Wishing I had never put my child in public school

[parias1126]

I had previously homeschooled my children for thirteen years. I have even graduated my oldest child who is now 21. Six weeks into our homeschool year close to two years ago, I decided to put my children in the public school. I do truly believe that every child is different and does well in different environments, although, between all the bullying as well as not much social interaction, I'm not a happy mama!

 

It's funny the biggest question I got for YEARS is, "Don't you worry about social interaction?" In the public school, my children don't get to speak to one another. Even in the cafeteria at lunch time, they turn music on and every child must be quiet or gets disiplinary action (sticks pulled until they've had enough pulled to be sent to the office just for speaking). After two years in the public school, not one meaningful relationship was made for any of my three children.

 

My daughter is going to be in 6th and is coming home again this year because we just went through a redistricting and I can not let her go to the middle school we are now districted for. After looking at what she was learning in math, she was doing the same thing we were doing when I sent her to school two years ago. I'm now struggling to find math curriculum that won't kill her self-esteem.

 

As for Grammar...none!ziltch!nada!I want to go with R&S, but it's so rigorous that I'm afraid it will overwhelm her after forgetting everything she had previously learned as a homeschooler. I did end up going with R&S 5th grade and going to start some review during what we have left of the Summer time. I'm hoping this works out.

 

She has begged to go back to HOD so I chose CTC instead of RTR or higher so we have the chance to read and spend some quality time together without it being too overwhelming.

 

If I had known, I probably would had kept my DD12 home and sent my boys to school (who are doing fine).

 

I'm really stumped on Math thought. I'm looking at TT6. I wanted to go back to CLE, but the 6th grade is way beyond her. She showed me her math last night and was only doing some word problems, as well as long division and multiplying three digit numbers by two digit numbers. I think CLE is way beyond that. The first book that is just review was going over trillions and billions with place value and she hasnt even been introduced to this yet. I'm at a loss.

 

So, she has basically wasted two years in PS reviewing and I'll spend a year trying to play "catch up". So disappointed.

[fairfarmhand]

There, there.

 

It's okay.

 

Thankfully, much of middle school is review, especially in math.

 

She may not be a student who is advanced in math, doing algebra in 8th or anything, but if you can get her a solid grasp of arithmetic before high school starts, she will be okay.

 

I do like Teaching Textbooks. Hopefully it will give her confidence the boost that she needs.

 

Right now, I would create an account for her on Khan Academy and have her take the placement test so she can start where she needs to start there and get some review.

[AimeeM]

I'm sorry. I know the feeling, only for us it was a special needs (dyslexia) private school - advertised as a school for bright/gifted dyslexic children with high ability. Laughable. She not only made no progress in ELA (what the school, as one for dyslexics, should have prioritized), but she was simply doing a repeat of math (what she previously did very well in) - and they switched teachers constantly, so nothing was consistent. She is coming home this year confused about fractions, even though this was something she had definitely mastered prior to the school.

We're back tracking. I'm holding her back a year (she wants to attend a local private Catholic high school) because I know she needs another year before high school.

 

When it was fresh, I felt the same (wish I'd never sent her), but as it becomes more "the past", I realize that it sounded like such a good opportunity that had we NOT sent her, we would have constantly wondered "what if", so in that respect I'm glad we did send her. I do, however, regret that I'm bringing home a child who not only now has to be held back a year, but a child with broken self esteem (they also specialized in breaking a child's spirit - fun times).

 

*hugs*

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

[Ellie]

I had previously homeschooled my children for thirteen years. I have even graduated my oldest child who is now 21. Six weeks into our homeschool year close to two years ago, I decided to put my children in the public school. I do truly believe that every child is different and does well in different environments, although, between all the bullying as well as not much social interaction, I'm not a happy mama!

 

It's funny the biggest question I got for YEARS is, "Don't you worry about social interaction?" In the public school, my children don't get to speak to one another. Even in the cafeteria at lunch time, they turn music on and every child must be quiet or gets disciplinary action (sticks pulled until they've had enough pulled to be sent to the office just for speaking). After two years in the public school, not one meaningful relationship was made for any of my three children.

