I am losing my mind

[Mommy to monkeys]

Ok. So you can see in my siggy how old my kids are.  My 4 year old is tough, but my twin 2 1/2 year olds are making this homeschooling thing sooo hard.  I'm trying to work with my 6th grader, 4th grader, and 1st grader.  I have all these great daily plans on paper that when I try to do them are sooo much harder in reality to implement.  I've had toddlers before.  NOT the same. Twins aren't double the work. . .it's exponential!  If you've ever had twins or just a lot of toddlers along with older kids, please weigh in.  I beg you.

 

They have a 2 hour naptime during which I already spend an hour reading aloud, 30 minutes going over some one on one work with the olders, and about 30 minutes doing household things ie prepping dinner and doing laundry. I cannot give up that last 30 minutes or we wouldn't get to eat. or wear clean clothes.  

 

I KNOW it will get easier in a year or two, but I'm honestly feeling the mommy guilt right NOW. Art and music!? What are those?? Science? Um that just involves reading right now. 

[beka87]

Your six and fourth could probably do a lot of content subjects independently, and there is nothing wrong with only reading to your first grader for things like history and science.  I don't have nearly the child load you do, but I have dealt with heavy health issues (my own) on three separate occasions now. It IS okay to give your kids the best grounding in the essentials, loop the secondary subjects, and let all the other stuff be delight directed, or minimally guided, with lots of independent work.  Also, there are some folks on here with great ideas for occupying little people.  Do you have a co-op or support group that could fill some gaps? Can your husband take over one subject and do it with the kids in the evening?  Don't confine yourself to that schedule that looks great on paper but is not what you need, not right now...try the blog Amongst Lovely Things, if you haven't already, for a little comfort and inspiration.  She schools three older kids, a preschooler (age 3) and one year old twin boys.  Above all, work on that guilt thing...you are only expected to give it your best (including the whole clean clothes and meals thing ;)), not become a super human... Hugs!!

[Mommy to monkeys]

My oldest 2 work almost entirely independently. I think that's where a lot of my guilt is. It doesn't feel FUN for them.

 

No co op.  We're very very rural, so there's not much of anything around here.

 

And I'm doing the single mom thing, so I've got no husband around. 

 

I will check out the blog your mentioned.  I may have looked at it before? Is that the one with circle time?

 

Thanks for letting me vent.

[freesia]

It will get better, really.

 

For Science, I was feeling overwhelmed and put my 2 middles in a textbook science and told them--do the experiments as you come to them. I made sure we have all the supplies (in summer) so it is possible.

 

Could you do music lessons--piano, for instance? Play classical music over lunch? Have them go through Story of the Orchestra and listen to the CD over dinner?

 

For art--Sister Wendy videos are nice. The library often has other videos about artist. There are also lots of kid friendly books about the artists. As for projects, for now I would just provide supplies and worry about techniques when you come up for air.

 

You could also do read alouds at bedtime (after the twins are in bed) and free up some time during nap time.

 

Sorry you are doing this all alone. You must be exhausted. Try not to be too hard on yourself about making it fun. Most everyone I know struggles with not having the "homeschool of their dreams." I would think that is true of those with kids in school, too.

[beka87]

Vent away, love.  And God bless you for doing what you are doing single!!  I know having my husband's support has made a world of difference, and for you to do what you do solo is pretty impressive.  Instead of feeling guilty about this, how about looking at yourself as a strong woman, because that is what you are.

 

Also, school may not be as fun for the older kids right now as it could be, but if they are getting a good education and being brought up the way you want them to be, then it's okay.  It really is.  Let this season of life pass.  It will.  And your kids will come away with good independent working abilities, which is a great skill to have.  One of these days, everyone will be on board with school work, instead wreaking havoc in your house, and you will be freer to give one on one time.  And everyone will turn out just fine. 

 

In the mean time, would it be more fun for the older two if you let them pick their own history/science topics, within reason of course.  Or Art/Music to study?  Let them investigate it to their heart's content with the only catch being that they have to show you what they've learned in some way...just a thought.  :)

[FloridaLisa]

I would venture to say it will change before the school year's out. Here are a couple of things that helped me when I had all 7 at home, schooling my oldest 5 and parenting my youngest two. 

 

• Have the oldest two each take a turn spending time with the twins so that you can spend one-on-one time with the other one. I assigned areas. Maybe your oldest could read books for 20 - 30 minutes or supervise some play while you work with your 9-year-old and then swap so that the 9-yo is supervising free play in a manageable area while you work with the oldest. This takes some training but I think it could work and buy you some valuable time.
• High chairs and activities: busy bags or snack or play do or an activity that they can do in their high chair while you are teaching another child. They are confined and safe and you can keep one eye on them. 
• Baths -- I could put mine in the bathtub and easily get in a 15 - 25 minute lesson sitting on the edge of the tub with an older child. 
• Can you get started with one or both of your olders before the twins are up? I had an early riser and I'd teach him math and grammar before anyone else was up. 
• You said you're rural, but every now and again, we would pack up and head to an indoor playplace and do breakfast and then let the littles play while I worked with the school age kids. Even though the older kids weren't *playing* it was still fun for them to get out of the house and mix it up a bit. 

Also, I had one year where my main job was to get my older kids started in their work and then keep the youngest happy, fed, entertained, busy, etc. I was available for my olders, but after my initial teaching time, they were fairly independent. I wouldn't want to do that every year, but you may need to cut back to teaching the core this year and allowing the independence while you supervise. 

 

I just remembered that I also used some video teaching in the busiest years. I loved IEW b/c Andrew Pudewa did the teaching and I just had to assign the paper and follow up with edits and re-working the papers.

