DragonFaerie Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I want to know what the Hive thinks about this. DSS(19) posted something on FB about wanting to visit Brazil. SO replied "For all the hot women!!!!!" If your husband or SO said this, would you be offended or would you think nothing of it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 On a 19 step sons Facebook? Wouldn't bother me at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Think nothing of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I would think nothing of it. Unless, of course, it was secretly true .... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 It's a joke. I would think nothing of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 He was teasing his son that the son wanted to go for the hot women? Wouldn't phase me at all. It's like joking about going to Amsterdam for the pot or whatever. I wouldn't think he was serious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I'd think nothing of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 He was teasing his son that the son wanted to go for the hot women? Wouldn't phase me at all. It's like joking about going to Amsterdam for the pot or whatever. I wouldn't think he was serious. If he said it to another married guy, then it might annoy me. But, to an unmarried young person? It is just teasing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I would be surprised because that is not the sort of thing my dh would say, but I wouldn't think much of it. I would cringe because I think it is tasteless, but that is about as far as it would go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I'd kind of roll my eyes because it sounded kind of dorky, but that's all. It's obviously just a joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I would be a bit embarrased that he would post something with so many exclamation marks as a grown man ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 I would be surprised because that is not the sort of thing my dh would say, but I wouldn't think much of it. I would cringe because I think it is tasteless, but that is about as far as it would go. I did think it was tasteless, but we have some fairly heavy baggage that we're sorting through, so I read a lot more into than just that. To me, it was disrespectful to me, as though he is still out there looking at other women (and really happy about it given all those exclamation points). But it sounds like I probably overreacted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 But it's the kid wanting visit Brazil and your SO right? So he was saying the kid was visiting for that reason? What makes it look like SO is looking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 But it's the kid wanting visit Brazil and your SO right? So he was saying the kid was visiting for that reason? What makes it look like SO is looking? It's just the way I interpreted it. Maybe it was all those exclamation points. A question mark would have given the remark a whole different feel, IYKWIM. DSS's reply was classy. He said something along the lines of, "Definitely a plus, but I really just want to travel and Brazil is one place I want to visit the most." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Perhaps he was trying to bond or something. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyS Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I want to know what the Hive thinks about this. DSS(19) posted something on FB about wanting to visit Brazil. SO replied "For all the hot women!!!!!" If your husband or SO said this, would you be offended or would you think nothing of it? This is why I keep my FB circle small (seriously, like 20). If they aren't really my friend, we aren't friend on FB, either. Too much crossing of boundaries and information. My sister was offended when I declined her son's FB friend request. Hey, I like the kid (he's 15), but he's not my friend, nor my peer, and he doesn't get a window into my life with my friends and peers (his window into my life is that I'm his aunty), and I don't want a window into his life with his peers, either. One of the downsides of things like FB is that there is way too much permeability of normal boundaries between sets of people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 Got the clarification- I would see the response as immature and opening a door to a conversation that I probably wouldn't want SO to be involved in with his guy friends. But, I don't know you or your SO and what your boundries are. KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie75 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I get what you are saying. It would of rubbed me that wrong way as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SproutMamaK Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I seem to be in the minority here, but I'd be annoyed (and a little disturbed). If it's your step-son, it's his son, right? Regardless, for an older male authority figure to publicly talk about women that way is disrespectful to women, imo. Sad that is seems from the boy's response that he was the one to be mature and try to avoid the awkwardness while the grown man is making vaguely dirty inferences on his page. If I were just a random FB friend seeing that post, I'd think it was awkward and lose some respect for the elder man. Sure, it was just a joke, but it was an inappropriate one for a public atmosphere, especially given the father (or father figure) type relationship. I get REALLY annoyed at the blatant, public objectification of women under the guise of "male bonding". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 I seem to be in the minority here, but I'd be annoyed (and a little disturbed). If it's your step-son, it's his son, right? Regardless, for an older male authority figure to publicly talk about women that way is disrespectful to women, imo. Sad that is seems from the boy's response that he was the one to be mature and try to avoid the awkwardness while the grown man is making vaguely dirty inferences on his page. If I were just a random FB friend seeing that post, I'd think it was awkward and lose some respect for the elder man. Sure, it was just a joke, but it was an inappropriate one for a public atmosphere, especially given the father (or father figure) type relationship. I get REALLY annoyed at the blatant, public objectification of women under the guise of "male bonding". Yes, my SO is DSS's father. SO is actually my XDH, but we're back together and working on rebuilding our relationship, which is part of that baggage that makes me probably more than a little touchy about things. He thinks the comment was no big deal and I need to get over it already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I wouldn't think anything of it. Even if dh enjoys seeing a "hot" woman, it wouldn't bother me. I believe it is natural to look and appreciate qualities that you find pleasing to the eye. Now if he is leering at or drooling over these women, I'd take issue with it. In this case, it sound like a joke or tease. It may have been in bad taste, but I have never truly understood the father son teasing that goes on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I think you would do better to file away his comment in your mind and consider it when you are considering whether you really want to be with this man. I can see where we might think he was just teasing step son, you are in a better position to determine his real views on the topic. Your follow up makes it seem like doesn't think it is a big deal to think the way he does, talk about women in this context, etc. The appropriate response isn't to try to change the grown man, but to decide if you want to be with a grown man who holds those views. KWIM? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 I wouldn't care and that is TOTALLY something my husband would do. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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