPad) and he said he told the teacher. And then he was worried that they would think he was a snitch. I told him he did the right thing, esp. since it was p*rn. But then, of course I am second guessing myself. I assume he was discreet about it. He said he was. I just don’t want my kid shooting himself in the foot socially, but I also think he did the right thing because of the content and it was during class.

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Slache

Slache

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So, I need collective ITT wisdom here. DS’s school does the iPad thing. The kids are supposed to only have WiFi enabled, not cellular and the school supposedly has a good filter. All that said, DS texts me and said some kid in his class was looking at inappropriate things (i’m Assuming p*rn, and I suppose it could be on a personal phone and not the iPad) and he said he told the teacher. And then he was worried that they would think he was a snitch. I told him he did the right thing, esp. since it was p*rn. But then, of course I am second guessing myself. I assume he was discreet about it. He said he was. I just don’t want my kid shooting himself in the foot socially, but I also think he did the right thing because of the content and it was during class.

He definitely, absolutely did the right thing. No question. I would have waited until after class, because chicken.

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Critterfixer

Critterfixer

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So, I need collective ITT wisdom here. DS’s school does the iPad thing. The kids are supposed to only have WiFi enabled, not cellular and the school supposedly has a good filter. All that said, DS texts me and said some kid in his class was looking at inappropriate things (i’m Assuming p*rn, and I suppose it could be on a personal phone and not the iPad) and he said he told the teacher. And then he was worried that they would think he was a snitch. I told him he did the right thing, esp. since it was p*rn. But then, of course I am second guessing myself. I assume he was discreet about it. He said he was. I just don’t want my kid shooting himself in the foot socially, but I also think he did the right thing because of the content and it was during class.

I vote he did the right thing.

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JoJosMom

JoJosMom

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So, I need collective ITT wisdom here. DS’s school does the iPad thing. The kids are supposed to only have WiFi enabled, not cellular and the school supposedly has a good filter. All that said, DS texts me and said some kid in his class was looking at inappropriate things (i’m Assuming p*rn, and I suppose it could be on a personal phone and not the iPad) and he said he told the teacher. And then he was worried that they would think he was a snitch. I told him he did the right thing, esp. since it was p*rn. But then, of course I am second guessing myself. I assume he was discreet about it. He said he was. I just don’t want my kid shooting himself in the foot socially, but I also think he did the right thing because of the content and it was during class.

 

I agree that he did the right thing.

 

But I'm also right there with you on the worry. I've seen too much revolting behavior from teens in institutional learning environments. I'll say extra prayers for him. :grouphug:

 

(BTW, DD's bestie has a school-issued laptop. A group of boys in her English class sit together at the back of the class and watch YouTube videos the whole time. The teacher pretends not to notice.  :glare:  I'm a big fan of computers and the internet. But not at school. Not anymore.)

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Critterfixer

Critterfixer

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I agree that he did the right thing.

 

But I'm also right there with you on the worry. I've seen too much revolting behavior from teens in institutional learning environments. I'll say extra prayers for him. :grouphug:

 

(BTW, DD's bestie has a school-issued laptop. A group of boys in her English class sit together at the back of the class and watch YouTube videos the whole time. The teacher pretends not to notice.  :glare:  I'm a big fan of computers and the internet. But not at school. Not anymore.)

I think it's just way too much of a temptation to be distracted. And I say this as a grown-up who is finding it harder and harder to concentrate on Latin if my computer is handy. The brain likes to be distracted, I think.

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Slache

Slache

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Did the number of seconds required between posts increase?? I'm always crunched for time and try to respond to everyone quickly. On my phone, so I don't multi-quote. This time it said 14 seconds. I don't remember it being that long.

 

Hit Full Version at the bottom to multiquote.

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AMJ

AMJ

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AMJ - consider what is really necessary and what isn't.  Christmas decorations aren't really necessary.  They are nice and all but if they don't get put up it is ok. 

 

 

We have done that in the past, left decorating mostly undone and simply gazed across the street at the neighbor's wonderful display.  

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KrissiK

KrissiK

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I agree that he did the right thing.

 

But I'm also right there with you on the worry. I've seen too much revolting behavior from teens in institutional learning environments. I'll say extra prayers for him. :grouphug:

 

(BTW, DD's bestie has a school-issued laptop. A group of boys in her English class sit together at the back of the class and watch YouTube videos the whole time. The teacher pretends not to notice. :glare: I'm a big fan of computers and the internet. But not at school. Not anymore.)

I am sooooo not a fan of the iPad thing. It has been a nightmare from the get-go. But, this is the way the school does it and this is our only choice educationally, so.... this is what we do.😡
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KrissiK

KrissiK

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I think it's just way too much of a temptation to be distracted. And I say this as a grown-up who is finding it harder and harder to concentrate on Latin if my computer is handy. The brain likes to be distracted, I think.

oh, it is horrible for our poor boy. For homework time we had to turn off texting and everything else, but it is so hard for him to do the work on the iPad. I think he likes school overall. He’s playing basketball and he likes that, but academically he is struggling so much. I think it would be so much easier on him if he had paper and pens and books.
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Susan in TN

Susan in TN

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I've made December's budget and squeezed in Christmas stuff. The Advent calendar is pretty much done except for one minor part because I can't get the printer to print in color for some reason. I found and printed out some better jokes for the Christmas Crackers. The kids decorated their cookies. ( I don't want to decorate mine, just eat them!) :D Chicken crack wraps and mixed greens salad for dinner.

 

Also, da da-da daaaaaaaaa! My bow came today! It's beautiful! It's wonderful! I can play spiccato! 🎻

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