 

Lisa

 

[MiMi 4under3]

I didn't yet homeschool when my kids were little, and it was hard enough. But, it does get better with twins...  :grouphug: 

[Erica in OR]

My twins are also around 2 1/2. You never quite know how they'll be during a school day. I'm hoping it gets better, too. :)

 

One suggestion: I wouldn't use half of the naptime for read aloud. Read aloud for us is a good time for them to either sit on a sibling's lap, use Play-Doh, or even while they're eating lunch. We also do audio books in the car when everyone's a captive audience, toddlers included.

 

Sometimes I'll have toddlers help me put in laundry, swap it over to the dryer, and help while I fold. For dinner prep, I desperately need to be by myself, so many times I pop in Dora or Elmo. Rotting their brains, I know, but at least we all get to eat. So I wouldn't necessarily use naptime for those either.

 

Erica in OR

[violamama]

I'm not really qualified to comment, but I can't help it. I am very impressed with the parents here. Including you. 

 

One small thing- as a music teacher I've had many many students' parents say they thought the kid never enjoyed practicing at all even though they were made to do it regularly. Despite all the grumbling, when the kid grew up they remembered it entirely differently and were even grateful. Perhaps this no-fun phase for your olders will be like that. They'll remember the benefits and the process of getting to the things they end up loving. Try not to take too short a view. 

 

If anyone offers to help you out (watching toddlers? making meals? taking a subject?) it seems it would be good to let them. Have you been able to ask for any help from your community? (Church, community center, neighborhood, friends, etc?) Maybe even an exchange of days with a friend for a couple of your kids?

[Space station]

I don't have toddlers, but I do daycare for 2. I second (or third) the previous suggestions about not using nap time for read alouds and having the older ones alternate playing with the toddlers while you work with the other. Also, spend some time with the toddlers in a fun productive way while the others are working independently, even if it really makes your work take a little longer. (Laundry, washing windows, scrubbing the floor, scrubbing the tub, etc. are serious fun to most of the toddlers I know.) Helping mom is fun for them, especially if they feel like they have your attention while they are doing it.

 

I also think that learning doesn't always have to be fun, as long as it is rewarding, if that makes any sense. So I bet your older kids are doing great, as are you!

 

(Edited for clarity)

[Um_2_4]

As you can see my twins are now 4 (almost 5). When they were that age, mine were in Kg and 3rd, so not quite as old as yours. the main things that helped were:

-read alouds while twins were awake. I started that when they were infants, it was not unusual for me to be nursing one, rocking the other one in a bouncy chair and reading while the older 2 sat on pillows on the floor in front of me. As they got older it moved to them sitting in high chairs (with 5 point restraints) and snacking, scribbling on paper taped to the tray, pop beads, or the like while I read. 

- When they hit that age (2-3) I had a HUGE rubbermaid bin filled with activities. I spent one week on our break making these bags. I always made 2 bags so no fighting over them. Some were just items I re purposed, others were things I printed and assembled.

- high chairs with 5 point restraints were a MUST for me. And getting the kids used to them from an early age helped.

-any naptime was for teaching the core subjects: for me that was my Kger to read/basic math and my 3rd grade math/writing. (all my kids give up naps between 2-3  :glare:, genetic I think)

- I did use some computer programs during that time and they were well worth it. I used reading eggs for my dd and some science/art programs for my DS. 

 

This year is the first year I am actually returning to make things more fun and more "mom involved". I am moving away from independent work and more mommy centered and the kids and I love that. The twins and DD8 are doing FIAR like unit studies together.

 

So it will improve, but big improvement did not hit till age 4 for me. And I totally agree that twins are not double but exponentially more work. :lol:  I only know personally one lady who has twins and when she heard I had twins, she reached out to me and that meant so much, as only another multiplies mom really gets it. Having kids 11-13 months apart is not the same as twins....but I keep being told that all the time and that irritates me so much.....

[AimeeM]

Do not spend an hour of nap time reading aloud - you could easily do that when the toddlers are in bed for the night instead (read aloud = bedtime story). Use that hour for school work.

Can your older children not entertain the twins AFTER school hours while you clean and prep dinner?

[Mommy to monkeys]

It will get better, really.

 

For Science, I was feeling overwhelmed and put my 2 middles in a textbook science and told them--do the experiments as you come to them. I made sure we have all the supplies (in summer) so it is possible.

 

Could you do music lessons--piano, for instance? Play classical music over lunch? Have them go through Story of the Orchestra and listen to the CD over dinner?

 

For art--Sister Wendy videos are nice. The library often has other videos about artist. There are also lots of kid friendly books about the artists. As for projects, for now I would just provide supplies and worry about techniques when you come up for air.

 

You could also do read alouds at bedtime (after the twins are in bed) and free up some time during nap time.

 

Sorry you are doing this all alone. You must be exhausted. Try not to be too hard on yourself about making it fun. Most everyone I know struggles with not having the "homeschool of their dreams." I would think that is true of those with kids in school, too.

I let my oldest two pick a science of their own this year.  6th grader is doing Abeka science and 4th grader is doing an apologia book. . .but they aren't actually doing any experiments. =(

Music is what I truly love, so they do know quite a bit about classical music just because I love it so much.  I'm a decent pianist and would love to teach my children to play, but I just haven't fit it in yet.

I actually read for about 45 minutes before bedtime once my twins are in bed.  I just see all these moms spending HOURS reading out loud to all these kids at one time, and feeling like I need to measure up.

They actually spend a good amount of time just messing around in the art supplies but I soo want them to have some actual art instruction as I had virtually none.  I'm not above video lessons.  I'll check it out.

 

Vent away, love.  And God bless you for doing what you are doing single!!  I know having my husband's support has made a world of difference, and for you to do what you do solo is pretty impressive.  Instead of feeling guilty about this, how about looking at yourself as a strong woman, because that is what you are.