 

My daughter is going to be in 6th and is coming home again this year because we just went through a redistricting and I can not let her go to the middle school we are now districted for. After looking at what she was learning in math, she was doing the same thing we were doing when I sent her to school two years ago. I'm now struggling to find math curriculum that won't kill her self-esteem.

 

As for Grammar...none!ziltch!nada!I want to go with R&S, but it's so rigorous that I'm afraid it will overwhelm her after forgetting everything she had previously learned as a homeschooler. I did end up going with R&S 5th grade and going to start some review during what we have left of the Summer time. I'm hoping this works out.

 

She has begged to go back to HOD so I chose CTC instead of RTR or higher so we have the chance to read and spend some quality time together without it being too overwhelming.

 

If I had known, I probably would had kept my DD12 home and sent my boys to school (who are doing fine).

 

I'm really stumped on Math thought. I'm looking at TT6. I wanted to go back to CLE, but the 6th grade is way beyond her. She showed me her math last night and was only doing some word problems, as well as long division and multiplying three digit numbers by two digit numbers. I think CLE is way beyond that. The first book that is just review was going over trillions and billions with place value and she hasnt even been introduced to this yet. I'm at a loss.

 

So, she has basically wasted two years in PS reviewing and I'll spend a year trying to play "catch up". So disappointed.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

Doesn't TT have a placement test? That would be the best place to start. If not TT, then Saxon, being sure to give her the placement test first.

[kiana]

It's gonna be okay, it really is.

 

I'm still not sure if she took the placement test for TT6 -- did she? You need to start where she is, not where you would like her to be. Even if she places lower than that, it's still *going to be okay*. Relax, breathe, and start working through math at a steady pace. Don't worry about whether the number on the book says "6".

 

TT levels below pre-algebra have about 120 lessons per year -- PA has 140. I would believe that a conscientious student who does not take summer breaks and is placed below grade level due to lack of teaching in school -- not due to lack of ability -- should be able to work through at least 1.5 grade levels per calendar year. Maybe even two by working on Saturdays as well (watch out for burnout though). She'll make it and it's gonna be fine.

 

For grammar, if R + S doesn't work out, you might consider something like Analytical Grammar, which is not supposed to require prerequisite knowledge.

[Hunter]

The realities of PS are often so different than the advertising. Well, now, on bad homeschooling days you will know the realities of what takes place there for THIS child, if not all children. You know THIS child is better home, even when you are not feeling so good about what you are accomplishing with her. Sooo…place her where she is at. Move forward slow and steady.

 

You will be calmer about high school because of this, even if she is behind where you think she would have been if she had stayed home. So many homeschoolers are competing with a mirage that doesn't exist, and feeling like they are failing to keep up with what the the local PS is advertising. 

[TheAutumnOak]

The realities of PS are often so different than the advertising. Well, now, on bad homeschooling days you will know the realities of what takes place there for THIS child, if not all children. You know THIS child is better home, even when you are not feeling so good about what you are accomplishing with her. Sooo…place her where she is at. Move forward slow and steady.

 

You will be calmer about high school because of this, even if she is behind where you think she would have been if she had stayed home. So many homeschoolers are competing with a mirage that doesn't exist, and feeling like they are failing to keep up with what the the local PS is advertising. 

 

This...You now know the best route for your daughter is at home...Many people struggle with whether they should keep a particular child home...You now know, and that feeling of peace at knowing you are doing the right thing might just make up for the time you feel like you lost...

 

Being sure of your course of action is a wonderful feeling...

[parias1126]

It's gonna be okay, it really is.

 

I'm still not sure if she took the placement test for TT6 -- did she? You need to start where she is, not where you would like her to be. Even if she places lower than that, it's still *going to be okay*. Relax, breathe, and start working through math at a steady pace. Don't worry about whether the number on the book says "6".

