Ellie Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 So, I'm on the committee (by which I mean I'm one of two people) which is planning a family reunion for next July. I just got the addresses for a cousin's children. My cousin is 10 years older than I (his mother and my grandmother were sisters); he had three children with his first wife, then divorced. I think I only met those children once, because my cousin was in the Coast Guard and he was stationed far away. His second wife had two children from her first marriage, whom he adopted. They had no children together; they've been married since around 1972. I don't know if his adopted children lived with them, if they have a good relationship, nothin'. So here's the question: should I send the adopted, second-marriage children invitations to the reunion, and add them to the family FB page? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Err towards welcoming and inclusion. They are part of the family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 I'm confused. He's married and adopted his wife's children? Why wouldn't you invite them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Yes. They are his children if he adopted them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artichoke Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 So, I'm on the committee (by which I mean I'm one of two people) which is planning a family reunion for next July. I just got the addresses for a cousin's children. My cousin is 10 years older than I (his mother and my grandmother were sisters); he had three children with his first wife, then divorced. I think I only met those children once, because my cousin was in the Coast Guard and he was stationed far away. His second wife had two children from her first marriage, whom he adopted. They had no children together; they've been married since around 1972. I don't know if his adopted children lived with them, if they have a good relationship, nothin'. So here's the question: should I send the adopted, second-marriage children invitations to the reunion, and add them to the family FB page? They're his children and part of the family so of course you should invite them. Someone's supplied you with the addresses in order to invite them so that should probably answer the question for you right there. If he adopted the children, then why wouldn't they have lived with him and their mother? The biological father would have had to terminate his rights, unless he's deceased, for the second husband to adopt them. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Can you ask your cousin if you think his children would like to be included? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Unless you plan on finding out if all children of all other family members live with their parents and have a good relationship with them, I wouldn't do that for these children. They are his children and should be invited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Invite them. The decision to attend or not attend is their's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Invite them. Who knows? They might end up being the life of the party! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 I cannot imagine my brother-in-law's family not inviting my nephew to their family reunion. T is as much a part of their family as he is a part of ours. (BTW, T is my sister's son adopted by my DBIL after marriage, so much the same situation as described in the OP.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Yes, and invite the kids from the first marriage too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 If they were his biological children, would you be asking? Are you leaving out any other children? If all relatives children are invited, it would be odd to leave these out. Adoption means they are his children. (Stepparent adoption is no different from adoption by a couple that is unrelated to a child, it is as legal, and has the same ramifications - a new family is created.) Good luck with the reunion planning, and I hope it's a success! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Yes, and invite the kids from the first marriage too. Oh, yes. The kids from the first marriage! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 I think you should invite them, but since it sounds like they don't have any previous sense of connection with this part of their family and are all grown up, I think I'd ask your cousin, just in a, "We'd love to include them but wanted to make sure they want to be included," sort of way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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