 

Also, school may not be as fun for the older kids right now as it could be, but if they are getting a good education and being brought up the way you want them to be, then it's okay.  It really is.  Let this season of life pass.  It will.  And your kids will come away with good independent working abilities, which is a great skill to have.  One of these days, everyone will be on board with school work, instead wreaking havoc in your house, and you will be freer to give one on one time.  And everyone will turn out just fine. 

 

In the mean time, would it be more fun for the older two if you let them pick their own history/science topics, within reason of course.  Or Art/Music to study?  Let them investigate it to their heart's content with the only catch being that they have to show you what they've learned in some way...just a thought.  :)

I feel like no one's BEHIND skill wise. We're just lacking all those fun experiments and projects all together that all these other moms seem to make look so fun.  The olders did pick their books for this year, and I'm making them narrate or answer the questions orally in those books.  That's about it.

 

I would venture to say it will change before the school year's out. Here are a couple of things that helped me when I had all 7 at home, schooling my oldest 5 and parenting my youngest two. 

 

• Have the oldest two each take a turn spending time with the twins so that you can spend one-on-one time with the other one. I assigned areas. Maybe your oldest could read books for 20 - 30 minutes or supervise some play while you work with your 9-year-old and then swap so that the 9-yo is supervising free play in a manageable area while you work with the oldest. This takes some training but I think it could work and buy you some valuable time.
• High chairs and activities: busy bags or snack or play do or an activity that they can do in their high chair while you are teaching another child. They are confined and safe and you can keep one eye on them. 
• Baths -- I could put mine in the bathtub and easily get in a 15 - 25 minute lesson sitting on the edge of the tub with an older child. 
• Can you get started with one or both of your olders before the twins are up? I had an early riser and I'd teach him math and grammar before anyone else was up. 
• You said you're rural, but every now and again, we would pack up and head to an indoor playplace and do breakfast and then let the littles play while I worked with the school age kids. Even though the older kids weren't *playing* it was still fun for them to get out of the house and mix it up a bit. 

Also, I had one year where my main job was to get my older kids started in their work and then keep the youngest happy, fed, entertained, busy, etc. I was available for my olders, but after my initial teaching time, they were fairly independent. I wouldn't want to do that every year, but you may need to cut back to teaching the core this year and allowing the independence while you supervise. 

 

I just remembered that I also used some video teaching in the busiest years. I loved IEW b/c Andrew Pudewa did the teaching and I just had to assign the paper and follow up with edits and re-working the papers.

 

Lisa

I definitely need to do some of this.

I feel a bit guilty when I ask my olders to help with the youngers during school time, simply because I KNOW they just want to "get it done" and move on.  ((sigh)) BUT I know their work is better if they take breaks and they do get along really well with the younger ones.

The high chair thing would take some work.  My twins are 2 1/2 but with very very delayed communication skills. They scream bloody murder in their high chairs if they don't want to be there.  I'm guilty of letting them roam free with a graham cracker to keep the peace.

I knew going into this year that this year (and possibly the next) would be the hardest.  I'm actually looking at IEW for next year as a possibility for my older ones.

 

I didn't yet homeschool when my kids were little, and it was hard enough. But, it does get better with twins...  :grouphug:

Thanks. I'm soo hoping so.

[Mommy to monkeys]

My twins are also around 2 1/2. You never quite know how they'll be during a school day. I'm hoping it gets better, too. :)

 

One suggestion: I wouldn't use half of the naptime for read aloud. Read aloud for us is a good time for them to either sit on a sibling's lap, use Play-Doh, or even while they're eating lunch. We also do audio books in the car when everyone's a captive audience, toddlers included.

 

Sometimes I'll have toddlers help me put in laundry, swap it over to the dryer, and help while I fold. For dinner prep, I desperately need to be by myself, so many times I pop in Dora or Elmo. Rotting their brains, I know, but at least we all get to eat. So I wouldn't necessarily use naptime for those either.

 

Erica in OR

 

Man.  No using naptime for reading aloud seems to be the popular idea.  I can read to my 6 and 4 year old with no problems during the day, but somehow when I try to read to all FOUR older ones, chaos ensues.  It's just sooo loud for some reason.  How do they KNOW to be noisy when I need them to be quiet.  And the sound reverberates like crazy because of my hard wood floors.  Maybe I'll try again experimenting with times.

 

I have learned to love Baby Einstein.

I'm not really qualified to comment, but I can't help it. I am very impressed with the parents here. Including you. 

 

One small thing- as a music teacher I've had many many students' parents say they thought the kid never enjoyed practicing at all even though they were made to do it regularly. Despite all the grumbling, when the kid grew up they remembered it entirely differently and were even grateful. Perhaps this no-fun phase for your olders will be like that. They'll remember the benefits and the process of getting to the things they end up loving. Try not to take too short a view. 

 

If anyone offers to help you out (watching toddlers? making meals? taking a subject?) it seems it would be good to let them. Have you been able to ask for any help from your community? (Church, community center, neighborhood, friends, etc?) Maybe even an exchange of days with a friend for a couple of your kids?

 

I do hope this is the case.  They're building skills that they'll use their whole life and the older two LOVE to read. (I'm still working on ds 6 as he's still less than thrilled with it)

 

I would love to have help, and back when the twins were younger, I had a friend try and help, but her schedule was sooo different than mine that even though she was trying to help, it actually made things even harder.  Grandma lives 6 hours away, but does stock my freezer with meals when she comes.  I pull them out in times of desperate need.

Oh man, hugs to you! I second having the older kiddos alternate toddler watching duty, or reading them books for half an hour while the other student gets more help. It's a good mental break for the older kid, too!

 

 

I don't have toddlers, but I do daycare for 2. I second (or third) the previous suggestions about not using nap time for read alouds and having the older ones alternate playing with the toddlers while you work with the other. Also, spend some time with the toddlers in a fun productive way while the others are working independently, even if it really makes your work take a little longer. (Laundry, washing windows, scrubbing the floor, scrubbing the tub, etc. are serious fun to most of the toddlers I know.) Helping mom is fun for them, especially if they feel like they have your attention while they are doing it.