 

TT levels below pre-algebra have about 120 lessons per year -- PA has 140. I would believe that a conscientious student who does not take summer breaks and is placed below grade level due to lack of teaching in school -- not due to lack of ability -- should be able to work through at least 1.5 grade levels per calendar year. Maybe even two by working on Saturdays as well (watch out for burnout though). She'll make it and it's gonna be fine.

 

For grammar, if R + S doesn't work out, you might consider something like Analytical Grammar, which is not supposed to require prerequisite knowledge.

Yes, she's taken the placement for TT6. She got a few wrong, but according to the test she isn't far behind. I may pick up a couple CLE books to get some extra practice or find some worksheets online to work with her over the Summer. I've also thought about some Summer Tutoring.

[kiana]

Yes, she's taken the placement for TT6. She got a few wrong, but according to the test she isn't far behind. I may pick up a couple CLE books to get some extra practice or find some worksheets online to work with her over the Summer. I've also thought about some Summer Tutoring.

 

She'll be fine then. She doesn't even have to do more than one grade per year in order to get 4 credits of math in HS, starting with algebra 1. She's on track!

[Storygirl]

If you haven't already, have her take the CLE placement tests as well. No need to guess where she will place, when you can find out for sure :thumbup1: .

[parias1126]

If you haven't already, have her take the CLE placement tests as well. No need to guess where she will place, when you can find out for sure :thumbup1: .

 

We are in the process of doing the Saxon placement test. It's nothing but tears. I'm not sure I'll be able to give her another placement test after doing TT and Saxon. I'm at a loss honestly.

 

When doing the placement 6/5 on Saxon, the question states: Use digits to write eight hundred eighteen thousand, eighty. Her answer reads, "8,018.80".

 

Then another further down the page, "What are the next three terms in this couting sequence?" 2,700, 2,800, 2,900.... Her response is "21000, 21100, 21200".

 

It's looking like she needs to go back to 5th grade math. I'm really not happy with myself at this point for ever thinking she would be okay in the public school. I knew what they were doing, but I didn't think it was this bad. They have just kept pushing her ahead even though she was not getting the concepts because she puts her entire heart and soul into everything she does. Her teachers have expressed this for the past two years, but I had no idea how much they were just letting slide. She had been tested and considered to have a "math disablity" by the public school. She has struggled since very young, but I can't imagine having to back all the way back up to the 5th grade.

 

I really love CLE math and just may go ahead and start her all the way back to the 5th grade light units.

 

In a perfect world, she could just sit around and read and draw all day long. She is such a happy girl when she is doing something creative, but put a math book in front of her and it's nothing but tears. I'm now working from home and was looking for something she could do more independently. I'm now realizing this isn't going to happen and I'm going to have to set 2 hours aside each day to sit with her and be very hands on, as well as hire a tutor.

[Reefgazer]

A friend of mine pulled her DD out of school (private school also pushes ahead, apparently) in 6th grade and she was working at a 3rd grade math level.  It took a few years, but she did catch up and is fine now and going into 8th grade.  Put her where she is at, even if that's 5th grade, and just work slowly and steadily, an hour a day and then a bit extra later on/on weekends/summers to catch up.  Tell your DD you are sorry you made a mistake in placing her in public school, but that you will work with her to catch her up and you will help her work slowly and steadily to do so.  Make it a team effort and reward her with extra non-school attention when she works with you on it.  For what it's worth, my friend swore that Horizon math saved their bacon, but I have no experience with it.

 

My DD came out of public school at the end of 5th grade.  She wasn't behind exactly, but I felt her level of mastery wasn't where it needed to be.  We stepped back almost a year and just cranked out extras on Saturdays and through part of the summer.  She's where she has to be now and doing very well.  You'll get there, but be patient.

We are in the process of doing the Saxon placement test. It's nothing but tears. I'm not sure I'll be able to give her another placement test after doing TT and Saxon. I'm at a loss honestly.

