Do any of your kids not play with toys/games?

[nature girl]

It seems like all my DD has ever wanted to do is read/be read to, and be taught (the small amount of schooling we do now) interspersed with imaginary play (which she'll lead, but she seems to need me or my DH to be a part of.) There's very little independent play at all. I've bought her every toy and game and art supply I could find that looked interesting and fun, but they just sit on the shelves unused, even though I'm always trying to engage her by playing with them myself. She'll play in playgrounds and we do go outside quite a bit, but even then she doesn't really play much, has no interest in ball or chase or bike riding or whatever, would much rather just with us and have conversations.

 

Is she going to miss out on a lot by not doing regular play with toys? I mean I'm sure she will, even things like visuospatial skills she's not getting because she doesn't like puzzles/Legos/blocks, and fine motor skills that aren't progressing because she doesn't do art/drawing/coloring. Is there anything I should be doing that I haven't thought of? (She does like my iPad, but I want to really limit apps and other electronic toys, for now.)

[Arcadia]

even things like visuospatial skills she's not getting because she doesn't like puzzles/Legos/blocks, and fine motor skills that aren't progressing because she doesn't do art/drawing/coloring.

For coloring, does your library have story time that you can go to? The children's story time here have coloring pages and crayons for the kids. There is also the drawing crayons for bath walls.

 

Would she like some finger puppets or play theatre for pretend play? How about clay modeling?

[desertflower]

Lucky you! All my kids want to do is play on the wii. I think she is fine. But I'm no doctor. Just so you know my husband grew up poor, and he had virtually no toys. He only made 3 B'S throughout his schooling and he has his masters.

 

So, I wouldn't worry too much about her. Enjoy the time you have to play with her.

 

If u r worried, then how about going to a children's museum? They usually have all kinds of different toys. Perhaps there you can see if she prefers a certain toy.

 

I think reading to her and playing with her are important things in her life right now.

[nature girl]

For coloring, does your library have story time that you can go to? The children's story time here have coloring pages and crayons for the kids. There is also the drawing crayons for bath walls.

 

Would she like some finger puppets or play theatre for pretend play? How about clay modeling?

 

We go to library story time once or twice a week, and it does include a craft. She'll do what it takes to finish the craft (usually just sticking things together with a glue stick) but never wants to embellish it with the crayons/markers. I think part of the reason is she gets frustrated with her drawing ability, that pictures don't look like she sees them in her head, so gives up really quickly. Crayons for bath walls is a good idea, I'm going to try that!

 

She does have puppets, and we use them for imaginary play pretty often. She actually likes clay/play dough/sand actually, so we do get some play time out of them, but never more than 10 minutes at a time. It just seems so strange to me, I've never met a kid who didn't want to spend most of their time with toys. I feel like I've wasted so much money trying to engage her.

[Arcadia]

I think part of the reason is she gets frustrated with her drawing ability, that pictures don't look like she sees them in her head, so gives up really quickly.

While at a park or beach, let her draw with a stick/twig on the sand. It is easy to "erase" and "re-do" which help my boys from getting upset over their drawings. When they are done, I just take photos of their sand drawings.

 

A whiteboard would work too, just that my kids like a big drawing space.

[Storygirl]

My oldest was kind of like that as a toddler and preschooler. She really just wanted to be with me. She would play with her toys when I played with her but not much on her own.  She would stand by me and hold my leg while I was getting her lunch ready instead of playing by herself for a few minutes. Our solution: we gave her some siblings :p . Seriously, once there were other children in the house, she would play with the toys -- when she was playing with them. I think she just didn't have fun playing alone, and though I wanted her to be more independent, it all turned out fine.  She's twelve now, and she still plays with toys that most kids her age would have lost interest in by now -- Polly Pockets, Monster High dolls, stuffed animals....she loves them all. She didn't like to color as a preschooler but loves it now.

 

Don't worry.  I think you probably worry about this quite a bit, since in your signature, you mention the phrase "force to just play." I take it she is an only child? Do you have a playgroup you can take her to? Maybe she would play more if she were interacting with a friend.  And if not, just give it time. Don't spend more money on toys if she is not interested in them. Maybe use that money to sign her up for a dance class or a preschool gym membership instead. As long as she is happy, it doesn't matter if she plays with certain toys or not. If you give her a lot of different opportunities, she will find something that interests her in time.