 

I also think that learning doesn't always have to be fun, as long as it is rewarding, if that makes any sense. So I bet your older kids are doing great, as are you!

 

(Edited for clarity)

 

This is going to be the first thing we're changing, I think.  I need to let go of the guilt of having them help.

As you can see my twins are now 4 (almost 5). When they were that age, mine were in Kg and 3rd, so not quite as old as yours. the main things that helped were:

-read alouds while twins were awake. I started that when they were infants, it was not unusual for me to be nursing one, rocking the other one in a bouncy chair and reading while the older 2 sat on pillows on the floor in front of me. As they got older it moved to them sitting in high chairs (with 5 point restraints) and snacking, scribbling on paper taped to the tray, pop beads, or the like while I read. 

- When they hit that age (2-3) I had a HUGE rubbermaid bin filled with activities. I spent one week on our break making these bags. I always made 2 bags so no fighting over them. Some were just items I re purposed, others were things I printed and assembled.

- high chairs with 5 point restraints were a MUST for me. And getting the kids used to them from an early age helped.

-any naptime was for teaching the core subjects: for me that was my Kger to read/basic math and my 3rd grade math/writing. (all my kids give up naps between 2-3  :glare:, genetic I think)

- I did use some computer programs during that time and they were well worth it. I used reading eggs for my dd and some science/art programs for my DS. 

 

This year is the first year I am actually returning to make things more fun and more "mom involved". I am moving away from independent work and more mommy centered and the kids and I love that. The twins and DD8 are doing FIAR like unit studies together.

 

So it will improve, but big improvement did not hit till age 4 for me. And I totally agree that twins are not double but exponentially more work. :lol:  I only know personally one lady who has twins and when she heard I had twins, she reached out to me and that meant so much, as only another multiplies mom really gets it. Having kids 11-13 months apart is not the same as twins....but I keep being told that all the time and that irritates me so much.....

 

May I ask where you got your idea for "busy bag" activities?  I'm a bit concerned that they just throw the pieces everywhere and try to eat them. They seem to like activities like lacing and puzzles, but ONLY if I'm sitting down with them helping them.  Otherwise they get really frustrated and angry.  Maybe this is a job older kids could help with while I'm reading?

 

No, Irish twins aren't the same as twins. I've had a mommy with two kids try and explain to me how she does things and why I should do them like she does. I was sleep deprived at the time, so I probably cried.  Now thinking about it, it's just funny.  I'm always open to ideas, but what she suggesting was ridiculous.

Do not spend an hour of nap time reading aloud - you could easily do that when the toddlers are in bed for the night instead (read aloud = bedtime story). Use that hour for school work.

Can your older children not entertain the twins AFTER school hours while you clean and prep dinner?

I am definitely going to drop reading at naptime, but I am going to attempt trying to do a read aloud time while twins are awake.  Worst case scenario is we drop it? We still have a long reading time at night.  

 

The older ones WILL help if I ask them to.  I just feel bad about it.  I know I shouldn't.

 

I'll tell ya'll I soo wanted to have the chance to do some really great things this year, but I guess I'm going to accept that it will be a "get it done" kind of year. Again.

[freesia]

You know, it doesn't really sound like what is happening in your homeschool is as bad as you think it is. Maybe you are "guilty" of really high standards and, maybe, comparing yourself to only the good things in other folk's house?

 

I don't know anyone with 5 kids who read and read hours. I did with the first 2 maybe and then last year when the youngest was 4 I would pull her and her brother (the 3rd) and read to them from 11-12. When the third was 2 I had moved read alouds to after his bedtime in desperation. I had read to him, but not as much. But, starting last year (when he was 8) the time increased. Every year does not have to be the same for each child. Evaluate yearly and see if you need to spend more time on something and what will need to be sacrificed to do it. It's okay (and for the record the third is a strong reader with excellent comprehension skills and, although he doesn't like to write, he has a flair for words.So, his uneven lack of consistent "hours" of reading didn't hamper him any.)

 

They could do the experiments themselves, if you want. However, my dd11's lack of science experiments over the last 2 or so years has made zero difference in her ability to do science experiments this year.

 

When I was at your stage I homeschooled 4 or 5 weeks on, one week off (and took 6 weeks in the summer). The week off I cleaned the house, gave the toddler more attention and tried to do 1 or 2 fun projects (bc I, too, was unable to pull that off when the fourth was little). The olders also used that week to "catch up" in any subject that had been let go (usually in order to lower the overall stress level). I loved that schedule (and would still do it but couldn't because of "life" this year--there is ALWAYS something).

 

Are your kids happy? Are they developing into people you enjoy? Do they (mostly) like each other? You seem to have the curriculum under control, really. It may be they are doing just fine without your fun projects (even if they would enjoy them). Maybe they need a Mom who goes a bit easier on herself.

[freesia]

Oh and definitely lose the guilt over them helping around the house. That is life training. What a shock to become an adult and realize that you can't just go to work and come home and play. They are home living in the house, of course they should help maintain it just as you maintain the house you live in. They will still have tons of time to play!

[Um_2_4]

 

 

 

 

 

May I ask where you got your idea for "busy bag" activities?  I'm a bit concerned that they just throw the pieces everywhere and try to eat them. They seem to like activities like lacing and puzzles, but ONLY if I'm sitting down with them helping them.  Otherwise they get really frustrated and angry.  Maybe this is a job older kids could help with while I'm reading?

 

No, Irish twins aren't the same as twins. I've had a mommy with two kids try and explain to me how she does things and why I should do them like she does. I was sleep deprived at the time, so I probably cried.  Now thinking about it, it's just funny.  I'm always open to ideas, but what she suggesting was ridiculous.