 

When doing the placement 6/5 on Saxon, the question states: Use digits to write eight hundred eighteen thousand, eighty. Her answer reads, "8,018.80".

 

Then another further down the page, "What are the next three terms in this couting sequence?" 2,700, 2,800, 2,900.... Her response is "21000, 21100, 21200".

 

It's looking like she needs to go back to 5th grade math. I'm really not happy with myself at this point for ever thinking she would be okay in the public school. I knew what they were doing, but I didn't think it was this bad. They have just kept pushing her ahead even though she was not getting the concepts because she puts her entire heart and soul into everything she does. Her teachers have expressed this for the past two years, but I had no idea how much they were just letting slide. She had been tested and considered to have a "math disablity" by the public school. She has struggled since very young, but I can't imagine having to back all the way back up to the 5th grade.

 

I really love CLE math and just may go ahead and start her all the way back to the 5th grade light units.

 

In a perfect world, she could just sit around and read and draw all day long. She is such a happy girl when she is doing something creative, but put a math book in front of her and it's nothing but tears. I'm now working from home and was looking for something she could do more independently. I'm now realizing this isn't going to happen and I'm going to have to set 2 hours aside each day to sit with her and be very hands on, as well as hire a tutor.

 

[Ellie]

Yes, she's taken the placement for TT6. She got a few wrong, but according to the test she isn't far behind. I may pick up a couple CLE books to get some extra practice or find some worksheets online to work with her over the Summer. I've also thought about some Summer Tutoring.

 

You know, it might just be better to let her have the summer to recoup. You say she isn't that far behind, right? Well, let her rest. :-)

[Hunter]

Not all children do well being on grade level for math, especially the more challenging maths of today compared to those of 20 years ago. CLE is quite challenging!

 

I had one child who was 5 years accelerated in math. BUT, I have learned that math is like yeast. A student only benefits from enough to leaven the rest of the curriculum. Despite his gift, if I had it to do over again, I would have spent less time and worry and money on math. All that math just ended out being like too much yeast, without enough dough to use it all. In contrast my older son was "behind" in math and has done just fine in life, and even better than his "gifted" brother.

 

Math levels are easy to measure and it's something people can grab onto and compare. I don't think math is as important as people make it out to be. It's what people just get caught up in.

 

CLE a year "behind" is plenty of math/yeast to leaven the rest of a 6th grade curriculum.

 

I believe it's a human right for children to be placed at a developmentally appropriate level in math, and I think too many children are being pushed too hard in math, in our current internationally competitive mindset. I think we are doing our children and even our country a disservice.

 

I feel the same way about grammar. Students need just enough grammar instruction to leaven their current level of composition ability. Any more is just wasted. We can waste an awful lot of time, money and worry on math and grammar, just because they are easy to measure.

 

 

[BlessedMom]

((((((((Hugs))))))))

[parias1126]

Thank you for all your replies. I ended up just purchasing CLE 5TH grade last night. It's what we've used in the past and what we're used to. I love that I'm be able to sit right with her if she should need me too and also that it will have some review to help boost her confidence. We will take our time with it and do the things we feel she needs to review and be just fine. :)

[TammyS]

I'm really stumped on Math thought. I'm looking at TT6. I wanted to go back to CLE, but the 6th grade is way beyond her. She showed me her math last night and was only doing some word problems, as well as long division and multiplying three digit numbers by two digit numbers. I think CLE is way beyond that. The first book that is just review was going over trillions and billions with place value and she hasnt even been introduced to this yet. I'm at a loss.

 

So, she has basically wasted two years in PS reviewing and I'll spend a year trying to play "catch up". So disappointed.

.

 

I would suggest Khan Academy.  There are no "levels" she just picks up with what she can do and moves forward, wherever that is.  It's all just based on skills.  She can try some things out and figure out what her right level is.  Plus it will give her review.

 

 

[Luanne]

You might want to try to figure out how your sons are doing as well.  No need in having them go through the same thing your daughter did.  Unless you have other reasons for wanting to keep them in public school, why leave them there?