[Meadowlark]

Are you sure you're not talking about my child? Jeesh, I have a 7 yr. old just like that. He's always been like that actually. I remember when his brother was born, he was 18 months old, and I remember hoping it would get better, that he would stop depending on me for entertainment. It didn't work. He really does not play with toys. Lucky you that she engages in imaginative play. My son plays with his farm setup and likes to read. but only when confined to his room. He never chooses to go down there on his own. He's very interested in adult conversations, aka nosy! He is soooo social and always wants to be around people. It's exhausting. I've kind of come to accept it because I know he's not changing, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me from time to time.

[Pegs]

My kid is similar, and also an only child. When we are with other children, I barely see him as he is so busy playing. At home, just the two of us, we do a LOT of reading, play one or two board and card games a day, and just generally potter about. He does play with Lego, which thrills me to bits, as his fine motor co will be a fair way behind for many years. He is not naturally a free ranging kinda kid, much to my surprise, so I try to keep on top of offering engaging activities, and we have fairly regular play dates.

[kiwik]

Lucky you! All my kids want to do is play on the wii. I think she is fine. But I'm no doctor. Just so you know my husband grew up poor, and he had virtually no toys. He only made 3 B'S throughout his schooling and he has his masters.

 

So, I wouldn't worry too much about her. Enjoy the time you have to play with her.

 

If u r worried, then how about going to a children's museum? They usually have all kinds of different toys. Perhaps there you can see if she prefers a certain toy.

 

I think reading to her and playing with her are important things in her life right now.

Toys haven't much to do with play really. I have one who plays but mostly Lego and active stuff, puzzles and games. The younger can spend half an hour playing with a handful of stones or a couple of twigs.

 

It does sound like only child stuff. You are her only playmate so she wants you to play with her all the time.

[Coco_Clark]

Yep, sounds like only child syndrome to me. My brother's daughter is just like this. She's 5 and has only ever been interested in hanging with the adults. He's flabbergasted by the fact that my kids will go to their room and not come out for hours on end. I think its just boring to play by yourself. When I have only one around for some reason, they stick to me like jelly.

 

I don't think it's harmful, though. And she's certainly not missing out on anything. She's only four, many kids that age don't enjoy puzzles or Legos even if they have gads of independent play.

[MistiDelaney]

You are describing two of mine - and me, for that matter.  :)

 

I don't think it's a problem.  I didn't have much use for toys as a child, and two of mine are / were the same way.  I think it's just another way of being in the world.

[Farrar]

I don't think it's a problem or that you have to do anything about.  in other words not really a problem. ;)

 

But if you want to help her with her art, I'd suggest either see about an art class, especially a multi-age one.  Or focus on doing really process oriented projects instead of turning out pictures that look like something specific.  The Peter Reynolds book Dot is a cute picture book that can help on this front as well.

[reign]

I don't think it's a big deal unless you are very serious in your statement about her fine motor skills not progressing. Then I might try adding in fine motor activities and do them with her. Maybe while listening to audiobooks.

 

My oldest never played alone until she got to be 6ish. She will now play alone in short bursts. She didn't play with toys unless I pretended with her. Once her sister could play along life got much easier. She also is the only child I had to make learn to ride her bike. She enjoys it now and both sisters learned so they can all have races. If it was up to her I would read, talk, and play board games with her all day long.

[kbutton]

She may view you as a playmate, or it could be a red flag for something else. I wouldn't worry about it a lot right now, but if you see other things that are unusual, keep this in mind. Should you need an evaluation down the road, it can be a significant detail (it was in our case). We have two kiddos--one that plays alone and one that does not.

 

She may be relying on you to provide something in the play such as information that she doesn't know on her own (my kiddos sometimes want specific details in their play), or she might want to talk out her ideas. She might be relying on you to help her interpret the world also, which might or might not be problematic.

 

This is a bit out there, but she might need her vision checked. If she's never seen well, she wouldn't know the difference, but it could show up in play activities. I strongly recommend all kids see a COVD (developmental) optometrist. They can test for more than just visual acuity. Everyone needs vision screenings, and she's at a good age to do it. Everyone thinks they would notice if their child has a vision problem, but that just isn't the case most of the time.