 

 

 

For busy bags, well it depends on the kids. I had one chewer (he mouths everything, still does to be honest, sensory issues), so I had to watch small pieces.

Some easy ideas:

-dry erase crayons and laminated mazes, EASY dot to dots, tracing (I did not use page protectors as they could just pull the sheets out) or there are lots of dry erase books at $ stores. I found some made by crayola at walmart.

- stickers (look for large easy to peel, also remove the backing from pages of stickers) and blank paper or printed scenes they could stick them in

- I did use pom-poms and tongs and ice cube trays (maybe one to have the older ones help out with)

-color wonder stuff

- edible play dough and cookie cutters (that was a high chair only type thing)

- LARGE wooden beads and thick string

- wooden pattern blocks and laminated pages to make pictures (google: free printable pattern block cards)

-magnets on a cookie sheet from the $ store

 

I also bagged up some "toys" that were for school time only: 

-linking blocks

- those wooden dress up bears

- a set of castle wooden blocks

-some melissa & doug wooden tools/nuts/bolts

 

Also my kids liked -scrap paper and safety scissors in a plastic shoe box, big fat crayons and brown kraft paper taped to the coffee table (I also used to use the back of extra wrapping paper).

 

I think what worked for me was that the minute I saw things "going south" or they lost interest. It was "clean up time" and they could pick something else. This meant I stopped it before it could REALLLY get out of hand.

 

My twins still love to be read to by the older 2. And it gives my older 2 practice reading aloud. So do use that to your advantage. Let the older ones pick out a book or 2 to read aloud. There are lots of easy "crafts" (like cut and paste easy) on sites like dltk-kids.com that you could print out for the olders to do with the twins.

 

:lol: And the Irish twin thing yeah... I just giggle about it now. Until you have had 2 6 week olds crying at the same time... it is not the same. One time one lady I know kept insisting, so I finally said, well when your 15mo old gets hungry you can give him some cheerios/banana and say "eat this, mommy will get you a cup of milk in just a minute" while you tend to the 8 week old right?? she said "of course".  well..I said.... I can't do that to the 8 week old while I tend to the other 8 week old. That stopped her advice :lol: .

[Mommy to monkeys]

 

Are your kids happy? Yes Are they developing into people you enjoy?most definitely  Do they (mostly) like each other?This is actually my favorite part of homeschooling.  They all get along REALLY well for the most part, and play all together so well. You seem to have the curriculum under control, really. It may be they are doing just fine without your fun projects (even if they would enjoy them). Maybe they need a Mom who goes a bit easier on herself.  Maybe they do.  I asked my daughter (who says she doesn't like school) what she liked doing, and she said, "I like baking."  I tried to explain to her that baking can count as school work, but she defines school as "hard things that I don't like to do".  Go figure.

 

 

For busy bags, well it depends on the kids. I had one chewer (he mouths everything, still does to be honest, sensory issues), so I had to watch small pieces.

Some easy ideas:

-dry erase crayons and laminated mazes, EASY dot to dots, tracing (I did not use page protectors as they could just pull the sheets out) or there are lots of dry erase books at $ stores. I found some made by crayola at walmart.

- stickers (look for large easy to peel, also remove the backing from pages of stickers) and blank paper or printed scenes they could stick them in

- I did use pom-poms and tongs and ice cube trays (maybe one to have the older ones help out with)

-color wonder stuff

- edible play dough and cookie cutters (that was a high chair only type thing)

- LARGE wooden beads and thick string

- wooden pattern blocks and laminated pages to make pictures (google: free printable pattern block cards)

-magnets on a cookie sheet from the $ store

 

I also bagged up some "toys" that were for school time only: 

-linking blocks

- those wooden dress up bears

- a set of castle wooden blocks

-some melissa & doug wooden tools/nuts/bolts

 

Also my kids liked -scrap paper and safety scissors in a plastic shoe box, big fat crayons and brown kraft paper taped to the coffee table (I also used to use the back of extra wrapping paper).

 

I think what worked for me was that the minute I saw things "going south" or they lost interest. It was "clean up time" and they could pick something else. This meant I stopped it before it could REALLLY get out of hand.

 

My twins still love to be read to by the older 2. And it gives my older 2 practice reading aloud. So do use that to your advantage. Let the older ones pick out a book or 2 to read aloud. There are lots of easy "crafts" (like cut and paste easy) on sites like dltk-kids.com that you could print out for the olders to do with the twins.

 

:lol: And the Irish twin thing yeah... I just giggle about it now. Until you have had 2 6 week olds crying at the same time... it is not the same. One time one lady I know kept insisting, so I finally said, well when your 15mo old gets hungry you can give him some cheerios/banana and say "eat this, mommy will get you a cup of milk in just a minute" while you tend to the 8 week old right?? she said "of course".  well..I said.... I can't do that to the 8 week old while I tend to the other 8 week old. That stopped her advice :lol: .

This list is crazy helpful.  I have some of these things. It's just a matter of prepping and getting everything together and ready.

[freesia]

I have a son who defines school as anything he didn't like to do that was hard, too. The thing that was hard for me is that I was a primary teacher for a decade and kids *loved* my class. Then came my third born who was determined *not* to like school in any way, shape or form. I spent years trying to figure it out while trying to cope with a toddler. Dh helped alot. He said, "He's a kid (he may have said a boy--but I think he meant kid), of course he prefers playing." I had loved school myself as a little one and a wanted my kids to love it. I had to let go of that. Any you know what? Now, at the end of third grade he said, "You know, school is not quite so horrible anymore." I was thrilled!

 

I had to let go of feeling it was my responsibility to make if fun--I'd hit a brick wall-- a kid who refused to admit it was ever going to be fun.

