Jean in Newcastle Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Ugh! We've hired home health aides to come for 8 hours a day to help MIL and FIL with their needs. The bad news is that in the week we've had them we've had only two good caregivers - one was a temp. and is not available to come again because she's now on vacation and the other one can only come twice a week. The others have been not horrible or abusive but . . . . needing a lot of direction that MIL with dementia and FIL with Alzheimers cannot give. So. . . I have driven 40 min. every single day to meet the (yet again) new caregiver to train them on the ILs needs and to assess if we feel safe leaving the ILs in their care. We were supposed to get a new caregiver today that was supposedly scheduled for 3 days in a row before we got the other good one on Friday (she can only come on Mon. and Fri.) Then we were going to have the already trained weekend person for Sat. and Sun. The good thing is that on Mon. the ILs move into a retirement home and we won't have to worry about this sort of thing. (Not that we won't be watching to make sure care is good there but it will be a more stable staffing situation with more staff on hand to help out.) Anyway. . . . I got an upset call from FIL this morning about the caregivers. He was not able to explain to me exactly what the problem was but he was definitely upset. I was planning to drive there anyway to meet this new caregiver but was very surprised to find that the caregiver that was there was not the person I was told to expect and that this woman told me that she's only there for one day only. Both FIL and MIL who had been doing pretty well had retreated to their rooms and refused to come out. No abuse here but upset at all the changes and the fact that these young experienced women do not know how to have an initiative and handle the situation. So. . . now we move on to the call I made to the caregiver agency. They tell me that the Tues, Wed., Thurs. caregiver has flaked out on them and that they've now scheduled yet another new person to come tomorrow and Thursday (my cynical side says "if she doesn't flake out"). The good caregiver will be there on Friday. And then the weekend person (who is ok but a bit lazy) has already asked for Sat. off and so there will be yet another person assigned for then. I asked with gritted teeth when they were going to call to tell me all this and was told that they had told FIL (who has Alzheimer's remember?!) all of this. No wonder he was upset! So. . . what should I do? I'm tempted to go Wed,, Thurs. and Saturday myself. I won't go Friday because the good person is coming then. And i can't go on Sunday and it should be the weekend person then anyway who at least they've already met. Dh is worried about me being there for a whole 8 hours but honestly, I've been spending about 4 hours there a day as it is and I could just bring my laptop and hang out. Or watch Judge Judy with MIL :laugh: We will have one more week with no school but with me having to drop everything to put out fires anyway, I'm not getting any school done with the kids anyway. (The kids are fairly self sufficient normally but they both ran into roadblocks that I have to unstick before they can go on and I simply do not have the time and energy to do that right now.) My thought is that ds17 could do chores for me at home so at least the laundry will be kept up. I'm fairly sure that dd will want to come with me to the iLs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Is there another agency you could use? :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 I'm SO glad they are going to the home. Doesn't sound like Agency Caregivers is going to work at ALL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Anne Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Welcome to home health care. Can you take your kids with you and stay there until the move into assisted living? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 We had a similar problem with flaky caregivers with my father. Here one day and then gone and having a new person come in every day was very upsetting to my dad. It was definitely one of the downsides of using an agency. I agree - if it were me, I would just abandon the rest of the week and move over to the ILs in the daytime for the next few days. Maybe your DD can bring her work and get some of it done. You are going to waste just as much time running back and forth and dealing with all the drama as you would watching Judge Judy. Hugs! This is a tough time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 4, 2014 Author Share Posted November 4, 2014 Just called SIL We decided that I will be there Wed. and Thurs. until after lunch and will then transport MIL (and FIL) to SIL's house where BIL can watch her and SIL can feed them dinner. Friday we'll have the good caregiver come to give us a break. We'll all be in and out of the ILs house on the weekend anyway to get them ready to move so that will be covered. I called the agency and gave them the news. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 Oh Jean, that sounds like a very difficult situation to have to handle. :grouphug: They're so lucky to have you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 I don't regret the times we have dropped school to spend time with family. Make sure you are finding some chill time for you. Judge Judy May be just the right ticket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 4, 2014 Share Posted November 4, 2014 I don't regret the times we have dropped school to spend time with family. Make sure you are finding some chill time for you. Judge Judy May be just the right ticket. I agree with this. My mom homeschooled my younger sisters and they spent a lot of time taking care of my Grandmother. My sisters have lots of fond memories of extra time with Grandma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 :grouphug: to you, Jean. I think the solutions you've found are just right. Hope all is well (or at least better) the rest of the week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 5, 2014 Author Share Posted November 5, 2014 :grouphug: to you, Jean. I think the solutions you've found are just right. Hope all is well (or at least better) the rest of the week. Thank you. I ended up not having to go there today because dh stayed overnight and most of today until he went to work this afternoon. He's exhausted but then we all are. I'm not sure what the plan is for tomorrow but I'm flexible. I'm just very glad that I got today off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 The quality of in home caregivers in our shared state is really spotty. I can't speak for other areas, but everyone I know here who has been through this has something to vent about. It honestly doesn't seem to matter much which agency either. The requirements are so minimal that pretty much anyone can get hired. We went through the exact same musical caregiver thing when my mom was in her final months. I needed to explain things so explicitly that ultimately we just stopped using the service. I am sorry and I am glad it is soon moot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted November 5, 2014 Share Posted November 5, 2014 Wow, what a merry-go-round :grouphug: . I hope their transition into the retirement center goes smoothly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 (((hugs)) My mom does in home care and it is horrible to deal with the agencies! I am glad you have an end coming soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted November 6, 2014 Share Posted November 6, 2014 So glad you got a day off! It sounds like you guys have a good plan for the next few days. Hang in there! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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