 

If she likes to bake--let her bake, and don't feel bad about coming up with projects. Or really, they are old enough to do them on their own. My oldest loved projects but his chief time for them was when I was completely overwhelmed. I did what I could. It helped when a mother of 9 told me that if he liked them so much, give him the book and he could do them if he cared. If he didn't want to do them enough to do them from the book, it didn't matter that much to him.

 

Sounds like you have a great bunch of kids! I bet you'll look back on these crazy times with the twins and laugh. But, it was hard enough for me to have 1 toddler, so I can't even imagine.

[Slache]

I'd be losing my mind too. I'm sorry. I think your school sounds great. Reading is so good for science and the fact that you have independent learners means you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. Good job!

[Mandylubug]

 Having kids 11-13 months apart is not the same as twins....but I keep being told that all the time and that irritates me so much.....

 

I had "irish twins" (11 months) and then had "real" twins. Irish twins are SO much easier! Just tell the annoying people to shush!

[Mommy to monkeys]

I have a son who defines school as anything he didn't like to do that was hard, too. The thing that was hard for me is that I was a primary teacher for a decade and kids *loved* my class. Then came my third born who was determined *not* to like school in any way, shape or form. I spent years trying to figure it out while trying to cope with a toddler. Dh helped alot. He said, "He's a kid (he may have said a boy--but I think he meant kid), of course he prefers playing." I had loved school myself as a little one and a wanted my kids to love it. I had to let go of that. Any you know what? Now, at the end of third grade he said, "You know, school is not quite so horrible anymore." I was thrilled! I don't think any of them HATE school, they'd just rather do what they want to do. Popular sentiment, I guess. My 4 year old is the only one who ASKS to do her "schoolwork". (Rod and Staff GHI series) The novelty just seems to wear off for us as they get older.

 

I had to let go of feeling it was my responsibility to make if fun--I'd hit a brick wall-- a kid who refused to admit it was ever going to be fun. I have 2 children like this. They don't like school and when I bend over backwards killing myself to try and integrate projects to MAKE it MORE FUN, they're still less than thrilled because they want to get FINISHED and do the things they want to do AND it exhausts me.

 

If she likes to bake--let her bake, and don't feel bad about coming up with projects. She is very responsible in the kitchen and looks forward to making our treat for tea time each week. Or really, they are old enough to do them on their own. My oldest loved projects but his chief time for them was when I was completely overwhelmed.  I did what I could. It helped when a mother of 9 told me that if he liked them so much, give him the book and he could do them if he cared. If he didn't want to do them enough to do them from the book, it didn't matter that much to him. My oldest son actually goes in spurts with things like that. He has NEVER volunteered to do his "school" experiments as he seems to think of that as more work, but he's spent countless hours with his snap circuits and chemistry set.  Go figure.

 

Sounds like you have a great bunch of kids! I bet you'll look back on these crazy times with the twins and laugh. But, it was hard enough for me to have 1 toddler, so I can't even imagine. Man, I hope so. I truly do.  It is so crazy right now, and I know the future will be a little easier.  I just don't want to miss out on spending time and having fun with my bigger kids NOW.  I will never get this time back. They're getting older. I have 2 more than half way to adulthood, and that stirs up all kind of emotions in me. What will they remember? I just really want there to be a lot of happy memories.

[LizItaly]

My twins DDs are now 9, and it definitely gets much easier!  This is our first year homeschooling so I don't have lots of experience, but I think what you are doing is impressive!  My little DD, almost 3, often takes up huge amounts of time, and she's just a singleton.  I can imagine how frustrating it must feel sometimes.

 

I also wouldn't worry about asking your older kids to help out with entertaining/distracting/containing the little ones.  My older girls really enjoy helping with their sister, and though it means time away from their studies, they are still learning.  They often help get the little one dressed in the morning while I am getting organized for school, take turns watching her during her bath while I make dinner, or read to her if they themselves need a little break from schoolwork.  Every little bit helps and it allows me to make better use of little DD's naptime.  I think getting attention from all of us also makes little DD feel more included.

 

Some school-time activities that little DD loves:

 

- washing the dishes (I half-fill the sink with soapy, warm water and she kneels on a chair and washes plastic or metal dishes, or her plastic animals; this could also be done in a plastic infant bath on a towel on the floor so that 2 can do it together)

 

- home-made playdough

 

- listening to stories on cd (we have the "Frog and Toad" series, "Tubby the Tuba" and a few others)

 

- setting up plastic animal "families" (we have lots of plastic animals and she loves to organize all the ponies in a row, etc.)

 

- gluing scraps of paper onto a big piece of scrap paper

 

- cutting scrap paper with toddler scissors

 

- playing with a box of cheap-o band-aids (she loves putting band-aids on herself, her dolls, and other people)

 

I know, though, that with twins, sometimes giving them an activity ends up being more work for you.  

 

It honestly sounds like you are doing very well.  We still have days when we are not getting a lot done and I feel like I am falling down on the job, and I've just got three.  I admire you!

 

:grouphug:

 

 

Liz

[Erica in OR]

Another suggestion re: read aloud. I used to have read aloud on the schedule every day of school, but it wasn't getting done. Once I gave myself permission to cut it down to three days a week, it lifted a burden for me. Perhaps part of your read aloud time could get transitioned over to something else you'd really like to add in, but only one or two days a week.

 

I was also thinking about you last week. One of my twins is showing signs of transitioning away from a daily naptime. Ugh. Figure out how to deal with the situation and then they seem have a midnight chat together and make an agreement about what monkey wrench they're going to throw into it next. :)

 

Erica in OR

[Lynn in Caribbean]

You are so right about the “exponential†aspect of twins.  Only mothers of twins can fathom that …my twins are big kids now….

 

Probably I am repeating some of the fantastic advice above:

 

1)      Use your elder children as babysitters!  They can each take a turn, even if only for 30 minutes, watching the little ones, with you nearby teaching the other elder.

 

2)      Keep it really simple.  For a while, my older kids only did 2 things – math and Abeka language each day.  The planning required of me for both of those was “turn to the next page.† All my other plans went out the window.

 

3)      Reading aloud was the hardest thing for me to do, because of the noise level.  Boy, are twins ever noisy!!  I did read aloud to my older kids at bedtime, when the little ones were down for the night.  But reading aloud while the littles were awake was just not possible, it was just too chaotic – and like I said, noisy.

 

4)      Do I have any regrets?  Yes!!!!  I do not regret, or even think much about the fact that I could not do school “properly†with my older kids during those few years.  What I DO regret, and regret deeply, is that I missed so much good baby time.  I regret that I was just trying to figure out what to do with the babies, so I could get something “Really Important†done with the older kids.

 

5)      The end result:  The older ones are now both in college, and doing very well.  The best thing that came out of those years was that, since I could not devote all day to their studies (and since I did not allow them to watch TV or play “screen games†on weekdays) they used that time to read, write, play, and just be kids.  They both became great writers.  And I attribute it to those years when they had time to think.

 

 

It is so hard to get any perspective at all, when you are in the thick of things.  I’m sure I couldn’t take in any advice at that point, probably did not even have time to read all this stuff!  Wish I could give you a hug!!!

[Laura Corin]

They have a 2 hour naptime during which I already spend an hour reading aloud, 30 minutes going over some one on one work with the olders, and about 30 minutes doing household things ie prepping dinner and doing laundry. I cannot give up that last 30 minutes or we wouldn't get to eat. or wear clean clothes.  

 

 

Could your older children put the laundry on while you teach?  Could you swing the cooking time to the beginning of the day (crock pot) or could your partner take it on in the evening?

 

L

[Peplophoros]

One thing I've started doing is downloading all the Jim Weiss CDs I can find at the library and have HIM do my "read aloud"...that way I can cook or clean up while we are all listening to the "read aloud" and maximize my time. 

[Mommy to monkeys]

My twins DDs are now 9, and it definitely gets much easier!  This is our first year homeschooling so I don't have lots of experience, but I think what you are doing is impressive!  My little DD, almost 3, often takes up huge amounts of time, and she's just a singleton.  I can imagine how frustrating it must feel sometimes.

 

I also wouldn't worry about asking your older kids to help out with entertaining/distracting/containing the little ones.  My older girls really enjoy helping with their sister, and though it means time away from their studies, they are still learning.  They often help get the little one dressed in the morning while I am getting organized for school, take turns watching her during her bath while I make dinner, or read to her if they themselves need a little break from schoolwork.  Every little bit helps and it allows me to make better use of little DD's naptime.  I think getting attention from all of us also makes little DD feel more included.

 

Some school-time activities that little DD loves:

 

- washing the dishes (I half-fill the sink with soapy, warm water and she kneels on a chair and washes plastic or metal dishes, or her plastic animals; this could also be done in a plastic infant bath on a towel on the floor so that 2 can do it together)

 

- home-made playdough

 

- listening to stories on cd (we have the "Frog and Toad" series, "Tubby the Tuba" and a few others)

 

- setting up plastic animal "families" (we have lots of plastic animals and she loves to organize all the ponies in a row, etc.)

 

- gluing scraps of paper onto a big piece of scrap paper

 

- cutting scrap paper with toddler scissors

 

- playing with a box of cheap-o band-aids (she loves putting band-aids on herself, her dolls, and other people)

 

I know, though, that with twins, sometimes giving them an activity ends up being more work for you.  

 

It honestly sounds like you are doing very well.  We still have days when we are not getting a lot done and I feel like I am falling down on the job, and I've just got three.  I admire you!

 

:grouphug:

 

 

Liz

Honestly, when I see so many of the things other people toddlers are doing, it makes me realize how very very delayed mine are. Wow.  Hopefully 6 months from now and they'll be catching up a bit developmentally. I used to have a special set of toddler scissors.  I should get another 2 pair and see how they do with those (SUPERVISED!)

 

Another suggestion re: read aloud. I used to have read aloud on the schedule every day of school, but it wasn't getting done. Once I gave myself permission to cut it down to three days a week, it lifted a burden for me. Perhaps part of your read aloud time could get transitioned over to something else you'd really like to add in, but only one or two days a week. This is a really great and doable idea I think. I cannot read aloud to everyone with the twins awake.   I tried Sunday, yesterday, and today.  Not happening!  But I can extend bedtime read aloud and I can read during naptime on weekends AND on Tuesdays (I schedule lightly to plan tea time in the afternoon). Hopefully that will be enough for now.  This isn't forever.  Yesterday I almost didn't know what to do with that whole extra hour for school time.  It was FANTASTIC and UNRUSHED.

 

I was also thinking about you last week. One of my twins is showing signs of transitioning away from a daily naptime. No. No. No. This cannot happen. I'm so not ready. I'm not even thrilled that my 4 year old won't nap anymore.  All my others napped till they were 5. Ugh. Figure out how to deal with the situation and then they seem have a midnight chat together and make an agreement about what monkey wrench they're going to throw into it next. :) Ha! It does seem like that.

 

Erica in OR

 

 

You are so right about the “exponential†aspect of twins.  Only mothers of twins can fathom that …my twins are big kids now….

 

Probably I am repeating some of the fantastic advice above:

 

1)      Use your elder children as babysitters!  They can each take a turn, even if only for 30 minutes, watching the little ones, with you nearby teaching the other elder.

 

2)      Keep it really simple.  For a while, my older kids only did 2 things – math and Abeka language each day.  The planning required of me for both of those was “turn to the next page.† All my other plans went out the window.

 

3)      Reading aloud was the hardest thing for me to do, because of the noise level.  Boy, are twins ever noisy!!  I did read aloud to my older kids at bedtime, when the little ones were down for the night.  But reading aloud while the littles were awake was just not possible, it was just too chaotic – and like I said, noisy.

 

4)      Do I have any regrets?  Yes!!!!  I do not regret, or even think much about the fact that I could not do school “properly†with my older kids during those few years.  What I DO regret, and regret deeply, is that I missed so much good baby time.  I regret that I was just trying to figure out what to do with the babies, so I could get something “Really Important†done with the older kids.

 

5)      The end result:  The older ones are now both in college, and doing very well.  The best thing that came out of those years was that, since I could not devote all day to their studies (and since I did not allow them to watch TV or play “screen games†on weekdays) they used that time to read, write, play, and just be kids.  They both became great writers.  And I attribute it to those years when they had time to think.

 

 

It is so hard to get any perspective at all, when you are in the thick of things.  I’m sure I couldn’t take in any advice at that point, probably did not even have time to read all this stuff!  Wish I could give you a hug!!!

Number 4 REALLY resonates with me. Long term, I don't think I would regret that we didn't finish our Spanish book nearly as much as I'd regret missing out on baby time.

And number 5 --deep breaths.  It will all turn out.  

 

Could your older children put the laundry on while you teach?  Could you swing the cooking time to the beginning of the day (crock pot) or could your partner take it on in the evening?

 

L

 

Actually my laundry is a bit of a pain. Unless I want to wash in icy cold water, I have to heat water on the stove and manually fill the washer.  I've got no partner but I am trying to plan more crockpot meals.  

One thing I've started doing is downloading all the Jim Weiss CDs I can find at the library and have HIM do my "read aloud"...that way I can cook or clean up while we are all listening to the "read aloud" and maximize my time. 

Downloading Jim Weiss CDs at the library? This sounds great but I don't follow what you mean.

[Laura Corin]

Actually my laundry is a bit of a pain. Unless I want to wash in icy cold water, I have to heat water on the stove and manually fill the washer.  I've got no partner but I am trying to plan more crockpot meals.  

 

That does sound like a pain.  I grew up with a twin tub washing machine, and I remember how much time it took to do a wash - and that was just for me and my mum.

 

Best wishes

 

Laura

[PagesandFields]

Just wanted to say hugs, you're amazing, and don't you dare feel guity.  I have 2... seriously 2... like total...  and I feel like I'm losing my mind too.   :)  So you are officially superwoman, and are only allowed to say nice things about yourself.  You ARE allowed to vent.  

 

My DH worked 7 days a week and does school... so basically he's here to pick up food and drop off dirty clothes.  It makes it 10 times harder not having an available support partner.  So again... you are superwoman and doing awesome.  

 

I really only have 2 ideas that might help... mostly just wanted to give you props.  

 

My mom is a twin... they were number 4 and 5 in the family, and the oldest was 5 when they were born... SO there was 2 1year olds, 2yo, 4yo, 5yo... She says that she literally doesn't remember ever being out of a playpen until she was 4...  Seriously.  Do what you have to do, and remember to take care of yourself in whatever ways you can.  

 

For some weird reason listening to audio story records (as in old fashioned records) is completely entertaining for my 5yo...  Have you tried instead of Reading aloud listening to an audio?  It might free you up to entertain the littles while you listen and yet you can still maybe be in the room with the olders?  

 

I live very rurally also... do you have any support people around you or anywhere that you can walk?  As in a field, safe street... anything that you don't have to get in a car to go to?  The more my family gets outside the happier we all are... 

 

ETA: oh... and clean clothes are over-rated... I went through a period of time where our farm chores were overwhelming me and I decided we were all allowed 2 outfits... period...  we wore one until it was GROSS, THEN I washed it...  I often have overalls or separate pants for the kids to throw on to play outside, then they take them off when they come back in...  

[MomOfABunch]

May I ask where you got your idea for "busy bag" activities? I'm a bit concerned that they just throw the pieces everywhere and try to eat them.

I got a TON of ideas from http://www.1plus1plus1equals1.com/. Also Pinterest.

 

For reading aloud, I also vote for not doing that during the twins nap time. Definately try to use that time for core instruction for the older kids.

 

Something that has saved me in the last couple years are these 2 books:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Managers-Their-Homes-Scheduling-Homeschool/dp/0966910702/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1414558372&sr=8-2&keywords=managers+of+their+chores

 

http://www.amazon.com/Managers-Their-Chores-1/dp/0966910796/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1414558372&sr=8-1&keywords=managers+of+their+chores

 

Overlook the religious emphasis if that doesn't match your lifestyle, but seriously, the plans here changed the way I do things. This was also helpful, but not as much as the above.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Large-Family-Logistics-Kim-Brenneman/dp/1934554499/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1414558567&sr=1-1&keywords=large+family+logistics

 

Something I find myself saying to my bunch a lot is that we are a family. We work together for the good of our family. That means we all pitch in to do what our family needs to be done. I can't possibly do it all, they have to help. It's simply not a choice anymore! Things may not be done exactly the way I would do them, but it's FAR better than them not getting done at all.

 

My oldest DS has a lot of responsibility - to include a few meals a week and watching the littles while I do reading one on one with DS(5) and DD. He also recently took over FIAR for the little boys. He asked if he could and I said, sure, let's try it. He's doing a better job than me:)

 

DS(5) unloads the dishwasher and sweeps under the table after each meal. DD and DS(3) can pick things up and put them away with DS(5) telling them where to put them. DS(5) can occupy the baby (within earshot of me) for a good 15-30 minutes. I structure our schedule so I don't have to ask them to do these things. It's their job at that point in the day.

 

Because DD has special needs, I effectively have 4 littles. I feel your pain! Take a step back and realize that you are doing an amazing and difficult job!! This too shall pass and then you can look back to see what a good job you were actually doing.